- Mike’s looking forward to a woodland management course
- Brenda’s a b*tch to Vicky
- Pavel admires Adam
- Lynda’s actors irritating the locals
- Mike’s an amateur husband
- Adam has 1054 hectares
- Poor Vicky
Mike’s looking forward to a woodland management course
Bless him.
He’ll get glad to get away from Jazzer, who is seemingly constantly whining about not being able to go to Edinburgh. Not that he’s been invited by Harry or Fallon.
[Mike] “You know Jazzer, when he gets something in his head, it’s hard to shift it … Two whole days on woodland management, bring it on!”
Brenda’s a b*tch to Vicky
Mike and Brenda are having a wee chinwag, when Vicky bursts in to reveal her new dress.
Mike slightly grunts at it.
[Vicky] “Oh, what would you do with him Brenda, talk about damning with faint phrase.”
[Brenda] “Well, to be honest, it is a tiny bit short isn’t it, a bit young …”
[Vicky] “I’m 46 in case you’d forgotten!”
[Brenda, being rather catty] “Yeah of course. If you like it, fine.”
[Vicky] “Well come on Mike,. You like it don’t you?”
[Mike] “If I’m honest, I have to say I don’t like it as much as the gold one …”
[Vicky] “What gold one? I’ve never had a gold dress in my entire life!”
[Brenda] “No dad. You’re thinking of mum’s.”
[Mike] “Oh, um, yeah perhaps I am. Sorry.”
(Brenda leaves)
[Vicky] “Oh great. Thanks Mike!”
[Brenda] “Well thank you very much. Just once, it would be nice if you could take my side when Brenda makes one of her bitchy comments.”
[Mike] “I don’t think she meant it to be bitchy.”
[Vicky] “Well what would you call it when she said I was too old?”
[Mike] “She was only thinking of you.”
[Vicky] “So, you don’t agree with her?”
[Mike] “Well not really, no.”
[Vicky, fuming] “Thanks Mike, I really appreciate that”
So Mike goes out for a pint.
How to make a bad situation worse!
Pavel admires Adam
That Pavel (one of the fruit pickers) is a bit odd.
Ian sounds like he really ‘likes’ him.
Now it would seem Pavel really ‘likes’ Adam.
Or, Pavel could just be that interested in farming.
Pavel had called Adam as one of the other pickers had backed the tractor into one of the poly tunnels, and pulled one of the loops out.
Pavel volunteers to help fix it, instead of going to the pictures. He’s even got the replacement hoops, sheets and tolls all ready for Adam.
[Pavel] “You work too hard, you know that, I only hope you are appreciated.”
As it gets later, though Adam wants to crack on, Pavel wants to relax and have a couple of beers.
[Pavel] “So come on, chill, it’ll all get done in the end.”
What is this Pavel all about?
Is he angling for a better job, or something else?
Lynda’s actors irritating the locals
And they haven’t even shown them their performance art as yet …
As Mike gets back in from the pub:
[Mike] “Alright love … it was okay, not very relaxing though … Lynda was in with that mad theatre lot. Had the place in uproar. Will Grundy was in, and when they heard he was a keeper, they thought they’d stage an impromptu shoot!”
This can only get increasing worse. For all.
Mike’s an amateur husband
Which is odd, as he’s had plenty of years to practice.
He’s left his wife fizzing, for a pint at the pub.
Gets back home:
[Mike] “What’s the matter love?”
(doh!)
Then he says that her dress has been really pretty, after all.
(doh!)
[Vicky] “Don’t patronise me Mike. It’s too young for me. Brenda thought so and you agreed.”
[Mike] “Come on, this isn’t like you.”
[Vicky] “It is now. It’s time I was acting me age. I wouldn’t want to embarrass you, looking ridiculous, trying to cling on to my youth with everyone sniggering behind me back, saying ‘poor old mike, who does she think she is?’ ”
[Mike] “You are down in the dumps.”
(no sh*t Sherlock!)
[Vicky] “Just facing some uncomfortable truths, that’s all.”
Mike then mentions that he noticed she has an appointment at the clinic (from their wall calendar). Vicky tells him it’s for a routine smear:
[Vicky] “While I’m there I’m going to face up to it, ask some advice about to change.”
[Mike] “You mean, what to wear?”
[Vicky] “Mike!”
[Mike] “Oh, um, right, eh …”
Later on, Mike doesn’t want to go on his (ever so super) woodland course. And leave Vicky like this.
[Vicky] “I think I better sit here quietly and drink my coco. That seems to be all I’m fit for … Suddenly you realise you don’t quite feel like the woman you see in the mirror.”
[Mike] “You don’t look any different to me.”
[Vicky, genuinely] “That’s nice of you.”
Adam has 1054 hectares
Blimey.
That’s a big ‘un!
Pavel reckons his problem is that Adam is a manager who doesn’t get to manage. The small detail gets in the way, making him inefficient.
Adam was not amused to hear a fruit picker calling him inefficient.
Not at all!
But, Pavel gets to keep his job. Adam just had another beer.
Pavel reckons Adam should get more people involved in the farm. Do shared farming. Even tenancy farming.
[Pavel] “You could do well in Poland. You've got a free mind, and I know people who would value that.”
Adam reckons he could be right.
So. Adam moves to Poland, or Africa?
Poor Vicky
As we left Ambridge tonight, we heard Vicky calling Lynda. It was quite late (Lynda was likely in bed). But Vicky needed to talk.
Poor Vicky. She may be a loud ‘un, but she’s not a bad ‘un.
2 comments:
Re: Brenda's a b*tch to Vicky: when several people say the same thing, does that not then become the truth?
True, but there's different ways of saying it. Brenda had no tact, and really didn't need to mention her mum in that context.
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