- Brian wants more
- “Farmers market are meant to be for food”
- Ruairi now sounds English
- Roadside selling again
- Eddie and Joe have no shame
- It’s all family sized packs
- Jim’s stirring a revolt
Brian wants more
One of Brian’s Super Dairy suppliers has pulled out. It’s Beech Farm, and it’s because the farmer’s wife is ill, and they’re thinking of selling.
That leaves them 410 hectares short of arable.
So, Brian wants to go back to plan A, which is using Home Farm’s land.
[Jennifer] “No you can’t. You know what that will mean for Adam!”
[Brian] “We’ve done our best to accommodate him up til now.”
[Jennifer] “He’ll be devastated. And I’ve got enough on my plate with Kate as it is.”
Jennifer has to leave for a Farmers’ Market, and begs Brian to not talk to Adam about it until she and Brian have discussed it further.
As if Brian cares what Jennifer thinks …
And right enough, by the time Jennifer got back home, Brian had spoken to Adam. But only to arrange an emergency meeting (says he).
[Jennifer] “You’re basically going back on every single thing you’ve agreed over the last year.”
[Brian] “He’s family, he’ll understand … you know families, when the chips are down, they stick together.”
*sigh*
“Farmers market are meant to be for food”
So says Joe Grundy.
[Eddie] “Local produce, that’s what they’re about.”
[Joe] “Exactly produce … produce has to be something you can eat.”
[Eddie] “Well it’s local anyroad, and crafted in a village 10 miles away.”
Eddie wants to try and sell his concrete garden ornaments at a Farmers’ Market, rather than keeping on trying car boots.
[Eddie] “Farmers markets are different. They’re stuffed with people who are loaded.”
[Joe] “And you reckon they’re going to buy one of them monsters, dream on … I’ll say this for you Eddie, when it comes to wishful thinking there’s nobody to touch you.”
[Eddie] “We’ve got to try out new markets if we’re going to get anywhere. That’s how Alan Sugar started, remember.”
*snort*
When they later on didn’t make any sales:
[Eddie] “They make out they got taste these people, it’s a load of cobblers.”
[Joe] “Tight as a tits’ nest, that lot.”
Ha! Eddie and Joe’s scams are quite irritating. I enjoy it when they fall flat.
Ruairi now sounds English
Phew!
Thank goodness he lost that very odd Irish accent. I normally love an Irish accent but his was, well, odd. I suppose it might have had something to do with living in Germany for a time. But, most decidedly odd.
He now sounds like a proper wee English public school boy. Which, I suppose, has to be an improvement.
Roadside selling again
Eddie and Joe were at the same Farmers’ Market as Jennifer and Ruairi.
Though they technically shouldn’t.
[Eddie] “To be fair, we’re not actually at the farmers market, we’ve just parked.”
[Jennifer] “You’re showing your ornaments.”
[Eddie] “We’re parked with the doors open.”
Cheeky.
Eddie and Joe have no shame
Joe asks Jennifer what she thinks about Eddie’s ornaments.
[Jennifer] “They’re different …”
[Joe] “Extinct art, that is.”
[Eddie] “Ethnic.”
(actually, I think both of them are wrong)
When Jennifer leaves, a statue of a dog catches Ruairi’s eye. He reckons it looks like Fly (their dog that died recently).
Rather than pat Ruairi on the head and send him back to Jennifer, Eddie and Joe do their sales patter on him.
So, Ruairi returns to Jennifer, and asks for an advance on his pocket money.
[Ruairi] “Eddie’s got a big dog. It’s amazing, he looks exactly like fly … I do Jennifer, and they’ve got it on special offer today … oh Jennifer!”
Jennifer says no.
Ruairi begs Eddie and Joe to hold it back for him.
Ruairi later begs Brian for an advance, but Brian tells him to earn it. So Ruairi takes all the meat packs back inside, and is going to ask the rest of the family for jobs to do.
Both Jennifer and Brian hope he forgets about the ornament when he does collect enough money.
The statue is hideous …
It’s all family sized packs
Though Jim eventually found a single portion of Jennifer’s meat, he had to wade his way through all the family packs.
That’s a bit of a marketing mistake by Home Farm.
Surely there’s more and more call for single portions these days?
Jim’s stirring a revolt
[Jim] “Did she alright to you … normal … for Lynda … She was down at the village pond this morning, looking as if she about to walk on it. Most peculiar.”
[Jennifer] “She’s lurking all over the place at the moment … opening herself up to energy pathways.”
[Jim] “Sticking her fingers in a plug socket might be easier.”
Jennifer mentions that Lynda is bussing folks in from Felpersham for the performance art. Jim’s horrified.
[Jim] “It’s not going to be for us, I gather … It sounds like the end of civilisation as we know it.”
That’s a bit strong, Jim. Performance Art may be annoying to some, but it’s hardly threatening.
Later in The Bull, Jim gets a head of steam going.
[Jim] “We’re got a serious problems on our hands here Bert … Lynda Snell wants to turn our community into a freak show … she probably call it performance art, but it amounts to the same thing … apparently, she’s planning to bus in hoards of city folk to observe us in our natural environment.”
[Bert] “The way I heard it she was getting actors in.”
[Jim] “But that’s not the point. They’ll be using our village as a stage set.”
[Bert] “Are there any locals in it?”
[Jim] “If our village is to become a theme park, we might as well get something out of it … Lynda Snell’s plan to turn our village into the Truman show …you know Lynda’s problem. She still thinks of Surrey as the home country and this as an outpost of Empire.”
[Joe] “Ah, whatever you decide prof, we’ll be right behind you.”
[Bert] “Unless she’s paying, obviously.”
What’s wrong with Jim?
Lynda most definitely not treat Ambridge as anything other than her home. Above everyone else, she’s the one who gets involved, gets things moving and makes a difference.
I’m not saying she always gets it right, but she has best intentions.
I’ll be quite annoyed with Jim is he ruins this for Lynda. It’ll be like them all laughing at Lynda’s Llama Promise Auction again …
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