Saturday, 26 January 2013

Alan has a really, really bad day: Thurs 24.01.13 #ambridgeextra

Ambridge Extra Thursday 24th January 2013
  • Drunk calling
  • Colonel Shawcross
  • Bert saves Alan
  • Usha’s furious

Drunk calling

Always a bad idea …

Seems Michael called Alan at well past 3am. Luckily, neither Alan nor Usha heard the phone go, so the answering machine did the honours.

Michael was rather drunk when he called. He kept apologising for calling (repeating sorry, sorry, sorry) and was admitting he wasn’t coping with life. Not at all.

It’s early in the morning, and Alan has a funeral to officiate later on, but he decides to go straight to Michael there and then.

[Alan] “I shouldn’t have left him like that. I knew he was in trouble.”

When Alan gets there, Michael has no memory of even calling him. But more than believes that he did.

[Michael] “I just had a truly terrible day yesterday.”

[Alan] “You’re not managing are you, at all?”

[Michael] “I couldn’t admit that I’d failed, failed completely and utterly. I just can’t get through to them, they all regard me some kind of interloper, and I find them difficult to like, let alone cherish, which as their priest I should. There’s non-one I can call a friend.”

So, Alan’s going to arrange for Michael to be signed off, and insist he come on a break to Ambridge.

Colonel Shawcross

Seems Colonel Shawcross (the chap who made the complaint about Michael on behalf of the Parish Council) lives right next door to Michael.


[Colonel Shawcross] “His behaviour has been causing some concern in the parish … large number of bottles going out with the rubbish. There has been some disquiet about financial matters.”

Oh dear.

A drunk vicar is one thing.

A thieving one is another.

Especially from the collection plates.

Alan promises to rush back to collect and take Michael away for a break, just as soon as he’s performed his funeral.

Bert saves Alan

(well, he nearly kills him as well, but I suppose it evened out)

Bert was waiting for (what sounded like) some pheasants to cross the road.

Then we could hear Alan’s motorbike come round the corner, and crash as it swerved to avoid Bert.

Bert rushes over, and immediately forces Alan’s helmet off him. Despite Alan’s protestations, and common knowledge about what you’re meant to do if you find a motorcyclist who has crashed.

Leave their helmet on!

Anyhoo – Bert wrestles Alan’s helmet off, he also manages to smack Alan in the face with it. Which leaves a  nasty cut, and probably also a shiner.

Bert then drives Alan to the funeral. Goes back to pick up his motorbike. And then collects Alan, to go and collect Michael, then back to Alan’s.

Seems Bert feels responsible for Alan …

Usha’s furious


Alan arrives home with a cut and bruised face.

A broken bike.

And Michael.

Driven by Bert.

When Michael thanks her for letting him stay for a few weeks, Usha stalks off.

Alan never made time to even ask her.


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