Monday, 16 July 2012

The main event: Lynda Vs Kenton: Tues 10.07.12

The Archers Tuesday 10th July 2012
  • Scruff’s a good boy
  • The battle of the Ambridge road side
  • Did Clive wonder if Matt was dodgy?
  • Lynda’s performance art will feature …
  • Kenton’s games will feature …

Scruff’s a good boy

Or he’d better be, if he knows what’s good for him.

[Lynda] “If Scruff ever asked to go walkies, I’d take him back to dog training!”

The battle of the Ambridge road side

Eddie’s “refreshed his offer”

Which Lynda interprets as:

[Lynda] “You can't keep flogging the same old junk, in other words.”

Eddie’s realised selling his usual garden ornament fare of gnomes, squirrels and the like to the same folks at the same car boot sales isn’t going to make his fortune.

So he’s started making new ornaments. Based on cats and dogs, including ones like Scruff, with a wee jolly phrase (hence the “go walkies”).

They sound hideous.

And Eddie also intends to sell them on the roadside. Near his house. Which also happens to be near Lynda’s house.

[Lynda] “I don’t want cars belonging to philistines! … For the good of the village, I think you’ll find the community will request you to keep them on your own property.”

From the sounds of it, Lynda needn’t worry about a convoy of cars queuing to buy Eddie’s ornaments:

[Kenton] “What is it, one of your early cats and dogs escaped from the Lab.?”

Did Clive wonder if Matt was dodgy?

Darrell’s heard that Clive had worked for Matt. He asks Susan if heard whether Clive had any doubts about Matt.

Susan had no ken.

From his lack of knowledge about the Horrobin family, sounds like Darrell is clueless too.

He actually goes on to prove just how clueless he is by being rather naïve to Matt.

[Matt] “How come you’re not all bright eyed and bushy tailed like you used to be?”

[Darrell] “It's Bernie ... I've been asking a few questions about him, and it turns out he's not entirely straight.”

Oh come on Darrell! Surely you must know that Matt knows?

Matt fobs Darrell off with the fact that the job is nearly done, so they won’t be needing Bernie again. That Darrell better stay put, as he won’t get more work with matt if he walks out on this one because of Bernie. And, how he’s heard Darrell’s daughter Anna now wanted piano lessons …

[Matt] “Families, eh, they do get used to a regular wage.”

Ah. There’s nothing like a bit of friendly blackmail to keep a chap motivated at work.

Lynda’s performance art will feature …

Product placement (Susan was right!), aka the Village Shop.

Though Kenton insists that if the shop features, The Bull should as well.

But Lynda claims the village shop is in it only because it’s near to the phone box.

[Lynda] “A meeting place, a melting pot of ideas.”

Seems the performance art is something about communication.

[Lynda] “The ultimate blend of form and content.”

Aha! Kenton reckons that also sounds like The Bull.

[Kenton] “The truths that comes out after a few pint if shires, the timeless conversations that take place over the bar, Eccles and his squawk.”

[Lynda] “Can’t you take this seriously! We can't involve Eccles. he won't stay still!”

(Eccles is The Bull’s peacock – the one who scares Rhys)

Susan makes a few suggestions of other “communication” points in the village.

The bridge over the Am. The Village Green. The Lawson-hope seat.

(actually, quite good suggestions. For Susan)

Lynda has a better idea (what a surprise!). The village finger pointer.

[Lynda] “Pointing us on all directions like ...”

[Kenton] “… the road to nowhere!”

Kenton then suggested that Lynda holds her finale in Ian and Adam’s hot tub.

[Kenton] “Listening for messages from the bubbles.”

Surprisingly, Lynda thinks Kenton might have just hit upon something quite interesting.

Cannae wait!

Kenton’s games will feature …

[Kenton] “Relay, with obstacles, on space hoppers.”

[Susan] “Well that sorts out the Village shop team. Kathy out, Sabrina Thwaite in.”

(eh? Why not Kathy? Surely it’d only be the blokes of the village who’d prefer to see Sabrina on a space hopper … very odd Susan would)

[Lynda] “It's exactly as I feared. The worst of all possible worlds, both silly and pandering to the fit and healthy.”

But Kenton reckons silly just means fun. Which is what his games will be, and Lynda’s performance art won’t.

[Lynda] “It sounds like a challenge to me!”

[Kenton] “Right, let the games commence.”

Ah. Very droll.

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