Saturday, 21 July 2012

Lilian’s so naughty: Thurs 19.07.12

The Archers Thursday 19th July 2012
  • Fete team selection hots up
  • Keith’s been arrested, Emma unmasked
  • Lilian loves winding up Jennifer
  • Keith’s been released

Fete team selection hots up

[Susan] “Your dad thinks we should open a  transfer window … that’s the problem, nothing premier about our team … there’s Sabrina, she’s reasonably athletic I suppose.”

[Emma] “She’s got all the kit anyway.”

[Susan] “But you look at the other people we’ve got to go on. Jim, Jill, Oliver Sterling, Christine. You can see what I’m getting at … if I could go on the transfer market and sign up our Christopher or your Ed.”

Which, considering there are no rules for the Fete games, Susan might as well do. And stop complaining.

Keith’s been arrested, Emma unmasked

Tracey bursts into the shop to tell Susan and Emma that the Police have been round again. They’re arrested him this time.

[Susan] “Sometimes the Police can be totally out of order.”

(aye, Susan would know!)

[Emma] “Well it is a serious crime, people could have died. George.”

[Susan] “But they shouldn’t pick on someone just because of their name.”

[Emma] “Mum, you don’t know if it was because of that!”

[Susan, sensing something is awry] “What do you mean?”

[Emma, sensing Susan sense something is awry] “Nothing.”

[Tracey] “No you don’t, go on.”

[Emma] “Where did he go when he left the bar that night … I wanna know, that’s all … and how did he injure his leg like that?”

[Tracey] “The hamster.”

[Emma] “Oh come on, even you aren’t stupid enough to believe that!”

[Tracey] “It was you, wasn't it!”

[Emma] “No.”

[Susan] “Emma, was it? … oh Emma!”

But the deed is done. They know it was Emma who told on Keith.

[Tracey] “Never mind what you thought you saw, you got it wrong.”

[Emma] “I don’t think so.”

[Tracey] “You must have done, because Keith was never there!”

Emma’s adamant it was Keith. After all, why would he have seemed to guilty at his daughter’s wedding.

[Tracey] “Comes to something when a bit of compassion is a sign of guilt … why are you doing this. Why do you want him put away? … Now that they’ve got a witness, they’ll hammer away at him until he breaks.”

[Emma] “Don’t be silly, it’s not Guantanamo bay.”

[Tracey] “Don’t you joke. They’ll keep on and on at him, and when they’ve broken him, they’ll put him away for years,. And it’ll be all your fault! … I’ll never forgive you Emma Grundy. Do you hear that!”

(Emma stormed away)

Lilian loves winding up Jennifer

And how!

Ruairi is doing a spot of weeding for Lilian, to earn money to buy a dog statue from Eddie.

[Lilian] “The first thing we’ve got to make sure is that you know the difference between a  weed and a plant.”

Ruairi does know the difference, and asks if he can get 10p a weed.

(sounds expensive to me!)

As Ruairi gets underway, Peggy pops round for coffee. She’s also been approached by Ruairi. He must be desperate to earn his money for something:

[Peggy] “Whatever it is, Jennifer heartily disapproves … asking me not to be over generous with him.”

[Lilian] “She probably thinks I’m so mean she doesn’t need to bother. I’m intrigued though. I shall make it my business to find out.”

When Ruairi is finished, he’s pulled 123 weeds. He tells Lilian and Peggy what he wants the money for. And that not all of his family agree it’s a super statue.

[Ruairi] “Jennifer doesn’t think so. She told dad it was hideous.”

[Lilian] “Well, we’ll have to see if we can help, won’t we grandma …I can’t think why Jenny didn’t like him!”

[Ruairi] “He’s brilliant!”

[Lilian, chuckling] “If Eddie made him, I’m sure he's a real work of art … If we say 123 at 20 pence each … I think we better adds a £5 bonus on top … well, you found that long lost trowel … what was Eddie quoting?”

Ruairi says £45, but he bargained him down to £35 (Brian’s told him always to bargain).

So, Lilian tells Ruairi to also oil her front gate. And she’ll round it up to £35.

[Lilian] “In the meantime, why don’t you phone Eddie and get tour order in … but first, I’d insist he install it in your garden,. On a  little plinth.”

[Peggy] “Lilian. You are naughty. That’s a fortune!”

[Lilian] “I know, but what price happiness, eh?”

[Peggy] “Poor Jennifer’s going to be in for a surprise.”

[Lilian] “You know, I’d give anything to be there when she sees it!”

*big Lilian roar of laughter*


Love it when Lilian plays rough!

Keith’s been released

Susan went round to see Emma at Rickyard.

Emma explains that she called the Police for her children. She again tells that it was Keith’s behaviour at the wedding which made her sure it was he who’d burnt down the Brookfield barn.

[Emma] “He was looking really guilty. And on top of that he had a limp … it all adds up.”

[Susan] “Maybe I’d have said something to Keith”

[Emma] “I don’t care, George and Keira, that’s what matters to me. And I thought you’d feel the same.”

Tracey bursts in (again) to say Keith has been released (though on Police bail). Emma reckons that means they Police have got their suspicions.

[Tracey] “Course they’ve got suspicions, he’s a Horrobin!”

Susan and Tracey assert that Emma’s go to remember Keith’s had his bad moments, but he’s nothing like Clive.

[Emma] “Keith’s just weak. If you asks me they’re as bad as each other>”

[Tracey] “Listen to Miss perfect, I don’t think. Quite happy to stitch up her own family, after she’s wrecked her own!”

(there was a big thump when Tracey said that. Must have been Emma thumping something or other, though surprised she didn’t thump Tracey!)

My word.

That’s a family argument and a half!

Still think it’s all a red herring, though. The more Emma says she’s sure, the less I believe her.

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