Friday, 16 August 2013

Tom’s told about Dmitry – Fri 16.08.13 #thearchers

Pondering The Archers Friday 16th August 2013
  • Pat and Tony demand ethical
  • Pat and Kathy do culture
  • £3.50 lost off of every barrel
  • Four poppadums … steady on!
  • When is a chilli too hot?
  • Kathy isn’t entirely happy about the bestman
  • Kirsty is David Cameron’s kinda gal
  • Tom’s told that Brenda has a boyfriend
  • We don’t eavesdrop in on Rob and Helen

Pat and Tony demand ethical

For their pension fund. Though their financial adviser wanted them to widen their options.

(well, we wouldn’t expect anything less)

[Pat] “Money isn’t everything though. And as we told him, it’s futile to take money we’ve made from being environmentally responsible only to invest it in oil and minim companies.”

Once they’ve put their money somewhere nice, they’ve ‘only’ got £25,000 to put into the farm. Which is most definitely not enough for a decent new tractor.

Poor Tom.

Nothing is going his way.

But he’s accepting it with a grin (or was that a grimace?). And agrees that it’ll be good to be able to invest in the dairy.

Pat and Kathy do culture

They’re off to the open air Shakespeare.

Unfortunately for Kathy, Martin’s also there.

[Kathy] “What’s he doing at Richard III?”

Erm … watching the play?

Kathy tries to avoid him, but he spots her, and comes over.

He starts on with being rude to Pat:

[Martin] “Oh, yours is the farm that had ecoli.”

Then he starts going on about stock control.

On a Friday evening. At Shakespeare.

[Martin] “I don’t want excuses, I just want a report.”

For Monday morning. Which means Kathy will have to work yet another Sunday.

One almost suspects trying to make Kathy have a nervous breakdown is all part of Martin’s plan …

£3.50 lost off of every barrel

As inept as Kathy appears to be, at least she understands how bars work.

Martin hasn’t a clue. He doesn’t accept that after the lines have been cleaned, or a new barrel is put on, there’s unavoidable wastage.

[Martin] “So we’re £3.50 down every barrel.”

And as predicted, Martin insisting on smaller food portions has led to higher food wastage.

But he carries on regardless.

[Martin] “What worries me is the lackadaisical attitude which seems to be endemic round here.”

He’s fuming that the staff have been eating the food that’s about to go off. Even though the wastage is his fault:

[Martin] “Starts with a  chocolate fudge Sunday, next thing you now it’s dipping in the till.”

Kathy is actually trying to work the bar while he’s berating her. She loses concentration, and spills some gin.


Just pure bullying.

Four poppadums … steady on!

Tom’s really pushing the boat out for his curry with Kirsty.

He orders four (yes, four!) poppadums.

And bans talk of his ready meals.

(what else does one talk to Tom Archer about?)

When is a chilli too hot?

[Kirsty] “A customer came in today, and tried to return one of your chillies …it was too hot apparently …she put the other 4 in, including the seeds. She thought she would have to go to hospital.”

Seems Helen just gave her money back to keep her happy. Tom’s outraged! Though he agrees customers should get their complaints taken seriously:

[Tom] “Not the irreversibly stupid ones.”

(so the answer is … when a customer is too thick)

Kathy isn’t entirely happy about the bestman

Ah, I thought that sounded the case when Jamie told her he is to be Kenton’s bestman.

[Kathy] “I should be over this by now.”

[Pat] “And you are.”

[Kathy] “I suppose. I was just so angry with Kenton left because of what it did to Jamie. And now those two are close as ever, while I’m …”

[Pat] “I know. But you could look at it another way. It’s good Kenton kept their relationships going … you just have to hope he means it this time … not like when he proposed to you. I assume he was sober this time?”

[Kathy] “It just goes to prove that Kenton and I were never going to last. He obviously doesn’t have an issue marrying Jolene …”

Sounds like Kathy has far from healed.

Kirsty is David Cameron’s kinda gal

Tom was asking Kirsty if she and Patrick were an item. Kirsty reckons not – they just both enjoy volunteering at the Wildlife Trust.

(was Tom fishing? What about Damon?)

[Kirsty] “Just because doing something for nothing is beyond you!”

[Tom] “You're the big society in action.”

(actually, I suppose he is right)

Tom’s told that Brenda has a boyfriend

It fell to Kirsty to do the deed.

[Tom] “Russian? … well, that is news.”

[Kirsty] “I wish I hadn’t said anything now. I’ve spoilt for evening.”

[Tom] “Course you haven’t …good for Brenda … it was bound to happen sometime … genuinely Kirsty, I’m fine. Really.”

(really? One suspects not …)

[Tom] “I just hope Brenda’s happy, that’s all.”

(hmmmm ….)

We don’t eavesdrop in on Rob and Helen

This evening.

Thank god.

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