- Was local radio ever this vindictive?
- Joe’s keeping an eye on Kathy
- Rosa’s stalking pays off
- Kathy wants a better match for Jamie
- The Loch Ness monster is too much for Eddie
- Jamie listens to AND agrees with Kathy
Was local radio ever this vindictive?
Eddie’s been asked to do an interview with Radio Borchester’s Wayne Folley about the Ambridge beast.
[Joe] “I’d watch out if I was you … that Wayne Folley … why he’s so keen to do this interview … he’s very clever Eddie, I wouldn’t trust him.”
I’m with Joe. Wayne didn’t exactly help Bridge Farm when he edited down his interview with Pat …
But Eddie reckons it’ll be fine. Wayne just knows a ‘good story’ . And it’ll be superb publicity for Eddie’s statues.
[Eddie] “Don’t you worry dad, I know how to handle the media.”
When Eddie gets to the radio station:
[Wayne] “Forget about the studio, just pretend we’re chatting over a jar, in that wonderful local of yours.”
Wayne asks Eddie to describe the beast.
Big eyes, big sharp teeth, hairy …
[Eddie] “It’s hard to describe on the radio, if you really want to know what it looks like, have a look on one of my statues …”
Seems they’re on special this week …
[Eddie] “I look on it at educating the public, like natural history, you know.”
[Wayne, looking at photos of Eddie statues] “It’s a curious creature … Looks to me almost like two or three animals put together …”
Wayne also has photos of Eddie’s other statues. It would seem the Beast is very similar to what it would look like if Eddie has put together his pig, rabbit and dog.
[Wayne] “Isn’t that a bit of an odd coincidence … come on Eddie, isn’t it true you’re pulling a fast one …We’ve all had a laugh, now why not take this chance to come clean … tell the good folk of Ambridge they’ve nothing to fear, that it’s safe to go back into the woods.”
Ouch!
Our local radio just cover flower and produce shows, school plays, amateur dramatic productions and the occasional piece about potholes!
Joe’s keeping an eye on Kathy
[Joe] “Kathy Perks was vacant this morning, thought perhaps I’d just drop in.”
That’s nice of Joe.
And no ulterior motive. Just being a good chap.
Rosa’s stalking pays off
Jamie calls Rosa, after she’s left a number of messages and been round to his house.
[Rosa] “Ah well, I didn’t want to crowd you, I was just worried.”
Jamie seems to appreciate the attention, and arranges to meet her down by the river.
Seems Jamie’s been leaving messages and texts for Natalie, but she’s not answering.
Rosa says she’s text Natalie as well, to let her know that she and Jamie really hadn’t been doing anything. But she still feels guilty.
[Rosa] “I mean, if we hadn’t been messing around …”
But Jamie thinks it would have happened anyway. Natalie was “high” that night as she was drunk, and had got such good results.
[Jamie] “It was all getting too intense anyway … I reckon we could both do with some time out. No ties, no complications, I’d be free to hang out with whoever I like.”
On not getting good enough results:
[Rosa] “It’s okay for people like Nat, and all those nerdy kids who do essays …Who needs them, I can still be rich and famous, and I can still be happy, can’t I?”
Well, yes. And no.
But it’s certainly not what Kathy will want for her previous one.
Kathy wants a better match for Jamie
Kathy’s talking to Joe about Jamie splitting up with Natalie.
She’s a bit sad about it. Natalie was a nice girl, with good grades …
[Kathy] “Whereas Rosa, I’m sure she’s a perfectly nice girl, lively, sociable … you’d hardly call her academic … which is absolutely fine, of course, absolutely no reason why not, it’s just, now Jamie’s saying he won’t be going back to college … she’s bound to be sending him all the wrong messages.”
The Loch Ness monster is too much for Eddie
When Eddie gets home, Joe can’t stop laughing at him.
[Eddie] “It was a setup, that Wayne was out to get me from the start!”
[Joe] “We all heard it Eddie, shame it was a pack of lies … you just don’t know when you stop … you walked right into that one.”
[Eddie] “I;m going down to the shed. I need a drink.”
After a few ciders, Eddie’s back to get laughed at again by Joe.
[Eddie] “Stuff Wayne Folley and his rubbish show. Why should I worry, nobody listens to it anyway!”
But they do.
Joe’s taken one call for a refund. And:
[Joe] “It was from the local ness monster, honest it sounded like the real thing to me, big and fierce and a Scottish accent an all. Asking if he and the beast could meet up for a drink!”
[Eddie] “That’s Jazzer. Oh I’m done for now, I’m finished, I can never show my face in the village again!”
As usual Eddie, it serves you right.
Jamie listens to AND agrees with Kathy
Blimey.
[Kathy] “If we don’t talk about important things, what am I here for?”
[Jamie] “Things that are important to you aren’t always the same for me.”
Though it sounded like Kathy and Jamie were about to have one of their arguments, it was all very calm and sensible.
They both must be growing up a bit …
Jamie doesn’t see the point in further education. He’ll end up with a student loan, and it won’t guarantee him a job.
[Jamie] “I don’t need it, I’ve got better things to do with my life.”
But Kathy reasons that the job market might get tougher and tougher, so Jamie should get every advantage.
[Kathy] “Do you really want to be in your mid 20s and still be doing causal labour … it may seem like the easy option.”
And then Jamie agreed.
Just like that.
He’s going back to College.
That was easy!
2 comments:
Actually we thought it was "Kathy Perks is *baking* tis morning" - which is more like the Joe we know and love, isn't it? :-)
Ah, you're more than likely quite right!
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