Saturday 29 December 2012

Clive’s being ever so helpful: Thurs 06.12.12 #ambridgeextra

Ambridge Extra Thursday 6th December 2012
  • Tracey drove home … drunk!
  • A Horrobin family Christmas … of sorts
  • “Mrs Jones is a full head not a half head”
  • Clive has a job and a girlfriend
  • Bert has a fall
  • Tracey’s making schoolgirl errors

Tracey drove home … drunk!


Tracey has a terrible hangover, after getting a tad tight once Keith was sentenced to 4 years.

Bert reckons she was as badly drunk as after Ivy’s funeral.

Worse still, Tracey had driven herself back from Jaxx. Drunk.

No need at all!

That’s Tracey Horrobin well and truly off of my Christmas card list.

I’m glad she had to go off and be sick as Bert waxed lyrical about fry ups and egg yolks.


A Horrobin family Christmas … of sorts

Bert’s looking forward to his Christmas lunch.

Turkey. Port. Duck fat for the tatties.

He suggests they should maybe go to Susan’s … she is the better cook …

But Tracey won’t hear of it. Not with Emma there.

[Tracey] “She grassed your son, my brother, to the Police … and my sister, Susan, supported her. Let them stew. We’ll have Donna here and show them some real family loyalty.”

Nae luck Bert!


“Mrs Jones is a full head not a half head”


I have no idea what that means, but it means something to Donna while at work in her salon.


Clive has a job and a girlfriend


Donna has a visitor at work.

Clive Horrobin.

Seems he’s doing well. He has a job in a DIT store. And has a girlfriend call Jackie who does “ a lovely spag bol”.

His only interest in seeing Donna is to buy her a sandwich.

[Clive] “Come on. You can tell me how you’re coping. Everyone need a bit of support now and then”

Clive is in a position where can help Donna because:

[Clive] “Things are going my way now because I made it happen.”

(hmmm)

Clive asks Donna how she’s holding up financially, to which she starts crying.

So Clive gives her £10.

[Clive] “If you ever need help Donna, any help at all, you just give me a call anytime.”

(double hmmmmm)


Bert has a fall

Sounded like his legs just went from him.

Doesn’t bode well.


Tracey’s making schoolgirl errors


Tracey’s woken up by a teacher called Sarah. Tracey’s got crushed crayons stuck to her face.

[Teacher Sarah] “You might want to take that bit of clay out of your hair.”

Oops.

Tracey’s at work at school, and has been caught napping. She claims she’s not very well.

But worse still:

[Teacher Sarah] “Tracey, I just got a whiff of, are you drunk. You’ve not got the flu at all, you’ve got a hangover!”

Sarah tells Tracey that they can’t have “alcohol related issues in the school room”.

[Teacher Sarah] “We’ve all got problems Tracey, it’s just that we should leave them at the door of the classroom.”

Sarah reckons that even as a dinner lady, Tracey has influence on the kids.

[Teacher Sarah] “No matter how lowly our contribution.”

(meow!)

And off Sarah went, to tattle on Tracey to the head teacher.
Not that I disagree with Sarah being appalled Tracey was stinky of booze at a school.

But Sarah does sound like a bit of a snooty b*tch.

Just what Tracey needs in her life right now.

2 comments:

caroline_venezia said...

Again thanks very much, Inga - we weren't aware Ambridge Extra was back on. Explains a lot! Worrying about Bert, though.

Re “Mrs Jones is a full head not a half head” (which I can relate to doubly as a Mrs Jones myself!) - it's a full or half head of highlights. My hairdresser in Edinburgh sometimes used to alternate between the two, as the underneath doesn't matter as much (and it saves money!).

Inga McVicar said...

My pleasure.

And huge thanks for explaining the head thing. Makes sense now! I'm a dry cut (in and out in 12 minutes) type of gal ;)