- Ambridge lost to Loxley Barrett
- Alan asks Shula if she uses Twitter
- Not the roses, Alan
- Shula reckons it’ll all be fine
- Those poor cows
- That horrible Des got 8 years
Ambridge lost to Loxley Barrett
Heavily. It seems.
Next they have Wimberton.
Might help if they practised once in a while. They haven’t had ‘nets’ in an age.
Alan asks Shula if she uses Twitter
What what what?
Has he taken leave of his senses?
Of course Shula doesn’t use Twitter!
[Alan] “Oh Shula, have you been following Tom Archer ion Twitter.”
[Shula] “I wouldn’t know where to start.”
[Alan] “Hope it does whatever he wants it to do.”
[Shula] “Increase sales, I would think.”
(Silly, silly man)
Not the roses, Alan
It’s Alan and Usha’s 5th anniversary tonight.
[Shula] “Oh Alan, you can give her flowers from the village shop. It’s one step up from a garage!”
[Alan] “Is it?.”
(aye, is it? I would have thought the village shop would have quality flowers)
Shula tells him to go to a garden centre.
But later, we hear what sounds like Alan clipping something from somewhere …
Alan’s cooked veggie moussaka, and got sparkling elderflower in for a wee celebration meal.
[Usha] “You should have bought yourself some champagne.”
[Alan] “I’ll suffer along with you, as I’ve suffered over the last 5 years …”
(he was, of course, jesting)
They momentarily touch on the doubts that some parishioners had about their marriage:
[Usha] “One in particular.”
(ahem … SHULA …)
[Alan] “Well, love conquers all in the end.”
And he reckons the last 5 years have been the best of his life.
(I’m sure Amy would be delighted to hear that she doesn’t figure in that)
Alan then gets funny about Usha wanting to open the back door to let some air in. He reckons he just doesn’t want the candle to get blown out. He later goes out there to get something.
[Alan] “Usha Franks …”
[Usha] “Will you marry me … you sound so serious!”
He gifts her a bunch of roses. From the garden.
[Usha] “The garden!”
[Alan] “Home grown is special …”
[Usha] “My beautiful roses, for the Flower and Produce show!!! … How could you!”
What a daft lad that Alan can be.
Even we knew Usha was entering those roses.
Shula reckons it’ll all be fine
[Shula] “It’s awful to see people you've got to know driven so low.”
Darrell’s back in at the Elms, as is Shula (though for different reasons, obviously).
Shula’s brought Darrell some batteries for his portable radio, and biscuits.
(what it is with Ambridge residents and biscuits? Ruth also bought a stack of them for Pip. Are they absolutely crucial to basic living?)
[Shula] “They were donated.”
[Darrell] “No. l I can’t accept them … I’m a bit strapped for cash just now.”
[Shula] “From one friend to another.”
Darrell tries to say no again, but Shula insists. And says he can pay her back when he’s back on his feet. He grudgingly accepts.
[Darrell] “I’m a craftsman. Though I do wonder who will employ me in this state, even if there was something going.”
[Shula] “This isn’t the end of the road Darrell. I’m sure things will pick up.”
[Darrell] “We’ll see …”
[Shula] “Circumstances change.”
[Darrell] “That’s a mantra at Job Centre Plus … let me know if your circumstances change …”
Seems Darrell spends all the little money he does have on food and his kids. Though he isn’t even seeing his kids – he just drops the money through the letterbox. He couldn’t stand them to see him so low.
Silly Shula tries to liken that to her Daniel being away, and how she misses him. Silly, silly Shula.
The one small bit of solace for Darrell is that there are plenty of rooms going at the shelter.
[Darrell] “People prefer sleeping outside if the weather’s okay.”
Though he admits he hates having to share. One of the chaps kept him up all night:
[Darrell] “He raves and mutters all night long. I never got a wink of sleep, I don’t feel safe.”
[Shula] “Well, he’s got mental health problems.”
(how’s that going to help Darrell get to sleep?)
Darrell now sees his time in Ambridge as “Golden”. He had his wife. Kids. A Job. And a home.
Now it’s all gone.
[Darrell] “Though my own stupidity.”
(well, yes. That’s spot on, Darrell)
Those poor cows
Brian’s cows finally arrive.
[Brian] “They lost some condition on route from Hungry. And they seem listless.”
Rob reckons a rest will see them right.
[Rob] “Tomorrow you’ll think they were born here.”
Poor, poor cows.
Martin pops by to see how BLs investment is going. He’s surprised that the shed is so cool (as in cold, rather than groovy). Rob explains it’s due to the slats, which allows breeze.
(it’s about the only air those cows will ever feel(
[Brian] “Cows don’t like extreme temperature, especially heat.”
[Martin] “I am the same.”
(what an odd man)
They’ll eventually have 1500 cows, being milked three times a day. Though Martin’s annoyed to hear they won’t be milked until the first calving, in a few months. He’s also a bit perturbed by the “funny smell” in the shed.
[Brian] “See what I’m up against on the Board Rob? They don’t know one end of a cow from the other.”
When later the cows are settled, and half are being milked, Brian’s smugly delighted. He reckons all the effort was worth it.
[Brian] “All so we can stand here, and watch this lot strolling along nonchalantly to be milked … Where are all the naysayers now?”
(regrouping, I would think)
That horrible Des got 8 years
So reports Shula to Darrell.
[Darrell] “Huh, well it’s not long enough.”
True.
But Darrell’s got some cheek.
She should have been banged up for knowing about that dog fighting ring.
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