The Archers Tuesday 1st May 2012
- Queen of the May
- Tracey can’t get a job because of Tracey
- Tom has patience with Tony
- Adam’s speaking sentences
- Susan doesn’t want to offend the extended family
- Brian really cares for quiche
Queen of the May
Though it is technically May Day today, the May Day celebrations will be taking place during the May Bank holiday.
Lynda’s got the kids out rehearsing. And Susan’s reminiscing about May Days gone by.
[Susan] “Tracey was Queen of the May once … she looked so sweet. She was such a pretty little girl … Tracey’s hoping Chelsea’s getting picked this year … so would I, carry on the family tradition”
Though Susan reckons that Tilly and Molly Button will be serious competition for Chelsea. Especially as they seem to be favourites of Lynda. Susan also thinks that Chelsea is “not as graceful as her mum”.
Anyhoo, Brad is also taking part in the rehearsals.
[Susan] “I’m not sure Brad’s much of an asset”
(blimey, Susan’s hardly a one-woman cheer squad for her sister’s kids!)
Tracey can’t get a job because of Tracey
So thinks Susan.
(she really is on a downer on Tracey and her brood tonight)
Seems Tracey has had a couple of interviews, but no actual job as yet.
[Pat] “What you think the problem is?”
[Susan] “Well, Tracey … I’m just facing facts Pat. Her experience and qualifications look okay on paper, but then when she turns up …”
[Pat] “That’s a bit harsh, she was a pretty little may girl a moment ago”
[Susan] “She changed …. She’s just a bit full on”
Susan also thinks that Tracey’s lack of skill on a computer is holding her back.
Aha … do we foresee harry helping Tracey out …?
(if Harry ever decides to speak again)
Tom has patience with Tony
(I know! I never thought I’d be able to type that)
Tony’s also been having a steep learning curve with computers. And he’s still feeling guilty that he’s not doing the milking.
But Tom’s being incredible soothing and patient with him. Tom’s even sounding like he accepts Tony will be running the office side of the business.
Though Tom does check up on the work Tony had done when he’d been left alone. Tony returns to find Tom doing the checking – to find that he hadn’t been saving as he’d been working. Tony’s very upset, and is angry that he’s wasted everyone’s time.
[Tom] “Not thing. It’s all good practice”
[Tony] “I’m just a dinosaur, aren’t I. With about as much brain”
[Tom] “We all have our areas of expertise. Look how often I have to ask you about the livestock … I bet you never do it again!”
And Tom changes the settings to make sure the software does an automatic save more often.
[Tom] “Come on, don’t give up dad. Please”
And he really sounded like he meant it.
Mark this day: Tom showed signs of being a human being with feelings and empathy.
Adam’s speaking sentences
And is out of intensive care.
[Jennifer] “Tomorrow they say he can have a cup of tea”
Jennifer’s still worried every time he falls asleep. And she’s also concerned that he might have lasting damage. As Brian did (for a bit).
Time will tell, I suppose.
Susan doesn’t want to offend the extended family
She and Pat were discussing the Super Dairy.
Pat reckons the fight isn’t over yet. She and her anti-Super Dairy friends are regrouping, to see if they can still put in objections about the planning and the like.
Susan most certainly doesn’t belong to the anti-brigade.
[Susan] “We’ve got family connections to the Aldridge’s now … I have to be very careful, I wouldn’t want to embarrass Christopher”
As Pat points out, she also has connections to the Aldridges …
Actually, we haven’t had to suffer the embarrassment of a Carter/Aldridge social evening for a while, come to think of it.
Brian really cares for quiche
Now that Adam is awake and talking, Brian’s glad that everything back to normal (!) and that he’d getting fed properly.
[Brian] “Homemade quiche with a proper salad dressing”
Priorities, Brian style!
Thinking about the farm, he thinks they’ll need to get someone else in to help. So he’s going to ask Felpersham University for a recommendation. (Pip?)
[Brian] “Adam will want to know that his precious strawberry pickers are being looked after”
The Archers Friday 6th April 2012
- A moment, Jazzer style
- The Echo, yet again …
- Tom’s poly tunnels are delayed
- It’s finally dawned on Tom
- Brenda hands Tom a small chocolate bar
- I want to watch sows wallowing
- Jazzer and Harry’s quiz will be all inclusive
- It was all Molly Button’s fault
- Tom does a nice thing
A moment, Jazzer style
[Jazzer] “Bren, have you go a minute?”
[Brenda] “No, not really”
[Jazzer] “Great, cause this won’t take one”
Ha ha ha!
The Echo, yet again …
The Super Dairy really should be quite a gripping time in Ambridge.
Yet Brian constantly complaining about the Echo, then meeting up to analyse it with Annabelle, ultimately calling in PR chap Rufus to resolve it, is getting a bit dull.
Today, Brian met with Annabelle. They talked about the impact of The Echo. Then they called Rufus.
*humpf*
The only remotely interesting thing today was that the Echo’s expert is a chap who has commissioned by pressure groups to do research.
And that Rufus reckons that the Super Dairy will produce lower emissions per unit than smaller dairies.
Hm.
And Brian doesn’t see that Rufus is (a) hardly an expert and (b) paid by him to tweak the truth.
Tom’s poly tunnels are delayed
As the company he ordered them from had lost his order.
[Tom] “New staff, new system and they didn’t like my star sign!”
So, he’ll have to wait a few more weeks to get them.
Ach well, at least Stamfords Deli have put in an order for “both types of bangers”.
It’s finally dawned on Tom
With his rather packed work load, Tom can now finally see why him missing “a few” milking shifts made Tony so angry.
Halleluiah!
Even if it was his own experience rather than Tony’s heart attack, that has bought Tom to this conclusion, at least he’s got there.
Brenda hands Tom a small chocolate bar
As it’s what her mum used to give her when she was busy studying, while saying “well done. Keep going, love”.
That’s nice.
I want to watch sows wallowing
Which is what Tony’s doing.
Jazzer and Harry’s quiz will be all inclusive
Jazzer is trying to entice Tony to his and Harry’s Easter quiz.
[Jazzer] “You’ll be okay, some of it goes back to the dark ages, Duran Duran and all that …”
Though when Tony points out his music knowledge goes back even further than that, Jazzer reckons he also will have questions for “old codgers”.
That’s the way to pack ‘em in Jazzer. Flatter ‘em!
It was all Molly Button’s fault
Reckons Jazzer.
It was Molly’s fault that Jazzer put itching powder in Harry’s cycling shorts because she gave him the idea, and actually gave him the powder.
But then, Molly played a trick on Jazzer, involving a tarantula (which he can’t stand).
[Jazzer] “Molly fooled me, I fooled Harry, he tells her off, it’s the circle of life really”
[Tony] “Very profound”
Tom does a nice thing
Seriously.
He really does.
Tony was earlier saying to Tony that he needs to
[Tony] “Learn to stop getting in everyone’s way”
But Tom has a plan.
He tells Tony that he wanted different cabbages for the veg boxes, but he spent ages trying to track them down. When Tony knew exactly who to call in seconds.
He also tells Tony that he’s started chasing unpaid bills for veg boxes. Including a lady called
Elspeth Rogers. But Tony knows that Elspeth only pays quarterly, as that’s when she gets her pensions.
And Tom tells Tony that it would be really useful to have someone to do the banking and such for the veg boxes.
So he asks Tony.
[Tony] “You want me to do it, all the admin, for the veg boxes … I’d be delighted!”
Good Tom.
Easy work for Tony, without making him feel he’s being mollycoddled.
- All because of badgers?
- Lynda takes advantage of Fallon (and she likes it)
- Molly and Tilly Button’s coconut dance
- Now Lynda’s making Fallon scream!
- Pat and Tony will get to meet Rich
All because of badgers?
There’s a slurry leak at Brookfield.
[David] “If it’s going in the brook as well, it’s a disaster”
Seems ‘something’ has given way in the slurry lagoon, and its leaking slurry.
[Clem – some bloke who know about fixing slurry lagoons] “You might be right about the badgers”
It hasn’t reach Hayden Brook as yet (well, there’s no dead fish to be seen at the moment). They’ll need to drain the lagoon to see where the problem is.
[Bert] “It could be worse David. At least the herd’s only been inside for a couple of weeks. A similar thing happened in your father’s days …”
(David stops Bert there – they don’t have time for reminiscence)
Clem rings round other farms to see if they can take on extra slurry so that David can drain the lagoon, but has no luck. Something to do with new NVZ regulations, which means everyone wants to be sure they have enough capacity for their own slurry.
So – David will now have to phone the Environmental Agency for an EA for deregation (or something like that – not my area of expertise). He needs to have their agreement that he can spread slurry, as long as it’s well away from water. He’s got to be able to drain the slurry somewhere.
[David] “You know what gets me, even if I do play by the book, I still might end up getting fined … Don’t you just love dairy. At the moment it’s just one problem after another.”
David also made another mention of badgers:
[David] “The damn badgers got busy!”
As if badgers needed any new bad press with David.
Though how badgers got into a slurry lagoon to make it leak, only David can explain.
Notice to all badgers: stay away from Brookfield. Grange Farm is a safer bet …
Lynda takes advantage of Fallon (and she likes it)
[Lynda] “I hope you don’t feel I’m taking advantage …”
Fallon says she isn’t, but is also more than happy to be roped into sorting out the scenery and staging of Christmas Around the World.
Poor Fallon.
She seems to have a lot of time on her hands.
Molly and Tilly Button’s coconut dance
Is that an appropriate dance for two children to do in public?
More worryingly:
[Fallon] “Have we got extreme event insurance?”
Now Lynda’s making Fallon scream!
Lynda seemed very keen for Fallon to go into her and Robert’s living room.
Which Fallon does.
And screams when she does so.
[Lynda] “Oh no. Not her as well!”
Later on, once Fallon has calmed down:
[Fallon] “Sorry about the little scream earlier … it was that hideous gleam in his eyes when I walked in”
[Lynda] “Hideous, rather than endearing?”
[Fallon] “Terrifying”
[Lynda] “Oh, what if I have him peeping over a little holly hedge, perhaps with a jaunty red ribbon tied to one tusk … doesn’t conjure up images of the frozen north and Santa’s workshop”
[Fallon] “He’d only go there to eat the elves!”
[Lynda] “Oh dear … never ,mind, you’re not alone in your opinion … unfortunately no-one’s taken him to heart”
[Fallon] “Table decorations are very subjective, Lynda”
[Lynda] “Far from it. Everyone seems to like Vicky’s effort, whereas they all seem to think my centre piece is thoroughly repulsive”
And with Oscar (and his parents, of course) coming up for Christmas, Lynda also doesn’t want to risk scaring the beejesus out of him as well.
[Lynda] “So I’m afraid it’s back to the attic for my little walrus”
Aw. That’s a shame.
Bless Lynda and her creative quirks. She really isn’t appreciated.
Pat and Tony will get to meet Rich
Tony gets a shock with Eamon calls him.
Seems Eamon has talked to Sharon:
[Eamon] “You can imagine how she reacted …”
[Tony] “So it’s a no?”
[Eamon] “That’s up to you Tony … first of all, you need to know that I’ve sweated blood over this, okay …
“me and Sharon talked it right through. To be frank, we wished you’d never got in touch. But, we’re prepared to let you and your wife see Rich once and once only .. and there are conditions Tony.
“You need to understand we’re not really doing it for your sake, we’re doing it for our boy. Like I told Sharon,. He won’t be happy if he does ever want to know about his blood family and he finds out we stopped his grandparents getting in touch. That is the only reason we’re saying yes … and it’s got to happen on our terms, or not at all”
The terms are that Sharon and Eamon will be with Rich the whole time. That it’ll be a very short meeting, in public. And that Tony and Pat can only say they’re old friends of Sharon’s – they’re expressly forbidden from saying that they’re Rich’s grandparents.
[Eamon] “If you ever look like you’re going to talk about his blood father, we’ll walk away … I’m not having him shaken up … it’s not only your wife suffering here, Sharon’s completely ripped up by this, and we didn’t want anything of this remember
"That’s it. A one shot deal. So make you mind up Tony, yes or no?”
[Tony] “Yes”
So, Eamon will call back with a when/where when he and Sharon are ready.
Tony was right to say yes straight away, before they changed their minds, but wonder if Pat will be happy with that?
Even if not – surely this can only help? It’ll at least stop Pat wondering.
Or, will it be a case of a little is most definitely not enough?
(I kid you not)
- Adam’s not for changing
- Lynda bores Ian
- Helen has the answer for Bridge Farm
Adam’s not for changing
Debbie’s on the phone to Adam asking how his visit to a Super Dairy went.
It’s a smaller one than Brian and Debbie want, and while Adam reckons it was a slick operation, that the cows looked well enough looked after and that hygiene (and the such) was fine:
[Adam] “My basic philosophical objection remains the same”
[Debbie] “You like to see cows outside. In the few months of the year that’s possible in the UK …”
[Adam] “The cows aren’t in at Brookfield yet”
[Debbie] “Oh the Brookfield grazing system is hardly representative!”
(actually, Debbie, a lot of the cows round our way are also still out and about)
Adam really isn’t convinced by any of Debbie or Brian’s arguments. He’s not happy about the principle, the economics or how he fits into the whole plan (he actually reckons he isn’t being given a proper place in this scheme).
[Adam] “If you and Brian had hoped for some Damascene conversion that was going to bring me round the
idea then bad luck”
Seems Debbie has been dreaming profit per cow versus profit per square foot – which doesn’t impress Adam.
Neither does her offer of releasing 100 acres back to Home Farm for Adam to use as he likes. He just sees that as an empty gesture to keep him quiet.
He’s more worried about Home Farm basically becoming a junior partner to Borchester Land.
[Adam] “You’ve worked for BL long enough to know how often there’s blood on the carpet after Board meetings”
But Debbie’s patience is wearing thin. She pushes Adam to take the land or not – then later seems to be siding with Brian that Adam is being unreasonable in face of what is a really good deal for Home Farm.
[Brian] “It’s all I can do not to strangle him half the time”
So Debbie has failed to convince – it’s over to Brian.
Adam is sure to respond to Brian … (!)
Lynda bores Ian
Lynda’s trapped Ian while he waits for Helen.
He actually seemed quite scared by her talk of Christmas around the World.
It was seem, according to Lynda, that Angela Probert has indeed agreed for her dancing kids to do “festive folk dances from around the world”. And Elona’s daughter Anna will do a guitar solo.
Though Anna’s offer to play Greensleeves did not go down well with Lynda. She felt it wasn’t very Albanian …
[Ian – out loud] “Come on Helen …”
[Lynda] “After all this isn’t some end of the pier variety show!”
Lynda says she still has hopes for Usha to take part, and:
[Lynda ] “Molly Button has surfaced!”
[Ian], not sounding desperate] “Bright as a button, eh”
[Lynda] “She and Tilly are going to do the tie coconut dance … so gradually we’re starting to reach beyond the confines of the British Isles … just required some lateral thinking”
Lynda asks Ian if she should ask Adam to do something, considering he’s spent time in Africa, but Helen arrives to save Ian (and Adam) in the nick of time.
Blimey.
I actually thought Lynda was going to push our Ian into being abrupt … or rude!
Helen has the answer for Bridge Farm
Helen’s caught in the middle between Tom and their folks.
Talking to Ian about it, she can see Tom’s reasoning about rebranding everything away from the Bridge Farm brand, but:
[Helen] “Tom’s been using it as a weapon to beat mum and dad with …I mean Tom Archer may sound alright on sausages, but for yoghurt and ice cream, that’s just too butch somehow”
[Ian] “Butch ice cream? I think you may have identified a niche market there”
As Ian suggests to Helen, she is also put out that Tom is pushing for everything to be called Tom.
[Helen] “It does feel like a takeover by Tom”
Seems Helen would like to be able to talk it all over with the “best person to ask”, but she can’t. Why on earth either of them thinks Brenda would be of any use, I do not know …
And then, during a rather shocking moment when Helen lets Henry have a wee bit of cake rather than yoghurt.
(still can’t get over the change in Helen), Ian and Helen come up with a blinder of an idea.
Why not move the brand onto the next generation, and call everything Henry’s?
I can actually see Tony and Pat maybe going for that (though they would still be devastated to lose the Bridge Farm brand they spent decades building), but Tom …. surely he wouldn’t go for it.
His ego just wouldn’t allow it.
- Shula gives Strength
- Alan’s Apt
- Susan’s got Scones
- Is it still someone’s birthday when they’ve died?
- South Borchester Puppy Show 2011
- Puppy walkers
- Christine in gossipy mood
- Caroline’s in the dog house
- What makes a good ‘un?
- No! Not Oliver’s new hat!
- The Church is the answer?
Shula gives Strength
Shula did accompany Jill to St Stephens, and seems to have made a world of difference to our rather tired Jill.
Alan seemed to be trying to temp Shula back to St Stephens by saying she looked lovely.
And Shula seemed to be quite happy.
Whether Shula does return to St Stephens or not, she helped Jill to miss Phil less, and also gave her strength during a rather tense time with her family.
Alan’s Apt
Which we do come to expect of Alan. Always the right word, phrase, sentiment, feeling, at the right time.
During the service, Alan’s prayer was on forgiveness (not much of that going round Jill’s side of the Archers clan at the moment).
Susan’s got Scones
And earlier on offered to bring Shula more Clingfilm for the Puppy Show.
She’s in charge of the scones and cream, and seems to be kept so busy that she doesn’t utter a peep the whole Puppy Show.
Is it still someone’s birthday when they’ve died?
I suppose not. Must be more of an anniversary of when they were born, for the folks that knew them that are still of this world.
Anyhoo, it’s Nigel’s birthday on Wednesday.
[Jill] “Oh, will there never be an end of this, Shula?”
I don’t think so. Birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, Sundays, Tuesdays, favourite brand of crisps … this will go on and on.
Jill is worried that Elizabeth is going off on a day course, on Historic House, with Roy on Nigel’s birthday.
Better to be busy?
South Borchester Puppy Show 2011
Jill and Phil might have disagreed about hunting, but all folks love a nice puppy.
Especially when there are mountains of sandwiches to be had.
Sarnies and Puppies.
Perfect.
Puppy walkers
I also didn’t realise this, but the hunt dogs are kept by folks in their homes when they’re puppies, before they’re old enough to join the hunt.
And those folks are called puppy walkers.
That’s superb!
I’d be one myself, if I didn’t already foster racing greyhounds as they’re retired from track (to how them what a house is, not to be scared of the hoover, and how to enjoy their retirement. Brief shout-out for the charity I foster for: http://www.dgrescue.org.uk/)
Christine in gossipy mood
Christine’s at the Puppy Show with Freddie and Lily.
She slights that Mandy Beevesbrough (sp?) has to dye her hair red now.
And she then starts joking.
Yes – joking!
At her time of life … well, I never.
[Christine] “The definition of hock is the financial condition of most horse owners …”
And then she started telling Seymour, the huntsman’s, joke:
[Christine] “There was this stud groom who had too much to drink …”
… but the secret microphone moves on elsewhere before we can hear the punch line.
Naughty, on oh so many levels.
Caroline’s in the dog house
(which I know is a bad joke, but she said it first)
[Oliver] “So, where exactly are you, my sweet?”
Don’t let the “my sweet” fool you. Oliver is absolutely fuming that Caroline has missed the start (and most of the rest) of the Puppy Show.
[Oliver] “ …you just slink in , after I started my speech when I couldn’t say anything!”
Caroline had staff issues at Grey Gables, which couldn’t be helped, really.
But Oliver’s not a happy chappy.
He even made ‘text’ sound like a major affront.
(Caroline had the audacity to send him one, rather than turning up in time).
[Oliver] “The point is, I felt completely humiliated, everyone was wondering where you were”
Oops.
Retirement soon for Caroline?
What makes a good ‘un?
Seemingly puppy Cheerful looks a good ‘un (according to Christine).
[Christine] “Nice sloping shoulders, and a good length neck, and his stern’s not too curly”
No! Not Oliver’s new hat!
Oliver’s hat blew off as he was making the opening announcements at the Puppy Show.
It was okay, as Molly Button managed to retrieve it (much to Lily’s annoyance, and, I imagine, all of the wee hounds in training).
But, it was a new hat. Especially bought for the Puppy Show.
Poor Oliver. Even the small pleasures in life seem to go a bit astray.
The Church is the answer?
Alan would certainly be the right person to try and broker a peace between Elizabeth and David,
Jill certainly wishes that Elizabeth and David had the church to fall back on.
[Jill] “Just to give them that time out to reflect on it all … look outside themselves for a moment … it might help Elizabeth to forgive David, and for David to …”
[Alan] “ … forgive himself …”
[Jill] “Exactly, he can’t let it go”
- Molly Button has a sister
- “Can you believe it? Bored by the cricket!”
- A tense final (for Susan)
- The new Book Club book is “a Roistering rural romance”
- Jazzer, lost in translation?
- Chris isn’t patronising
Molly Button has a sister
Called Tilly, who also sounds like a bit of a live ‘un.
She went missing at the Single Wicket, to be found sat in a tent “quietly” reading.
Tilly then later seemed to be throwing things at Jazzer.
Good to know there’s be a few choice females for Ben to choose from when he grows up.
“Can you believe it? Bored by the cricket!”
It did seem that most Ambridge residents weren’t at the Single Wicket (or at least were staying quiet).
And of those, most weren’t too bothered about being there:
[Susan – on Chris and Neil making the final] “Didn’t think I’d be stuck here, watching all afternoon”
[Jazzer, on cricket] “Occupational therapy for posh Neds”
A tense final (for Susan)
Alistair went out in the first round (to someone called Barry – who is seemingly “insufferable” – but was then knocked out by Chris, so balance was restored).
Neil put Harry out, even though Kenton reckoned Harry was “on fire”, and Susan was being a tad negative about Neil’s chances.
[Susan] “Your father looks beaten already”
But she has little faith.
Neil does make it to the final – as does Chris.
So it’s an all-Carter end to the Sticky Wicket.
The new Book Club book is “a roistering rural romance”
So Jennifer has chosen Mistress of the Paddocks by Carinthia Heart.
(a book which I can’t as existing beyond Ambridge – or am I being thick?)
It’s even got Emma reading:
[Susan] “As soon as Emma saw it was a roistering rural roman, she grabbed it off me”
Jazzer, lost in translation?
Jazzer’s only at the cricket to try and pull the Polish woman (who is part of Adam's Picking team) with the “long chestnut hair”.
And at least she now has a name – Zofia.
[Jazzer] “Is this patch of grass taken, or is there room for a handsome man next to you?”
He also tried to crash the Pickers’ barbeque to try and get close to Zofia, but Adam chucked him out.
[Jazzer] “I’m guessing there’s a lot more to ya than strawberry picking”
Jazzer then starts to ramble on about whether Zofia likes art, music, massage …
And, hearing Zofia has split from her boyfriend (who is now back in Poland), Jazzer thinks it’s a good tactic to get very personal,
[Jazzer] “Bit of a bother in the bedroom department, eh?”
At which point, Harry interrupts.
(he speaks again!)
Harry thinks Jazzer’s banter is a tad inappropriate.
[Zofia] “It’s alright. I do not understand what he says”
It seems Harry also has an eye for Zofia as well. Jazzer reckons he’s well in, but Harry seems to have had a gentle chat with Zofia
[Harry] “So why did she ask me afterwards if English was your first language?”
Jazzer then challenges Harry to Zofia – which appals Harry as it’s hardly the way that modern, enlightened men should act. That belongs to a previous age, he reckons.
[Jazzer] “Are we going by the calendar or your dress sense?”
But ho hum. Looks like it’s another farcical ‘game on’.
Chris isn’t patronising
So, Chris won the Single Wicket.
Susan is a bit irritated that he didn’t let Neil win
[Susan] “Well you’ll have plenty of chances again, but you know how much it meant to your father”
She reckons Neil’s been taking such a ribbing recently that he’s too old to play cricket, he needed to win to bolster himself and prove to all else that he still has ‘it’.
[Chris to Neil] “There’s no way I’d patronise you like that … I heard you telling me to catch it”
[Neil] “The only thing better than winning myself, is seeing my son do it”
Aw. Sweet.
Though Neil did still claim half of the trophy. He reckons that’s so, because he taught Chris has to play cricket in the first place ...
- Now Neil returns
- A new dawn for Brenda and Vicky?
- Harry is in a stew about haggis
- Kate’s back (grrrrrrrr!)
- I wonder what Ruairi’s accent would have been like …
- Kenton and Jolene bond over toast
- Molly has mushrooms
- Quarter Peal *sniff*
Now Neil returns
That’s odd.
Months of Susan and Vicky – no Mike and Neil.
Now Mike and Neil return (more or less) together.
That must be one big attic they’re being kept in.
A new dawn for Brenda and Vicky?
Brenda had a grand birthday thanks to Vicky – has she really “turned the corner” in beginning to accept (and even like) her step-mum?
Harry is in a stew about haggis
Silly muppet.
They’re not meant to be stewed.
Kate’s back (grrrrrrrr!)
Actually – steady on (I tell myself).
She’s being picked up, but we didn’t hear a word from her.
Which is fine. She’s more than welcome to return, just so long as she doesn’t speak.
I wonder what Ruairi’s accent would have been like …
… if Nigel and Elizabeth had adopted him.
Couldn’t really be any worse, I suppose.
Kenton and Jolene bond over toast
[Kenton] “There’s nothing worse than cold toast”
[Jolene] “Better than burnt”
[Kenton] “I quite like burnt”
[Jolene] “Really?”
Oo-er – will this difference stop love blossoming, or a case of opposites attract?
(actually – is this Kenton and Jolene thing ever going to go anywhere at all? I have my doubts)
Either way, it’s great to hear Jolene a bit more enthused by The Bull (ha! take that Mr Crawford!), and having Kenton to bounce ideas off of.
And I never realised “the oldies” (Kenton’s words) were offered ‘budget’ meal deals because they eat less.
Well, apart from Joe Grundy.
Molly has mushrooms
Molly Button has mushrooms on toast, Freddie and Lily get special hot chocolate and a (non-edible) penguin.
Knowing that Molly, she’s probably already on a diet.
It’s good to see Elizabeth back out in the village, even though some folks (like Neil) are a bit lost for words.
Jolene and Fallon more than made up for it by being ‘normal’ with the kids – and Neil is organising the quarter peal in memory of Nigel:
[Neil] “Nigel’s missed in that bell tower … he was such good fun”
Quarter Peal *sniff*
That was bonny, even though it was a bit of a sneaky tearful moment.
The Archers: Jolene plans a day out … Peggy’s birthday plans … Con has been in touch … Nathan Booth is being naughty at the Panto … Poppies are selling well in The Bull
- Fallon’s working on her tunes again
- Does Jolene really just want bar supplies?
- Bill’s been on the pull
- Peggy’s having a birthday tea
- “Tom really has got his head screwed on, doesn’t he?”
- Con Lives!
- Robert’s making funny sounds
- Harry and Lynda up a tree?
- Ah, that’s why Lynda is so …
- Ruairi has his bottom pinched
- Vicky is not an ingénue
- I want to see Nathan’s Bruce Forsyth
- At last … someone realises Fallon can sing!
Fallon’s working on her tunes again
Oh, that’s a surprise.
Just when there’s a dire need for music in the panto.
If I was a cynical person …
Does Jolene really just want bar supplies?
She sounded very odd indeed.
And then she ‘reveals’ that Kenton is taking her to Borchester Bar Supplies.
That’s interesting. Very interesting indeed.
Bill’s been on the pull
Naughty Bill.
That’s Peggy’s sofa, that is.
Peggy’s having a birthday tea
Ah, how lovely. With family, and cake!
(and I’m not being sarcastic. That sounds like a lovely time for a lady about to turn 86).
[Peggy] “Don’t bother hunting out the right number of candles”
Bless her.
“Tom really has got his head screwed on, doesn’t he?”
No Peggy.
Sorry to disagree, but Tom is just an annoying little man who doesn’t have enough respect for his father to listen and discuss, rather than just railroad.
Con Lives!
And isn’t Peggy delighted about it.
On the one hand – Peggy is still married – on the other hand, it’s lovely to hear Peggy so happy and excited about something that’s just about her.
Might be good for all concerned?
[Peggy] “Thought [Con] was very gracious asking about jack”
especially as last time Con and Jack met, it was
[Peggy] “Like two stags sizing each other up”
Though as Peggy put it,
[Peggy] “How trivial that all seems now”
Either way, Con is very much alive and seems just as delighted to hear from Peggy.
He has a daughter Belinda, son Danny and granddaughter Amanda.
Peggy also thinks Con still has his sense of humour. Though I’d doubt he still had his own teeth.
Robert’s making funny sounds
Oh tee-hee Mr Snell!
In charge of the Panto’s sound effects, he’s having a grand old time to himself.
First a submarine sound effect
[“for when the rats dive away from the cook”]
then a ‘boing’ sound
[“King rat bouncing in the cooking pot”]
and finally a bit of a Pyscho soundtrack sounding sound
[“the littlest rat getting caught in the door”]
While Robert and Harry were having a right old titter at the sound effects, Lynda:
“If I hear one more raspberry or comic boing tonight, I will not be answerable”
At which point Robert ceases his schoolboy behaviour, and heads off to the pub.
Leaving Harry to sweet talk Lynda
(I kid you not!)
Harry and Lynda up a tree?
Harry is either trying to butter Lynda up for a swindle, or he genuinely adores her:
[Harry] “I can see how important you are to the village … you make things happen … life would be a lot duller … you deserve all the support you can get”
Oh Harry.
Sorry to be super critical, but I really can’t work you out.
What is Harry’s Game?!?
Ah, that’s why Lynda is so …
… extreme about the Panto.
Lynda reckons she was shy when young, (the wee poppet even got teased for being so quiet) but her head teacher (Miss Baxter)
[Lynda] “saw something in me no-one else did”
and casted her as Gerda in the snow queen. And that was:
[Lynda] “the best thing ever happened to me … I felt special”
So, Lynda is so focused on the Panto because she wants everyone else to have that feeling.
I do like Lynda. She’s just not the one dimensional obsessive she often makes herself out to be.
Ruairi has his bottom pinched
By the rather cheeky Molly Button.
Keep your eye on those two (but give it another 10 years for it to get properly interesting)
Vicky is not an ingénue
So says Lynda.
Honestly, Lynda and Vicky are the worst friends ever!
Vicky stabs Lynda in the back over the Peregrines – now Lynda is merrily slagging Vicky off when Vicky had actually stepped in to help Lynda out.
Still bereft of an Alice Fitzwarren for the Panton, Vicky read the part during rehearsals.
Not impressed by Vicky’s giggling and waving to Mike, Lynda is becoming increasing desperate to cast her leading lady.
I want to see Nathan’s Bruce Forsyth
Especially if he has managed to make Bruce seem more like Maureen Lipman.
At last … someone realises Fallon can sing!
Ah, we can always depend on Clarrie to speak sense.
And the penny finally drops for Lynda.
Trying the idea out on Jolene, Lynda realises that while it is probably too busy a time at The Bull for Fallon to take a full part in the Panto, she could always get Fallon to record the backing music.
Didn’t Vicky suggest that weeks ago?
- Neville takes Simon Cowell too far
- They saw off Molly Button
- Wahey Jazzer!
Neville takes Simon Cowell too far
Neville turned into a bit of a monster at Ambridge Has Talent.
What got into him?
He certainly hasn’t won himself any new, and must have lost a few, friends by buzzing off everyone.
But all was right in the end. As Fallon put it:
“Thank god for jelly beans”
They saw off Molly Button
Unlike the real Jedward, Jamie and Josh actually won.
But, is their 15 minutes of fame and football tickets a good message after their tagging shenanigans?
With David taking a pop at Pip even when she’s not there, and hasn’t done anything to deserve it, I think there’s definite double standards.
Boys will be boys but girls will be watched …
Wahey Jazzer!
Just how can Fallon reject a man with such a fine singing voice?
