The Archers Tuesday 6th March 2012
- COWS EAT GRASS
- There were never such devoted sisters
- Lilian to give up ciggies?
- Jennifer needs to speak to Adam
COWS EAT GRASS
Was one of the chants at the Mart demonstration today, joined with:
FREE THE AMBRIDGE COW
and
ALDRIDGE RESIGN
Cliff, the chap who’d project managed the build of the Mart, called Brian down to see a demonstration that was taking place. The demonstrators even had banners and leaflets!
[Brian] “It’s all about the dairy. The anti-brigade, would you believe. They’re trying to persuade farmers to support them and boycott the market … there’s only a dozen or so, but they’re causing quite a nuisance”
When Brian gets there, he estimates there’s more like 25 to 30 of them.
[Brian] “Look at them. Talk about a rabble. Where did they all come from?”
But Brian does recognise at least two of them.
[Brian] “Kirsty … our local tree hugger with her comrade Patrick”
Brian wants to know what they can do to move the demonstrators on. Cliff has had the Police out, but there’s nothing they can (or want) to do.
[Cliff] “Peaceful demonstrators excorcising their lawful right to protest”
[Brian] “What about the lawful rights of these farmers not to be harassed on their way into market?”
[Cliff] “There was something about the demonstrators having to notify the council”
But the Police are waiting on the right Council department to call them back to verify if that’s been done.
[Brian] “I’m going inside away from this scrum”
Later on, Brian has found out that the protestors didn’t notify the council BUT now that they’re started, they can’t really be stopped.
(begs the question of why they need to notify in the first place)
[Cliff] “They’ve got a nerve, haven’t they. Demonstrating at the market. When all’s said and done, what’s it got to do with your dairy scheme?”
It’s all to do with BL.
And more are now turning up. At which point Cliff leaves (he was only there to fix a specific technical problem), giving Brian the “Best of British” wishes.
Brian certainly needed it, after deciding that he’ll go out and:
[Brian] “see if I can calm things down”
Oh dear.
Brian doesn’t exactly have a soothing personality …
When Brian gets outside, he’s met with boos. When he asks who is in charge, Kirsty responds in a bit of a bizarre way:
[Kirsty] “Liberty and compassion, Brian”
(eh?)
[Kirsty] “This is nothing personal, you understand”
[Brian] “I’m glad to see you’re all so concerned about the diet and welfare of livestock”
[Kirsty] “It’s a shame you and BL directors seem to care … your cows won’t even get to see daylight”
But Brian doesn’t want a debate there and then, and asks them to leave.
[Brian] “Why don’t you pack up quietly, and get back to work, or wherever it is you go to”
(aye, that’s the way to get them on your side Brian!)
[Kirsty] “There are a lot of people out there who really hate your scheme … this is our way, and it won’t be the last time you see us. So you better get used to it Brian”
Oh-ho! Attacked on all side now. Couldn’t happen to a nicer chap.
There were never such devoted sisters
Lilian is arranging to collect Jennifer so they can both go and see Tony together.
[Lilian] “Shirt and sweet might be best … what he needs is some TLC from his sisters”
Jennifer’s brought a “scrumptious” (according to Tony) cake. Lilian’s brought an “assortment of nuts” because they have the “right sort of fatty acids” (according to Lilian’s healthy eating recipe book, which can’t have had much use …). Lilian felt she need to take something as Jennifer was taking something.
[Jennifer] “It’s not a competition Lilian”
[Lilian] “Oh yes it is. We don’t want him thinking I care less about him than you do”
(all said in jest)
Tony’s saying that while he now has to take pills for blood pressure and cholesterol, the doctors are saying Tony’s problems stems from stress rather than diet.
Jennifer sounded a bit sheepish after he’d said that … (guilt’s a terrible thing).
Tony has also had a call from a rehab specialist. And Helen has bought him a “gadget” so that he can check his own blood pressure. Tony tries to put it on Lilian to show them how it works.
[Lilian] “Take it away darling, with my lifestyle, it’ll go right off the scale!”
But to be serious:
[Lilian] “After all darling, it’s much too soon for us to lose our little brother”
[Jennifer] “Yes. Yes it is”
[Tony] “Well, that’s nice of you, thanks, both of you”
Lilian to give up ciggies?
As Jennifer and Lilian are driving home, they agree that Tony is looking a lot better. But:
[Lilian] “He’s still a long way from the Tony we know and love”
[Jennifer] “It’s all made me think very hard about our lifestyle …”
And she goes on to speak about how good their diet is, that they take exercise …
[Lilian] “Oh dear, I’m a hopeless case aren’t I? Perhaps I should have another bash at giving up the ciggies”
Jennifer needs to speak to Adam
Jennifer’s telling Lilian that while the Super Dairy has been stressing her, and nearly tore her family apart, she’s now sighing relief that Adam and Brian have “talked sensibly”.
So Jennifer seems to think everyone’s bessie pals again. But she does admit that she’s only heard this from Brian.
[Lilian] “Well, you can’t argue with a handshake, I suppose”
You can if it was only done to get the other person to shut up and go away!
- Will and Nic’s grand day out
- Saul Bradley sounds like a twat
- Peggy’s making a dragon, disparaging remarks about Pat, and plans for Elona …
Will and Nic’s grand day out
Nice to again hear Nic and Will having a nice time together.
They’re at Lower Loxley with the kids. And they are most definitely not clock watching.
They send the kids off to make kites, while they get to mess around in a boat.
Though Nic left her drum and cat o’ nine tails at home (Will is complaining about her forcing him to do all the rowing), she didn’t need them to keep Will in check.
Actually, Will was genuinely nice and living.
My oh my.
It’s almost as if Will is a sane human that one could warm to …
Saul Bradley sounds like a twat
Excuse my language, but he really (really) does.
He’s the archaeologist sent to check the bones found at The Mart. He’s a right patronising wee know it all.
Seems he agrees that the bones are just pig and cattle. So that’s fine. But:
[Saul] “On thing puzzles me though … the date … the bones are buried far deeper than I’d expect”
And what does that mean?
The theory is that the pigs and cattle were slaughtered, and buried on the Mart site, way back in 1967 when foot and mouth hit. Which explains why it’s so deep.
The good news is that the site is therefore of no archaeological importance, but DEFRA still needs to be called.
Calling DEFRA.
That doesn’t sound like a fat thing to me.
And right enough – DEFRA needs them to get an exhumation order, from an inspector, before they can move the bones and get back to work.
*sigh*
Common sense from public agencies.
Not.
Peggy’s making a dragon, disparaging remarks about Pat, and plans for Elona …
The dragon fly is for Pip getting her exam results (Peggy is enamelling again).
[Peggy to Ted] “I know Tony’s made some silly decisions in his time, but I always felt Pat could be trusted to run the dairy, but something has badly gone wrong there"
(eh? Tony is acceptable as a bit of a screw-up at times, but Pat gets the blame for not overcompensating for his failings?)
And on Elona:
[Peggy to Ted] “I often feel Elona sees Jack and Violet as the people they once were, rather than simply as victims of the conditions”
Ted concurs. Elona is wonderful, so shouldn’t leave.
Peggy is also talking about how she isn’t quite coping at home. She’s having to let things slip 9which she abhors), and doesn’t want to bother her family about it – or, probably more importantly, lose her independence.
[Peggy] “I don’t believe people should be a burden to one another”
So – Peggy put her and Elona's problems together – and reckons she can solve Elona’s problems by giving her some work. Not exactly as home help, more of a helpful friend that she pays.
Sounds reasonable enough.
- But what about Ruairi’s sports kit?
- Pat had to wear lady shoes
- Are archaeologists really that busy?
- Jennifer gets excited about old bones
But what about Ruairi’s sports kit?
Brian gets a call from Cliff Alladay (The Mart’s Project Manager), and heads straight off to deal with a problem.
Jennifer’s not happy about that. It means he can’t go with her and Ruairi to buy Ruairi’s school kit.
Would seem it’s a seminal moment in any young (public school) boy’s life.
Pat had to wear lady shoes
To her and Tony’s interview at Environmental Health.
Blimey!
Pat’s also worried about the interview. It could lead to a prosecution..
[Tony] “This is environmental health, not Scotland Yard … try to not let the situation intimidate you”
Easier said than done, but quite nice to hear Tony being the positive one in the know.
It sounded like most of the interview went well. Pat only sounded unsure (and a bit panicked) about the last time she’d put her staff through a refresher course – including 48 hour rule and such.
After their interview, Pat and Tony find that the village shop in Penny Hasset and the whole food shop in Darrington have cancelled their orders – AND the wee girl ill in hospital now has kidney problems.
So what’s Tom’s solution?
Take Bridge Farm’s confidence in their product further afield – places like Birmingham and Bristol (where, one assumes, they haven’t heard of the E. coli outbreak).
Hmmm. Wonder if German salad folks found that they managed to survive by finding new markets …
Are archaeologists really that busy?
Cliff has been trying to get one out to the Mart site to have a look at the bones one of the workers discovered.
But seems they’re all out on calls.
Surely not? I’d have thought their work could wait … after all, it’ll have been there for a fair while already.
Anyway – first signs are that the bones are cattle (they found a cattle skull).
But, finding the bones, having to report them, trying to find an archaeologist who doesn’t have another archaeological emergency, all means delays. Which can’t happen if the Mart project is going to hit the Council deadlines.
[Brian] “We’ve been knocked sideways by something entirely unpredictable”
Brian is angry, but one also assumes slightly pleased to be able to tell Annabelle ‘I told you so’.
Jennifer gets excited about old bones
After getting back in from the Mart site, all Brian wants is a large whisky (though he should get it himself rather than telling Jennifer to get him one. Lazy so and so. And I do hope it is whisky rather than whiskey …).
What he also gets with his whisky is a side order of rather inappropriate excitement from Jennifer.
[Jennifer] “Was anything else found, I mean pottery or jewellery … how interesting!”
Brian hopes it isn’t anything ‘interesting’:
[Brian] “Then it’d be littered with people in dungarees with teaspoons”
With her old local historian hat on, Jennifer reckons that the Mart site was part of a major roman road and that the Earl of Essex’s army billeted nearby in 1642.
[Jennifer] “There could very well be ancient remains, it could be a very important find”
Brian is most decidedly not excited nor amused. He’s only worried about delays, and what it could cost him.
