Saturday, 18 August 2012

We’re eavesdropping New Zealand: Thurs 16.08.12

Ambridge Extra Thursday 16th August 2012
  • The budget for the secret microphones must be HUGE
  • Ah. They’re an “outdoors” family
  • Who is Lance
  • Kenton goes climbing
  • Mel’s odd about Kenton

The budget for the secret microphones must be HUGE

South Africa, Penrith (!) and now New Zealand. The placing of the secret microphones must be taking up a fair chuck of our licence fees.

Ah well.

At least Kate isn’t involved this time.

Ah. They’re an “outdoors” family

Kenton and Jolene arrive at Mel (Kenton’s ex-wife), Aiden (Mel’s now husband) and Meriel’s (Kenton and Mel’s daughter).

They both sound knackered, but Meriel wants to go climbing.

Seems they run, and live in, an outdoor activity centre:

[Mel] “Developing the potential of young people through outdoor adventures.”

 So there’s a heady choice of rock climbing, bouldering, abseiling and kayaking.

Jolene doesn’t sound at all keen … Meriel insists (sounding like quite a spoilt wee madam).

[Mel] “Why don’t I give Jolene the guided tour, and you can commune with the coal face.”

Who is Lance

Don’t know.

But he seems important to Mel and Kenton.

Kenton goes climbing

Bless him. Kenton’s trying very hard to be cool and confident for Meriel, but this really isn’t his thing anymore.

His toes are numb from the climbing shoes. And:

[Kenton] “Uh oh, the dreaded climbing harness, gets you in your tender parts as I recall, like some kind of medieval instrument of torture!”

Meriel’s only 11, but is very pushy and boastful. But then, so is Kenton. The two of them have a bit of a face off about who knows more about tying knots.

Anyhoo, Kenton gets climbing, laughed at by Meriel (cruel laughter, not nice laughter).

By the time Jolene and Mel hear his shout of fear, he’s dangling, unable to get himself down.

Aiden wants him to sort himself out, as seemingly a “novice climber” needs to save himself.

[Kenton] “He ain't a novice  climber. He’s  a rather overweight middle aged man who’s going to do himself an injury if you leave him swinging in the wind like that … just do it!”

On his way back down, Kenton bumps his nose.

[Jolene] “You’re an idiot.”

[Meriel] “So both look so funny, Jolene with her black eye and now you with your bashed up nose!”

Ah well.

Welcome to new Zealand!

Mel’s odd about Kenton

As Mel takes Jolene on their walk (sounded like more of a hike through “rugged terrain”, which Jolene had to ask to turn back from as it was too much for her):

[Mel] “You're really not an outdoors kinda person, so how come you’ve ended up with Kenton?”

[Jolene] “He runs a bar, so do I, his idea of outdoor fun these days is off-roading in a 4x4.”

Mel agrees it’s been a while since she remembers him being an active chap. And she mentions how he’s put on weight.


Mel’s then audibly shocked at how long Jolene and Kenton have been together. Considering they got together not very long after Sid died.

[Mel] “Sorry, that’s what Kenton always said about me, no discretion, rushing in where Angela's fear to tread.”

Aye, you sound like a right madam so fair. Just like Meriel.

Mel then tells Jolene about her and Kenton’s history:

[Mel] “To be fair, I did only marry Kenton so he wouldn’t get thrown out of the county, which let’s face it, is not the best recipe for a happy union …”

[Jolene] “You must have loved him a bit, to have a kid with him?”

[Mel] “Course I did. He can be so charming when he puts his mind to it.”

But, it all went wrong when Mel and Kenton’s business went wrong. Well, “nightmare” was the word Mel used. Which is the complete opposite of how her and Aiden’s business is doing. It’s booming. And Aiden:

[Mel] “sees it through to the end, he won’t jump ship.”

She then talks about how unreliable Kenton was. That he ran away. That he (by the way) also doesn't know how to set boundaries for Meriel. Whereas Aiden can do all this, and more.

Later on:

[Jolene] “It’s been worrying me, what you said earlier, about Aidan wouldn’t just ship, but Kenton … he told me you threw him out. Something to do with money?”

[Mel] “Our business was on the rocks, the bank was threatening to foreclose, so yes I threw him out. But I thought he’d stick around to help clear up the mess … told me he was popping down to Sydney for a couple of days … next thing I hear he’s in Ambridge.”

Which left Mel with the bailiffs knocking on the door, and a kid to bring up solo.

Or so Mel says …

Sounds like Mel hasn’t quite let go of the past as yet. She still sounds  a bit miffed at Kenton.

1 comment:

Ruby said...

Kenton tying knots? you know it's going to end badly