The Archers Monday 24th December 2012
- Neil asks Ruth to talk to Ed
- The Elizabethan Christmas Extravaganza is a sell out!
- Deck the Halls has left the building
- The food panic buying for Christmas
- Mike manages to get his arms around Vicky
Neil asks Ruth to talk to Ed
Neil reckoned Ruth would be the best person to help Ed with the management of his dairy business. Ed agreed, but asked Neil if he’s asked Ruth.
(maybe that’s one of the reason’s Ed’s been struggling. He’s not capable of even asking a clo0se neighbour and friend for help)
[Neil] “I must say I really think that YOU could help him.”
Ruth agrees, but wishes Neil had chosen a better day to discuss this than the day before Christmas …
[Neil] “His money management, his cashflow, is almost non-existent … the milk cheque’s spent before he’s had it.”
Seems Ed is also behind in his rent, though Oliver has been “understanding”.
Ruth’s very keen to help. Though I hope it can wait til after Christmas. David’s taken time off especially!
The Elizabethan Christmas Extravaganza is a sell out!
Kenton’s secret guerrilla stickering worked a treat.
Deck the Halls has left the building
Well, that was a bit of a non-entity this year.
We only really got to follow James and Leonie round Deck the Halls. Once.
Now they’re packing up.
[David] “What’s this, Deck the Hall with bits of lorry?”
[Elizabeth] “The poor things have to get to the ferry or they’ll never make it home for Christmas.”
If Nigel had been alive, it would have been far more magical …
The food panic buying for Christmas
[Elizabeth] “Mum’s always had this morbid fear of not having enough, now Shula’s getting as bad.”
David was charged with taking over Jill’s store of food to Lower Loxley. But:
[David] “Mum’s labelling system is something out of MI5.”
He’s grabbed the real mince pies for the Elizabethan Christmas Extravaganza rather than the sweet mince pies.
Oops.
David and Elizabeth seems to be revelling in each other’s company these days. They reminisce about Christmases past – when they were kids, and David used to steal food from the kitchen.
It’ll be a grand Archer Christmas after all.
Mike manages to get his arms around Vicky
Mike and Vicky are also revelling in each other’s company.
Vicky’s used the oils Mike gave her, and he reckons she smells, as well as looks, lovely. He puts his arms right round her, and their ever growing belly.
Aw.
They then have a wee dance together.
[Vicky] “All right then. Let’s give it a go … so, is it like dancing with a block of flats?”
[Mike] “It’s like dancing with the most beautiful woman in the world.”
[Vicky] “It’s going to be different next Christmas.”
They’ll have their baby girl, who will have her stocking, and be surrounded by toys come Christmas morning (not that she’ll know what on earth is going on!). It’s something Vicky has always dreamt of.
Mike tries to tell Vicky that they can’t assume anything as yet.
[Vicky] “It’s alright Mike, I just like believing, that’s alright.”
(Vicky said this while a song with Believe in the lyrics was being played. I know Vicky can be corny, but come on!)
The Archers Wednesday 12th December 2012
- George now knows he won’t be home for Christmas
- Disco in the Library!
- Bob Pullen has bronchitis
- Elizabeth and Ifty?
- Ed leaves Will to Emma
- Jill and Kenton have a secret
George now knows he won’t be home for Christmas
George was wondering why they haven’t got a Christmas tree at Rickyard.
It’s because he’s moving. But hasn’t been told as yet.
Ed and Emma decide to tell him, with Ed neatly sidestepping the problem to leave Emma to do it.
Bizarrely – Emma tells George the reason for moving is to give Keira her own room. As if George needed any new reason to feel she’s the favoured child.
But, Emma made George excited by telling him all the wonders of Susan and Neil’s (bigger room for George, Sky TV and the like).
So, now they only have to tell Will …
Disco in the Library!
Sounds fantastic.
Lucky twins!
It’s Freddie and Lilly’s 13th birthday.
They’ve got their mates over.
BUT Elizabeth forgot to cancel Freddie’s math lesson with Ifty.
Though Ifty doesn’t seem too perturbed. Though he refuses cake, he would like a wander round Deck the Halls.
Elizabeth joins him …
Bob Pullen has bronchitis
Poor Bob!
He’s now in hospital.
Though I’m sure he’ll enjoy his visits from Jill and Christine.
Though at his age, this all seems very ominous …
Elizabeth and Ifty?
They seemed very cosy as they were walking round Deck the Halls. And seemed to click from word go.
Ifty also told Elizabeth his dad died when he was 14. Something which (I don’t think) he’d even told Jim during his Borchester Life interview.
I wonder …
Ed leaves Will to Emma
What a wuss Ed is being. He leaves George to Emma, and refuses to also talk to Will. Ed just wants Will to “find out”.
Emma plays it sensibly, and approaches Nic first.
Emma can be a brave lass sometimes. She told Nic everything – the reason why they have to move.
[Nic] “Oh you poor thing. I wish you’d told me sooner.”
Nic reassures Emma that she doesn’t need to worry and Will. She’ll tell him, and make sure he behaves.
As only Nic can do!
Jill and Kenton have a secret
Kenton’s worried about the Elizabethan Christmas Extravaganza. Tickets still aren’t selling.
[Kenton] “It’s bordering on disaster, We need to take some serious action … we need to give the punters more than ‘hey nonny nonny’ and inedible food!”
Jill was quite offended at that. She’s doing the food!
But Kenton explains that he thinks the show needs to me “more fun”. Things like “piping in the potatoes”.
(oh such japers!)
We aren’t told exactly what Kenton has in mind, but he needs more Elizabethan costumes and tatties. And it’s all a secret with Jill.
Interesting …
The Archers Tuesday 4th December 2012
- Lynda explains Brawn
- James wants liveried footmen
- Shires Rare Breed
- The Elizabethan Christmas Extravaganza needs sausage rolls …
- Lynda sees a new side to James
- Matt likes James?
Lynda explains Brawn
The food for the Elizabethan Christmas extravaganza will be collar of Brawn marinated in spices, real mince pies, and marchpane made into “fancy shapes”.
[Robert] “I’m going to need an old English dictionary, what exactly is brawn?”
Lynda explains that brawn is basically boiled pork loin, real mince pies uses real mince and marchpane is marzipan.
[Robert] “So pork, mince pies and marzipan.”
Well, Lynda sniffed, there are other dishes. It’s all about the keynote dishes being authentic.
James wants liveried footmen to carry him round Deck the Halls.
He claims he’s joking …
James and Leonie then waffled on for a while, drinking Gluhwein. I fully admit I completely switched off …
Shires Rare Breed
Is what the Shires Brewery wants to rename the Lower Loxley rare Breed brand in return for sponsorship.
See what they did there?
Very clever (!).
Shires also want exclusive on drinks events.
Hmmm.
While Shires are punting this to Roy and Elizabeth as a ‘partnership’, it sounds like they’re taking a bigger bite that will tie up Lower Loxley. I only hope the value of their sponsorship is worth it.
The Elizabethan Christmas Extravaganza needs sausage rolls …
According to Leonie and James.
They reckon more ‘modern food is required for the Christmas show’. Like sausage rolls. Sandwiches. And chicken legs.
(Eh?)
Lynda tries to explain that the food has to be authentic to Elizabethan times. At which point, Leonie actually has a good suggestion …
… potatoes.
Potatoes were obviously an “exotic vegetables” back in the day. And they’re rather adaptable.
Chips it is!
(Lynda didn’t actually agree to chips … doubt she ever will)
Lynda sees a new side to James
[Lynda] “Is this really James, he’s being so nice to her.
[Robert] “And he’s letting her boss her around Robert”
[Lynda] “It’s just so nice to see them being in a balanced relationship.”
Now that’s interesting.
Lynda always tells Lilian that it’s James who bullies Leonie – now that she’s seen Leonie bullying James, she’s happy to bless their relationship.
(I wonder if she’ll ever admit that to Lynda.)
Seems James has also found his peace with Lynda:
[James] “I always find Lynda easier to manage after she’s had a glass or two”
(cheeky!)
Matt likes James?
When James and Leonie get back from Deck the Halls, they find Matt has left a present out for James.
A bottle of expensive cognac.
[James] “From Matt … ‘in case you feel like a night cap’ …. Don’t you find it just a little bit strange … now he’s started being so nice to me?”
[Leonie] “I know what a great and wonderful person you are. It’s just taken Matt a whole to see that too.”
Hmmm.
Matt’s never that straightforward.
The Archers Sunday 2nd December 2012
- Matt sooks up to Joyce
- The Community Orchard event
- Deck the Halls starts tomorrow
- George doesn’t know he’s moving
- Vicky and Mike have been practising breathing
Matt sooks up to Joyce
Matt’s round at Joyce’s, allegedly to make sure that her flat is exactly the way she wants it.
It has new central heating, draft proof windows and a new hallway carpet.
The kitchen has a special non slip flooring, which Joyce thinks us very smart.
All sorted?
Nope.
Joyce also wants grab rails. And to force on Matt exactly what he did to her and Arthur.
[Joyce] “Well, it’s just a shame it’s all come too late for Arthur … and I have to say Mr Crawford … perhaps if you’d gone to so much trouble keeping this place up to scratch, perhaps my Arthur could have enjoyed it too. Still, we can’t turn the clock back, more’s the pity.”
Matt actually sounded ashamed …
The Community Orchard event
Sounds very busy. Lots of screaming kids …
The kids are making streamers and their lanterns.
Vicky kisses Joe under the mistletoe (I kid you not!)
And there are tree fairies.
(in reality, just kids from the local dancing school. Tree fairies sound better)
Vicky worries the kids might be cold.
[Vicky] “In those costumes …”
[Hayley] “It’s quite mild today, As long as they keep moving, they’ll be alright.”
The Grundys also kept moving – they sold their last turkey!
Deck the Halls starts tomorrow
It’s Christmas!
George doesn’t know he’s moving
Ed and Emma haven’t told him.
Best do so, sharpish. Before Will does. Adding his own spin.
Vicky and Mike have been practising breathing
Before they go to bed.
We just don’t need to be told any further details …
The Archers Monday 12th November 2012
- Kenton’s NOT just excited about the models?
- Deck the halls!
- Kenton, the community chap
- Nil desperandum
- Joe has new teeth
- Joe has a class consciousness?
- Is Rhys invisible?
- Jim wants to put ribbons round the trees
- Nigel’s cane and scythe
Kenton’s NOT just excited about the models?
So he claims.
And we don’t mean the airfix variety neither.
It’s to be The Bull’s fashion show next Tuesday … Kenton reckons it’s making him feel Christmassy.
Aye, right then.
Deck the halls!
Yay!
I do love it when Deck the Halls gets a mention for the first time.
It means Christmas is on its way.
[Elizabeth] “I can’t believe we're there again already.”
But, this year, there will be no ice rink. Seems it costs too much.
Though there will be the German Market. So there will be Gluehwein.
Shame about this rink, but at least the string stuff will be flowing!
Kenton, the community chap
Kenton’s been asked (or he asked?) to switch the Ambridge Christmas lights on.
[Kenton] “I’m becoming quite the pillar of the community, I'll have you know.”
[Elizabeth] “God help us all!”
Nil desperandum
[Jim] “… never despair. There's worse things than a Monday morning.”
Indeed Jim.
I used to think a Sunday night when I was at school was worse than a Monday morning. Last of the Summer Wine was ruined by the thought of Double French.
Joe has new teeth
Hurrah!
Seems they’re comfy, and of normal hue.
[Jim] “At least we won’t be able to see you coming in the dark.”
Joe must be mightily relieved. Though Jim reminds him that most folks have more things to do:
[Jim] “Other than to admire your dental furniture.”
Joe has a class consciousness?
Seems Joe doesn’t approve of or buy Borchester Life.
[Joe] “By toffs for toffs, if you ask me.”
Then Jim tells him about his articles. About “interesting” Ambridge folks.
[Joe] “And you chose Mike Tucker ... well, if you're looking to interview someone else, wise old country gentleman who actually knows what he's on about …”
Ah – caught!
Jim reckons he couldn’t ask Joe to be a subject due to his “strong moral objections.”
[Jim] “Although I can quite understand your class consciousness.”
[Joe] “We could change it from the inside.”
Is Rhys invisible?
Kenton and Jolene ignore Rhys while they’re mucking around.
When Jim and Joe are talking about a community event in the Community Orchard (see below), Rhys suggests they could tell stories.
Everyone ignores him. Again.
Kenton comes into the conversation, and suggests storytelling. Which everyone agrees is a marvellous idea.
[Kenton] “It’s nice being useful.”
Jim wants to put ribbons round the trees
[Jim] “The idea is to celebrate trees in all their variety.”
Not sure why, but Jim wants to hold another day to celebrate the Community Orchard. Like the Apple Day, they just had.
Joe’s quite interested, though.
He could sell his holly and mistletoe.
(ah – it must really be Christmas soon!)
Nigel’s cane and scythe
Lewis and Elizabeth are having a look at the old dairy, to possibly turn into wedding accommodation.
Seems Nigel used to squirrel away some of his odds and sods there.
[Elizabeth] “It’s the cane Nigel used to spy on swallows.”
(eh?)
And also the scythe he used to cut the meadow.
It seems it’s quite a big building - 200,800 square feet, Lewis reckons. Which could need a £840,000 budget to fix up.
Which Lewis reckons would be a good investment. Though Elizabeth would need to get a loan.
AND it’s a grade listed building (so couldn’t possibly be a quick fix)
[Elizabeth] “I don’t suppose the scythe is worth very much?”
[Lewis] “Not financially, no.”
I’m amazed at how far Elizabeth has progressed with her grief.
That sort of conversation – finding things of, and remembering things about, Nigel used to send her over the edge.
Now, it’s fondness rather than overwhelming sadness.
- Brian’s back
- Where is Jennifer?
- Deck the Halls seems to be going well
- The twins didn’t fight
- David or Elizabeth?
- Not a brooch!
- Tony calls Sharon
Brian’s back
He’s tanned and has tales of fishing off of a reef, but he wasn’t left alone to ease himself back into reality.
Wind, rain, Adam asking him to work on machinery and Martin Gibson is “very annoyed”.
Annabelle left him a message to say that Martin was on a slight rampage:
[Brian] “Incandescent was quite a clue …”
Seems Pete Wilkes (is that Spencer’s, Pip’s boyfriend, dad?) phoned up Martin to ask if he had a date for when the Super Dairy would be starting.
Which he shouldn’t have done. Brian told him it was all still confidential.
[Brian] “ ‘Don’t say anything to anyone’ was obviously too technical for him”
Problem is that Brian should also be keeping everything confidential within Borchester Land. Which is why Martin is angry. Brian shouldn’t be trying to line up suppliers yet, even though Brian needs the suppliers in place to prove his business plan to the rest of the board – and Martin is especially worried that the media will get hold of it.
So really, Martin is right to be angry. And to spoil Brian’s return from holidays.
Where is Jennifer?
No mention of Jennifer on Brian’s return.
Surely she’s also come home?
Or has (a) Brian done away with her or (b) she run away with a waiter?
Deck the Halls seems to be going well
Though the ice rink had to be shut down for a few hours yesterday(some of the casual workers didn’t turn up for work), seems there’s plenty of folks spending money, despite it being a “belt tightening”.
It’s definitely not the same without Nigel, though. We didn’t get to hear the build-up to Deck the Halls. Nor about the magic.
The twins didn’t fight
[Elizabeth] “Somehow they got through the whole day without fighting. First time ever on a birthday”
[Jill] “They’re very sensible children”
Where Elizabeth is oblivious, nothing gets by Jill.
She’s obviously spotted that the twins are making a big effort for their mum.
David or Elizabeth?
Is a choice Jill’s going to have to make over the festive season.
David and Ruth are definitely going to The Bull for Christmas evening. But Elizabeth isn’t sounding so keen. She’s determined to still not have anything to with her brother.
[Jill] “Point Elizabeth one way and she heads off in the opposite direction”
So Elizabeth and the twins for Christmas lunch. David and Ruth Christmas evening.
And what about New Year? Especially just after on the 2nd …
[Jill] “I can’t believe it’ almost a year since Nigel died”
But Jill wouldn’t be able to invite David and Elizabeth to hers at the same time for new year. Which she feels odd about.
[Jill] “I want to support Elizabeth but not condone her attitude to David”
Not a brooch!
Josh just wants money for Christmas (which Jill is disappointed about).
And Jill is also looking for a gift for Christine’s birthday.
She’s been thinking about a brooch.
Surely not?
We don’t need another brooch of death at this time of year.
Especially when Christine’s Peter has organised a birthday lunch for her at Grey Gables (his orchestra is in Berlin). Even Jim is invited … which has raised a few eyebrows.
Jill – stay away from a brooch as a gift.
Christine – get on and marry Jim
Tony calls Sharon
But gets her husband Eamon.
[Eamon] “What the blazes are you playing at?”
[Tony] “I don’t want to bother you …”
[Eamon] “Then don’t … haven’t you and your wife hurt her enough already”
[Tony] “I’m not trying to hurt anyone”
[Eamon, fuming] “Then what are you up to? Trying to wreck my son’s head this time, going on about his biological father, cause it isn’t going to happen. We’re not going to have anything to do with you … then understand this, if you bother me and my family again I’m going to get very very angry, got it!”
But Tony calms him down by asking him to at least listen to what he has to say, as one father to another.
[Tony] “I’m absolutely desperate., I’ve got no one else to turn to. Since Pat found out about Rich, she’s been going through hell … as a father yourself, perhaps you can understand a little why she did … when you lose a child the pain is unbearable”
[Eamon, becoming reasonable] “Yeah. Okay, it must be”
[Tony] “I just want you to understand what a death like that does to you. You never get over it, never. You simply learn to keep going. To put the pain in a box … I don’t know how to explain. Finding out about Rich has ripped that open again”
[Eamon] “I’m sorry. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone”
[Tony] “Now my wife is spiralling down into the most terrible depression”
[Eamon] “And that must be hard from you, but from what Sharon’s says, she’s only got herself to blame”
[Tony] “I haven’t rung to lay blame. Or to deny that wife and I have made mistakes in the past … all I’m asking is for you to show some compassion to your son’s grandmother … I’m seriously worried about her. If we could meet him. Even once … “
[Eamon] “There’s no way Sharon will go for that … you can’t expect me to do a song and dance routine for you”
So Eamon only agrees to tell Sharon that Tony called. And even to that, he can’t promise that Sharon will listen. He reckons Tony is just wasting his breath.
Very brave of Tony to try, but sounds futile.
Unless grandparents have some rights under the law?
Or, Sharon has a rush of festive spirit?
- Jim safely scaled the ladder, but Peggy fell afoul of her cat
- Freddie and Casper
- Christine’s looking festive again
- I don’t get crosswords
- Neil is in avoidance mode
- Pat’s mind isn’t on hazelnut yoghurt
- Shula couldn’t see to drive?
- Deck the Halls without Nigel
- The Archers split for Christmas?
- “for how long, Susan?”
Jim safely scaled the ladder, but Peggy fell afoul of her cat
Phew!
Though Christine was worried that he was leaning too far.
She also asked Neil to help her hold the ladder.
Christine reckons it only takes a minute to have an accident:
[Christine] “Peggy thought she’d be alright without her glasses for a moment yesterday … she tripped over one of her cats … Bill I think.”
Luckily it’s just a sprain, but bad enough at this time of year. Peggy will be stressed about not being able to get around easily.
[Neil] “That’s the trouble with cats. They’re like other people’s children. Always getting under your feet!”
God help those kids if they managed to contribute to Neil getting a sprained ankle …
Freddie and Casper
Shula’s showing Elizabeth Casper – who Elisabeth is thinking of buying for Freddie Christmas.
Seems Casper is a good choice. He’s calm, and 10 years old – which is seemingly not tool old as he has:
[Shula] “experience but a good few years left”
Freddie will be pleased.
Though how Elizabeth can afford this is a concern. I’s sure Nigel was insured – but when even the horsey set are feeling the pinch (Casper’s current owner, Emily, has to sell him as she can’t afford him anymore).
Christine’s looking festive again
[Christine] “Very festive … I liked the way you’ve looped some round the drainpipe .. .at least now I won’t be letting the side down on Thursday”
I don’t get crosswords
Even when Christine and Jim explain the answers to their clues.
Neil is in avoidance mode
Neil’s checking on a pig, which is hobbling (it’s alright, it’s just a nip). That’s fine, as he’s a pigman, after all.
He later chooses to fix the washing rather than sit with the rest of the family. And he didn’t say a lot during their tea.
Susan reckons he’s being rude, but Neil is getting very frustrated that Tracey is also in avoidance mode. Though he keeps tasking the property paper back home, she’s not taking the hint. Or any notice. Nor interest.
[Neil] “I’m sorry Susan but it’s very aggravating. Tracey putting the property guide right into the recycling”
Susan gives Tracey the excuses that she has to work out her benefits, and try and get money off of Den, before she can think of renting. Though Neil would lend her the deposit without a second thought.
But the worst is yet to come for Neil …
Pat’s mind isn’t on hazelnut yoghurt
Susan reckons Pat is being impossible, with all her running around, manically working.
[Susan] “I don’t know what she was thinking of. Certainly not hazelnut yoghurt!”
Before the mixed fruits, Susan asks Pat about the family, thinking Pat would appreciate a wee chat.
[Susan] “Any unexpected developments lately …”
[Neil] “Susan, we agreed to keep out of it!”
[Susan] “I was only thinking of her she looked like she needed to talk. But when I tried to be thoughtful, I only get my head bitten off”
Seriously Susan!
Shula couldn’t see to drive?
It sounded like it.
Nothing happened, but you would have thought Shula (of all people) wouldn’t risk a dodgy drive.
Deck the Halls without Nigel
They’re getting setup already, but it’s just not the same for anyone.
For us, it was hearing Nigel get more and more excited by the magic of it all.
And folks have already been asking Elizabeth if they’ll have the Highway Man again this year.
[Elizabeth] “One of two people have asked if we’re having the highway man this year. He obviously made a lasting impression”
And she tells Shula about the family who looked stressed – though happy after Nigel did them a special jig as the Highway Man.
[Shula] “I like hearing you talk about Nigel. He as an important part of my life too. You mustn’t think any of us have forgotten about him”
(ahem. Course we haven’t … )
As they were setting up Deck the Halls, Elizabeth felt “almost felt relaxed and happy”. She half expected Nigel to jump out on her and say: “Lizzie, I’m here!”
The Archers split for Christmas?
(well, the Jill side anyway)
Shula wants Elizabeth and the twins to hers for Christmas. She’s only got their mum, Jim, Christine, Daniel and Alistair (!) for the big day – then it’s open house.
[Elizabeth] “Sorry Shula, I can’t commit to anything”
Hmm.
That’ll be because David could be there.
Only one year on.
“for how long, Susan?”
It gets worse for Neil.
Tracey has been looking into whether she can get her kids into Loxley Barret after Christmas.
[Susan] “It’d make life so much easier”
[Neil] “Not for us!”
[Susan] “Oh don’t be so pessimistic. Once she’s found her feet, Tracey will be good company. I’m sure I’ll enjoy having her around”
Which doesn’t mean to say she’ll be living with Neil and Susan – just “somewhere local”.
[Neil] “Exactly how long for Susan?”
Hang on a sec, Neil.
If Tracey isn’t actually living in your house, what does it matter that she’s staying nearby?
Susan sounds delighted to have her wee sister around.
And it’d mean more help with their dad (and Gary).
Just Neil not trust any Horrobin (apart from Susan, of course … )?
- Grundy cider (courtesy of Oliver)
- ‘Genuine’ pearl necklace for 30 years married
- Not the holly, again
- Ruth’s a proper farmer, unlike Brian
- Deck The Halls (without Nigel)
- A pony!?!
- Funerals online
- Ruth speaks to a real live buyer
Grundy cider (courtesy of Oliver)
Eddie and Joe are collecting apples from Oliver’s orchard for their cider.
Seems not many other folks have joined in.
Jim turns up eventually. As does David.
Hardly the community project Jim envisaged, but it is a start.
And Eddie reckons it will be a vintage year, with them collecting grand looking apples.
[Joe] “Course in my dad’s day they had a wheel”
[Jim] “A cider wheel? … I suppose a garden shredder doesn’t have the same romance about it”
[Joe] “Does the job”
‘Genuine’ pearl necklace for 30 years married
It’s Eddie and Clarrie’s 30th anniversary on November 21st.
So Eddie wants to get Clarrie a proper nice gift.
A pearl necklace.
[Jim] “The ancient Greek symbol of love and devotion”
[Joe] “She’s going to love that. Well done Eddie”
But … in true Eddie style … he reckons he got a “bargain” and he mentioned the word “genuine”.
So, it’ll either be glass or stolen. Odds on.
Not the holly, again
As they were collecting apples, Eddie pointed out a nice sprig to Joe. And mentioned that they’d better get themselves ready for selling holly again.
*sigh*
Won’t there still be a long list of customers not entirely amused with Joe’s holly growing kits?
Ruth’s a proper farmer, unlike Brian
David talks to Ruth about Brian’s plans for a Super Dairy.
Ruth is not happy.
Ruth starts to rant.
[Ruth] “1500 cows, with no grass at all, stuck up there in a shed all of their lives … we’ll have a whopping great dairy unit shoved right on our doorsteps … that’s just so Brian. He’s such a total hypocrite. He’s never been a dairy farmer, all he cares about is turning in a quick profit … it’s a terrible idea; it goes against everything we’ve been working and for over the last twenty odd years and Brian knows that to. And he has the nerve to come here and start crowing about it to you”
[David] “Me as NFU Chair …”
[Ruth] “Same difference. He ‘d know perfectly well how you’d feel about it personally”
But wait Ruth. There’s worse to come.
[David] “Listen. There was another reason why he’s come to us now ...well, I’ve got a feeling you’re not going to like but I did say I’d ask, so … Brian says that if the scheme goes ahead, if right, then BL would be looking for local suppliers … to grow feed crops for their cows”
[Ruth] “What? You mean …”
[David] “He wants to know if we might be interested”
[Ruth] “David, but, how could you even ask … well you know the answer, of course we’re not doing it. No. I hate the whole idea and I don’t have any part of it”
[David] “Alright, so it’s not our kind of faming of course …”
[Ruth] “It’s not proper farming at all, it’s an industrial business …”
[David] “But, think about it for a moment. They would be offering us a long term contract for our crops at a guaranteed price. Can we afford to turn down an offer like that?”
[Ruth] “I don’t care what the deal is …”
[David] “Really? When we need all the help we can get for our milk”
[Ruth] “Not that way. I’m not doing it David, I’m surprised you’ve even considered it. You should have turned him down flat”
[David] “Alright, you made your point, there’s no need to bite my head off”
And David storms off in a huff.
They later on make it up. And David admits he’s quite relieved that she’s out her foot down for him.
Deck The Halls (without Nigel)
That’ll be a strange one. Nigel’s charmingly childish delight always made it such a highlight.
A pony!?!
Blimey – looks like the recession has never touched Elizabeth.
It’s nearly the twins’ 12th birthday.
She’s talking to Shula about what to get Freddie. He’s seemingly really hard to buy for.
In fact, neither Lily nor Freddie have made much out of their forthcoming birthday.
It’ll be the first without their dad.
So, Shula suggests buying Freddie a pony.
And, just like that, Elizabeth reckons it’s a great idea. No mention of how can they afford it. No mention of how she can work out something as spectacular for Lily.
My. How the other half live.
Elizabeth then tells Lily about Freddie’s pony, but swears her to secrecy.
(can twins keep secrets from each other? And why on earth did Elizabeth tell her in the first place?)
Luckily for Elizabeth, Lily then suggests her own birthday present.
She wants to go on her school trip to France.
Which is fine by Elizabeth.
Seriously – is there a way I can get Elizabeth to adopt me? She’s loaded!
Then again, it might just be her burning her way through Nigel’s insurance money … actually … did they look into how much he was worth when he died?
Funerals online
Not really.
They’re just getting the promotion of the green burial site sorted online. They’re also doing flyers.
Ruth speaks to a real live buyer
Which was a shock for her, after not getting through to any real ones for a fair while now. And what’s more:
[Ruth] “He seem surprised to be talking to a real life farmer”
What’s more, he seemed quite interested in Brookfield’s product.
[Ruth] “At least we’re getting somewhere at last. This could be the breakthrough we’ve been waiting for”
And at least it doesn’t involve Brian or a Super Diary.
Fingers crossed.
- Torture for Lily and Freddie
- Fun for Elizabeth and Nigel
- Joe is trying to ‘stop global warming’
- Ouch!
- Quite Christmassy indeed
Torture for Lily and Freddie
Can you imagine being a kid and having your own skating rink – yet being forced to watch others enjoying it while you have to do homework.
Poop!
I really do think Nigel is taking all of this far too far. The wee bairns shouldn’t have to do practise papers on a Sunday. Especially when they have the rather marvellous Deck the Halls happening all around them.
Practise papers on a Sunday for Lily and Freddie – haven’t even got on the skating rink yet (torture!)
Fun for Elizabeth and Nigel
Relenting to actually let everyone have a bit of fun, Nigel is quite quick to let himself and Elizabeth enjoy the ice rink.
[Elizabeth] “It’s nice to think I can still do swan if I try”
[Nigel] “I feel like more some kind of duck”
[Elizabeth] “I think you look handsome and distinguished”
[Nigel] “Gosh – how romantic!”
And fun, Nigel. Fun.
Indeed – fun for all the family (you child slave driver!)
Joe is trying to ‘stop global warming’
Well, that’s his reason (today) for the seasonal trap rides with Bartleby.
Nothing to do with earning a few bob then …
Joe never does mean any harm with his scams, and I do feel really quite sorry for him with the utter failure of this one. He’s out in the cold all day, without much to show for his efforts.
Still, it sounds like Joe is about to expand out in kissing boughs and mistletoes. So maybe those will prove more fruitful.
But Saint Clarrie brightens his day by buying a ride off of him home – which will get both of them back out of the cold (if utterly missing the point of earning more for the Grundy household).
Ouch!
Now that really was ironic.
After having a marvellous time with Eddie on Decks The Halls’ skating rink, and then telling Joe to watch is steps on the icy path at home, Clarrie herself slips, and goes crashing down.
Joe and Kathy take Clarrie off to hospital, with Eddie rushing from Lower Loxley to then find out that Clarrie’s actually broken her wrist.
[Eddie] “Marvellous ain’t it … you goes skating … then slips on the path”
[Clarrie] “I can’t believe I could do such a stupid thing!”
[ Clarrie] “I’m going to be in plaster for 6 weeks … right before Christmas… how am I going to work … Christmas shipping and the dinner to cook and a house to clean and the turkeys to pluck”
Phew! And she only has her Grundy menfolk to depend on, so we can only hope Nic, Emma and the rest of the Ambridge women can manage to fill the massive vacuum that is Clarrie.
Very old fashioned indeed, but the fact remains Clarrie does for all, with the men in her life only creating grief.
Quite Christmassy indeed
I know the carols, ice skating and talk of lovely decorations and markets will have struck horror into those who can’t abide this time of year.
But I love it.
The Archers: The day after the night Eddie chucked ‘gloop’ at Sabrina … Pip’s pondering Uni … Deck the Halls still in its planning stage
- Ambridge is ablaze with talk of Eddie and Sabrina
- How did Ruth escape the Panto?
- Should Ruth wear jeans?
- Only 2 bullocks to slaughter
- Welcome back Alistair!
- Does Jill even know what “lame brain” means?
- Nigel brings Bavaria to Borchester
- Elizabeth’s after penniless students
- No Joe Grundy at Deck the Halls
- I can’t believe that worked for Jazzer!
Ambridge is ablaze with talk of Eddie and Sabrina
[David] “Sabrina gave Eddie a right old whack round the chops”
[David] “Lynda came over all Alan Sugar .. she fired him on the spot”
The biggest question of all: how do you get the gloop out of a sequined top?
How did Ruth escape the Panto?
Maybe Ruth has too strong a ‘regional’ accent to slot into the Panto, but she does seem to be one of the few residents to have escaped Lynda’s attentions.
But now that Eddie has been fired, Lynda’s going to be desperate.
[David] “Be careful if she descends on you with that determined look in her eye”
Should Ruth wear jeans?
I don’t know – Ruth gets a chance for a day out, and still she doesn’t grab the chance to live a little.
Thought it’s only accompanying Pip to an open day at Felpersham Uni, it’s still a day off the farm.
Go on Ruth. Slap a frock on.
Only 2 bullocks to slaughter
Cripes – there really is a lot of work Pip can do to help Brookfield become a more profitable farm.
They only need to slaughter two bullocks to fulfil their Christmas orders.
Pip’s probably going to do an agriculture with farm business management course. All she needs to do is get 2 B’s and a C.
Easy enough. ???????
After pushing Pip to College – then pushing her to go to Uni – it looks like Ruth is now going to push Pip to study a bit further away from home.
So that she can “step onto independence”.
True enough.
But David thinks it’d be less expensive and can also get into helping makes decisions at Brookfield if she stayed closer.
Tricky.
I’m still keeping my eye on young Josh …
Welcome back Alistair!
Not sure where you’ve been (or Shula … or Jim, for that matter), but nice to hear you again.
But it’s all a go-go for you.
First to look at a Brookfield cow, then onto Lower Loxley to look at a lame shire horse.
Maybe he should pop up again when he’s less busy, as his brain doesn’t seem to be engaged.
Why on earth did he tell Nigel that Daniel isn’t a good skater when Daniel’s trying for a job at Nigel’s skating rink?
Bad Alistair. Bad, bad, bad!
Does Jill even know what “lame brain” means?
I doubt it, let alone think it of her granddaughter.
Nigel brings Bavaria to Borchester
Wow! Lower Loxley’s Deck the Halls sounds quite marvellous this year.
Elizabeth’s after penniless students
Is Nigel not performing as he should?
(just jesting – Elizabeth’s only after students to work at Deck the Halls).
No Joe Grundy at Deck the Halls
What a travesty!
Joe has been replaced by a lantern maker.
*Sniff*
That doesn’t sound half the fun.
I can’t believe that worked for Jazzer!
David’s retelling the tale that Harry got a text from Jazzer (…keeping up?) saying that he had “one satisfied customer”.
Ah come one! What’s Jazzer’s real secret?!?
The Archers: A pig Ark is damaged … Tony’s going to the Race Evening …Tom and Brenda aren’t … Tom’s big plans … Nigel’s big plans … Jazzer and Eddie’s big plans for Nathan
- The Ark is going to take some hammering out
- Tony has an evening off
- “Saving our money for the one eyed bear”
- Tom’s finished the great Light Bulb survey
- Deck the Halls does indeed sound marvellous!
- Nathan’s heading for a big loss
- “Saint Clarrie o the perpetual ironing board!”
- Jack’s reduced to making decorations
- “You weren’t waiting for me to start supper!?!”
- Helen’s hobbling
The Ark is going to take some hammering out
Which is entirely Tom’s fault for not moving it, despite Jazzer warning him.
Tom then assumes Jazzer can stop on to help out, but:
[Jazzer] “You’re way overdrawn at the bank of big favours”
And anyway, Jazzer has to see Eddie, get something to eat … then it’s off to Panto rehearsal.
[Jazzer] “Cause there’s nothing I’d rather be daein, expect sticking me heid down a cludgie”
Tony has an evening off
At first blaming Jazzer for talking him into going to the Race Evening, Tony admits that he’s actually happy to be going out as Kathy is coming over.
Again.
Seemingly Tony does feel sorry for her, but she does tend to go
“about Jamie all of the time”
“Saving our money for the one eyed bear”
Which sounded incredibly rude, but was only about Children in Need.
Tom and Brenda are saving their pennies for the quiz on Friday, which is in aid of Children in Need, so that means they won’t be at the Race Evening in aid of the British Legion.
Is it just me, or does that seem a bit tight? Surely they can support both, especially they’re both working (and could have two nights out … steady!).
Tom’s finished the great Light Bulb survey
And didn’t Tony sound excited when Tom told him.
(not at all)
So with such a lack of demonstrable enthusiasm, I found it very odd indeed that Tony that agreed to all of Tom’s plans without even a hint of protest.
Is Tom completely right?
Has Tony just been swayed by savings?
Or has Tony genuinely had enough of being nagged and harassed from all quarters?
Whatever Tony’s motivations, Tom can now:
- Replace all existing lights in the cattle building with high pressure sodium lamps (24 lamps a shed)
- Replace the flood lights with security lights that use energy bulbs (and have top rims to cut out light pollution)
- AND can buy the new refrigeration for the milking parlour
All very well, but with some of the initial cost having to go onto the overdraft, can we sense a whole new round of financial problems heading its way to Bridge Farm?
Deck the Halls does indeed sound marvellous!
The website pages are ready – the dates are set (5th to 24th December) – and the German Market will be on its way soon.
Yes folks – it’s the rather magical Deck the Hall at Lower Loxley, in only its second year.
Nigel and Elizabeth didn’t mention how much the entrance fee is, but some of the attractions include:
- Traditional decorations
- Stollen
- Mulled wine
- Gluhwein
- Santa*
- Ice rink
- Greenery
- Carol Singers
- Horse drawn carriage rides (which you do have to pay extra for)
- Nativity scene
- “Breath-taking display of living Christmas trees”
Even Cranford (the horse) is “back in the harness” to help out.
I quite agree with Nigel that the
“whole place is going to be magical this Christmas”
and wish I could make it down.
I think we also need to keep an eye on the Open House day Nigel and Elizabeth are planning for January 2nd.
“Let the whole clan see this place while it’s still in its winter finery”
Hmmm. The thing is, when a family event like that is mentioned, you know there’s going to be a falling out;.
*Nigel and Elizabeth seem to think Santa comes via an agency, but we (of course) know that he personally sends his own deputies to cover all of the Santa Visit requirements, while he’s busy making those toys and checking those lists
“Both Father Christmas’ are confirmed … we don’t want a repeat of last year’s missing Santa horror”
“[the agency must have a] substitute bench full of Christmas elves waiting for their big break”
Nathan’s heading for a big loss
Well, if Jazzer and Eddie’s plans go right. Which would be a first.
Eddie’s given Nathan the ‘winners’ for the Race Evening. Nathan has also gone for the ploy of losing some, winning others, but waiting until the last race to
“Then pile everything onto a dead cert”
At least if it does come to blows, at least it will be 2 on 1.
“Saint Clarrie o the perpetual ironing board!”
Was Jazzer’s horrified response to hearing that Clarrie knew of their ploy to trick Nathan.
Jazzer was a bit more confident after Eddie reassured that Clarrie was livid at Nathan trying to take advantage of a charity event.
I wonder who could lose their nerve first.
Jack’s reduced to making decorations
Don’t get me wrong – I’d also be quite happy making tree decorations, but I found it a bit sad to think of the powerhouse that Jack once was.
Now he’s best kept busy with basic ‘fun’ tasks.
“You weren’t waiting for me to start supper!?!”
Oh Tony, that was too close for comfort.
Lucky that Pat became distracted by Tom’s talk of light bulbs.
Although you didn’t mention about waiting for Pat to come home to start tea, you had made mention that you wanted to grab a bite. Which is not the same as making food for the whole family.
Cheeky!
Helen’s hobbling
Pat reports that Helen “is in such discomfort”, as her knee really hasn’t had a chance to get better.
After Pat and Kirsty harassing her, Helen has:
“Finally admitted it was getting too sore”
And might go in late tomorrow, or even take the afternoon off of work.
“Saying she’ll look after herself is one thing – getting her to do it is another”
Come on Helen! You’re fated to be miserable, but why make the chance of that even greater?
The Archers: Susan's spreading the news ... Kenton takes Jamie out ... Apple days and Deck The Halls ... Will gets angry (pt 6000000940265)
- Clarrie is just an all round good sort
- We can depend on Susan
- Why on earth didn’t Eddie and Clarrie not expect Will to go off on one?
- They really didn’t expect it.
- Kenton and Kathy in a 'Not shouting' shock!
- Kenton gets through to Jamie?
- Apples, Deck and Panto (oh my!)
Clarrie is just an all round good sort
Clarrie was having a chat with Kathy, when Kenton arrived to take Jamie out.
Not only did Clarrie not fish for gossip - she immediately left them to it - mentioned to Kathy that she could call round anytime for a chat - and gave Eddie a tap for trying to be nosey.
Nice person indeed.
We can depend on Susan
Actually, I think it's fair enough that Susan is spreading the news far and wide.
After all, it is her daughter that's pregnant.
The way Will found out can't exactly be blamed on Susan gossiping (for once). Methinks Ed had planned it all along ... (see below)
Why on earth didn’t Eddie and Clarrie not expect Will to go off on one?
As @meerkatmartin pointed out to me on Twitter, parents generally only see the good in their kids.
Which is absolutely true.
The trouble is, have Eddie and Clarrie been completely oblivious to the continued animosity between their sons?
When was the last time Will and Ed were in the same room, let alone acted like brothers?
I’m quite stunned that they didn't think to (a) tell Will about Emma's pregnancy become common knowledge and (b) assume that he'd go loopy about it.
[Clarrie] "isn’t it nice!"
[Will] "so why didn’t someone tell me?"
[Will] "Jennifer a telling me I’m going to be an uncle ... how do you think I felt?"
Clarrie also had to admit that she'd known for a wee while, which made Will even more angry.
I can see Will's point that it's not right he had to hear it from "the gossips".
Perhaps Eddie and Clarrie should have insisted Ed tell Will, but I don't think Ed gives a stuff.
I think his plan all along was to truly rub Will up the wrong way by making sure he found out the wrong way.
[Clarrie] "are you pleased for them?"
[Will] "what!"
[Clarrie] "well, it’s good news"
[Will] "Dad ... after what Ed's done to me, do you think I’m going to congratulate him?"
And then we get onto Will’s new strategy:
[Will] "you really think he's ft to be a father? ... he's just not responsible"
Yikes!
I’m not sure where that come from (I can only remember George once hitting his head, while Ed and Will were having a punch up).
Anyone else have an idea of how Will could justify Ed not being a good dad?
Either way - looks like Will isn’t going to take this quietly. I think he'll try and get custody of George, while making Emma's pregnancy a far less joyous experience than it should be (for all concerned).
They really didn’t expect it.
"I never thought he'd take it as bad as that"
"and after all this time, you’d think he start to get over it"
"he'll soon calm down"
"a lot of it is because he's been made to feel a fool in front of Jennifer Aldridge"
Ah, come on now Eddie and Clarrie. Will has shown nothing but utter contempt for Ed since the whole Emma-gate.
But you're also missing the fact that Nic is now going to have to cope with the full brunt of Will's unreasonable anger.
"Nic is such a nice sensible girl ... perhaps she can talk him round"
Actually, maybe Nic can. She has stood up to Will before.
But, because Nic is such a "nice" girl, I hope she runs for the hills (or Harry) when she realises that Will is going to be going utterly overboard throughout and beyond Emma's pregnancy.
Kenton and Kathy in a 'Not shouting' shock!
While Kathy was very frosty to Kenton when he collected Jamie, she didn't shout at him.
When Kenton said:
"I thought it might help the situation ... I’ve been busy but not been on another planet"
Kathy didn’t shout at him.
When Kenton brought Jamie back home.
Kathy still didn’t find to something to shout at him about.
And, when Kenton offered to collect Jamie from school, so that he could hang out with him again AND give Kathy a break ...
... Kathy accepted his help in the straightforward manner it was offered.
Phew! Think we've turned a corner?
Kenton gets through to Jamie?
As well as Kathy and Kenton having a normal conversation, and agreeing to something, is it too much to hope that Kenton will actually manage to help stop Jamie being such a thug?
Jamie seemed to take on board Kenton's point that his shenanigans to Pip's Barn Dance was mote about him being rude than underage drinking.
And then also admitted that he is
"bored ... fed up ... people [are] annoying me ... there's nothing good in my life ... everyone just comes down on me"
On the matter of Kathy dropping him at and collecting him from school, Jamie did have a good point to make that it is actually making her life more stressful.
Which Kenton heard, and late came up with a solution for (see above). Which I was heartened by, considering Kenton had at first said
"it does seem a little bit bonkers"
(I was imaging that he'd say those exact words to Kathy, sending her off into a fury yet again. Which he didn't. Phew!)
And what's more, did Kenton actually persuade Jamie to go to school and actually do the work while he's there?
[Kenton] "I’m not a shining example of academic achievement - but at least I had some O levels ... if you have to go, might as well get something out of it"
Oh my. This has to be too good to be true.
Apples, Deck and Panto (oh my!)
The previous mention of the Panto, and tonight's mention that Deck The Halls will be back this year (at Lower Loxley), has made me warm and happy.
It's been a very trying year in many, many respects.
And though often a twee farce, the Christmas 'specials' also raise a smile.
As Clarrie put it:
"something to look forward to it"
What's more, Lower Loxley is also having an apple day soon.
Which Joe is helping out with (by getting old varieties from Grange Farm).
Can we sense a cider scam forthcoming?
