Saturday, 29 December 2012

The Great Cheltenham Farce: Wed 19.12.12 #thearchers

The Archers Wednesday 19 December 2012
  • Mike, Vicky, Paul and Lilian are in Cheltenham
  • Are they all going to the same Italian?
  • If it was so posh, why did Paul have to get the salt and pepper?
  • What a palaver!

Mike, Vicky, Paul and Lilian are in Cheltenham

Not together, of course.

Mike has taken Vicky to go shopping, as a birthday treat.

Lilian is having a tryst with Paul.

Just so happens they all decided to go to Cheltenham on the same day.

How funny …

Are they all going to the same Italian?

High drama indeed!

Vicky’s buying another mobile for their little ‘un.

While Paul is buying Lilian a rather stunning new dress.

He and Lilian even share a kiss in the shop …

Will Vicky and Mike see Paul and Lilian kissing in the shop?


Paul has booked himself and Lilian into an Italian for lunch. Mike also mentions an Italian to Vicky.

Did they all end up eating in the same Italian?


Though Mike had intended to go to the same one Lilian and Paul ate at, it was fully booked and he reckoned looked too posh anyway. The lesser posh one had more of an atmosphere conducive to Vicky being able to look at her shopping.

[Mike] “Does that mean we’re going to be sharing our meal with the polar bear?”

If it was so posh, why did Paul have to get the salt and pepper?

When Matt called Lilian, Paul went off to get salt and pepper.

Surely a euphemism?

Such a classy joint would have salt and pepper would be set out?

Or was the chef that good that adding extra was not allowed?

What a palaver!

Paul and Lilian wanted every moment together. He’s going away for Christmas to see his sister, so this may be the last time they see each other for a while.

The plan had been for Paul to drive Lilian as close to home as safe to do so, but Matt scuppered that by saying he’d pick Lilian up from Hollerton junction.

Which meant Lilian would have to step off of a train.

So – Paul drives Lilian to Felpersham.

Lilian gets a train from there.

Which just so happens to be the same train that Mike and Vicky are taking home. Lilian also happens to get on the same carriage.

(of course!)

Lilian then has to pretend she hadn’t just got on the train at Felpersham.  She claims she had to switch carriages as someone was playing music loudly. And she got onto their carriage from the platform because the connecting doors were broken.

(well, she could have just said she’d nipped out for a very quick ciggie while the train had stopped)

When they get to Hollerton, Matt then insists they drive Mike and Vicky home. Which drives Matt and Lilian to distraction:

[Matt] “Blimey, that woman can talk, I think I know the contents of her nursery better than Mike.”

Worse still, Matt thinks the dress Paul bought Lilian is her gift to him.

He insists she wear it on Christmas day.

Lilian has promised Paul; she’d think of him every time she worse it.

Oh dear.

This could get nasty.

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