Tuesday, 16 July 2013

A deal too good to be true – Tues 16.07.13 #thearchers

Ambridge Extra Tuesday 16th July 2013
  • Brenda lands in Russia
  • Brenda gets lost going to the loo
  • Matt has a meeting completely starkers
  • Vitaly wants an investment …

Brenda lands in Russia

[Matt] “How was Copenhagen?”

[Brenda] “It’s got a nice airport.”

Brenda’s muchly impressed by the car Vitaly has sent. And that is has a chauffeur to take her bags.

But, she hasn’t got time to enjoy it. Matt wants to take her straight to a meeting.

Some holiday.

[Matt] “We need to give the impression this is all run of the mill … all you need to do is stand there and look pretty.”


Brenda gets lost going to the loo

At the meeting, Vitaly explains the project. It’s to be called Kensington Gardens.

[Vitaly] “With your help, we can make it perfect. Just like your Grange Spinney.”


All’s going well. Brenda’s even able to pitch in with her own ideas (which, actually, Matt didn’t want let alone need)

Brenda then goes to the toilet, but gets lost on the way back. Some nice bloke points her in the right direction.

I wasn’t sure why the secret microphones felt the need to keep rolling at that point … but it later turns out that the nice bloke is Vitaly’s dad.

Sure we’ll find out what’s what in due course.

Matt has a meeting completely starkers

Vitaly insists they go to a Banya to continue their meeting. Brenda’s shocked:

[Brenda] “A sauna doesn’t that seem a bit .. .well, it’s not professional.”

[Matt] “I’m in with big players now Brenda. Who knows where it might lead …”

Matt’s certainly doing as the Romans do.

Lucky for Brenda, her services are not required in the sauna.

In the sauna:

[Matt] “If we were back in England, we’d be wearing towels.”

Good god.

That’s an image I did not need!

Vitaly wants an investment …

Ah, here we go.

[Vitaly] “You mentioned, you have some money to invest. What size of investment was it?”

[Matt] “I’m not one to do things by half.”

[Vitaly] “I can tell.”

(they were still in the sauna at that point … *shudder*)

Seems Vitaly has land outside St Petersburg, which he’s going to turn into an electronics factory.

[Vitaly] “There is no risk, but I am thinking I can make you part of this deal.”

Then, Matt can also join in Vitaly’s projects in England. For the first project, Vitaly reckons Matt will get a 50% to 75% return.

[Vitaly] “It’s why we meet here, so we have nothing to hide.”


Vitaly tells Matt he’ll need his money by Thursday.

[Matt] “Phew! It is getting hot.”

Come on Matt!

This is beyond dodgy.

But he seems to have been blinded by Vitaly’s supposed wealth. He wakes up Brenda in a whirl of excitement.

[Brenda] “And the words too good to be true didn’t spring to mind?”

She’s quite right. First, the offer of consultancy work was odd. Now, she can’t believe Matt’s even remotely considering investing:

[Brenda] “In a guy you just happened to bump into on holiday.”

BUT Matt’s not listening. He wants to invest the money he has hidden away offshore, which can’t be used in the UK anyway.

[Brenda] “Why do have to do this? You’ve got Amside.”

Matt admits that Lilian doesn’t know just how much money he has offshore. And he seems determined to make more of it on his own.

[Brenda] “You’re thinking of not coming back. You're going to leave Lilian, aren’t you Matt?”

[Matt] “Looks that way, dunnit.”

Oh dear.

This obviously isn’t going to end well.

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