- The bagpipes, the bagpipes … those cursed bagpipes
- Reactions to the impending Jolene and Kenton marriage
- What’s a porridge spurtle?
- Eddie’s useless at tossing fence posts
- Clan Chiefs can work at a chipper, surely?
- “Never mix Brownies and air horns”
The bagpipes, the bagpipes … those cursed bagpipes
[Jim] “Some tunes lend themselves to the bagpipes. I Fought The Law does not.”
Shame.
I would have loved to hear Jazzer blowing out that wee ditty. I think the rest of Ambridge might have appreciated it as well, after Jazzer played Amazing Grace for the umpteenth time.
Reactions to the impending Jolene and Kenton marriage
Seems the whole Phil Archer clan is delighted.
[Kenton] “Hopefully, everyone will be.”
Assuming he meant Fallon – he need not have worried.
She’s thrilled.
[Fallon] “I’m thrilled you’re getting married. If I sat down and drew what I wanted, I couldn’t ask for a better step dad. So welcome to the family!”
(told you! Though why Fallon has to draw them out, like a wee child, I do not know)
What’s a porridge spurtle?
[Lynda] “I’m saving my pennies for a porridge spurtle.”
What’s one of those?
Here you go: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spurtle
Seems there’s even an Annual Golden Spurtle World Porridge-Making Championship.
How marvellous!
Eddie’s useless at tossing fence posts
(No tittering at the back!)
Jazzer is not impressed by the toss the fence post competition.
[Jazzer] “That’s a chopstick next to a caber.”
Though it being a chopstick didn’t help Eddie.
When he threw it, Jazzer measured it out:
[Jazzer] “That’s about quarter past seven and rolling over for a lie in!”
Clan Chiefs can work at a chipper, surely?
Seems Lynda was not impressed by Dougie – the Chieftain Jazzer scared up.
[Lynda] “I’m still not convinced he’s a genuine article … I’ve never seen a reference to the clan Mc …”
(we never got to hear which Mc Dougie is the chief of. An air horn kept drowning out any mention. Odd)
Kathy (she’s back!) thought she recognised him from somewhere.
Then she had it:
[Kathy] “A better Borset batter!”
He works down the chippy.
[Lynda] “He’s no more a clan chief than you or I. Simply some drinking buddy Jazzer’s roped in to fool us all!”
Lynda is livid. She tackles Jazzer (not literally, of course, That’d be demeaning)
[Jazzer] “Leading us a merry dance to ridicule and infamy … you're finished Jazzer, you’ll never be trusted in this village again!”
But.
Lynda was wrong.
Seems Jim knows that Dougie has traced his ancestry, and he is actually as close to being the chief of a clan as one could hope to get (without being the official chief of a clan).
With that slight misunderstanding sorted, Lynda’s changed her tune quite dramatically.
She now wants to ask Dougie to recite at her next Burns Supper.
That surely can’t go well …
“Never mix Brownies and air horns”
So says Jim.
Which he got on the Button.
(it was a remark about Tilly Button. Geddit!)
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