Saturday, 21 July 2012

The day of the youth cricket match*: Tues 17.07.12

(*apologies to all cricket fans. I'm guaranteed to have got some of the detail wrong!)

The Archers Tuesday 17th July 2012
  • Kenton’s aiding and abetting
  • Jamie’s being cocky …
  • … and is a “champion welly wanger.”
  • Rosa REALLY likes Jamie
  • That mini bus said it all
  • Elizabeth visits David
  • Jamie didn’t do well
  • Lucy didn’t do well
  • Jamie really is a shockingly bad sportsman
  • Why can’t women play cricket?

Kenton’s aiding and abetting

Quite literally.

He’s taken a bet off of Jamie for today’s cricket match between Ambridge’s girls (with boys in the team) against St Mags.


Jamie’s being cocky

[Natalie] “Let’s not make out it’s going to be easy … it wouldn’t look great, would it, being beaten by females.”

[Jamie, firmly] “It’s not going to happen … I’m just the best.”

… and is a “champion welly wanger.”

[Natalie] “I wouldn’t say that out loud!”

Natalie wants them to practise for the Fete games, and take it seriously.

Though Jamie is confident not only about the welly wanging. He also reckons the caterpillar race will be easy enough as well.

He once did ten laps at a party!

Rosa REALLY likes Jamie

She turns up at the cricket match.

[Natalie] “Oh no!”

[Jamie] “She’s come to support us, what’s the problem?”

Um, that Rosa is a bit of a stalker? And openly flirts with you in front of your girlfriend.

That mini bus said it all

Natalie was startled that St Mags even had their own mini bus.

The dye was cast …

Elizabeth visits David

[Elizabeth] “Hello David. How are you?”

What a shocker! Elizabeth visiting David. Blimey.

Elizabeth was horrified at the mess the fire had made. It was even hot enough to have bent solid steel poles.

David told Elizabeth that Keith has been taken in, but released.

[Elizabeth] “Not another Clive, surely?”

(mind Clive burnt down Christine and George’s – while Christine and Jill were in there. David saved them)

[David] “It’s the idea that there’s someone out there,. Deliberately trying to hurt my children … it’s that’s the effect,. What the difference. It’s exactly the same outcome.”

Elizabeth offers for Josh and Ben to stay at Lower Loxley. David appreciates but politely declines. He wants his family to stay together.

(not necessarily the best thing for him to say to Elizabeth, considering …).

[Elizabeth] “David, what your doing can’t be easy. There must be a part of you who wants to walk away … don’t give up. One thing I’ve found when terrible things happen it’s best to carry on”

[David] “It gets better over time?”

[Elizabeth] “So I’m told”

Looks like that cold front is defrosting.

Jamie didn’t do well

Natalie’s not impressed with Jamie’s turn on the pitch. She thinks he’s taking too many risks.

Rosa does not concur.

[Rosa] “He just goes out there and enjoys himself. That’ the way to play cricket … I only know there’s too many old plodders in the Ambridge cricket team. They should get fined for boring the audience.”

[Natalie] “Crowd. It’s called a  crowd … you’ve got to understand the game to appreciate it.”

After Jamie’s reckless does get him out:

[Natalie] “He only got a seven.”

[Rosa] “What a seven though!”

[Jamie] “She had her elbow bent … she never bowled it, she chucked it.”

[Natalie] “You played a stupid shot and misjudged it.”

So Jamie’s a bad loser, then. Wouldn’t have guessed that from his pre-match arrogance!

Lucy didn’t do well

I’ve no idea who Lucy is, but she went out on the first ball.

Jamie really is a shockingly bad sportsman

It was Natalie’s turn:

[Jamie] “Watch out for the blonder one. She’s got a very suspect  delivery.”

[Rosa] “I don’t know what’s the matter with everything. It’s only a bunch of schoolgirls.”

[Jamie] “Who don’t even know the laws of cricket!”

[Alistair] “Jamie, let’s be a bit more sporting about it, shall we?”

Sounds like Natalie didn’t last long either.

[Jamie] “57 all out, how did that happen?”

(is that a bad score then?)

[Natalie] “Their spinners are unplayable … they had me fooled every time.”

Its St Mags’ turn to bat next.

When they got to 55:

[Rosa] “I hate to say this, but they’re going to do it. Come on Jamie!”

Jamie bowls a “bouncer”. Which seemingly isn’t a very nice thing to do.

[Alistair] “It’s not considered very sporting, not in a  game like this.”

Next bowl, the St Mags lass hits a cracker. Which Alistair reckons serves him right.

And St Mags win!

[Jamie] “We were rubbish … I could have done a lot better if I'd been allowed to do my normal thing.”

[Natalie] “So you need to resort to intimidation just because you’re being beaten.”

[Jamie] “It’s trying to win, what’s wrong with that?”

[Rosa] “Nothing at all. It’s better than being a loser.”


Rosa may be good for Jamie’s ego, but he’d better tread carefully. Natalie doesn’t sound like a young lady to put up with any nonsense.

Why can’t women play cricket?

Despite losing, Natalie really enjoyed the match.

Knowing that it will be near impossible to get another match for the girls anytime soon, Natalie asks Alistair why the girls can’t be considered for the full Ambridge cricket team.

[Natalie] “Everyone just assumes it. The cricket team has to be male.”

Alistair agrees. He’s never been asked about women playing before. He’s going to raise it at their next AGM.

[Natalie] “Maybe it's time Ambridge cricket got itself into the 21st century.”

Well, I can think of a fair few male players (and female spectators) who won’t agree.

Especially Neil.

Imagine how he’ll feel to be dropped, then replaced by girls!

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