Saturday, 26 January 2013

We’re at the Vicarage: Tues 22.01.13 #ambridgeextra

Ambridge Extra Tuesday 22nd January 2013
  • The Ballad of Bob Pullen’s Last Ride
  • Alan! I’m not sure that’s appropriate!!!
  • Rachel the Arch Deacon has a problem
  • Amy wants to move out
  • Alan to leave St Stephen’s?
  • Michael’s bored of his flock

The Ballad of Bob Pullen’s Last Ride

Liverpool is mere folklore now.

[Amy] “So off they sets, the Berts and Joe, in Jim’s Reilly car
But alas, fate strikes a cruel blow before they’ve journeyed far
The Riley gets a puncture …
(the phone rings)
I can’t remember the next bit anyway.”

Seems Bert was retelling Bob’s ballad in The Bull last night. Joe came in halfway through:

[Amy] “He yells across at Bert, what do you think you’re playing at! I’m Bob’s Pullen executor, and all memorial verses has to be authorised by me …”

Amy’s trying to tell this all to Usha, but the vicarage phone keeps ringing. It’s not even 8am.

Usha even walks out as Amy’s talking.

[Amy] “It’s the way I tell ‘em.”

So – looks like the Ambridge Extra secret microphones are now pointed at Amy, Usha and Alan.

Wonder if they’ll have any secret clues to unravel.

Alan! I’m not sure that’s appropriate!!!

Alan’s had six funerals since Christmas.

[Alan] “When I hear someone’s died, I say a little prayer, Please God, let them be Roman Catholic.”

Can he really say (or even think) that?!?

That sort of talk gets you arrested in Scotland …

Rachel the Arch Deacon has a problem

And it isn’t something that she can say over the phone. She has to summon Alan to the Cathedral.

Seems there’s a chap called Michael McKinnon who Alan went to Theological College with, and is still a good friend.

This Michael is priest for Beckwell. His wife left him a wee while back, so he’d been signed off for a few months and then given the single parish of Beckwell to try and get back into the swing of life.

But, that hasn’t worked. One of the Parish Council, Colonel Aubrey Shawcross, has written a letter to the Arch Deacon expressing concerns about Michael.

So, to add to Alan’s to-do list, the Arch Deacon asks him to go and see Michael.

Which he does that very evening, even though Usha has cooked him a romantic meal.

Amy wants to move out

And she’s very nervous about how Usha, and especially Alan, will feel about it.

[Usha] “I’d miss you, of course, we both would.”

But, Usha also reckons Amy needs to move out when she’s ready to.

Though it sounded like Usha would badly miss her. Reading between the phone calls, it doesn’t seem like Alan’s much company at the moment.

Alan to leave St Stephen’s?

Alan has four parishes to minister to, and is finding it a tad hectic.

While he was meeting with the Arch Deacon, she mentioned that there will be a job coming up at The Cathedral. With days off.

He wouldn’t leave Ambridge. Would he?

Michael’s bored of his flock

Alan stops by his friend Michael’s. Though Michael’s not convinced Alan just happened to be passing by …

Alan tells Michael about the letter from Colonel Aubrey Shawcross. Michael knows him well:

[Michael] “He knows how things are supposed to be done. And that’s how the good folks of this Parish like it and want it to stay.”

But, Michael reckons he had lost his “cool” and created the situation that led to the letter.

[Michael] “Some of them, they’re so easy to upset, they’re so stuck, vulnerable I suppose, but so very unattractive with it.”

What did Michael do to upset his Parish?

He used common worship, shifted the candlesticks, faced them during the creed …

[Alan] “Why did you do all that? It’s not like to you to be …”

[Michael] “A bit of a prat?”

[Alan] “Insensitive.”

[Michael] “I think I’m just bored … bored of all of them. There’s a smallness, an inward looking …. Do you know, this is the first time I’ve said any of this out loud.”

[Alan] “They’re your congregation, your flock.”

[Michael] “They behave like sheep, my friend, sometimes they behave like a pack of hyenas.”

Seems Michael hasn’t got the heart for his ministering.

[Michael] “I just don’t know what to do, to say, anymore.”

[Alan] “I can’t quite get my head round … you’re talking about provoking your congregation … it shocks me … you’ve got such patience.”

Michael reckons he used to.

But, Alan’s not to worry. Michael reckons he’ll win his congregation round.

[Michael] “Instead of biting my hand, they’ll be eating out of it.”


Wonder where all this is going.

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