The Archers: Eddie’s off to the boot sale … Nathan’s fate is in Clarrie’s hands … Des Penlow
- I love it when Clarrie talks angry
- Meg hates the brush cutter
- I’m all for the traditional ones
- So a good time was had by all at the Dance
- Remembrance Sunday remembered well
- So the van story FINALLY ends
I love it when Clarrie talks angry
Eddie’s pushing Clarrie for an answer as to whether he can put on over on Nathan Booth.
Clarrie’s just as “disgusted” as Eddie about Nathan trying to fiddle the Race Evening – thereby taking money away from the British Legion.
Eddie reckoned Nathan’s antics are
“Like nicking the money out of a poppy tray”
Clarrie's first thought was to tell Alan, but Eddie didn’t want that as Nathan would know he’d grassed him up
(come on Eddie – you’re not in the playground now!)
After hearing Des Penlow and how much the British Legion had helped him, Clarrie came back from church full of righteous fury
“No matter how I turn it round I still don’t agree with people taking the law into their hand … but just this once, I’ll make an exception for Nathan booth … miserable little beggar … I hope you and Jazzer sting him hard!”
Oh Nathan.
Be very, very afraid.
Clarrie doesn’t get that angry very often, but when she does, it’s best to hide in the shed …
Meg hates the brush cutter
Aw, wee toots!
Still, at least she gets to run about in the open with Will (dogs don’t care what you’re like – just as long as you feed ‘em and walk ‘em).
Most dogs only ever get a chance to hate the hoover.
I’m all for the traditional ones
An advent calendar should indeed have “angel and glitter and all that”
Will and Nic’s cartoon characters alternative to Clarrie’s one for the kids just makes me want to go ‘pah’.
So a good time was had by all at the Dance
Will reckoned the Dance was fine because
“At least he had the sense to keep his button lipped for once”
But either way, the Ed and Will managed to spend a whole evening together without exchanging blows or loud insults.
Progress indeed.
Clarrie might be taking it too far by having the whole family round for Grundy Christmas, but Will doesn’t sound too keen.
He may try and put off making a decision, but I reckon that Nic won’t let him away with not doing as she and Clarrie wish.
They make a grand pair, those two. Nic’s even bought Clarrie that Pashmina she’d had her eye on (Pashmina, William, not shawl. You oik!).
Remembrance Sunday remembered well
Des Penwell, the ex-soldier giving a speech at St. Stephens for today’s Remembrance Day, did a very fine job.
That was really quite moving.
And a good reminder that it isn’t just past wars we need to remember. It also isn’t just about the scare you can see
“Damage up top – where it doesn’t always show”
Des talked about how he didn’t realise he needed help after leaving the army. When he did realise, he didn’t want to ask as it would be “soft”.
He’d hit rock bottom (lost his partner, child, home and hit the booze, when he met some good listeners – including our own Alan.
The British Legion then gave him a case worker, who helped him get his life back on track.
- [Clarrie] “I’ve never seen the Boys Brigade sit still so long … spellbound … gave them plenty to think about”
If you’d like to know more about the Royal British Legion – click here
So the van story FINALLY ends
Eh?
I’d totally forgotten about the hoo-ha surrounding Eddie needing a new van – Will lending him the money – Eddie being a tad worried about taking it – and me predicting it’d all end in tears.
Mais non!
We hear nothing for months, and today Eddie makes his final repayment to Will.
I must have been so worried that I block any other previous mention of it from my mind …
The Archers: Will and Ed on a night out together … Eddie’s being sneaky
- Nic and Will are looking dapper
- Eddie wants the coast to be clear
- All because Pip didn’t check the size of TCB
- Didn’t Nic want a nice night out?
- It was Jade, actually
- First rule of pregnancy
- I was wrong about Matthew
- Now Eddie’s cutting toenails!
Nic and Will are looking dapper
According to Eddie and Clarrie.
Nice has the “perfect” dress on, and Will has a new red bow tie.
[Will] “Well, you can’t be too stuffy”
Of course, Eddie can’t help winding up Will
[Eddie] “What about you William? Playing the maracas – are you part of the band?”
Clarrie, as usual, is all too aware of what her boys could get up to, and tries to advise Will:
[Clarrie] “It doesn’t matter who else is there Will, you just relax and enjoy”
“If they keep themselves to themselves, they’ll be alright”
Eddie wants the coast to be clear
Joe’s just mucked out Bartleby, is in the bath, then is off out to The Bull to play cribbage with Bert.
Clarrie’s tackling a mountain of ironing:
[Ed] “Are you doing that whole basket of ironing now?”
[Clarrie] “No, the queen of the fairies is taking over in 5 minutes … what do you think?”
(I can’t do Clarrie any justice on the above quote – it has to be listened to in order to understand it as a proper *snort* moment)
Eddie then tries to persuade Clarrie that she should take a dish back to Kathy, right now, because he “doesn’t want getting a name as bad neighbours”
which, quite unbelievably, seemed to work. Off our Clarrie pops …
… until she pops right back in again, catching Eddie in the act of going through Joe’s pockets.
[Clarrie] “Give me that!”
[Eddie] “It’s nothing”
[Clarrie] “I’ll be the judge”
(when she realises it’s to do with the Race Evening)
[Clarrie] How can you stoop so low … taking advantage of the British Legion”
[Eddie] “It isn’t what you’re thinking at all”
Oh dear. Two minutes into his and Jazzer’s cunning plan to get one up on Nathan Booth, Eddie’s already mucked it up.
What a surprise!
All because Pip didn’t check the size of TCB
TCB is the band playing at the YFC Ball
(TCB seemingly stands for Taking Care of Business (Elvis Presley) and the Tommy Crocker Band – as the saxophone player is the grandson of Tommy Crocker, who used to play at Grey Gables and was one of Jack’s favourite bands … so I’m told).
But Pip didn’t check how many were in the band, so now her table plan is completely defunct.
It sounds like she was able to find a spot for everyone (I bloomin’ well hope so – it would be great value as a dinner dance if you couldn’t actually sit down for dinner).
And Emma reckons:
“It just makes it cosier being bunched up”
But Emma didn’t think that through.
It all depends on who you’re actually having to bunch up with.
Didn’t Nic want a nice night out?
While I applaud Nic’s efforts to try and get Ed and Will back to acting at least half-decent around each other, why do so on one of her very rare nights away from the kids and work?
As her and Will arrive, she decides that the best plan would be to plonk themselves down on the same table as Ed and Emma.
Even stranger still that the other three went along with Nic’s brilliant plan (albeit grudgingly). Surely one of them could have said ‘no’?
[Nic] “Won’t do the boys any harm, trying to be civilised with each other for once”
As the foursome settle down to their evening, Will gets in a round.
And manages not to shout at or punch Ed.
They all take to the dance floor, and still no shouting or punching.
Even Will and Emma have quite a civilised chat:
[Emma] “Will, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you myself (about the baby)”
[Will] “It’s okay … it doesn’t matter … George left his gloves on Tuesday”
Well that’s progress, even if Will had to quickly change the subject.
Things seem to start going downhill as the evening progresses, but there’s still no shouting or punching.
Just a sarcastic quip from Will as Ed retells Pip’s tale about Tommy Crocker.
As Emma and Nic bond over swollen ankles (not literally – Emma has them, Nic has the memory of them), Ed and Will start to argue over who should be buying the next round.
But just when it looks like the bloodshed is about to commence, Nic steps in to say that it’s her and Emma’s round (even though she has to take a sub off of Will to buy it).
So the evening went off without a bang (just like The Bull’s bonfire night – well, there was bangs, but the overall impression of the evening was a bit of a ‘pfffff’).
But does this mean that Ed and Will will start being nice chaps to each other?
Will there be more double dating?
Cripes. It might be the calmest Christmas day in the Grundy for many a year.
It was Jade, actually
Oo-er Pip!
That was a bit snooty.
So Ed doesn’t know the difference between green and jade.
You should take the compliments where you can get them. Especially as it doesn’t like there’s much fruitiness afoot with Lucan.
I was wrong about Matthew
Izzy seemingly didn’t look happy with Matthew from the start.
And Pip later reports that Izzy has:
“Given up on Matthew … he grows an extra pair of hands with every drink”
Oh well. I wonder if Izzy still had “boring” Gary to fall back on.
First rule of pregnancy
Is to find out where the rules are.
Wonder if Helen is aware of that one amongst her lentils, exercise and calorie counting.
Now Eddie’s cutting toenails!
But it wasn’t as gross as Clarrie cutting Joe’s.
Eddie was tending to one of his ferrets (Brooklyn)
[Clarrie] “You spend more time grooming your ferrets than yourself”
As Brooklyn tries to muck about with Clarrie’s washing, I was left wondering is a ferret really does make those sort of noises …
The Archers: Sabrina is being Sabrina … Nic and Clarrie go shopping … Harry is still trying to persuade Jazzer … Tony gets it from all sides
- “Does anyone have as much front as Sabrina?”
- Belly strapping a cow
- Harry “hasn’t got the measure of Jazzer”
- Does Nic even believe herself?
- Eddie – take Clarrie out!
- Fully condensing heat recovery unit
- Taking it to extremes
- “What have I done to offend you all?”
“Does anyone have as much front as Sabrina?”
I reckon the men of Ambridge would be hard pushed to think of anyone else to beat Sabrina.
Nic and Clarrie bumped into Sabrina in a charity shop, while she was on her mobile feigning that she was in Underwoods Designer department.
Surely all good ladies nowadays have no shame in supporting their local charity, while picking up a bargain.
Don’t the rich become rich by being canny?
Belly strapping a cow
Ruth and Pip sure know how to bond.
They just belly strap a cow. Even though the poor cow just seemingly lifted her foot.
Taking her chance to corner Pip about her College considerations, Ruth seems to be pushing Pip to make decisions.
But it doesn’t look like Pip is in any rush. She has a cow to tend to, course work to finish and a ball to organise (there’s only 4 tickets left. Best rush before you have to resort to EBay).
Harry “hasn’t got the measure of Jazzer”
Utterly obsessed with making sure Lynda gets her full panto cast, Harry is still trying to persuade Jazzer to be Idle Jack.
But he has a cunning plan.
Instead of Idle Jack – Harry comes up with changing the character to
“Idle Jock … a comic Scotsman”
*sigh*
Harry thought that would be more “appealing” for Jazzer, but it isn’t just Jazzer than he doesn’t understand – it’s surely the entire race of Scots that he seems to lack an understanding of.
Jazzer expressed his lack of support for Harry’s idea
[Tom] “Never heard such fluent or imaginative swearing … sure half the words weren’t real, even in Glasgow”
Poor show Mr Mason.
Does Nic even believe herself?
Buying a nice sequin dress for the Young Farmers Association dinner dance, Nic’s also pondering trying to get Will to buy a new tie.
Seemingly his current favourite looks like a “comfort blanket” (tatty as well as well adored).
Nic and Clarrie then have a chat about the fact that both Nic/Will, and Ed/Emma, will be at the aforementioned dance.
If you ask me, both Clarrie and Nic at times seemed to be talking about completely different blokes.
[Clarrie]” Both of them thinking the other one is trying to get one up – and they’re not”
(oh yes they very much are – it’s currently – who can block a road for the longest, and who can rev their car engine the loudest!)
[Nic] “Will is prickly about the baby … that’s because of the way he found out”
(nope – it’s because he loathes Emma and Ed. And won’t Will be thinking that, if Ed and Emma weren’t so evil, the baby would have been his?)
[Nic] “He’ll be fine about … I won’t give him a choice”
(actually – Nic might just be able to make that happen. She’s already proven she didn’t take Will’s jealously lying down …)
[Nic] “He’ll be alright, you know, about Emma and Ed’s baby”
[Clarrie] “I hope so”
[Nic] “I think hearing about the baby touched an old nerve – perhaps he is still a bit raw – but he’ll come round”
[Clarrie] “Hmmm”
[Nic] “And there’s no real reason for him to be bothered, is there?”
[Clarrie] “No logical reason, no …You’re quite right Nic – babies is the best news a family can have”
Nic’s right that Will has “no real reason” to be so aggravated by Ed and Emma having a baby – but Clarrie’s spot on that it’s no actually a real reason anyway.
Will isn’t a bit raw – he’s positively fuming!
As I said before, this dance could be closer to an enactment of the prom in Carrie …
Eddie – take Clarrie out!
I’ve said this many times before, but Clarrie really does deserve some pampering. After all, amongst the many jobs, housework, sorting out Joe and Eddie’s scams AND cutting Joe’s toenails (the image of which still gives me nightmares), Clarrie really doesn’t get any ‘me’ time.
As she’s shopping with Nic, she spots a pashmina she really likes, but won’t but because:
“Eddie don’t take me to any posh dos”
As Clarrie nips off to the toilet (so that she can go “straight up to the turkeys when I get back”- does she never stop???), it looks like Nic bought it for her.
So Eddie – if Clarrie does have that pashmina, you can at least buy the lady dinner so that she can wear it.
And that’s an order!
Fully condensing heat recovery unit
Blimey – that Tom knows how to be interesting and sexy at the same time (!!!).
Tom’s gone off the idea of a pre-cooler, and now wants to buy a fully condensing heat recovery unit.
Much to Tony's consternation.
Tom does have to be applauded for his efforts to save ‘front end’ costs by saving on electricity, but he really doesn’t try to involve Tony. He just tells him what’s what.
And Tony’s right that Tom has a cheek wanting to buy new equipment when he gave Tony such had a hard time over tony buying mower conditioner.
But seemingly that’s not the same. Tom’s efforts are like making you don’t leave the light on in a room that isn’t being used there and then, rather than replacing equipment which just does the farm work.
Pat also backs Tom, as both a cost saving and a good moral stance (to reduce footprint).
I can’t help thinking that if everyone listened to Tony (rather than assuming he’s talking bollocks), and if they all sat down to look at ways to save costs as well as maintain their working equipment – wouldn’t they have a more productive farm anyway?
Taking it to extremes
Helen has now been spotted by Lynda at Grey Gables, this time at the crack of dawn waiting for the pool to open.
She’s seemingly swimming first thins and last thing every day.
As Tony pointed out, at least Helen does eat properly when she exercises, but surely she’s just burning off those calories.
This does not bode well at all.
“What have I done to offend you all?”
So after Pat and Tom ganging up on him about the farm, Tony also has to deal with Kathy coming over for dinner (again), and talk of Helen exercising too much.
Pat made him take his boots off, demanded he change his jeans and then also his top (all because of their dinner guest).
[Tony] “Once in a while is fine – she can be good company when she wants to be – but it’s impossible to relax properly when she’s here”
Maybe Tony should have made a point by taking his work jeans off to sit around in his pants. That’d put Kathy off!
[Tony] “What have I done to offend you all? Can’t even keep my comfortable clothes on – are you lot ever going to give me a moment’s peace?”
Doesn’t seem like it, Tony.
I think your problem is that you have a very headstrong family who don’t seem to think you know what you’re talking about. It also doesn’t help that you’re not exactly the best listener in the world.
The Archers: Will isn’t a fan of dog walkers … Will and Eddie argue ... Helen instructs Emma ... Lilian annoys Brian
- Do we think Will was polite?
- Helen cured Emma’s morning sickness
- Young Farmer’s Ball: The Bloodbath
- Helen won’t be going to The Ball
- Lilian surveys her domain
- “You pillock!” …. “LOSER!!!”
- “She means well”
- “I’m all in favour of cutting out the fags and drink … but .. well …”
Do we think Will was polite?
Brian didn’t quite believe it, and neither do I.
Does anyone think Will told those dog walkers to keep their dogs on the lead in a polite manner?
Course not.
Cast your mind back to last year’s shoot, when Will was quite rude to a customer.
He’s not one to use subtlety, and I doubt he’s ever been on a customer care course.
I think Brian’s onto an utter loss trying to teach Will about ‘word of mouth’.
With Brian placing such a huge emphasis on the forthcoming shoot (bookings are down, so they need to impress those who do spend their money with them), I think Will is about to create huge problems for himself.
What a short fuse …
Helen cured Emma’s morning sickness
Or so Emma thinks Helen thinks she did (!).
Poor Emma is being plagued by a rather enthusiastic and very knowledgeable Helen.
Emma shouldn’t be surprised that Helen doesn’t register the fact that Emma has already had a child. She was just as quick to dismiss Kathy and Pat’s advice.
Still, Helen does have her uses. With that cream, I’m sure Emma will be delighted to have fewer stress marks.
I did feel sorry for Emma as she got lost amongst all of Helen’s rather rigid plans for how her baby is going to be born.
Helen has a birth plan, involving low lighting, music and a water birth. Helen isn’t going to have painkillers. She’s going to get a Tens Machine (which is seemingly a Transcutaneous Electrical Nerve Stimulator. So there!).
Hiring a tens machine
Emma is just going to give birth.
[Emma] “Mind you, it’s worth keeping your options open …’til you’ve been there, you don’t know how painful it’s going to be”
[Helen] “I a high pain threshold”
Helen really doesn’t want to hear that her giving birth isn’t going to be anything other than as she’s perfectly planned.
“It often goes different to what you’d expect”
Oh dear Emma. It’s probably best that you don’t burst Helen’s deeply considered and constructed bubble.
Young Farmer’s Ball: The Bloodbath
Emma bought tickets from Pip for her and Ed.
On checking Clarrie to see if she can babysit, she finds out that Will and Nic have already nabbed her to babysit for them.
Because they’re both also going to the Ball.
Booze plus Will and Ed in the same room.
Oh dear. Oh dearie, dearie me.
Helen won’t be going to The Ball.
Helen almost ‘guffawed’ when Emma asked her if she was going:
“No … not me!”
If Emma really knew Helen, she’d know that Helen’s perfect night is one spent in her flat, with wine (well, not now), chocolate (hmm, not now) and a DVD (that’s got to still be okay?!?).
The last time Helen had a proper night out was when she met Leon. Poor lass has been well and truly scared back into her flat.
At least pushing the baby’s buggy will get her out (though I still think a dog would have sufficed).
Lilian surveys her domain
Brian’s getting irritated with Lilian. And that’s even before they have their first board meeting.
Taking Lilian round the site for the mart, he’s annoyed she wants to stop to take pictures. Astounded she wants to use a Dictaphone. And a tad put out that she only wants the board on “neutral ground”.
Never mind Brian.
With Annabelle, Martin and Andrew also on the board, Lilian’s “darlings” are going to sound increasingly desperate.
“You pillock” …. “LOSER”
Ah. The Grundy boys are being as eloquent as ever.
This time, Will’s blocking the lane while he’s working. Ed needs to get by. Last time it was Ed blocking the lane. Will was trying to get by.
Will seems to have forgotten that he was an arse to Ed when his cows were on the road. And Ed has forgotten how furious he was with Will when he was being an arse when his cows were on the road.
[Will] “You pillock – I’ve got birds round here … I’m not going to stop what I’m doing cause of some idiot revving …have a bit of patience”
[Will, on Ed saying he was busy so had to get by] “Oh … well, inside I’m crying”
[Ed] “If you don’t move it, you will be crying!”
[Will] “Your cows make a right mess up here – clean up after them”
[Ed] “Are you feeling alright … LOSER!”
Ed than later said to Emma:
“It’s the expression it does … it gets me mad before he even opens his mouth”
Who was it said that blood is thicker than women?!?
“She means well”
And that’s the dichotomy that is our Ed Grundy.
He can generally find the good in folks, but absolutely not his own brother.
[Emma on Helen] “She really needs to chill out”
[Ed] “She means well”
[Emma] “I tried to tell her – but she’s got it all under control”
[Ed] “That baby won’t dare give her a hard time!”
And Ed also shows why Emma chose the right brother (in the end)
“The mother of my baby … you’d look gorgeous in an old feed sack”
Aw. Bless ya.
“I’m all in favour of cutting out the fags and drink … but .. well …”
Isn’t it fascinating when two extremes clash.
There’s Lilian managing to just about understand than an expectant mother shouldn’t smoke or drink (“there days”) – and in the other corner, it’s Helen doing step aerobics while pregnant.
Helen’s knee isn’t in great shape, due to a fall she took during one of her many exercise routines.
Lilian’s right to be a bit concerned.
There’s being fit and healthy, and there’s being obsessive.
But where else would we expect Helen to sit on that spectrum.
The Archers: Pip’s stressed about ticket sales … Bert’s a ploughing champ … Vicky’s bull calves go off to mart … Emma tells Susan and David/Ruth …
- Only 42!
- 106 might have mastitis
- Bert might win the county championship
- “Nice looking bunch of calves”
- “Sorry. There’s a bit of tea on there.”
- Susan’s not happy
- Why was David and Ruth so nervous?
- And then there’s Will
Only 42!
Pip’s target for the YFC Ball next Friday is 70.
She’s sold 42 and has 10 more days.
Why the stress, young lady? That’s bags of time.
As Pip later sold more to some of the local residents, I was a bit confused about how couples buying tickets only meant one more ticket sold.
Maybe that’s the problem. Maybe Pip should be selling one ticket per person? Just a thought …
106 might have mastitis
Aw!
I do prefer Ed’s habit of naming his cows.
There’s something a bit too clinical about Ruth and David’s numbering system.
Bert might win the county championship
With Bert’s “arch rival Jimmy Prentice” retired from ploughing competitions, Bert’s seemingly in a great place to win the trophy.
Winning today’s competition, he’s now second in the County Championship.
Is there no end to that man’s talents?
“Nice looking bunch of calves”
And here endeth the lesson.
Mike and Ed load up Vicky’s bull calves for the mart, with a rather upset Vicky watching over them to say goodbye (without interfering … her words, not mine).
Mike reckoned:
“that they’re going off for junk food is a shame”
At mart, the calves made £100 each. Which isn’t great:
[Vicky] “I knew it’d be bad, but after all me hard work …”
(Sorry Vicky – your hard work???)
But it means Vicky only owes Ed £350.
Mike also gave Ed another £30 (as he thought Ed’s cost didn’t really cover his time and effort), with both he and Ed glad this whole whim of Vicky’s is done and dusted.
[Vicky] “I’ve learnt on thing from this – don’t want to see another calf ever again … I just don’t think I could bear it”
Fair enough. Apart from the fact you live in the country. And your husband does a milk round.
Avoiding calves might be more difficult that you’d think, Vicky. The trick is not to get involved with farming when you haven’t got the stomach for the more hard of realities.
“Sorry. There’s a bit of tea on there.”
Ed’s rushed through the numbers, and has got his invoice ready for Vicky.
It even has the free bonus of some food matter smeared onto it.
Lovely.
Coming in at £1,150, Mike reckons the price is more than fair – and then also manages to pass the invoice off as properly detailed.
I’d have expected Vicky to make more of a fuss about it being so rushed, but she was obviously quite upset about her “beautiful boys” going off the mart …
Susan’s not happy
When Emma tells Susan that she’s pregnant, Susan is utterly delighted.
However, she’s not so chuffed that Clarrie already knows.
As Emma explained, Clarrie did guess
[Clarrie] “Well I’ve seen more of you than Clarrie, and I’ve never noticed”
But then again, Susan has been busy with Chris’ marriage and the Village Shop.
“By next April you’ll be a grandmother again!”
All nice and happy.
What a difference to when Helen told her family …
Why was David and Ruth so nervous?
Did they think Josh was back to being Emma’s stalker again?
They just seemed very reticent when Emma asked to speak to them. David even tried to leg it!
Anyway, they’re also delighted that Emma’s pregnant, and are fine with her taking time off.
And then there’s Will
I’m relieved someone has finally mentioned Will in relation to Emma’s baby.
[Ed] “This time he can’t say it’s not mine”
Jokes aside, Ed, it’s going to be tricky.
Emma was all for going to see Will, and tell him. But only when Nic was there (poor thing. Could you imagine the mood Will would be in after Ed and Emma left!).
[Ed] “I shouldn’t worry about it. He will find out soon enough”
I suppose we can’t expect Ed to anything less than utterly unconcerned about how Will feels about Emma having a baby with Ed.
But it’s not about Will – it’s more about the utter fury he’ll unleash on anyone and everyone hear him.
Seriously – I hope Nic has a panic button ready.
