Monday, 17 June 2013

Paul’s funeral: Mon 17.06.13 #thearchers

Pondering The Archers Monday 17th June 2013
  • Matt’s pure evil
  • Clarrie didn’t let Eddie get much sleep last night

Matt’s pure evil

Matt and Lilian are getting ready to go to Paul’s funeral:

[Matt] “I don’t want a do at some crem when I go. They’re like conveyor belts … As long as all of Paul’s family is there. That’s the main thing.”

Course, Matt knows that Lilian was having an affair with Paul. But Lilian doesn’t know that Matt knows.

He seems to be enjoying torturing her by insisting she goes to Paul’s funeral.

When they get there, Matt’s impressed by how many people are there. Lilian tries Jolene’s suggested ploy of saying she shouldn’t go in as it should just be family.

Matt responds that she is family.

[Matt] “You’re my partner. And I want you there beside me. Isn’t that enough for you?”

Lilian then tries Jolene’s other ploy of saying she has a headache.

But Matt takes her on a quick walk to clear her head.

As they enter the chapel (to that Eric Clapton tune), Lilian starts sobbing. Loudly.

After, Lilian tries to get them away as fast as possible. But Grace (Paul’s daughter) invites them to the buffet. Matt says they have to get gone, but Grace insists.

After a long enough pause to terrify Lilian, Matt says no.

Matt’s really on a roll. When Lilian mentions that Celia wasn’t at the funeral:

[Matt] “Grace said last week she wouldn’t be here. Didn’t I say?”


When they get home, Clarrie pops rounds to ask Lilian if she can have her white rambling roses. Lilian abruptly tells her to help herself. She then explains that they’re just back from a funeral.

[Clarrie] “Was it anyone close?”

[Matt] “My half-brother, But I can’t say we were close, were we Lilian?”


[Lilian] “No.”

And she starts sobbing.

[Lilian] “I’m sorry Matt. I’m sorry. It’s just the day …”

How long will Matt keep this up?

Clarrie didn’t let Eddie get much sleep last night


[Clarrie] “You’ve never having another coffee, Eddie. I’ll be scraping you off that ceiling.”

But Eddie reckons he needs the caffeine. Seems Clarrie kept him awake as she herself kept waking up, and scribbling ideas for her flower display.

[Eddie] “Flippin’ eck, Clarrie, it’s not worth losing sleep over!”

[Clarrie] “Night time is when you’re at your most creative … it’s your subconscious working.”

Clarrie’s inspiration is now to use white rambling roses.

[Nic] “Do you not think it’s a bit ambitious?”

[Eddie] “Over the top …”

But, Clarrie wants to be ambitious.

[Nic] “Don’t you think that sometimes les s is more?”

[Clarrie] “Not in this case.”

What’s more, Clarrie now also wants a water feature (Jazzer told her Christine is having one).

When Clarrie pops out:

[Eddie, to Nic] “You look a bit shell shocked.”

[Nic] “I don’t know what to think … I don’t want to sounds like I’m criticising, you know how fond of her I am … she’s edging me out as far as this display goes … Maybe I should try and tone her ideas down a bit.”

[Eddie] “Good luck with that Nic.”

Aye indeed.

Clarrie really is off on one.

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