Monday 19 August 2013

Helen’s a liar – Mon 19.08.13 #thearchers

Pondering The Archers Monday 19th August 2013
  • Ray’s references should raise alarm bells
  • Lynda’s patted on the head, and sent off happy
  • Tom’s increasing production
  • Helen makes Henry cry
  • Helen is such a caring friend


Ray’s references should raise alarm bells


Caroline, being thorough, did get references in for Ray.

Worryingly, they also say that he did work there, and for how long.

Though Oliver reckons that’s just standard – anyone who has ever provided (or got) a reference knows that can mean he was rubbish. Though one isn’t allowed to be negative in a reference, one can infer that the worker was utter pants by only stating the bare minimum.


[Oliver] “We know Ray now, that’s got to be better than any reference.”

Um … no Oliver. You are totally and utterly wrong.


Lynda’s patted on the head, and sent off happy


Lynda finally asks Caroline about how that she’s heard they’re off on holiday, so who will be managing the hotel.

(Lynda seemed to ask everyone in Ambridge yesterday, all expect those who may actually know something)

[Oliver] “Caroline, shall I tell her or will you?”

They seem to do it together.

Lynda’s at first surprised (well, annoyed) that they felt they had to bring an outsider in. But Caroline reassures that it’s not a reflection on any of the current staff:

[Caroline] “I didn’t think it was fair to put you, or another member of staff, under such pressure.”

(big Lynda *sniff* from Lynda)

[Lynda] “It’s not my place to tell you how to run your hotel … In future, it might be better to inform the staff before they come to you. I think we’re safe in saying we’re all very loyal Caroline, you wouldn’t want anyone to feel they’d been overlooked.”

[Caroline] “No absolutely. I’ll bear that in mind.”

Caroline spots that Lynda might need more ego massaging. So, she praises her work. And gives her a bonus.
(which is odd, considering last week it seemed Grey Gables was on its knees)

[Caroline] “Grey Gables couldn’t function as smoothly as it does without you.”

[Lynda] “It would have been nice to be considered.”

Caroline lies and says she did consider Lynda to look after the hotel while they’re away. But, reckoned it was too big an ask for one person.

[Caroline] “That’s why Ray is going to need your help … I’m relying on you to make sure there aren’t any hitches.”

[Lynda] “Well, I suppose I am familiar with directing people, even though I’m not the one who takes the bow … Now you've explained it properly, I’m sure I can whip him into shape.”

For an intelligent woman, Lynda really does fall for some utter rubbish sometimes …


Tom’s increasing production


Seems Bellinghams sales are up, so they might increase their order of Tom’s ready meals.

Note that really important word: ‘might’.

Tom hasn’t noticed it. He’s already booked the kitchen to increase production.

Helen’s delighted. After all, it’s Rob’s advice Tom’s following:

[Helen] “It’s reassuring that someone like him thinks you’re doing the right thing. With all his experience …”

Dear god … does Tom ever learn when it comes to supermarkets?

And Helen seems to be thinking purely with her groin these days.

When Tony’s told about the increased production, he’s fuming.

[Tony] “Helen, for goodness sake, you should know the risk of holding onto too much stock!”

Tony reckons this is all Rob’s fault for making it all sound so simple.

[Tom] “Why does everyone keep talking about Rob Titchner!”

(well, because Tony and Pat hate him. Helen adores him. And Rob just won’t leave Bridge Farm be)

[Tom] “Dad, the meals are frozen aren’t they, and I can’t build my business if I amn't ready for it. Have some trust in me.”

[Pat] “Just typical, brought up in privilege, Rob hasn’t the first clue what it’s like with the rest of us.”

Helen stands up for Rob, saying that his family worked a farm.

[Pat] “His family’s farm very different from ours, he might not fully appreciate the constraints on us.”

[Tony] “You know him far better than us.”

(and how!)


Helen makes Henry cry


Seems Rob and Helen have started sexting as well as doing-the-do in reality.

Henry normally reads Helen’s texts but he’s not now allowed. Funnily enough.

And when he has her phone and it starts ringing, he starts crying when Helen grabs it off of him.

She doesn’t comfort him. Just leaves the room to take the call.

Oh dear.

Seems Henry isn’t the only man Helen needs in her life after all.


Helen is such a caring friend


Helen claims her friend Ruby has called to say that she’s having a rough time with her husband.

[Helen] “She was wondering if I could go over … she’s very upset.”

[Pat] “If your friend needs you, absolutely Helen. You should go.”

Oh-ho!

Helen answered a booty call, and is now lying to Pat.

She’s going to be in deep trouble soon enough …

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