Saturday, 29 December 2012

Blindfolds, bells and bladders: Tues 18.12.12 #thearchers

The Archers Tuesday 18 December 2012
  • The Axeman cometh
  • Neil needs Ruth to be subtle
  • Kenton and Jill go all James Bond
  • Susan and Neil gorge
  • Tracey only has herself to blame?
  • Weddings it is
  • Did we do stir up Sunday?
  • Jill is ashamed to know Morris Dancers

The Axeman cometh

Jim’s no a happy chappy

The new Borchester Life magazine is out, featuring Jim’s interview with Mike.

[Jim] “I shall never be able to show my face in Ambridge again!”

[Jazzer] “What’s he doing with that naff woolly. He looks like a right Jessie.”

(Mike did try and tell Vicky that’s what his mates would say)

Seems the editors have cut down Jim’s article to the point where it’s nothing like the original. Worse still, they cut it AND ruined it.

[Jazzer] “You’re an interesting bloke Jim, hut you can go on a bit. Sometimes less is mair … who really wants to read a lot about Mike Tucker?”

But Jim’s not to be placated.

He reckons they’ve dummed it down. And is horrified that the article is now called: ‘The Axeman cometh’

[Jim] “Look at that apostrophe. They’ll think I'm illiterate … my lovely semi colons, all gone.”

[Jazzer] “Most people wouldn’t know a semi colon if it bit them.”

Jim and Jazzer adjourn to The Bull, where Jim is deeply in mourning. His article has been “cut short in its prime”.

[Jazzer] “As you can see, he’s taken it to heart. It’s the artist in him.”

Jazzer tries to comfort Jim by telling him that no-one reads Borchester Life anyhoo …

Neil needs Ruth to be subtle

That’ll be interesting.

Neil’s still worrying about Ed. He’s angry with himself for not having noticed that Ed was having such huge problems.

He also thinks Ed shouldn’t be hard on himself. As Neil said the other day, he also had problems when he first started out.

[Susan] “They were never down to sloppy paperwork.”

But Neil points out that Ed’s only ever been taught about stock. Why would he know how to manage a business?

So he needs Ruth to help out.

But subtly.


Kenton and Jill go all James Bond

Kenton is the chap behind the guerrilla stickering.


He’s got Jill roped into helping him – but it all has to be very cloak and dagger. Kenton reckons it’s more fun that way.

And Jill does seem to be enjoying it. She even suggests she puts a candle in her window to let Kenton know the coast is clear for visiting her after Elizabeth has been … but as Kenton points out, he can just check if Elizabeth’s car is gone. 

Susan and Neil gorge

While being distressed about Emma.

[Neil] “A daughter of mine starving herself to feed her own kids.”

Neil and Susan seemed to be eating for hours while they talked.

How ironic.

Tracey only has herself to blame?

Word has filtered through from Ambridge Extra that Tracey has lost her job.

Susan reckons she’s just unlucky.

Neil reckons she’s her own worst enemy.

A bit of both, I reckons.

That snotty teacher didn’t help matters much.

Weddings it is

Elizabeth visited a place called Barefield Manor, who have already created accommodation for weddings, as Elizabeth intends to do.

Seems they’ve gone from 15 to 35 weddings in a year. The jump in numbers is down to folks being able to drink at the wedding, then inly have a short stagger to their bed.

This might just be me – but is an extra 20 weddings a year worth a £70,000 + loan?

Seems like a small, and very slow, return.

Did we do stir up Sunday?

I don’t think so. It just came to me that I don’t remember a mention of Stir Up Sunday in Ambridge.

Wasn’t it on 25th November?

How sad, if it has been dropped as an Ambridge tradition.

Jill is ashamed to know Morris Dancers

Kenton needs Jill to get him extra mince pies, blindfolds, bells that go round people’s ankles and pig’s bladders.

The mice pies and blindfolds are no problem (I really don’t want to know why Jill has multiple blindfold type things to hand …)

For the bells:

[Jill] “Why don’t you ask some Morris dancers?”

[Kenton] “I don’t know any. I bet you do.”

[Jill] “Why should I … oh well yes …”

Seems Jill knows the Edgley troop that did a demo for the WI.

Why Pig’s bladders?

[Kenton] “Blown up to bop people on the head with.”

Of course!

Jill suggests Kenton ask or Neil.

But then has the brainwave that Kenton could just use balloons on sticks.

What fun!


Ralph Corderoy said...

Not sure if Jill stirred last month. A Day in Ambridge only says it was George and Nic making puds. Perhaps the editors thought the other eavesdroppings more important.

Wonder what Lizzie charges. £5K a pop, twenty extra bookings a year, 20% profit, £20K/year towards paying off the loan.

Inga McVicar said...

Tricky. You're probably right there was more important eavesdroppings ... but it's such a calendar event. George and Nic don't cut it for me. Has to be Jill and the Archers grandkids.

That's a very good point re how much Lizzie charges. From the little I know of the wedding market (I do some work with Gretna Green businesses), wedding numbers are holding up, but budgets are smaller. With there being on stigma to living together before marriage, weddings are seen as a luxury item. I'm not convinced Lizzie should have gone against the advice of her bank and concentrated on conferences.