The tale of two Simnel cakes: Sun 31.03.13 #thearchers

Pondering The Archers Sunday 31st march 2013

• Feeding the early Easter risers
• Topical alter … another clock reminder
• The organ is sticking
• Jennifer’s still horrified by Alice
• Where’s everyone for Easter?
• The Easter Egg hunt
• Two Simnel cakes … twice the fun
• Ed’s milk leaflets do not impress Clarrie
• Pip’s back to old habits
• Clarrie sounds a bit different

The Archers Wed 29th Dec 2010: Nigel disappoints Elizabeth but delights Lynda

• Tony wants to give his cows a footbath
• Complicated?
• Sparks for Heather and Jim?
• Nae need for Worchester
• Tom’s right (ugh!)
• The horror of rouge on a white wig
• Tony’s not surprised
• Parrots and bosoms

Tony wants to give his cows a footbath

With the whole family working from Bridge Farm buying with getting orders done in time for New Year, Pat’s quite put-out that Tony wants to give his cows a footbath.

Tony is in overdrive in an attempt to avoid and forget his argument with Helen, but Pat also reckons that this time of year is always bad for Tony.

He gets down due to the lack of daylight.

Did I hear that right? Could we have a happier Tony if we bought him one of those SAD lights?

That’d be brilliant. It might also stop his egomania and paranoia.

Tony’s heard that Helen spent yesterday tidying Ambridge Organic’s stock room, then putting up curtains. So, Tony concludes that Helen wasn’t really tired at Ian’s party.

Oh for goodness sake! You’re as bad as each other.


Complicated?

David’s an odd ‘un sometimes.

What’s so complicated about Ruth driving Heather and Pip to the train station, with Pip then driving Ruth back?



Sparks for Heather and Jim?

Never mind the 60th Anniversary and ‘Shakes Ambridge to the Core’ (SATTC) – what happened between Heather and Jim?


Nae need for Worchester

Nigel’s on again about the brooch he found. Which he wants to give to Elizabeth at New Year, but needs to get it cleaned in time.

I still don’t get the big deal. Here’s hoping the brooch has some sort of curse … turning Elizabeth into a Julia Pargetter clone!

Running out of options, Nigel was facing even having to go as far as Worchester to get it sorted.

But David saves the day – he knows a retired chap in Felpersham who Nigel manages to get the broach to.

Phew!

I was worried there (!).




Tom’s right (ugh!)

I am very concerned that the whole ‘situation’ between Helen and Tony is resulting in Tom coming across as a rational and kinda nice guy.

What is the world coming to?

Tom was right that Helen’s protest against everyone fussing was better than them not fussy at all – AND he manages to persuade Helen to at least go out with their mates before the bells at New Year.

Helen’s refusing to go to Bridge Farm for the bells – instead wants to stay at home, and be in bed by 10pm. Which is quite a common reaction for quite a lot of folks to New Year celebrations.

[Helen] “Mum will be disappointed I know, I’m sorry … It’d only be more of the same … what make things up? No. No matter how many presents he buys, deep down he just can’t change the way he feels about the baby”

Tom did well to get Helen to change her mind to at least go out for a bit, but had to admit defeat in getting her to Bridge Farm.

I actually feel sorry for Tom stuck between Pat/Tony and Helen. And I feel sorry for myself that I’m starting to have a grudging respect for Tom in how he’s coping and dealing with such a rift in his family.


The horror of rouge on a white wig

Lynda calls Nigel, just as he’s returning from his dash to Felpersham on his brooch mission, in an utter flap about his wig.

It would seem that there is rouge on Nigel’s dame white wedding wig, which an attempt has been made upon to clean, resulting in a wig that now looks like dreadlocks.

The travesty!

[Lynda] “It would ruin the artistic unity of the scene ... surely I don’t have to explain the symbolism!”

Despite Nigel trying to stop Lynda corralling him into returning to Felpersham to get a new wig, and despite knowing that he’ll be in deep trouble with Elizabeth for disappearing from all the work at Lower Loxley for so long, Nigel heads back for the wig.

Well – what’s a roasting from Elizabeth when you have Lynda on your back during Panto time?

[Lynda] “The entire artistic endeavour of this Panto depends on you. Goodbye!”

[Nigel] “Well when you put it like that, it’s a case of turn again, Pargetter, I suppose”

Tony’s not surprised

And actually sounds like he doesn’t care.

[Tony] “It hardly comes as a great surprise to hear that Helen doesn’t want to see me … what’s the point … just leave it”

Tony now expects Helen to avoid him, and doesn’t seem interested in trying to mend their relationship.

My word – Tony is hardly Father of the Year! I always thought parents never gave up on their kids …


Parrots and bosoms

At tonight’s Panto, David’s parrot needs to be sorted so that it doesn’t keep getting caught on his earring.

And:

[Nigel] “Are my bosoms straight?”

[David] “They are spectacular!”

Just a few more *snort* moments to keep us a bit chirpy post-Christmas.

The Archers Mon 20th Dec 2010: *sigh* Helen’s still frosty

• “Vicky was a godsend”
• Kenton’s spreading himself around for Christmas
• Jim and Ruth’s mum?
• Now they’re just trying to wind us up!
• “Rick Turnip at the ready”
• That’s better, Tony
• Helen’s a stubborn one

“Vicky was a godsend”

So says Pat.

So have we got Vicky wrong? Is she actually a useful human being after all?



Kenton’s spreading himself around for Christmas

Ah, the joys of being single at Christmas.

It sounds like Kenton’s going to be doing mini visits to the whole family.

Nice to hear that Shula still visits the Hebden’s at this time of year.

Here’s hoping the snow doesn’t finally arrive in Ambridge, trapping everyone inside with their nearest and dearest …


Jim and Ruth’s mum?

That could be an interesting one.

Jim’s taking Heather out to Jaxx, despite it being very busy with office parties.

Is there romance in the air?

Probably not.

Considering Kenton & Jolene, Kenton & Kirsty, Kirsty & Patrick, Fallon & Jazzer, Fallon & Harry, Helen & … well …any man – it hasn’t quite been a year for new couples.

Teasers!


Now they’re just trying to wind us up!

Elizabeth knows full well that saying she’s bought a top of the range mobile phone for her eleven year old daughter was bound to annoy us eavesdroppers!

Almost makes one glad it’s stuck in the post …




“Rick Turnip at the ready”

Looks like Kenton’s Mystery Highway Man is a roaring success.

Elizabeth was hooting was laughter, as he jumped out on some unsuspecting wee kids for a newspaper photographer, and it seems to be bringing in the punters.

Not sure how a Highway Man fits into the Christmas theme of Deck the Halls (maybe because it’s a period piece), but each to their own.

Just a shame they manage, for the second year in a row, to get publicity in the local newspaper just at the very end of their efforts.



That’s better, Tony

It was hard to tell if Tony’s new effort as a gift for Helen was actually any good or not – Ian’s the sort of chap to be nice about anything.

But it sounded quite lovely.

And it was nice to hear Tony talking like a dad again. He made mention of the amount of time Helen had to spend on her cot because of her splints (she was born with a dislocated hip). And that’s why he choose a mobile for her baby – something interesting and colourful to like at from the cot.

And blimey – Tony’s even managed to make sure it matches the new nursery décor!

Helen wasn’t in when Tony went round with his present. When he speaks to Pat later, she isn’t sure whether Tony should have popped round again later, rather than just leaving it …

Pat also had no idea that Tony had been trying to make amends. So equally, she didn’t know that yesterday was yet another disaster:

[Tony] “Yes well, the thought was there … but it was dreadful Pat …it was humiliating, I felt like a real idiot.”

[Pat] “What happened?”

[Tony] “You know how she gets … she shut down …I suppose she thought if I didn’t remember I didn’t care … I could kick myself for not remembering … but I thought I was doing a good thing”

On Pat asking why he didn’t mention it to her – as she’d have been able to remind him that he’d seen the baby monitor she’d already bought for herself:

[Tony] “I wanted to do something for her completely off my own bat, just for once. Hopefully I’ve got it right this time”

Okay. Fair enough Tony.

You did your best, but managed to get muddled. And you do deserve more effort from Helen.

I suppose it isn’t too late to try and make up for your mistakes.

Tony also decides not to go back round to see Helen, or to phone her. Which leaves the ball entirely in her court




Helen’s a stubborn one

Who’d have thought it, being the daughter of Pat and Tony …

Despite thinking that the mobile is “gorgeous”, Helen still won’t give Tony any credit.

She thinks this is all Pat’s doing.

As Tony spends an anxious evening waiting for his phone to ring, it seems unlikely that Helen’s going to forgive him until she realises that he is trying.

What a useless pair!