Tuesday, 31 July 2012

The Community Games/ Village Fete 2012: Sun 29.07.12

The Archers Sunday 29th July 2012
  • Brian Aldridge, nobility
  • Debbie’s’ definitely Brian’s child
  • Lynda’s bereft
  • Is Christine Steve Redgrave or David Beckham?
  • Cider club training = cider
  • At least Jennifer appreciates culture
  • Lynda’s Best Sport

Brian Aldridge, nobility

Or so he’d have us think (*snort*)

It’s the day of the Community Games and Village fete, so Brian’s puffing himself up. As Chair of BL, he reckons he’s the special dignitary of the day. After all, BL gifted the field (scrap of land, not useful for anything else, in common parlance) for the Jubilee, which the games are now being held on.

[Brian] “Yes well, Noblesse oblige.”

Debbie’s’ definitely Brian’s child

Well, she’s not. But she’s certainly shaping herself in his image.

Brian reckons Debbie is being “practical” about Adam refusing to be on side about the super dairy. She agrees with Brian that they’ll just carry in regardless.

I used to like Debbie so much.

For shame.

Later on, Jennifer tells Brian it’s all his fault. It’s Brian’s attitude that’s pushing Adam away, alienating him.

[Brian] “That’s not fair, I’ve always treated him as my son, and as far as I’m concerned he still is. But he’s got to realise the farm can’t run according to his peculiar pangs of conscience.”

[Jennifer] “You see, that’s exactly what I’m talking about!”

Jennifer’s quite right.

Brian only really treats her kids as his kids when they agree with him …

Lynda’s bereft

With the performance art cancelled (due to artistic differences), Lynda is quite despondent.

[Lynda] “Ambridge has been denied a most unusual site specific dramatic feast … When I think of those hours of creative dialogue, all wasted.”

Ah, it sounded hideous, but I always feel sorry when Lynda’s plans go awry.

She does try hard. And it’s never just got her own sake.

Is Christine Steve Redgrave or David Beckham?

Well, Brian’s certainly no Steve Redgrave. So good thing he didn’t carry the torch in. He just lit it.

Molly Button then started off first in the torch relay. We didn’t get to hear who else took it round, but Christine brought it back (does that make Christine Steve Redgrave or David Beckham?!?)

[Kenton] “Our oldest torch bearer Christine Barford is approaching.”


I wouldn’t have called Christine old while she was holding a naked flame!

Cider club training = cider

[Eddie] “Cider club has been training on our special reserve. Breakfast of champions.”

[Alan] “Better than communion wine, you reckon?”

At least Jennifer appreciates culture

As Brian and Jennifer browse the paintings Lynda’s arrange for (what’s left) of the Cultural Olympiad:

[Brian] “They look like the paintings Ruairi does to me.”

[Jennifer] “Real sense of explosive power. It’s very athletic.”

[Brian] “If you say so.”

Lynda’s Best Sport

As the Community Games commence, it becomes obvious that Kenton hasn’t a clue what’s supposed to happen. He’s relying on Jolene, and his mum, to have done everything.

He didn’t know the caterpillar race was a relay.

That Jill and Mike had sorted out the obstacles for space hopper race.

As the games progress, Eddie and Alan have a shouting match. Alan urging on Shula, Eddie for Will.

[Eddie] “No chance, look at Will’s wriggle action!”

Seems Amy slowed up Alan’s team when she got her sleeping bag zip caught. So Alan has a lot of shouting to do …

[Lynda] “It’s very undignified, isn’t it, wriggling along the ground like that.”

[Jennifer] “Lynda, you’ve got to admit it’s very funny!”

Just then, Freddie “found his action” and started to help The Stables team to make an impact:

[Kenton] “This is a titanic battle of the bugs!”

When it’s Eddie’s turn to be a bug, the sleeping bag is a tad too small … they reckon it might have been the pint he had before the race.

As the race finishes, Kenton realises he hasn’t thought through what the medals will be. Or how they’ll be presented. He tried to shift blame … couldn’t get Jolene to sort it (she had to go back to The Bull) … couldn’t get Jill to step in (she was managing the book stall, single headedly, seemingly) … then turned to Lynda.

[Lynda] “Oh no, after all those snide remarks …”

[Kenton] “I’m begging you … it’ll be a disaster!”

[Lynda] “It’ll be a disaster of your own making.”

But, moments later, we hear Jennifer and Lynda getting busy with glitter. Robert’s fetching the blocks from the village hall. Jennifer’s also on bouquets.

And the winners are … The Stables team (Freddie, Alistair, Daniel, Shula).

But the medal for the “most sportsman like behaviour” … Lynda Snell!

[Brian] “Don’t say anything, just board your charity of fire”

Ah, don’t we like it when all ends well.

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