- Poor Bert
- Eddie’s a PR genius
- Eddie buys a freezer
- Brian nobbles Ian
- Bridge Farm has good post
- Brian’s a cheeky monkey
- Ian and Adam have a barney
Poor Bert
Eddie reckons Joe’s gone round to Bert Horrobin’s to gloat at the recent news Keith is a firestarter.
[Eddie] “Yet another jailbird in that family.”
[Clarrie] “People in glass houses, Eddie …”
Quite.
Eddie’s a PR genius
And I mean that quite sincerely.
He’s ever so keen Clarrie reads The Echo.
[Clarrie] “When’s there anything remotely interesting in the Borchester Echo?”
Eddie is most insistent there is.
When Clarrie later reads The Echo while at work at Bridge Farm, she’s stunned to hysterics (in a laughing way, not a crying one).
[Pat] “ ‘A close shave with the beats of Ambridge’ … what’s Eddie got there?”
[Clarrie] “It’s one of his statues.”
Seems Eddie got an article about his brush with the beast.
It’s his and Joe’s plan to say that the wild boar they hit was only:
[Clarrie] “Fleeing in terror from a horrifying mutant creature."
But that’s not all.
In the article, Eddie’s described as:
[Clarrie] “A sculpture and ethnic artist.”
(that’s when she really starts laughing)
He talks about his studio (their shed, Clarrie reckons). And that he was inspired to make “£D representations of the creature”. Which just so happens to be for sale …
[Clarrie] “It was my duty as an artist to give people the chance to own a piece of Borsetshire history.”
[Pat] “Who’ve got to give him credit for trying.”
But Clarrie’s still focused on the wild boar meat. As I also wondered, she asked Pat if road kill can be sold.
Pat’s off to investigate.
Eddie buys a freezer
It’s rusty, but it works. Allegedly.
Eddie’s bought it to store the wild boar meat.
[Eddie] “You wanted it shot”
[Clarrie] “I wanted it buried in the ground!”
Then there’s the problem of where to put it.
Eddie reckons the shed. But where will the ferret cage go? (wonders Clarrie)
On the fridge. (reckons Eddie)
More worrying for Clarrie is that Eddie seems to have plans for that meat (again). He hasn’t dropped the idea that he could be making money from it.
Brian nobbles Ian
Brian tells Ian that Home Farm won the arable contract.
[Brian] “So, we need to find a way forward with staffing.”
[Ian] “Without Adam, you mean.”
[Brian] “Well I hope not Ian … Now we know where we are, I’m hoping you can change his mind … Well I know he and I have had our differences, but if Home Farm is anything, it’s a family business. And Adam’s been a major part of that since he came back from Africa, I don’t want to see him throw away everything we’ve built up together.”
[Ian] “Is that so?”
[Brian] “Of course!”
[Ian] “Well, you have a funny way of showing it … do you know how badly you’ve handled this situation. Your attitude’s been like it or lump it the whole way through.”
[Brian] “Well I don’t think that’s fair.”
[Ian] “Is it any wonder he feels the way he does?”
[Brian] “I don’t think there’s any point in raking up the past, we are where we are. Maybe I could have handled things better … as far as Adam’s future is concerned, surely we’re on the same side?”
As Brian then points out to Ian, if Adam decides not to accept the inevitable at Home Farm, Ian might have to move.
[Ian] “Alright. I’ll see what I can do.”
Oh dear.
I don’t disagree with Ian trying to convince Adam to not leave Ambridge (as Adam really hasn’t thought of Ian at all throughout this … and leave Ambridge!?! Who would ever???).
But that Ian will be seen to be siding with Brian can only leady to friction.
Bridge Farm has good post
For once.
Seems their insurance company has paid out on all the claims. And no-one has permanent damage.
So, the E.coli is officially over.
[Pat] “I wouldn’t like to live like something through that again.”
[Clarrie] “If I could go back and change things.”
[Pat] “As far as I’m concerned, it’s all in the past, the future is what counts now.”
Brian’s a cheeky monkey
Brian was placing an advert by phone
I didn’t think that happened anymore. I thought you had to design your recruitment advert, then pay again for it to go through pre-flights.
Not at the Borchester Echo, it seems. Brian called up with a recruitment advert, reading the copy out over the phone.
How quaint!
Anyhoo – the advert is for a Farm Manager … which is Adam’s alleged role.
[Brian, still ready out his copy] “This is a great opportunity, for an experienced manager, who is used to taking initiative …”
(aye, as long as your initiative fits in with Brian’s 5 year plan!)
[Brian, still ready out his copy] “Home Farm has a proven track record as an equal opportunities employer.”
Pfffft!
What a nerve!
Ian and Adam have a barney
Adam’s telling Ian how much he enjoys being around Pavel.
[Adam] “Really inspiring to work with someone who’s still got all their ideals intact.”
He reckons Poland’s got farming right. Pavel’s active in a campaign to start industrial farming, which he reckons should have happened in Britain in the 70s and 80s.
[Adam] “It would be really good to spend some time out there.”
[Ian, shouting] “Oh for god sake, will you listen to yourself … Africa … Hungry, Poland … anywhere but Ambridge. So where does that leave me?”
Oops.
You know things are very, very bad when Ian raises his voice.
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