Pondering The Archers: easter

The dawn service at Lakey Hill

Was just mentioned today, rather than any of the secret microphones being there.

Brenda seemed quite impressed that Jill was going to it ‘at her age’ …

Brenda really holds Easter day sacred

Well, she does when it suits her.

She was woken early by a fox (hmmm), and Tom was up early anyway for milking.

He’s got a long day of work ahead of him (including checking whether the tatties need harrowing with Tony, with a brief break to go to The Bull with the family.

Brenda is not amused.

[Brenda] “It’s Easter day!”

Since when was that important to Brenda? Especially considering she doesn’t bother with silly things like the dawn service (!).

Lilian predicts a riot

Lilian stumbles across Fallon hiding Easter eggs.

[Lilian] “Well that will be a riot, I expect … a real riot, you know what kids are like when they’ve scented chocolate … well as long as you’ve got your whip ready”

[Fallon] “No, I’ve got something better than that”

[Lilian] “A taser?”

If the bedroom’s a rockin’ …

… it’ll not be due to adult relations when it’s James and Leonie are in there.

Fallon was surprised to see Lilian up and out so early.

[Lilian] “You’re right darling, I don’t normally see this time on a Sunday morning”

Seems James and Leonie woke her up.

[Lilian] “I just wish I’d put them in a bedroom further way”

[Fallon] “You mean you can hear?”

Yes Lilian can, but it’s not rudery she can hear. Just arguing.

Leonie hogs the bed covers, her and James had a barny about it (“quite heated” according to Lilian). Lilian really isn’t enjoying their visit.

[Lilian] “it’s been like walking on eggshells at times, James had been a patience of a saint …”

*cough*

When Lilian later comes into The Bull for lunch, James and Leonie have found something new to argue about.

What is the capital of Bolivia?

James (and Fallon) reckon La Paz.

Leonie reckoned Sucre.

Much to Lilian’s disgust:

[Lilian] “She was technically right”

(La Paz is the administrative capital; Sucre is the constitutional capital … though I did have to look that up)

When Fallon later swings into action as the Easter bunny to sort out crying kids fighting over eggs, Lilian complements her on her ability to resolve disputes. And wonders whether she can do the same with James and Leonie. During their lunch at The Bull, seems they were arguing about the wine.

Lilian is also wondering if they’ll survive their flyover tomorrow. Surely one will push the other out (minus parachute)

[Lilian] “I don’t envy James though, bring cooped up in a cockpit with that, irritating girl”

There’s nothing so blind as a mother’s love …

No tattie harrowing = walk up Lakey Hill

Brenda’s delight with Tony that he told Tom the tatties didn’t need harrowing yet. Which meant she and Tom had time to go on a walk to Lakey Hill.

But Brenda’s joy was short lived. Tom went back to work after they had lunch at the Bull.

She only wanted to watch a few films …

So – Tom working all the time – no mention of their engagement for (what feels like) years – Brenda ripe for splitting up with him and/or affair?

Fallon as the Easter bunny

Which was her cunning plan to deal with Lilian’s predicted riot:

[Fallon] “it’s great for keeping the kids under control”

[Tom] “Yeah, well known for their discipline, rabbits …”

[Fallon] “Well they don’t know what to make of me, so they tend to do what I say!”

Later on:

[Lilian] “Ooh darling, run rabbit run!”

Ed and Will in The Bull

Will and Nic are in one corner, Ed and Emma in the other.

But there’s no punch up. They stay well away from each other. It’s only poor George who gets stressed having to run back and forth between the two.

How times (and folks) change.

Big build up to the quiz night

But seems the secret microphones weren’t turned on.

It was last night, with Harry and Jazzer doing a “good job”.

Ach well.

Helen’s birthday next week

What excitement shall she have?

Tweets on Easter Sunday

Tom gets what Tony thinks is a text.

[Tom] “Actually, that’s a tweet”

[Tony] “Good lord, on Easter Sunday!”

Ah Tony – it’s always time for a tweet.

Seems the piggy footy is still of interest.

I still can’t find those pigs anywhere online …

Tony’s definitely feeling better

During lunch at The Bull, Tony tells everyone that he wants to do more.

Tom slips up and mentions that they have a “new system”. Which Tony immediately picks up on and asks how much it cost …

Later on, Tom shows Tony the new management system (and we have to listen in while he does – very dull indeed). Tony doesn’t seem overly impressed.

He also obviously wants to get back in the driving seat. He wants to take over the office again – ordering, and the like.

[Tom] “I wouldn’t want to lose sight of the whole picture”

Aha – but Tom has snookered himself. As Tony points out, the new management system means Tom can see the “whole picture” at the click of a button.

So best shove off and let Tony rule again, eh Tom.

As Tony later says to Pat:

[Tony] “It’s very clever. We were managing before, of course. Perfectly well. I do hope Tom realises. I do know what I’m doing around here”

Jim’s back to normal

Not that we heard it ourselves first hand, just that it was mentioned he was giving Kenton a hard time for working at The Bull, so neglecting Jaxx.

Jim must be delighted he doesn’t have to pay compliments now that lent is over.

Tuesday, 3 April 2012

Benjamin eats a hat 01.04.12

The Archers Sunday 1st April 2012

Benjamin was well behaved … then not
Why do the arks need moved again?
Jazzer damaged the bull bar
Janine is the new lady in Jazzer’s life
Christening a Forge
The truth about Amy and Carl
Jolene wants everyone in the car park
Harry had to check his cereal
Jennifer is still “popping in”

Benjamin was well behaved … then not

Benjamin and Shula are back at St Stephen’s for Palm Sunday.

(Benjamin is Shula’s donkey, generally only making an appearance in Ambridge at Palm Sunday).

He was very well behaved at first.

But later “went for” Pat Fletcher’s hat.

Seems she goes purple when she’s upset …

Shula later tells Jill that she thinks it was Pat Fletcher’s fault for flapping her hat about in the first place.

(mais non – if Pat Fletcher said no, she said no!)

By the by – we had the first mention of someone acknowledging that Shula has been in Ste Stephens more often than not recently. Jill said it was nice to see her back, though Shula did make mention that she’d be going elsewhere for the Easter walk.

Why do the arks need moved again?

Jazzer’s back (well, back near the secret microphones), and is moaning that the rain means all of the pigs need fresh straw.

AND the arks need moved. Again.

Is that normal pig management behaviour? To keep moving the arks?

Jazzer damaged the bull bar

Of Tom’s quad bike.

[Jazzer] “90% of it was doon to the gatepost, It was in the wrang place!”

[Tom] “Next to the gate!”

But not to worry. Though Tom wants Jazzer to do extra shifts for him, they’re not as punishment – Tom will pay extra. He’s just that busy.

[Jazzer] “Hold on, let me do my concerned face …”

Janine is the new lady in Jazzer’s life

[Jazzer] “I telt Janine, if she serves Tom Archer pork, we’re done before we’re started!”

Ooh.

I know Jazzer is a cheeky monkey, but not a clever thing to say to one’s boss.

Christening a Forge

Are what Chris and Alice intend to do on Thursday – the day that Chris gets ownership of the forge.

He’ll make his first piece of work in his own place, glass of wine, then a meal out.

Alice is keen for Amy to come. With Carl.

The truth about Amy and Carl

Alice is obsessed with wanting to meet Amy’s new love interest, Carl. Alan is also dropping hints.

So to get Alice off of her back, Amy explains all.

It’s quite simple, really. She just wants to take it slow with Carl.

[Amy] “This feels, special. I don’t want to wreck it”

[Alice] “You won’t. Carl is a very lucky guy. Have some faith in yourself”

But that’s exactly what Amy doesn’t have bags and bags of (faith in herself).

Amy tells Alice about her “mood” over Christmas because of what Alan had found out about her mum.

[Amy] “Dad found out that mum had been to prison … a secure children’s home … she stabbed someone when she was a kid … I’d always though mum was like, fantastic, then suddenly she wasn’t like that anymore … the worse thing was, the way I was feeling, it kinda made sense … I couldn’t work out why I do certain things, you know I have a really short temper … what I thought was that if mum could stab someone, maybe here’s some of that in me as well … so disgusted, I really did hate myself …”

Amy explains that her mum’s attack had happened because of constant racist abuse.

[Amy] “Just because I get angry sometimes, doesn’t mean I’m an awful person. Mum was a decent person, I shouldn't have doubted her … if someone like him thinks I’m okay, then I must be … I’m putting all that daft stuff behind me, but only one step at a time”

So – Amy wants to keep Carl away from her nearest and dearest because she’s still slightly worried she’s not a good ‘un?

I don’t see the sense in that.

Surely meeting the lovely Alan and co would only prove that she is?

Or does Amy just really (really) want to keep Carl away from Ambridge?

Jolene wants everyone in the car park

Steady on! I thought she was committed to our Kenton.

I jest.

Jolene wants everyone in The Bull’s car park for the flyover photo session by James and Leonie. Jazzer reckons she even wants them to make a shape like a bull’s horns.

[Jazzer] “that’s if that chinless wonder managed to point the camera the right way”

Though Tom reckons James is not an idiot:

[Jazzer] “Could pass for one in an emergency”

Jolene even wants her regulars to practise, as the photo could go down in history.

Hmmm.

Harry had to check his cereal

For booby traps.

[Jazzer] “Just cause it’s April the first, he assumes I’m gonnae act like some kind of kid!”

[Tom] “What did you actually do?”

[Jazzer] “Itching powder in his cycling shorts”

[Tom] “Excellent”

Jennifer is still “popping in”

To Alice and Chris’.

And it’s still irritating Alice that she does so.

[Amy] “It’s nice that she likes spending time with you”

Alice reckons that it’s more to do with Jennifer wanting to get away from Brian while he’s so stressed and preoccupied with the Super Dairy planning meeting (two weeks away).

Monday, 25 April 2011

The Archers Sunday 24th April 2011: We all get to go to Monte Carlo!

click the title above, or the'read more' link below the bullet points, to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

And that’s just Jolene’s travel outfit!
Will will make George sick?
“Hard-core bee freaks”
“Egg crazy kids”
Nooooo – not the shower!!!
Ruth’s kind to Joe
David feels guilty
The shower hasn’t gone away …
“Here we go”

And that’s just Jolene’s travel outfit!

[Fallon] “Ooh la la!”

[Kenton] “Knock out … you look great. Perfect.”

And they’re off! But not before Jolene checks and rechecks everything with Fallon.

[Fallon] “Just let it go mum, we’ll be fine, don’t worry”

Will will make George sick?

Things are really coming to a head between Will and Emma.

She’s now accusing his Easter egg of potentially having the ability to make George sick.

Child. Easter Egg. Potential of being sick.

Fairly atypical, I’d have thought?

Anyway, Will is now angry with Emma, but he is a good(ish) dad to George.

He’s doing exactly what Clarrie reckoned Ed should be doing with George – spending more time with him one-on-one; doing things that the big kids can’t do, making him feel wanted and special.

He was close to flaming George’s hatred/rivalry of Keira by saying that she was too naff to be able to hunt for Easter eggs at The Bull (I do paraphrase!) – but he was also encouraging George to collect more than Jake or Mia.

So all healthy sibling competition. I suppose.

“Hard-core bee freaks”

I do adore it when Jill starts on about her bees. Even better when she’s getting ready for a new season. And wonderful that Josh is still interested.

They seemingly went to a bee conference type thing together, where Josh persuaded Jill to buy a new hive.

Though it has to be remembered that while Josh may be a nice young chap, spending time with his grandmum doing bee stuff, he is just about to hit the ‘Jamie’ phase:

[Josh] “Some of those hard-core bee freaks though … talk about weird! I mean, in a good way gran. And not you …”

“Egg crazy kids”

Blimey! George found 14 Easter eggs. 14! Makes you wonder if he managed to get the lion’s share, or if The Bull had spent all of its last few months profit on eggs.

[Fallon] “Egg crazy kids. One of them is bound to OD on chocolate”

(see – I said it must be fairly atypical)

Nooooo – not the shower!!!

Jolene and Kenton arrive in their Monte Carlo hotel, with Jolene very suitably impressed by the size of the bed and that they have a balcony, with a sea view.

Sounds lovely.

But I did break out in a cold sweat at the following exchange:

[Jolene] “A nice big shower an all …”

[Kenton] “Oh yeah. That’s good to know”

(ye gods! Jolene then decides to have a shower straight away, so she can freshen up and try her new shower gel … apparently).

[Kenton] “Maybe I’ll dig mine out too. Would be good to freshen up”

No. Good god, no. Not again? Surely not again???

But Jolene then sends Kenton off to get a magazine she’d left at reception. She had a very weak excuse for it being so important he got it right now – something about her being halfway through a story. I never knew Take a Break (and the like) was actually readable.

To make absolute sure that Kenton has got the message, just before he heads out:

[Jolene] “I’ll see you in a bit then … after my shower”

Phew!

Ruth’s kind to Joe

I think Ruth is probably the only person left in Ambridge who is willing to give Joe the benefit of the doubt being outed (for bad mistletoe advice) at Gardeners’ Question Time.

[Ruth] “Was it really just a scam, or did he just get his facts wrong?”

Jill reckons the proof was in the Panel all advising that it was indeed the wrong time to propagate mistletoe seeds.

David feels guilty

Which is nothing new, since Nigel died, but he seems to be obsessing that anything which goes wrong at Brookfield is his fault.

Very true that he didn’t take care of Brookfield while Elizabeth needed him at Lower Loxley – and Ruth told him so many, many times – but wasn’t he meant to be moving on?

Must be difficult for Ruth now to persuade him that the low milk yield isn’t his fault, after all the very candid ‘discussions’ they’ve had over the last few months.

[Ruth] “I’ve tried my best to cheer him up, but it’s uphill work”

The shower hasn’t gone away …

As Kenton returns to the room, Jolene has finished her shower.

But, maybe I said my ‘phew’ too soon.

Jolene seems keen for Kenton to take a shower, but he’s keen to have some boozy juice.

[Jolene] “Drink first, eh … we could save that for later”

(later? No. Not later. Never. Ever).

The Jolene’s reticence becomes (potentially) clear.

[Kenton] “Jolene, you did see the sign on the door? In six different languages? This is a no smoking room!”

Kenton hadn’t caught Jolene smoking, or even smelt smoke. He was just suspicious that she’d been so keen to get him out of the room.

So they have a good giggle that Kenton thought Jolene was being sneaky, even though she claims she hadn’t been smoking.

And as she pointed out, she’d have had a smoke in the balcony rather than the room.

What’s more, Jolene claims she hasn’t had any cravings since they left Ambridge.

[Jolene] “Kenton, sweetheart, why would I want one with you here? … I daresay we’ll keep my mind off it somehow”

Which sounds fair enough.

And I had been wondering whether Jolene was actually okay with sharing a room – they haven’t spoken about taking the next step for a wee bit now (though Jolene did say she was ready).

Well, that’s that question sorted. She’s well up for it.

Good on her.

“Here we go”

Ruth and Jill tune their wirelesses just in time to catch Gardeners’ Question time.

Well it’s a first for me:

[Jill] “here we go!”

Saturday, 23 April 2011

The Archers Fri 22nd April 2011: The Ghost at The Book Club

click the title above, of the 'read more' link below the bullet points, to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

Joe’s still keeping a low profile
Lynda’s not convinced by Joe’s confidence
Walk of Witness
Outrageously smug non-smokers
Jim’s galvanised, Lynda’s mixed
Grace Kelly or Victoria Beckham
Jolene doesn’t trust Jamie
The Book Club’s second meeting
And the next book is …

Joe’s still keeping a low profile

He seems to now be hiding at the magazine racking in the village shop, rather than at Ed and Emma’s.

This means he has to feign an interest in mountain biking magazines.

May7be he should pay closer attention to the Gardening magazines? Business Magazines? Or ones which can help him with how to successfully create a great scam which won’t backfire, and won’t result in him having to hide next to magazine racking …

Lynda’s not convinced by Joe’s confidence

Joe reckons he knows Robert Harris’ The Ghost.

But all Lynda isn’t that convinced, after asking him what he thought of it.

[Lynda] “You’ll have to do a bit better than ‘interesting’. That hardly constitutes serious debate”

Walk of Witness

Jill mentioned the other day that the Book Club shouldn’t be meeting tonight, as it is Good Friday.

Lynda also has a tinge of ‘is this appropriate’:

[Lynda] “It seems rather frivolous after the walk of witness this morning”

But as Joe points out – not all Ambridge residents are Christians.

Outrageously smug non-smokers

I am utterly appalled.

Appalled that an adult like Jolene can be refused cigarettes in her local shop.

Appalled that her manfriend, Kenton, though he had the right to ask the volunteers at the village shop to refuse to serve her cigarettes.

And appalled that Lynda would then carry out Kenton’s wishes in refusing Jolene.

[Lynda] “He was eager to enlist us to the cause … pack the horrible habit in … you know it makes sense”

Then Lynda started waffling on about how Jolene should use visualisation to help her quit – see herself as a healthy woman without the addiction, and use positivity to help her quit.

Oh for feuck sake!

Jolene will quit when she’s decided she needs to – not when she’s been told to, forced to, by the vest of the village.

Can you imagine Lilian taking this sort of treatment?

Jim’s galvanised, Lynda’s mixed

Jim feels galvanised after Monday’s Gardeners’ Question Time recording.

But Lynda’s had a mixed week.

She’s not too pleased that Leonie is staying with her and Robert next week (even though Robert is very excited). She’s been quit put out that Caroline is going to take on Roy’s duties herself, rather than offering her staff (i.e. Lynda) promotion.

But Lynda did have a rather triumphant time at Gardeners’ Question Time. She’s taken quite a fancy to Matthew Wilson.

[Lynda] “Matthew is a consummate professional .. .charm personified”

Grace Kelly or Victoria Beckham

Kenton has a fantasy of Jolene and myself driving to Monte Carlo, in an open top sports car, with Jolene in a headscarf a la Grace Kelly.

As she’s done so well with not smoking (!!!), he’s bought her a new scarf.

But it would seem it might not have hit the mark. Fallon reckoned the scarf is:

[Fallon] “… very Victoria Beckham”

Is it a tad too tacky and flashy (sorry Victoria!), or is this just generational?

Jolene doesn’t trust Jamie

No surprises there then, but it’s a bit worrying that Jolene now doesn’t even trust Jamie to not turn up with a bunch of his mates at The Bull. Fallon reckons she’ll be fine – as she has Rhys to hand – but it’s a series state of affairs that Fallon has to rely on someone else to protect her and the pub from Jamie.

[Jolene] “ … worried about leaving you with a busy pub an d a wayward teenager … it’s a short step from where he is now to being in serious trouble”

When Jamie later on texts Fallon, after no contact from him for days, Jolene couldn’t care less. She reckons he’s only getting in touch as he now needs somewhere to sleep (eat and get money from), and she’s furious about it.

And quite right too. She’s given him a home and a job, but he doesn’t take any of it seriously.

[Jolene] “Never had so much as an excuse, let alone an apology”

But.

As Fallon reasons, if Jamie doesn’t stay with them – where will he go? They can’t turn him away.

So, Jamie has them over a barrel (gettit!).

Very tiresome indeed. What is one to do with a troublesome teen?

When Jamie does turn up at The Bull, Jolene tries to give him what for:

[Jolene] “Just because you’re my stepson,. Don’t mean I’ll take it from you”

So he promise to “toe the line”, and properly help Fallon while Jolene is away.

Odds on he just continues business as usual …

The Book Club’s second meeting

Tonight’s book, as we all know, is Robert Harris’ The Ghost.

And, as we all also expected, Joe’s tried to be clever by watching the film, instead of reading the book. As also expected, he’s managed to watch the wrong film – Ghost, starring Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore and Whoopi Goldberg … Queue the hilarity …

[Joe] “The bit where the ghost bit takes over from the other ghost …”

[Jim] “ …Harris themes of puppet and puppet masters”

[Ruth] “I agree with Joe …”

Joe refers to demons – Jim thinks it’s a clever analogy for the CIA.

[Joe] “I don’t remember no sat nav – that ghost helped him on the tube …”

[Lynda] “ politician …”

[Joe] “You mean potter!”

[Joe] “You can’t forget that bit, where they has all that wet and they make a pot”

[Jim] “To the strains of unchained melody, perhaps …”

Sounds like Jim knew all along that Joe wouldn’t read the book, and also probably guessed he’d watch the wrong film.

Ruth was also caught with her pants down – poor woman was agreeing with Joe throughout, and sounded like she also thought Ghost (film) was the same as The Ghost (book). But bless her. She didn’t even him time to cheat by watching the film – she had to rely on memory from a while back.

The majority of the Book Club just laughed it off, especially Jim, but Lynda was outraged:

[Lynda] “That’s typical of you, and I cite the mistletoe debacle on Monday, if you’re going to cheat at least do it properly. And Ruth, I’m surprised at you!”

And the next book is …

Elizabeth Gaskell’s Cranford, as chosen by Lynda.

[Lynda] “And woe betide anyone who watched the boxset instead!”

That’s them told.

Thursday, 21 April 2011

The Archers Thursday 21st April 2011: Kathy pulls a sickie

click the title above, of the'read more' link below the bullet points, to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

Elizabeth’s birthday
Nice of Joe to let Clarrie take the heat
First mention of the cricket season
Is less more?
The Ambridge take on the referendum …
Everyone thinks Ruth is thick
Gardeners’ Question Time
The yield curve isn’t good
Kathy calls in sick
“Ian, can you remind Alfie to settle into his heals?”
This year, Jill will mainly be gardening …
Does Jill just dislike Kenton?
There’s a time for cottage pie, and a time for borstal

Elizabeth’s birthday

And she seems surprisingly chirpy.

Probably helped that the kids have gone to a lot of effort (though we didn’t get to hear any of their day out).

Maybe Elizabeth is starting to appreciate what she’s still got.

[Elizabeth] “Kenton got me a huge box of smellies, so I’m feeling very spoiled”

A bit of a sad moment when Elizabeth asked Jill if she could come to lay flowers on Phil’s grave at the weekend (for what would have been his birthday), but Jill’s in top notch mother-nurturing mood:

[Jill] “Your father and Nigel would be so proud of you. I’m sure they’re both looking down with big smiles today”

Nice of Joe to let Clarrie take the heat

Joe’s still giving Keira a lot of attention – so that leaves Clarrie at home, dealing with his angry customers.

Typical.

Clarrie should lock Joe in the stocks on the village green, then head off to treat herself to a pampering, nice food and some new tights. She deserves nothing less for having to deal with those men of hers.

(and I don’t think the green does have stocks, but you get where I’m going. Have gone. Erm …)

First mention of the cricket season

Which, this year, was brought to you by Shula, speaking about Alistair having to plan for the upcoming season.

Hurrah!

It’s been beautiful weather, bank holidays a-plenty, and cricket is on the way.

There’s a slight taste of Summer in the air!

Is less more?

I generally think so.

Shula and Clarrie were discussing Lynda’s leaflet - too much text, in too small print - in comparison to Lilian’s – better, as it had less on it so was to the point.

[Shula] “Possibly due to the fact that she hasn’t got an awful lot to shout about”

Meow!

The Ambridge take on the referendum …

… is that it will encourage a bigger turn out for the Parish Council elections, as both are happening at the same time.

Brilliant!

Everyone thinks Ruth is thick

Chatting about how Ruth is struggling with The Ghost for the book club, Jill felt that she had the answer.

[Jill] “I’m sure it doesn’t matter if you just turn up and listen, even if you haven’t got anything to say”

What a shame on Ruth.

She really gets no credit.

The woman is busy!

Gardeners’ Question Time

Is this Sunday.

Hurrah! Wonder if they’ll edit Vicky out?

The yield curve isn’t good

As Jill’s wittering on about something or other, David seems very distracted.

And he is. He’s worrying about the mile yield. Seemingly they aren’t great – but worse still, they should be better than before, as the grass is better. But they’re actually worse.

Which doesn’t make any sense.

And Jill’s encouraging words (which sounded like she’d got from greetings cards – or those naff posters you buy for a motivational workplace) didn’t help matters.

So – not only is the yield bad, but they’ll also have to spend more money feeding the cows on concentrate, to try and get the yield back as (as the grass doesn’t seem to be working).

Extra cost, means less profit.

Wonder how Ruth will blame David about this one?

Kathy calls in sick

So that she can wait at home to try and catch Jamie.

(we found out in Ambridge Extra that the mess she found the other day was both Jamie and Marty returning to eat, get more kip, then head out again)

She’s also heard from Jolene that he didn’t turn up at The Bull, and missed another shift.

So she ends up sitting in the kitchen all day. Fretting and worrying.

“Ian, can you remind Alfie to settle into his heals?”

Eh?

Horsey talk from Shula. Way over my head.

As was Jill’s mention of tomorrow’s “Walk of witness”. I assume that’s something to do with Easter?

This year, Jill will mainly be gardening …

Broad beans and carrots (with Josh’s help), with an attempt at Florence fennel (which Phil once had success with).

Though the Ground-elder “seems to be coming back with a vengeance”

Does Jill just dislike Kenton?

It sometimes seems so.

She’ll comfort Elizabeth, and excuse her selfishness. She’ll support David, and try and make him feel better about low milk yields.

Yet, Kenton hardly ever gets a nice word said about him.

Jill is now losing sleep over him and Jolene.

[Jill] “He never thinks about the long term consequences of what he does. He just steams on regardless”

[Shula] “I don’t you’re doing him justice. He’s quite hurt at your attitude, you know mum…”

[Jill] “I can’t help what I think. And he doesn’t go out of his way to prove me wrong, does he?”

[Shula] “Look, instead of basing your opinion on past mistakes, isn’t it better to accept the choices that he makes now, and wait and see what happens?”

[Jill] “That’s easier said than done”

[Shula] “I know you just want us to be happy …Well, just let him and Jolene get on with it and find out for themselves if it works”

What’s Jill’s problem? Kenton and Jolene seem happy, so let them be.

Can’t quite believe it’s Saint Shula that’s defending Kenton’s liaisons. She’s not always been a Saint, and Kenton is her twin, but it would seem her moral stance is slightly relaxing. Maybe.

There’s a time for cottage pie, and a time for borstal

When Clarrie pops round to see Kathy, she finds that Jamie still hasn’t been home.

Kathy has made him a cottage pie (for goodness sake!), and still seems to think that she and Jamie could talk things through, if only he’d arrive home.

*sigh*

Haven’t we been at the ‘we need to talk; stage many times before?

At least Kathy does know that Jamie’s alive. She called his friends, and finally tracked him to Marty’s house.

[Clarrie] “At least you know he ain't been sleeping rough, and you know this family”

[Kathy] “To be honest, they don’t seem that bothered about what their own son gets up to, let alone mine”

[Clarrie] “Believe me Kathy, it’s better than nothing. You’ve just got to stick it out.”

[Kathy] “I’m finding it so hard to be patient Clarrie. I just want him home.”

Listen to Clarrie, Kathy. She knows what she’s talking about.

But maybe the time for pie is over. Just lock him up for a bit with bigger and badder lads than he could ever be ...

Monday, 11 April 2011

The Archers Monday 11th April 2011: Caroline is most annoyed!

click the 'read more' link below the bullet points to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

Oliver!
Roy’s made his decision
Jolene prefers Kathy angry
“Easter at The Bull is always a blast”
“Oh damn!”
Elizabeth better watch her back
Time to quit?

Oliver!

Hurrah! I do like it when one of my favoured Ambridge residents pops back again, after a bit of an absence.

Welcome back Oliver!

Roy’s made his decision

It’s to take Elizabeth’s offer of a spanky new job!

So, all he has to do is tell Caroline.

Which won’t be easy. She’s on a mission to gather her VAT paperwork before seeing her accountant. That Grey Gables has also managed to hold its own on during the recession has had a lot to do with Roy, according to Oliver and Caroline:

[Oliver] “I know how much Caroline relies on you”

Oh dear. This isn’t going to be too easy for Roy.

Jolene prefers Kathy angry

Jolene calls Kathy to tell her that she tried with Jamie, but he still isn’t interested in going home to Kathy.

Kathy isn’t upset, as she has come to expect nothing from Jamie.

And Kathy not being upset is unsettling Jolene.

[Jolene] “It was easier when Kathy was blaming me., I know I was in the right then”

“Easter at The Bull is always a blast”

So reckons Fallon.

She’s trying to reassure Jolene that all will be well with her (and Jamie) while Jolene goes on her trip to Monte Carlo.

Harry is going to run a bull match in the garden, and Fallon is organising the Easter egg hunt.

Question is – what is a bull match?

And will Molly Button burst into the tears at the sight of someone dressed up as the Easter bunny?

Or, was it just Sid that was terrifying as a bunny?!?

“Oh damn!”

Roy’s trying to tell Caroline that he’s handing in her notice, but she’s distracted trying to find her VAT paperwork.

But she finally twigs, as she hears him thanking her for giving him a chance all those years back, thanks for all the training, that he’s loved working at Grey Gables …

[Caroline] “It’s starting to sound like a farewell speech”

[Roy] “I’m afraid, that’s what it is …it’s the perfect job … it’s with lower Loxley”

[Caroline] “I see … if it’s a question of money …”

But Roy is firm. He can stay in the area while getting significant promotion, work at the same place as Hayley, and still help Elizabeth.

So Roy ain't for turning.

As soon as he walks out the door.

[Caroline] “Oh damn. Damn and blast!”

Elizabeth better watch her back

Although Oliver managed to calm Caroline down, she is absolutely furious at losing Roy

[Caroline] “That’s the last time I do anyone a good turn … it’s a catastrophe … after all I did for Elizabeth … I actually offered him to her … and that’s the thanks I get. Well, never again!”

But, as Oliver reasoned, Caroline wouldn’t have sat back and let Elizabeth go under, so would have lent her Roy even if she knew there was a chance of Roy then leaving.

Caroline’s just a nice lady.

Unlike Elizabeth, who couldn’t give a hoot about her friends and neighbours.

Lest we forget that Elizabeth could have solved her problems by hiring in a professional manager. Which would have avoided the horrible time David and Ruth had (when he was always at Lower Loxley), and wouldn’t have meant Roy had to be loaned to her in the first place.

Caroline’s so sound up that she’s even thinking of not replacing Roy – saving money and hassle, but it would mean her then having to do all of his work herself.

Which Oliver won’t hear of. He retired so that they could spend more time together.

Haven’t they forgotten something?

The answer to their lack-of-Roy has a very simple solution.

Promote Lynda!

Time to quit?

Jolene reckons she can “feel a new phase coming on” in her life.

[Jolene] “I feel like I want to mark it somehow …do something different, be the new me somehow”

I thought Kenton would jump at the chance to suggest something adult and rude – but no. He first says that he wouldn’t change a thing about her … expect her smoking.

Although Jolene has tried before, and doesn’t actually sound that keen to quit, Kenton seems determined … and takes her pack of cigarettes.

[Kenton] “No time like the present. Now, if you’re serious about this …”

Um … I didn’t hear Jolene say she was that serious.

And Kenton – most folks do not quite smoking by their boyfriend taking their fags there and then. It has to start from REALLY wanting to quit, then finding the right way to do so. Cold turkey can work, but not when it’s been foisted.

And I do speak as a smoker. It’s a disgusting habit. But I enjoy a smoke (no further justification as there really isn’t any!). If someone else told me that I should quit, and then took my tobacco … grrrr!