- “Look Dad, proper napkins and everything!”
- Joe at the book club?
- Excuse me Eddie - ‘pronto’?
- Plan C
- Leonie’s coming next month
- Jamie shouts at Kenton
- Jamie shouts near Fallon
“Look Dad, proper napkins and everything!”
Eddie makes it sound like Clarrie makes them eat out of takeaway boxes …
After having conned Lynda into agreeing that he and Joe could have Sunday lunch with her and Robert (as Clarrie was working – real reason that they want to avoid the Lent meal of cheese and bread), Eddie’[s well chuffed with himself.
But it doesn’t last for long.
For starters – Lynda has had to work. Which is Elizabeth’s fault for having to ‘borrow; Roy, leaving Grey Gables’ rota in tatters.
So, it’s Robert cooking. Quite bizarrely – he seemingly looks like a boxer in his cooking mitts …
First Robert brings out the brown rice.
[Joe] “Curry for Sunday dinner, that ain’t right”
Then he brings out the puy lentils (which is seemingly naughty, and Lynda musn't be told)
Numpties didn’t check whether Lynda and Robert were also doing this non-Sunday lunch for lent!
[Joe] “Eh, got any brown sauce?”
Joe at the book club?
Robert happened to mention that Lynda will miss the first meeting of Usha’s book club (due to the new rota, again), and that explained it’s a discussion group with nibbles and wine.
Joe sounded very interested at that point.
Here’s hoping he does join, and the next book is the Vagina Monologues!
Excuse me Eddie - ‘pronto’?
Now Eddie may have been severely disappointed about Robert’s Sunday Lunch, but there was nae need to be that rude to Fallon.
We all know what happens to your food in the kitchen you’re rude to waiting folks …
[Eddie] “Two portions of pasties and chips, pronto … check with Freda, it’s an emergency!”
[Joe] “I can still taste that boiled rice”
[Eddie] “All that chewing Robert made us do to make us ‘appreciate it’”
But then – foiled again!
Robert walks into The Bull, just as Fallon has headed off ‘pronto’ like to check Eddie and Joe can have their food.
Ha!
Serves you right chaps. A bit of common courtesy wouldn’t have gone amiss
Plan C
[Eddie] “We’ve got to get our hands on the means of production”
Which means they’ll try and get Clarrie invited elsewhere, so that they can cook their own Sunday lunch.
I have to say that I am losing my patience with Eddie and Joe this time.
Clarrie never gets taken anywhere – but they’ll ‘get rid’ of her to suit their own needs.
They then decide that they can pass Clarrie off onto Emma – despite the fact that Emma and Clarrie are barley being civil to each other, and Emma is heavily pregnant.
Eddie’s right that Emma isn’t incapacitated, but guests are guests – and we all know that a mother-in-law visit means – lots of tidying!
The tight-fisted numpties won’t even just simp0ly pop out to The Bull to buy their own Sunday lunch. They have to go about it in a way which inconveniences everyone around them
Surely they must come a proper cropper? Clarrie will find out – and all of their shenanigans aren’t exactly in the spirit of Lent
[Robert] “It’s quite humbly to feel some solidarity with the hungry”
Humble pie, Eddie and Joe?
Leonie’s coming next month
And Robert is quite relieved that she had a new boyfriend called Jay.
[Robert] “A dose of happiness will bring out her amenable side …”
Here’s hoping.
Though Eddie did mention that Jay sounded “like a bird”.
I get it, but I also wonder …
Jamie shouts at Kenton
[Jamie] “You got your best jeans on .. you’re going on a date, aren’t you … with my stepmum … I saw you getting with her last Thursday”
[Kenton] “It’s not a causal thing,. It’s a proper relationship”
[Jamie] “You just can’t help sleeping around!”
[Kenton] “What has happened with Jolene is for real”
[Jamie] “Like it was for real with my mum! You’re such a loser!”
If only Kenton had learned his lesson from the last time, and told Jamie before he found it by seeing him in flagrante.
I reckon Jamie does have a right to be angry and confused.
His mum’s ex. With his dead dad’s wife.
Ouch.
Jamie shouts near Fallon
Thank goodness Jamie does have Fallon, and seems to listen to her.
[Jamie] “So how come that slime ball is down there?”
(on finding out that Fallon already knew about Kenton and Jolene – and that they wanted to keep everything quiet)
[Jamie] “Why does nobody tells me things. It’s like I’m invisible or something … I’m not people!”
[Fallon] “It was a real shock to me an all, if that helps … what I’ve tried to come to terms with is my mum moving on, from your dad … I still can’t honestly get my head round it”
[Jamie] “It’s gross”
[Fallon] “But they do seem genuinely happy together”
[Jamie, sarcastically] “Oh well, As long as Kenton’s happy”
[Fallon] “I know he’s hurt you … I think he’s genuinely sorry”
[Jamie] “Sorry he’s been found out! …who cares anyway …”
[Fallon] “My mum’s dead choosy, you know … I know my mum wouldn’t want you to be upset”
[Jamie] “Well, she better look out, that’s all. He double crossed my mum and will do the same to yours …”
[Fallon] “What do you mean, double crossed?”
[Jamie] “He had this woman, he picked her up in Jaxx, Holly, who was like this real slag … it was the breaking point for my mum … I best Holly wasn’t the only one …”
Choosing not to hear anymore, Fallon suggests they watch their DVD.
But job done, Jamie..
Telling Fallon about Holly will make Fallon more suspicious – and she’s bound to eventually tell Jolene, or accuse Kenton of something he hasn’t even done.
There’s a Jamie sized wedge about to get between Kenton and Jolene, methinks.
- Kathy thanks Jolene for taking her man
- DVDS? Well, I never!
- “It’s the work place of the loveliest woman in Borchester”
- That could have been far, far worse for Jamie
- Kenton hurts Jamie, so (of course) Jamie hurts Kathy
- Elizabeth won’t be playing rugby for England
Kathy thanks Jolene for taking her man
Well, her wee man.
She bumps into Jolene, and thanks her for taking Jamie out, as he returned in a rare good mood.
DVDS? Well, I never!
It was fair enough that Jolene and Kathy sounded in awe of Fallon downloading a meal voucher to her mobile (did we ever expect we’d see the like?), but they also sounded a tad overexcited about the concept of DVDs.
Odd.
“It’s the work place of the loveliest woman in Borchester”
Aw! Kenton can be sweet when he tries.
No idea if this is all going to work out as smiles rather than tears, but it’s nice eavesdropping on two happy folks. Even if their kissing is rather slobbery.
That could have been far, far worse for Jamie
Jamie’s lucky that Kenton and Jolene have decided to take things slow.
When he walked in on them, there was only snogging to be seen.
Kenton never does learn. It must have crossed his mind that this would anger Jamie ever more than the one night stand – especially considering Jolene is his dead dad’s wife.
Somewhere in Borchester, there’s a therapist planning his retirement round Jamie Perks …
Kenton hurts Jamie, so (of course) Jamie hurts Kathy
Why does Jamie have to be such an utter prick to his mum Kathy?
I know he’s a teenage lad. I know he’s a teenage lad who recently lost his dad.
But why does Kathy have to be in the firing line everytime something goes wrong for Jamie?
Is that just normal mither/son stuff? I have no idea. My boy greyhounds never behave like that.
Kathy did the unspeakable crime of bringing Jamie a “hot blackcurrant and toast”, then tried to help him with his homework.
That blew up into Jamie berating her for treating him like a kid, (a rather wonderful moment, I thought) of Jamie and Kathy basically saying ‘duh!’ to each other, and Jamie then calling into question Kathy’s ability to do maths.
Shocking!
[Jamie] “You’re just as rubbish as maths as I am. Where do you think I get it from?”
Jamie does admit that he feels out of his depth at maths, but doesn’t want to say anything to his teacher as he reckons he’s the only one struggling – and doesn’t want to look thick.
As Kathy is trying to work out a solution with him, he turns on her like a very affronted hamster:
[Jamie] “Oh yes. Let’s ask Dad, or Kenton … oh no, we can’t can we, cause they’re not here, are they mum … I’ll just go down To the Bull to see Jolene, cause that's where Kenton will be., with her … Or didn’t you know that they were together now!”
Nasty. Nasty little boy.
Kathy was shocked and upset to hear that news, and left the room.
It sounded like Jamie than sighed (I’m guessing that means he knows he went too far), but – I’m very sad to announce – that it looks like Kathy and Jamie are back.
Here we go again. Months upon months of shouting, tantrums, slamming doors and tearful chats with Pat.
*sigh*
Elizabeth won’t be playing rugby for England
But other than that, her operation was “straight forward”
She can’t lift, run or do any contact sport – and also can’t drive for a while.
I reckon Topper needs to return.
Can one ride a horse down a motorway?
- Kenton Archer: Mystery Man
- What’s Elizabeth’s problem now?!?!?!?
- Lamb with anchovies
- Didn’t he do well!
- Jolene mentioned hounds …
- Fallon onside .. what about Jamie?
Kenton Archer: Mystery Man
Chatting to Fallon about taking Jolene out, Kenton won’t tell her where they’re off to.
Which leads Fallon to call Kenton a “mystery man”.
The reality is a tad more mundane.
Kenton gives Jolene a scarf as a present (which was thoughtful, and I’m sure was very nice), and takes her for lunch on a boat restaurant in Felpersham (which was again thoughtful, and sounded very nice).
So – less of a ‘mystery man’ (which conjures up adventure, danger and exoticism) – more of a ‘very nice man’.
What’s Elizabeth’s problem now?!?!?!?
For a woman with a weak heart, she really knows how to wind herself up.
What on earth is wrong with getting an Implantable cardioverter-defibrillator?
[Elizabeth] “This weird object … it looks like an old fashioned cigarette lighter … I want to get used to the thought of it being under my skin”
Here’s what one looks like:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Implantable_cardioverter-defibrillator
(which I think is actually kinda groovy).
So – the doctors say this is what she needs – but Elizabeth reckons she needs time to think and get more information.
She wants to know if the shock will hurt – will it be obvious (it’s going into her shoulder) - will the kids needs to do anything if it needs to kick start their mum.
All fair enough questions – but what’s the alternative?
Chance of sudden death?
That’ll really be helping the Twins!
David’s rightly concerned that Elizabeth seems to be pondering over something which is actually not really a choice.
But Jill knows her daughter
[Jill] “I can be a sounding board, but I don’t want to put her under any pressure … the one person’s whose guidance she’d listen to isn’t here … once she has the facts, she’ll go ahead”
[David] “Will she?”
[Jill] “I hope so”
To be frank – I’m not really that bothered.
I’ve said it before – but Elizabeth makes it so hard to care …
Lamb with anchovies
Works well, according to Kenton (and I can also vouch for that), but maybe not quite right for Freda. Or The Bull’s punters.
(‘you what? Fish? On my lamb???? I’ll just have a pie’)
Didn’t he do well!
Kathy will be beyond fury when she realised that Kenton is seeing Jolene – and that he’s being attentive, caring and thoughtful.
Jolene had mentioned that she’d always wanted a barge holiday when she was a kid – so he takes her for a surprise lunch on a boat.
He listens and then thinks it through.
Caw blimey!
[Kenton] “You travel the world, and find the thing you were looking for was right here”
Here’s hoping. I am enjoying this union. So far.
(any mention of showers, I’m outta here!)
Jolene mentioned hounds …
She probably meant: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fox_hunting
But I’ll use it as an excuse to plug the charity I foster for – retired/rescued greyhounds.
http://www.dgrescue.org.uk/id3.html
(and contrary to common misconceptions – they’re the laziest breed you’ll ever meet, are placid and eager to please, great with kids, don’t need long exercise AND some of them like cats!)
Fallon onside .. what about Jamie?
I totally forgot about Jamie.
Must have wiped him from my mind for being such a moronic arse of a teenager.
Anyway – though Kenton and Jolene didn’t kiss goodbye in front of Fallon (easy does it!) – looks like Fallon ‘gets it’
[Fallon] “I can see you had a great time … it’s been ages since I saw you so happy”
[Jolene] “It’s been ages since I’ve been so happy”
Hurrah!
But then in walks Jamie, who is utterly oblivious that his dead dad’s wife is seeing his mum’s ex-boyfriend – when his mum was also his dad’s ex-wife …
Ouch. Lucky there was nothing to see, this time.
Some shouting ahoy?
- How dirty was Eddie’s van?
- Jolene – she says ‘no’!
- Widow Hawkins
- Lent 2011
- Joe waxing lyrical
- Matt reckons pancakes and pleasure don’t mix
- Lillian’s off out with Eddie
- Fallon spots it a mile off
How dirty was Eddie’s van?
Quite very much so, if him sweeping it out was enough to cause Clarrie alarm about the mess he was making outside the front of their house.
Jolene – she says ‘no’!
[Jolene] “No – I’m so sorry … I should have let you know … I ain't selling at all. I want to keep going here”
[Lilian] “Don’t apologise darling … that’s wonderful news … I’d much rather we’d kept our pub”
So there it is.
The Bull is saved.
Well, it will be, if the locals also now spend more time and money in there.
Kenton must be an amazing kisser.
With one kiss, he’s pick Jolene up from her low ebb, and has made her feel more positive about the future.
At last – we have found a real use for My Kenton Archer’s talents! Just imagine what he’ll achieve when he and Jolene get really intimate.
Widow Hawkins
[Joe] “Widow Hawkins … you’d die of thirst before she ever worked out the use of the kettle”
Joe also advises that one provides one’s own sandwiches, flask and oxygen when doing a job for Widow Hawkins.
(the oxygen is so that she doesn’t ask for a discount for you breathing hers)
Lent 2011
No tents for Alan this year – he’s squarely put the sacrifices back onto his parishioners.
[Joe] “It’s the vicar done this to her, I reckon. Got her cooking with a mean hand”
Clarrie’s signed up for the Lent appeal, which (Joe reckons) means bread, cheese and soup right through lent, and giving any money you’ve saved by eating so sparingly to the vicar.
[Eddie] “Well, if it makes her happy”
[Joe] “It ain't just her, Eddie. She’s signed you and me up as well”
[Eddie] “Eh? Oh flipping eck!”
Ah, queue much hilarity in the Grundy household over sneaky food treats.
Joe waxing lyrical
Joe reckons his grandfather used to say:
[Joe] “Peregrines is the souls of them who’ve been lost on the mountains”
Such poetry.
Why didn’t such sensitivity carry through the Grundy generations?
Matt reckons pancakes and pleasure don’t mix
Each to their own.
But when do pancakes become serious?
Lillian’s off out with Eddie
And the rest of the Grundy clan to the racing for Eddie’s birthday.
So Tony is no fun – but Lillian’s a goer.
Actually, I quite agree.
Fallon spots it a mile off
Jolene has to tell Fallon all about her and Kenton, as Fallon had picked up on a bit of an intimate atmosphere.
Fallon thinks it’s too soon for Jolene to be seeing Kenton.
[Fallon] “You’re still so raw. I just don’t want to see you hurt”
[Jolene] “That’s always a risk, isn’t it. But, I don’t think it’s much of a one with Kenton. What you see is what you get with him. A funny, sweet guy who is helping me feel good about myself again”
[Fallon, without much conviction] “Well that’s … great”
Jolene quite rightly pointed out that Kenton didn’t have it easy with Kathy, so is probably just as vulnerable as Jolene is.
[Fallon] “But it does make a difference. I actually enjoyed myself again tonight …serving, chatting to the punters … I felt like me again”
Hurrah!
But does Fallon have a point?
Does Jolene know what she’s doing?
Does Kenton?
- Brian, sewing boxes and green monsters
- First chance Hayley gets …
- Kenton hanging onto Jolene
- We trust in Jennifer
- Brian washing pants and making packed lunches?
- “half the pleasure is in the anticipation”
- “You betcha Jolene”
Brian, sewing boxes and green monsters
Ruairi is having a go at tying flies, which means Brian is turning Jennifer’s sewing box upside down to find some thread.
What a cheapskate! How come Kate gets a new laptop, but Ruairi doesn’t even get proper tying thread?
First chance Hayley gets …
She breaks Phoebe’s confidence.
Though technically, I suppose she only promised Phoebe she wouldn’t tell Kate. But, I hardly think telling Jennifer was entirely what Phoebe would have wanted.
Kenton hanging onto Jolene
As Kenton and Jolene make their way to their wine tasting, it sounds like Kenton’s actually taken Jolene through a building site to get there.
With uneven paving stones, Kenton cares enough to notice that Jolene could be having particular problems:
[Kenton] “it’s not ruining your heels is it?”
Bless.
And it was lovely to hear them both being awkward and shy with each other. Although they’ve known each other for an age, this is their first date.
They do seem a good match. Kenton mentions something about their evening out being work-related:
[Jolene] “Is that how you see spending time with me … hard work?”
[Kenton] “I don’t know yet …”
Ah, you tease!
And Kenton behaves like a real gentleman, holding onto Jolene as they pick their way through (what sounds like) some of the most dangerous paving in England.
We trust in Jennifer
After Hayley tells Jennifer that Phoebe is scared of flying by herself, Jennifer has a subtle chat with Phoebe.
Well, suitable enough for a child.
Jennifer tells Phoebe that she found going to Felpersham by herself as “terribly daunting”, and how Phoebe is being “ever so brave” in even thinking about travelling back from South Africa by herself.
[Jennifer] “I know I’d have been ever so worried”
(which gives Phoebe the right encouragement to open up)
[Phoebe] “That’s what’s bugging me granny … what if I don’t get on with the airline woman … I had to sit next to Mrs Riley in the school coach once … I didn’t know what to say, it was so embarrassing. She was eating tuna sandwiches the whole trip, they stand”
[Jennifer] “Oh, how frightful!”
[Phoebe] “What if they get split up, or I lose my ticket or someone snatches my bag …”
[Jennifer] “Those are very sensible concerns”
However, although Jennifer does a sterling job of getting Phoebe to talk about her fears, she takes a slightly extreme approach to allaying them …
Brian washing pants and making packed lunches?
So, Jennifer announces to Brian that she’s gone and booked herself “both ways” to South Africa – flying out with Kate and Phoebe, then flying back with Phoebe.
So that solves Phoebe.
But, that creates a whole new headache for Brian.
[Brian] “But, you can’t …”
[Jennifer] “But actually I can, the transaction has gone through”
Cheeky Brian then tries to make out that Jennifer going on Phoebe’s holiday will spoil Kate’s plans – how very unsporting of him to try and make Jennifer feel unwanted so that he doesn’t have to ‘cope’ home alone with Ruairi.
But, the only problem Jennifer can see is what to wear. She’s too excited about seeing her other grandkids to worry about Brian being caveman grumpy.
[Jennifer] “This will be the perfect opportunity for some real father son bonding”
Realising he has no choice, Brian decides to grin and pretend it’s a wonderful idea.
According to him, it will all just be a matter of “time management”.
Makes one wonder if Brian has actually noticed the kids he’s had in his household …
“half the pleasure is in the anticipation”
There seemed to be a lot of heaving breathing during Kenton and Jolene’s first date.
[Kenton] “dribbled unpronounceable cava all over my shirt”
Which I reckon was him being rather saucy, especially as they then went onto to talk about how to taste a wine – involving taking a good look – savouring the bouquet – then waiting …”half the pleasure is in the anticipation”
Oo-er! Shower scene ahoy!
[Kenton] “For some reason, life seems to be getting more interesting”
Lovely. Kenton deserves something nice to happen to him (after Kathy … and, of course, Nigel). And anything that brings Jolene back to herself is very welcome indeed.
Jolene nearly spoils the mood by bringing up Saint Sid.
[Jolene] “not trying to forget Sid … if were still here, I would be with him … and will always keep a big place in my heart for him”
But Kenton brings Jolene back to reality by asking for them to “have some fun together in the here and now”
Hmmm.
I’m not entirely convinced Kenton should be getting involved with yet another of Sid’s women, so fingers crossed there are no tears after bedtime.
“You betcha Jolene”
I really enjoyed eavesdropping on Jolene and Kenton’s first kiss – and not for any seedy reason.
It was just really nice to hear two adults, who are both generally rather nice folks in their own right, enjoy each other’s company – take such delight out of very tame flirting – and feel comfortable enough to be open with each other.
Having a little giggle that some bloke called Ray asked them if they were an item:
[Kenton] “I certainly know what I’d like us to be …”
[Jolene] “Do you?”
[Kenton] “Oh yeah …”
(some slightly slurpy, but not quite letchy, kissing)
[Kenton] “Oh wow …”
[Jolene, in a very deep, racy voice] “Yeah …”
But what I really liked was Jolene telling Kenton to call her early tomorrow.
[Jolene] “I don’t want to wake up wondering. I want to be sure this is happening.”
[Kenton] “Oh yes. You betcha Jolene”
How many times, as youngsters, have we sat by the phone waiting for ‘that’ call the day after the night before?
Good on you Jolene. No point sitting around, checking that the dial tone still works (then wondering if, when you picked up the phone to check the dial tone, they tried to call at that exact moment …).
- Blood and feathers on the churchyard wall
- George wants a red racing car, not a baby
- Music clubs and currywurst
- It’s not lack of sleep that’s making Helen yawn
- Is Emma just thick?
- Helen’s back to DVDs and being stubborn
- Hurrah! Happiness in Ambridge!!!!
Blood and feathers on the churchyard wall
That really should be a The Smiths song title.
It would seem the Peregrines are back – which Lynda is delighted about, but Emma doesn’t like. The sight of “lumps of dead bird” doesn’t take her fancy at all.
George wants a red racing car, not a baby
Quite right mate.
Music clubs and currywurst
Was the sum total of Tom and Brenda’s trip to Berlin.
That sounds a bit of alright.
Please don’t tell me I’m getting as dull as those two …
It’s not lack of sleep that’s making Helen yawn
And it’s not The Bull chucking out time (though that both the pub and the village shop are keeping Helen awake adds up to Helen moving home soon, I reckon).
It’s Helen boring herself.
As all new mums do, she’s entranced by the sight of her baby sneezing. And thinks it makes for good general chat.
Mais non!
Lucky it was just the proud grandmum Pat she was talking to. Not sure if Kirsty would be coping with another round of mumstalk
But beware Helen … even Thatcher didn’t manage to function on less than 5 hours …
Is Emma just thick?
She certainly isn’t taking the hint from Clarrie that she’s unlikely to ever beat Nic in the favourite daughter-in-law stakes (unless she starts to genuinely care – rather than try to force herself to care).
Though I agree with Clarrie that Emma’s choice of names isn’t that great – it’s that she doesn’t know about the connotations of ‘Scarlett woman’ which also leads me to think she’s a tad thick.
Emma wants Sky or Charlie for a boy (she only mentioned Charlie after Clarrie said she liked Charles), and Scarlett for a girl.
After Scarlett Johansson – rather than Scarlett O’Hara (which Emma reckoned she’d just ‘forgotten’ about).
On Clarrie saying she thought it’d be a bad name because of the jokes the child would suffer in later life, Emma just didn’t get it.
[Emma] “What?”
[Clarrie] “Well it’s in the bible Emma – a Scarlett woman, well she’s no better than she ought to be”
Hmmm. One would have thought Emma would see herself in that description …
Anyway, Emma offers to help Clarrie with Eddie’s birthday picnic, but Nic has beaten her to it.
Emma will be fighting to get to cut Joe’s toenails next …
Helen’s back to DVDs and being stubborn
Helen reckons she’s going to properly slop out in front of a DVD (very Helen-like), and is refusing to move back home, even part-time, to make her life easier (very, very Helen-like).
But, she did also came out with:
[Helen] “You can’t expect the whole world to be quiet just because you have a baby”
Now that is very un-Helen like indeed. The world used to revolve round Helen. Now it’s Henry – Helen seems to have (sometimes) gained some perspective.
Hurrah! Happiness in Ambridge!!!!
Kenton goes round to Jolene to talk to her about The Bull.
I’ll leave (most of) the rest up to them:
[Kenton] “ …even if he’s going to rip anything out … turn it into flats?”
[Jolene] “I don’t know. I don’t care what Matt will do with it … what’s it matter to you?”
[Kenton] “ … Ambridge without The Bull, it’s unthinkable.”
[Jolene - sarcastically] “Fantastic. One less place to have a beer. That’s what’s bugging you … losing one of your locals”
[Kenton] “No it isn’t. I couldn’t give a damn about the pub. It’s … it’s you. I don’t want to see you go”
[Jolene - quietly] “You don’t want ,me to leave Ambridge?”
[Kenton] “No”
[Jolene] “Why not?”
[Kenton - softly] “Why do you think …?”
[Jolene] “I don’t know … I didn’t think it would make any difference to you”
(Kenton then tries to walk away from it, telling Jolene to forget it)
[Jolene] “I don’t get it, why did you pull the plug on me last week?”
[Kenton] “I didn’t want to. I had to … we were (getting on) much too well … the way that I feel about you. It isn’t … um, appropriate .. you’ve been depressed, you’re vulnerable, It’s totally wrong of me to care for you too much …”
[Jolene] “Don’t you think I should be judge of that?”
[Kenton, stunned] “What?”
[Jolene] “Hearts don’t work to a timetable, do they? I couldn’t work out why I was so mad with you last week … it really hurt. So I asked myself why. I realised … I have feelings an all”
[Kenton – even more stunned] “No!”
[Jolene] “Yes. You do mean it?”
(which is worth checking – it is Kenton …)
[Kenton] “Yes … I didn’t know what it was until I was talking to Kirsty …”
[Jolene] “Oh – the two of us! Ain't you meant to get wiser as you get older!”
Ah – that was a real grinning, breath of freshly buzzing air.
Marvellous!
Kenton and Jolene have agreed to take things slow – but could you also already hear the rather husky, racy tones of Jolene returning?
They were giggling like teenagers at the end. And Kenton asked Jolene out this Thursday – to which Jolene replied:
[Jolene] “oh yea, I’d really like that Kenton”
(and I somehow think they won’t be taking things too slow, or ‘just as friends’ for very long at all …)
- Jazzer’s making some sense
- Tom’s efforts go unnoticed
- The Crown and Cushion at Penny Hasset comes Kenton recommended
- Poor Roy
- Kenton doth protest?
Jazzer’s making some sense
[Jazzer] “Have you learned nothing from me laddie? You never give your number to a lassie you’re no interested in … you give them one digit wrong, or you give them Mike’s number or Tom’s number or the number to the Chinese takeaway”
[Harry] “Some of us have a conscience, Jazzer”
I’m with Jazzer on this one. Harry should just face up to the lady (well, ladies) in question, and be honest.
Though I can see why he’s worried.
Harry’s had 20 texts from Tasha – and has been replying so not to seem to be rude – and now her mate Zoe’s getting in on the act. Zoe reckons that if he doesn’t want Tasha, she’d be happy to get it on with Flash Harry.
While Harry reckons it’s all Jazzer’s fault – this is actually one time it was utterly not of Jazzer’s doing.
Harry agreed to go on the date. Harry flirted with both ladies. Harry isn’t being straight with them by text.
Ignoring Jazzer’s suggestion that he tell them he’s too busy “worming the cat”, Harry doesn’t seem to have any decent ideas about how to cope with his multiple-but-unwanted-female-interest.
So Jazzer takes control of Harry’s mobile, and texts “Not interested. Have a nice life.” to them both.
Job done. Methinks.
I’m just glad Harry doesn’t have a rabbit.
Tom’s efforts go unnoticed
Pat and Tony are back from their rather wonderful holiday – but Kirsty reckons:
[Kirsty] “Tom was quite hurt. He was ever so proud to spot mastitis …”
But of course – one cannot compete with a recently born grandchild.
Wonder how long it’ll take Tom to try and inseminate Brenda, if that’s the only way to get a bit of glory.
The Crown and Cushion at Penny Hasset comes Kenton recommended
Good-o. I’m always on the look for a good pub with decent scran.
Poor Roy
First off, he has to suffer:
[Roy] “Another dose of Lynda going on about her special relationship with Royalty”
(by-the-by – Ian is being quite modest about his proper brush with Camilla)
Now he has to “face the dreaded Mrs Blisset” in order to beg for Phoebe’s time off of school to go to South Africa.
He’ll be getting it tight from Hayley for even having to broker the compromise.
And he’s having to do Elizabeth’s work for her (even though Grey Gables is her client).
Ach well.
Could be worse.
He could be related to Vicky.
Oh, hang on …
Kenton doth protest?
Spotting that Kenton has yet again been out with Jolene, Kirsty reckons there’s more to their friendship that Kenton will admit:
[Kirsty] “It’s not occasionally though. It’s a heck of a lot … come on … just good friends, we all know what that means.”
[Kenton] “You may live your life by the headlines in the celebrity magazines … in the real world, just good friends means just that”
Which would be fine, and understandable, if Kenton hadn’t gone on to say:
[Kenton] “The idea that I’m hitting on her when Sid hasn’t been dead even a year … it’d be totally wrong. Totally inappropriate. I’m totally shocked that you’d even say that. Totally inappropriate.”
Aha! There it is then. Kenton wants to. But knows it’s a tad dodgy.
Problem is, I’m not sure how much ,more I can stomach of Kenton and Jolene not being Kenton and Jolene.
Time to make or stop?
- “Such an exciting day for us all”
- Do Susan and Clarrie write for Heat?
- Correction fluid?
- Susan and Clarrie chat to Camilla
- Poor old Lyndee, stuck in the lavatory
- Ah – that explains Lord Netherborne
- Too slow for Charles?
- So – she laughed, and liked the shortbread
- I refuse to even comment on Kenton and Jolene anymore
- Camilla should have stopped
- “Has anyone seen Oliver?”
“Such an exciting day for us all”
So says Lynda. But, I must admit, she doesn’t quite speak for me.
I wish no harm on the Royals, but am not particularly excited about them or their doings.
My only joy out of this particular Royal visit is the classic Lyndee moments it has helped nurture.
But ho-hum. Well done Camilla. I suppose if anything, there might be a bit of a flurry of donations and support for osteoporosis.
Do Susan and Clarrie write for Heat?
Arriving early to bag a good place to watch Camilla go by, Clarrie and Susan then go off into a ‘she’s thin, she’s fat’ commentary.
Almost like the ‘eeek! How horribly thin is she’, followed a week later with a ‘eeeek! How horribly fat is she’ in Heat magazine.
Anyhoo. The woman from the telly is too thin (and looks frozen) whereas Helen:
[Susan] “Helen looks the better for carrying more weight since she had the baby”
Correction fluid?
What is this outbreak of rudery (Jazzer re mantelpieces the other day) and *snort* suggestions?
Was that really correction fluid on Lynda’s jacket?
I hope so. The alternative is too awful to contemplate.
Susan and Clarrie chat to Camilla
After much cheering, flag waving and Susan reckoning Camilla looked in her direction – Clarrie and Susan then get to actually speak to Camilla!
Actually, they even shook her hand!!!
My. Giddy. Aunt.
And wasn’t Lynda overjoyed for them …
Poor old Lyndee, stuck in the lavatory
[Lynda] “You? The Duchess spoke to you? I’m afraid I was elsewhere when the Duchess came through reception … I was infact in the ladies when the Duchess arrived … it was a bitter blow, I’m afraid … I’m afraid I’ve missed my moment”
Ah – that explains Lord Netherborne
His osteoporosis gave Caroline and Camilla something to chat about.
[Camilla] “Poor man. Not many people realise that man are affected by it as well as women,. Is he in a lot of pain?”
And poor chap for having to have a fall just so Caroline could make small talk to Royalty.
Too slow for Charles?
[Caroline – still talking about Lord Netherborne] “His recovery is quite slow … to slow for him anyway
[Camilla] “I know the feeling …”
Did I hear that right?
Could that have been a comment on Camilla being impatient about Charles’ lack of crown?
Surely not?
So – she laughed, and liked the shortbread
Camilla did seem a nice sort, and was very nice to Ambridge’s nicest resident – Mr Ian Craig.
What was Ian’s problem with meeting Camilla, after she had especially asked for him?
Just nerves?
[Caroline] “She’s lovely. It’s just like talking to anyone else”
Caroline manages to persuade him to say help, which he does. Even though it was a tad excruciating hearing Ian bow so low that he must have scraped his forehead on the floor.
Still – Camilla did make a very apt comment when asking Ian how he wound up in Ambridge:
[Camilla] “Ambridge got its hooks into you … I imagine that happens to a lot of people”
Indeed Camilla. If only you know how very true that is for some of us. There’s a whole gaggle of Ambridge-widowers out there.
I refuse to even comment on Kenton and Jolene anymore
I can’t actually not – but must be firm that it annoys me that I have to.
I am hereby deciding that Jolene and Kenton are not going to get it on – and that I will not play along with the ‘will they, won’t they’ shenanigans.
Well … at least until they actually get interesting again .
Camilla should have stopped
Lynda is beyond consolation at missing her moment with Royalty:
[Lynda] “What have I got to look forward to? A bike ride home in the cold and dark followed by the parish council meeting”
And then her chain falls off.
But what’s this?
The sound of a car.
It slows down.
Lynda exclaims: “Oh! Your Royal Highness”
And then …
… the car carries on.
So Camilla sees Lynda struggling (in the cold and dark) with her bike, but doesn’t instruct her driver to give her some help.
I think that’s rather rude.
I’d have stopped. And I don’t even have a driver to do all the ,mucky work.
Still – mustn’t grumble – as Lynda was delighted.
[Lynda] “… I got the most charming wave and smile in return”
Her bubble can’t even be burst by Kenton and Jolene pointing out that she has oil on her face,
[Lynda] “Oh anyway. What does it matter. My own personal wave. There’s no-one else in Ambridge who can claim that!”
That’s kinda sweet, I suppose.
“Has anyone seen Oliver?”
Asks Caroline.
He was seemingly around yesterday, and is in the kitchen today, but we haven’t heard from him for many a month.
Suspicious …
- Nigel’s racing mice
- Classic ghost stories aren’t appropriate
- Will no-one think of Eileen Titcombe?
- Royalty and a gluten free lady
- Do Royalty use the toilet?
- “I can’t settle to anything”
- Have we forgotten Phil already?
- Lynda glazes Ian
- Oliver lives!
- Enough already, Kenton and Jolene
Nigel’s racing mice
Kenton is proving to be quite a responsible and nice chap these days – well, at least when it comes to his niece and nephew.
He’s taken Lily and Freddie to the Science Museum today. Although they didn’t want to stay long (they do worry about mummy), but Kenton did have time to tell them of some happy memories about their father.
Kenton told them about Nigel’s racing mice.
[Kenton] “He even got Shula knitting them little racing jerseys …”
Freddie was quite tickled to realise that this wasn’t a childhood hobby – it was his dad in his thirties.
Ah Nigel. You did make us giggle.
Classic ghost stories aren’t appropriate
According to Elizabeth.
She seems to be quite annoyed that Lily is engrossed in a book – and thinks she shouldn't be reading it because it’s a ghost story. Even though Kenton reckons it’s a classic.
What’s wrong? The book itself (which we didn’t get to hear the title of), or that Lily is engrossed?
Will no-one think of Eileen Titcombe?
According to Elizabeth, one of the results of Lily having her head in a book is her not keeping her bedroom today.
Which just simply isn’t fair on Eileen and her vacuum.
Quite.
(though “vacuum” shows Elizabeth’s class – it’s most definitely a hoover in ma hoose!)
Royalty and a gluten free lady
Phew! Ian is going to have his work cut out for him.
And doesn’t he sound nervous.
Do Royalty use the toilet?
Lynda certainly seems to think so, and she’d be one I’d trust to know.
[Lynda] “Have you given any thought to the cloakroom arrangements?”
For goodness sake woman! Not content with forcing your way back onto shift, you now want to go to the toilet with Camilla.
Enough already. You’ll only embarrass yourself.
“I can’t settle to anything”
With the kids off to the Science Museum, Elizabeth has time to think.
Which isn’t comfortable for her at all.
[Jill] “Darling, it is how it is, I’m afraid, You're going to feel like that for a good while yet … it’s when there’s nothing to do and you’re by yourself. You start thinking.”
Have we forgotten Phil already?
Not quite, as the year anniversary of his death was on a non-eavesdropping day.
Quite startling to compare Nigel’s horrific to Phil’s rather gently fitting death.
But then again, Phil wouldn’t have been daft enough to have gone up on that roof.
Playing the piano to pigs was more his style.
Lynda glazes Ian
Lynda just isn’t going to give up on her dreams of a close brush with Camilla.
Being caught by Ian practising the moment she is introduced to Camilla:
[Lynda] “On wants to have a few conversational gambits to the ready … I have discovered the most similarities between her life and mine”
Seemingly Lynda reckons they will be bosom buddies are they are both grandmothers, and have a grandchild born in October.
Lynda seems to have missed the point that she isn’t actually due to be introduced during the Royal visit.
[Caroline] “You've got that glazed look Ian. What’s she been saying?”
[Ian] “Something about babies and being presented to the Duchess …”
[Caroline] “What? She’s not satisfied with being on the desk. She’s trying to gate-crash the tea now!”
Oliver lives!
Hurrah! He has been spotted tasting Ian’s samples of the food he’ll cook for Camilla.
Phew. I was about to head round to dig up Caroline’s patio.
Must say that he is being a tad useless. Didn’t he hand over the reins to Ed so that he could be of more use to Caroline at Grey Gables?
Enough already, Kenton and Jolene
[Kenton] “We’ll have to get together after the event and compare notes”
Kenton’s checking when Jolene’s has her days off, so that they can get together again to see how they did during Valentine’s.
[Kenton] “See who did best at fleecing the gullible romantics of Borchester”
Fair enough. They’re in the same trade. They’re both having Valentine’s themed evenings. And they have time on their hands.
One should never assume that just because two folks are single and spending time together that they’re being, or heading towards being, ‘intimate’ – but surely these two are making enough hints collectively for one of them to do something about it?
I reckon they would make a grand couple.
Even though Kenton would – yet again – be under the shadow of Saint Sid.
- Did David not learn after the roof?
- What sort of car will Pip get?
- And still no bloomin tray!
- Kenton on the rest of ‘em
- From kissing trays to loud shouting
- Shula and Jill on the rest of ‘em
- Nigel knew how to open mouths
Did David not learn after the roof?
What part of not doing potentially dangerous stuff in the dark/bad conditions did David not understand?
This time, he’s out first thing, in the dark, repairing a shed.
That man is a complete idiot sometimes.
What sort of car will Pip get?
Hard to tell what David and Ruth will buy her for her birthday.
Something practical or girly?
And still no bloomin tray!
No wonder David is having such a hard time with this wedding if he can’t even track down a tray.
[David] “I just wish this retched wedding wasn’t hanging over me like the sword of Damocles”
And boy, does that sword come down with a crash later on …
Kenton on the rest of ‘em
[Kenton on Jolene] “she has a really easy manner, but she still gets things done!
Which Shula reckons is also a good description of Kenton himself.
[Kenton on David] “Like a terrier with a bone over this wedding … growls whenever me or Lewis goes near him”
[Kenton on Elizabeth] “seems hell bent on running himself into the ground”
At least Shula seems sane enough these days …
From kissing trays to loud shouting
David’s rummaging through random boxes of stuff at Lower Loxley in an attempt to (finally) find the right tray for the wedding cake.
As he’s about to go spare at the lack of said tray, he finally founds one and plants a big kiss on it, right in front of Kenton.
So, job done?
Ah – turns out that’s not the end of the great tray saga. As Kenton points out to David, the cake could be round, or square, or any other shape that the blushing bride has set her heart on!
That news is just too much for David:
[David] “Square? It can’t be square! It my head it’s always been round! The stupid woman never said”
[Kenton] “Well, did you ask her? … I’m sorry David, you should have. You can’t plan a wedding on a wing and a prayer”
[David] “I do my best alright, but I’m NOT A FLAMING WEDDING PLANNER!
(big crash as David throws the tray)
“I’M A FARMER!
“ I.
“DO.
“FARMING!!!
“I DO FARMING!
“I’M OUT OF MY DEPTH, ALRIGHT!
“… I’ve got to get it right.
[Kenton] “Yeah, I know. For Elizabeth.”
[David] “For Nigel …”
Phew! David was go to blow at some point, and I’m glad it was with Kenton. If there’s someone who knows how to handle erratic shouting, it’s him 9after all those years with Kathy!).
Kenton then finds Nigel’s gorilla suit, calming both of them down. He then tries to placate David by saying how much more David is needed to help manage the estate, and that wedding planning is:
[Kenton] “boring and any idiot can go through the list”
[David, on what he thought wedding planning would be like] “ if not easy, at least logical. And then I encountered ‘The Mother of the Bride’ …”
[David] “I’m just in the stage where I want to throw dung at everyone … you know when a footballer wears a suit, and you just want to say no mate, it’s all wrong, go and put your strip on … that’s how I feel. I’m the wrong fit … you should MC it,”
[Kenton] “You don’t know how happy I am to hear you say that”
[David] “You’d do it much better than me, you old charmer. I’m sorry I bit your head off.”
[Kenton] “It’s the right decision and it takes a big man to say it”
Kenton sounded over the moon to be taking over the wedding – he finally gets to do something practical for Elizabeth, that he’s actually good at.
And at long last, David’s accepted that he can’t be everything for everyone. Ruth will be glad to hear that …
And just in the middle of their joy, Mrs Barrington-Hughes called David:
[David] “Can I pass you over to my … boss … Kenton … it’s been a pleasure working with you too”
[Kenton] “(under his breath: Cometh the hour, cometh the man) … Mrs Barrington-Hall, Kenton Archer at your service”
Shula and Jill on the rest of ‘em
Shula’s worried about Ruth trying to hold everything together by herself (at last! Someone, apart from Brian, has remembered Ruth exists!)
[Shula] “She told me he’s started making mistakes on the farm, but he won’t let up”
[Jill] “Neither will Elizabeth. She can’t just plunge in like this, surely, she has a weak heart”
Oh – there’s a point.
The twins surely won’t be left to the mercy of the trustees …????
Nigel knew how to open mouths
Helen finally takes Henry to meet Elizabeth – and he did manage to cheer her up a bit.
Elizabeth tried an old trick that Nigel used to use on the twins to get their mouths to open.
Seemingly, if you stroke a baby’s top lip, they’ll open right up.
Which worked nicely on Henry.
There you go. The Archers – practical help for parents.
- No problem with the will
- David doesn’t want Kenton …
- … but Jolene does
- “Ye Gods!”
- No tomatoes in Ambridge?
- Jill’s worried again
- Trouble in store for Freddie and Lily?
No problem with the will
Elizabeth already knows what’s in Nigel’s will, as she’s an executor.
David doesn’t want Kenton …
Kenton offers again to help out with the business side of Lower Loxley, but David’s having none of it.
In fact, he’s downright rude to Kenton.
[Kenton] “I’ve had a lot more experience with that sort of thing”
[David] “What, running a bar!?!”
[Kenton] “Well, with our private bookings, I know the sort of thing to expect …”
[David] “Are you saying I’m not up to the job?”
[Kenton] “No, not all.”
[David] “ … because I’m fine Kenton,. It’s just common sense. It’s all under control.”
Well, there was no need for that, David Archer.
There’s more folks than just you who need to work off their sense of guilt.
… but Jolene does
I’m not sure exactly what Jolene did to perk up Kenton after David shouted him done (for only offering to help), but it did the trick.
(actually, it sounded like it was just a coffee).
Upset that David had acted:
[Kenton] “Like I accused him of being a bad parent, or something”
Kenton also wants to avoid making the same mistake that he feels he made when Sid died.
As much as I hardly think Elizabeth and the twins would get upset with Kenton having a one night stand (Jamie seemingly still isn’t talking to him), it sounds like he has realised that even just being in the same room helps. With Jamie and Kathy, he was always at Jaxx.
So, Kenton wants to do more at Lower Loxley so that Elizabeth and the twins know that they can depend on him
[Jolene] “You’re a good man Kenton … we all make mistakes … but if you can learn from them …”
[Kenton] “I do seem to make more than most”
[Jolene] “That’s cause you’re always doing. It’s easier to get nothing wrong if you never doing anything in the first place”
Later on:
[Jolene] “You gotta deal with your own grief … it’s all very well looking after everyone else, but you gotta think of yourself too”
[Kenton] “But here … it’s just a good place to be”
Whether Kenton and Jolene get together or not, it’s nice that Kenton has someone who doesn’t think he’s an idiot or blame him for being a tad flaky at times.
“Ye Gods!”
Which was David’s cry as he realised that planning a large society wedding really isn’t that simple.
No cheesecake – how many kids? – where does the photographer take the pictures?
Yup – all common sense, and simple tasks. But, stack them all up together, realise that you should have asked the client in the first place … David’s common sense just isn’t making up for his lack of experience.
Shouldn’t have been so rude to Kenton after all, eh David?
No tomatoes in Ambridge?
Tom’s sausages and bacon – Pat’s yoghurt – and Mike’s milk for the cereals.
But no local tomatoes for The Bull’s Farmhouse Breakfast.
I’m surprised no local entrepreneur hasn’t seen that one right.
Anyhoo, at least Jolene and Kenton got a laugh out of writing the copy for the breakfast menu:
“Eggs from hens that scratch freely in the shadow of Lakey Hill!”
(I know – I didn’t think it was that funny either. Still, it made them smile)
Jill’s worried again
Despite Elizabeth now knowing she’s secure for her lifetime, Jill can’t help worrying.
She really doesn’t want Elizabeth to get back to work – but Elizabeth reckons Lower Loxley’s brand is all about her (and previously Nigel) being hands on.
I think maybe getting back to work might actually help Elizabeth.
After all, getting “back to reality” helped Lily and Freddie.
But then again, Jill is always right.
Trouble in store for Freddie and Lily?
Is it just me, or was there no mention of what happens to Lower Loxley when Elizabeth eventually passes over to Nigel?
[Jill] “But the main thing is that you’re secure for your lifetime”
Hmmm.
Trouble with the trustees for Lily and Freddie?
- Jill gets a result
- The slow dance of Jolene and Kenton
- Dismissed by Elizabeth
- Is there anyone not feeling guilty?
- That’s why she’s Saint Shula
Jill gets a result
That’s the thing with Jill. She’s generally right.
It felt a bit too soon to me too, but Jill was insistent with Elizabeth that the kids should go back to school on Monday.
Elizabeth isn’t ready, but Jill wants thinks it:
[Jill] “might help to have something normal … take their mind of it”
[Elizabeth] ““Normal? How can anything be normal? … I wish I could forget, just for a second.”
But Jill also thinks I’d help Elizabeth if she had time to herself.
[Jill] “off to school, then you can cry, scream, whatever you want”
I’m not too sure if Elizabeth was just too tired to argue, but she agrees.
Mum does know best.
The slow dance of Jolene and Kenton
Jolene has sent a card to Elizabeth, and Kenton was very touched that she also send him a card.
It must be tough for him. The best friend isn’t really the focal point after a death
[Kenton] “Jolene, who is going to make me laugh now, eh?”
[Kenton] “All those miserable so-and-sos that there are in the world, and God takes the funny ones”
Jolene agreed, as she missed Sid for the same reason (eh? Sid, funny? I can only assume she meant funny peculiar, than funny ha ha)
Later on, Jolene bumps into Kenton again.
He finally speaks about the fact that it was his idea to put the banner up in the first place. So he thinks it was his fault.
[Jolene] “If you think like that, it’ll drive you crazy … all this guilt, it’s no use to anybody”
Actually – I think Kenton does have a point.
It was his idea. It was his knot that Nigel couldn’t undo. If he hadn’t been busy at Jaxx the next day, the banner would have never come to mind that night. And if he had gone up rather than David, he’d have sorted his own knot.
BUT. I’m not saying it is his fault. Just that I can see why he has more right to feel guilty than many.
Anyway, so off Jolene and Kenton trotted for a wee walk up Lakey Hill.
Where many a mickle has made a muckle …
Dismissed by Elizabeth
Jill had called a family meeting, but Elizabeth interrupted it (while supposed to be having a rest) and sent them all packing.
She wasn’t aggressive about it. She just wanted to have some time to herself with her kids. And for everyone else to get a break from her, plus spend time at their own homes.
Elizabeth has even called Alan to arrange the funeral.
Progress already?
Is there anyone not feeling guilty?
Kenton – because he suggested the banner in the first place
David – because he insisted they went up on the roof that night
And now Ruth:
[Ruth] “my very first thought … thank god it wasn’t David … how do you make it makes me feel that I could be so selfish?”
Ruth also feels guilty that it’s David supporting Elizabeth when he’s also going through immense grief and guilt.
(from previous days, we can also add:
Helen - feels guilty for being happy about Harry
Pat – ditto
Pip – for also being thankful it wasn’t David)
Mass suicide pact in Ambridge?
That’s why she’s Saint Shula
After Elizabeth had told everyone to leave, she was confused to find Shula in her kitchen, getting lunch ready.
Shula knows what Elizabeth’s going through – and also knows her sister too well.
[Shula] “…I remember doing exactly the same thing when mark died … i thought it’d be alright, but I wasn’t”
[Elizabeth]
“It took every ounce of courage I possessed to ring Alan.
“To say the words … just a word, how will I deal with the reality?
“ … I don’t know how to deal with the pain, the emptiness., I feel like I’m falling into a black hole ...
“ I don’t know how to carry on without Nigel.
I don’t think I can do it”
Add to that Elizabeth also feels she’s dragging the kids down with her, and we have a very frightening set of emotions.
But, Shula wouldn’t let that happen. As she showed today, she’s not going to let Elizabeth fall too far – and she has the experience which really matters.
As much as Saint Shula was named for her rather odious sense of righteousness, I suppose we can also give her the title for being rather wonderful in this crisis.
And the saddest thing … it normally have been Nigel hiring in harpists to cheer Elizabeth up.
*sniff*
The Archers: Tony’s got to scrape the yard … Helen’s making a batch of Borchester Blue … seemingly it isn’t okay to eat takeaway for breakfast (I beg to differ!)
- Kenton and Jolene off to lunch again
- “walking the path of sinfulness”
- Helen’s baby is too small
- Eddie is innocent
- Is Tony coming round?
Kenton and Jolene off to lunch again
Kenton and Jolene happen to bump into each other. Kenton suggests Jolene goes to lunch with him at Jaxx, and Jolene agrees.
Doesn’t sound like the start of a steamy romance, but you just never know …
I must say that Jolene does seem to have a high tolerance for Kenton’s rather dated and rubbish sense of humour:
[when Kenton was pretending to be a guitar, Jolene:] “You’re a natural”
Hmmm. I’d have other words for it …
Anyhoo, Jolene was saying to Kenton that she feels she got more energy now.
Just in time for a steamy time with Mr K Archer?
“walking the path of sinfulness”
Kenton has a slight concern that he’ll be struck down by the Almighty as he tries to enter His house on Sunday (for the advent service).
Carrying on the religious theme, Kenton also calls David:
“my angelic little brother”
Interesting.
Is Kenton developing a conscience?
Helen’s baby is too small
I found it very odd that Pat didn’t notice Helen was close to tears at first (maybe that’s why Helen tends to hold it all in, in the first place).
But at least we now know why Helen was being a bit off after she had been to see the midwife.
Seemingly her baby is small for the stage it is at.
And Helen’s worried it’s her fault, for doing too much exercise.
[Helen] “For once in my life I just wanted something to go right for me”
[Pat] “Babies are really robust little things – they can hope with a lot (p)
[Pat] “You just have to realise, you can’t control everything”
[Helen] “I’m damaging it before it’s even been born”
Cripes. And there was me thinking Helen’s kid would only need specialist treatment from a psychiatrist.
Eddie is innocent
Eddie’s still protesting that he knew nothing about the gloop in the bucket he threw over Sabrina.
Nathan’s demonstrating his guilt by quitting the Panto.
Nathan claims he “couldn’t work in such an unprofessional environment”, but I think we can guess that he knew Eddie would do anything and everything to get him back. So probably best he wasn’t on stage in front of an audience when that happened.
Still, Eddie’s had to pay £45 to get Sabrina’s top dry cleaned. Which surely Eddie will get back through Karma – after all, Eddie only stung Nathan for trying to rip off a charity.
Is Tony coming round?
Pat’s talking to Tony about her concerns over Helen:
[Pat] “I think there’s something a lot deeper going on … she’s terrified that something awful is going to happen … because it always does, she said”
[Pat] “When you think how many things have gone wrong in her life … she’s desperate for something to go right at last … she’s pinning so much on this baby”
[Tony] “But it’s alright, we’ll look after her … both of us”
Does Tony really mean that?
The Archers: Kenton and Jolene go shopping … Jazzer burns the porridge … Tom’s an irritant
- Ruth and Pip tackle a right cow
- Kenton and Jolene have it large
- I Love The Bull has had an impact, but …
- The Blues Brothers is like pulling on an old jumper
- Pip plays in tribute
- Will a Harry/Jazzer combo be better than Jim?
- Tom’s sparky ideas
- All because of a tuna bake …
Ruth and Pip tackle a right cow
[Pip] “I’m fine with it, and she’s not very big”
[Ruth] “I want to trim round the buds, don’t want the iron clogging up”
While the poor cow gets seen to, Ruth has yet another go at Pip about College.
Maybe it’s just me, but Pip does seem to have settled down. So surely Ruth can trust her to make her decision.
And hasn’t Ruth learned that nagging Pip makes her do the exact opposite?
Kenton and Jolene have it large
Well, not quite, but Kenton seemed to be in fine feckle as he was driving himself and Jolene to the bar supplier.
“It’s 12 miles to weighbridge, tank full of gas and a packet of cheese and onion”
That’s Kenton’s version of The Blues Brothers.
“Sorry, I’ll shut up”
That’s Kenton apologising to Jolene for playing the fool.
“If I can find the right novelty cocktail shakers, the hordes will start flooding in”
That’s Kenton jesting.
After their relatively fruitful supplier shopping – it involved red leather banquettes, serviettes, colouring sheers (for the kiddies) and a dancing penguin, Kenton and Jolene sit down for a pub lunch.
Which was served with a side of guilt for Jolene.
She felt she shouldn’t be enjoying herself when she should’ve been at work.
But, since Bonfire night, Jolene has been a bit down again.
“Two steps forward, one step back with me at the moment”
And while it’s been good for Jolene to have a day out, it’s also been a day full of Sid reminders.
First The Blues Brothers. Then the fact that she hasn’t gone shopping for the pub since she went to New Zealand with Sid.
Still – Kenton seemed to be doing a grand old job of cheering Jolene up.
What with his wind up dancing penguin and polar bear shaped ice cubes, Kenton had Jolene laughing and gwaffing.
Good. That’s a dramatic improvement on the shadow of a woman that has been Jolene.
And do we think these two could become more than just bar supply shopping buddies???
We Love The Bull has had an impact, but …
Jolene says that Christmas bookings in the restaurant are down.
What more can we do?
513 supporters on Facebook
580 on Twitter
What else could we be doing???
The Blues Brothers is like pulling on an old jumper
According to Jolene.
She was talking about how she and Sid used to love watching The Blues Brothers. Sid even used to sing along.
Now why didn’t we get to eavesdrop to such golden moments?
As Kenton put it:
“That must be the hardest part – losing those sort of moments”
Maybe it’s better Jolene does have some memories that are just her own.
Pip plays in tribute
Valda is teaching Pip how to play ‘Waiting for Wonder’ for the Advent service.
As it’s the first time Pip’s granddad (Phil) isn’t there to play at the service.
“If I can manage, it would feel like a real tribute”
Aw! It’s as if Jude had never happened.
Will a Harry/Jazzer combo be better than Jim?
Hmmm.
While Jim was a bit too academic in his questions, I have grave doubts about Harry and Jazzer’s ability to be joint Quiz Master.
Especially considering the hoo-ha later on today.
Tom’s sparky ideas
As well as thoroughly irritating Tony, Tom’s also doing Jazzer’s “head in”.
And when Tom annoys Tony, everyone suffers:
[Jazzer] “He’s going about like a boar with an itchy backside who’s just seen his favourite scratching post burst into flames”
All because of a tuna bake …
Harry offer to make tuna bake for Jazzer.
Jazzer doesn’t seem to really fancy it, so decides to make porridge instead.
“Only time to eat porridge is for a sesh … it lines the stomach”
Harry later arrives home to find Jazzer was cooking his porridge, but forgot about it when chatting on the phone with one of his lady friends.
Forgotten porridge still cooking = one ruined pan.
And one very … VERY … annoyed Harry.
[Harry] “you’ve wrecked my new cast iron pond and bent one of my chefs knives”
[Harry] “DON’T INTERRUPT” (followed by a very loud bang as he slammed, what I assume, was the aforementioned pan)
[Jazzer] “Mooth shutting up noo …”
And I have to give Jazzer credit for so quickly realising that the best tactic was to be humble rather than argumentative.
Harry then let rip about all of Jazzer’s faults.
That he is a “dustbin … blasts music … helps self to food … don’t cook clean or shop” and now has
“Just destroyed best two bits of cookware I ever had!”
Oh, the humanity!
[Jazzer] “Aye, that was unfortunate”
[Harry] “Take take take, never a thought for anyone else”
[Jazzer] “How did you no drop some kind of hint … I thought you were just mithering on like ma ma – you should have just came straight out with it”
[Jazzer] “Don’t worry about your wee pot and knife”
But Jazzer soon changed his tune when he realised that it would take £100 to replace the pot and knife.
“A hundred quid for 2 bits of tin … phew, that’s a lot of beer”
However, Jazzer was also aware that he’d finally pushed his luck with Harry:
[Jazzer] “I can do thoughtful and helping”
[Harry] “If you really want to prove it … there’s something you can do for someone else … and it’s simply not negotiable”
Oo-er! Could that be related to a Panto, per chance?
I am glad that Harry has shown he’s human, but, when he finally stood up for himself, he was a tad scary.
I’ll say it again – who really is this Harry bloke???
