Amy hears it from Carl: Tues 19.06.12

The Archers Tuesday 19th June 2012

• Birthdays galore!
• Brian’s being decent
• Before Amy spoke to Carl
• Amy spoke to Carl
• After Amy spoke to Carl

Birthdays galore!

It’s Fallon’s today.
Adam and Chris on Friday.
And was Usha’s the other day.

[Alice] “You don’t look very chirpy to say you’ve got a night out planned”

Adam’s just utterly knackered.


Brian’s being decent

But only because Jennifer’s told him to be.

He catches Adam trying to grade lambs (to then be taken to the abattoir).

[Brian] “But it’ll be who ends up in the doghouse if you do yourself a mischief!”

Ah, nothing like a stepfather who genuinely cares for his stepson.

Anyhoo, Brian helps Adam see to the lambs. They set bets on how many lambs will end up being big enough to go to slaughter. The winner gets pints of shires.

Brian even makes sure Adam sits down to eat (Jennifer has sent them over a fruitcake).

[Brian] “You know what she’s like. She’ll probably carry on an inspection when we get back!”

Before Amy spoke to Carl

[Alice] “I hope the canteen’s decent.”

(my oh my, what priorities Alice has! She wants a decent cuppa while her best mate is having to front up to the man who broke her heart.)

Alice has driven Amy to carl’s work.

[Amy] “If Carl and I get back together … he’s a good man, I’m sure of it … I just want to be sure you’ll be okay about him and me.”

Hmmm …


Amy spoke to Carl

For starters, Carl made Amy wait in reception for him.

When he did ordain to come down to see her, he bundles Amy off into the car park. Then shouts at her.

[Carl] “What the hell do you think you’re playing at Amy?”

[Alice] “I know … I’m sorry … I had to talk to you.”

[Carl] “And you didn’t think to call first and ask to meet up?”

[Amy] “Would you have answered my call? I didn’t want to come here. I had thought we could talk at your apartment …”

(she tells him that she knows he wasn’t there last week, which he twigs means she’s been stalking him)

[Carl] “Look, Amy, why don’t you give me a call in a day or so … meet up for a cup of coffee … I can’t do this, this is ridiculous. Anyone could come out here.”

But as he also happens to need a cigarette, he agrees to stand a bit away with her to talk.

(I’m on day 9 of not smoking, by the way … still hard to even hear other folks talking about them smoking)

[Carl] “So what do you want from me … what do you want me to say?”

[Amy] “It’s not like I expect some sort of explanation … it’s me who should explain.”

Which she does. Amy tells Carl it’s her fault for pushing Carl too fast. That he was the first man who meant anything to her.

[Amy] “You’re special. And I realise it was stupid to push you like that … a man like you, I know you’ve got commitments.”

[Carl] “Amy, have you come here today to ask me to take you back?”

[Amy] “Yes … of course, I didn’t think … I didn’t think that you’d need time to break it to your wife.”

Carl starts laughing at Amy.

Amy then tells him that she knows he has a daughter.

Carl starts to get annoyed.

[Carl] “Have you been following me?”

He demands to be reassured that Amy hasn’t spoken to his wife and kid, and that she won’t ever have contact with them.

[Amy] “I can wait …”

[Carl] “You really are a piece of work, do you know that … why, in your wildest dream, do you imagine I’ve leave Rochelle for you … Rochelle is a top paid, highly qualified lawyer. She’s beautiful intelligent and well respect. We live in a lovely house in one of  the most sought after areas in the county. We have lots if high flying, influential and important friends. Why would I pack all that in for a midwife, in the NHS, with a vicar for a dad?”

[Amy] “But I love you!”

[Carl] “And? … you really are that naive,. Aren’t; you!?!”

[Amy] “Doesn’t that mean anything to you? Someone saying they love you means nothing?”

[Carl] “You don’t what love means.”

[Amy] “Do you?”

[Carl] “Go home Amy. We’re done.”

[Amy] “How can you go from that, from being so gentle and romantic and living to being so cruel?”

[Carl] “I’ve gotta go.”

[Amy] “How do you know you know I won’t tell your wife what you are?”

[Carl] “Do you think she’d take any notice of you?… she’d take you to court for slander or may just think you were some deluded stalker with a crush on her devoted husband,. Which you are.”

[Amy] “You bastard!”

(at last!!!!!!!)


After Amy spoke to Carl

Back in Alice’s Carl, Amy is a bit upset … to say the least.

[Amy] “I hate him … all that stuff he said to me, everything, it was just a lie … he didn’t mean any of it, he played me. He used me. How could he do that to me?”

Well, at least the penny has finally dropped for Amy.

Maybe she can go back to be a nice, stable, normal, sane young lady again. We can just never talk of her teenage tantrums ever again.

Amy’s starting to scare me 05.06.12

The Archers Tuesday 5th June 2012

• Usha bites back
• Nic’s on heat
• Carl is 100% definitely married, and …
• Naughty fox (literally!)

Usha bites back

Quite right too!

Amy’s was doing her usual moody teenager routine, slopping about the kitchen. She was also complaining that Alan was away, but hadn’t told her.

[Usha] “I think you’ll find he did mention it.”

[Amy] “Yeah well, he doesn’t tell me anything anyway”

[Usha] “All I know is he was relieved to be getting away for the day!”

Amy responded that it’s actually Usha Alan’s trying to get away from – but that Usha blames anyone but herself.

(what a nerve!)


Nic’s on heat

Now we know that Nic and Will want to have a baby, but Nic is now one of many Ambridge residents who have recently been getting quite fruity. Must be because the bad weather is keeping everything indoors.

Nic cornered Will as he was coming out of the shop. She’d caught him buying more for his lunch, even though she’d made and given him sandwiches. What’s worse is that Nic knew Will wouldn’t have been adding healthy options in.

[Nic] “Oh you’re not after bananas. Chocolate bar more like!”

Nic most definitely wants her man on good, healthy food. She needs him to take care of himself.

[Nic] “It’s a special time, today and tomorrow, been checking. So give yourself an easy day if you can … I don’t want you tired out”

[Will] “I don’t think you’ll be disappointed”

(ugh!)

As Nic was leaving, Chris came along. He noticed Will was looking pleased with himself.

[Chris] “What’s this? You on a promise tonight?”

Carl is 100% definitely married, and …

… Amy is increasingly looking to be emotionally and mentally unstable.

After Googling and speaking to Annabelle, Alice worked out Carl’s wife’s firm. Then found their website. Luckily enough, the firm seems to think putting a great depth of personal information about their employees is a good thing to do.

Alice met Amy to tell her about what she’s found out about Carl. She hasn’t taken Carl’s name, sticking with her maiden name of Barrett.

[Amy] “It’s not much of a name, Barrett, it’s not very exciting.”

[Alice] “She’s a school governor”

[Amy] “Goodness, Never a dull moment with this woman!”

[Alice] “She’s a parent governor in a primary school …”

[Amy] “No …”

[Alice] “Carl’s a father.”

[Amy] “No. No he’d have said. You must have got it wrong. … I know Carl. He’s loving. And he’s kind. He’d never have let me get that close if he was in love with whatever her name”

[Alice] “But, some guys … that’s how they are. They don’t see the contradiction in these things v… look at the facts. They’re married and they live together.”

Amy then ranted something about Carl’s wife not feeling secure enough in her marriage to change her name. And that Carl must only be with her because of the kids.

[Carl] “It’s no wonder he had to be so tough with me … he most have found it so hard when he phoned to say it was over. He was doing it for the child.”

[Alice] “The guys got a wife and a family!”

[Amy] “And he’d tried to keep it together cause that’s what he’s like. And now he’s in love with me. Oh, he must be hurting.”

Cue The Psycho theme tune … that Amy’s a real worry.


Naughty fox (literally!)

Will got home from work to find steak, followed by raspberry pavlova, on the table. And a Nic still feeling more than ready to make babies.

But, he can’t stay. A “rogue” fox has been making a nuisance of itself, and must be stopped there and then, that night.

(begs the question of how a non-rogue fox would be treated)

Nic is furious.

[Nic] “And what am I supposed to do in the meantime … this is the first time in my life I’ve been stood up for a fox”

Nic calmed down, and made Will a sandwich to take back out with him.

I’m actually starting to feel sorry for Will here.

Everyone turns on Usha 05.05.12

The Archers Sunday 6th May 2012

• Amy isn’t amused with Usha
• Alan isn’t amused with Usha
• Carl has upset Amy

Amy isn’t amused with Usha

Amy’s crying. Usha comes in.

[Amy] “He’s dumped me … we had such a lovely time in Bristol …I had no idea, I never for a moment imagined …”

After telling Usha that she doesn’t understand what had happened. That Carl had given her such a “long and loving” kiss when they parted.

[Usha] “Men like Carl can be very plausible … well they know how to cover their tracks … men who cheat on their wives”

Amy is stunned. She says Carl’s not married. That he split up with her because it was “him”, not her. That they had wanted different things.

Usha then tells her about seeing Carl and his “wife” at the Chamber do.

[Amy] “You mean, you’ve known all this time … then why didn’t you stop me?”

Usha tells Amy that she thought that maybe Amy had known. Amy is beyond horrified.

[Amy] “I trusted you Usha, and now, how could you even think I’d do something like that. I thought Carl leaving me, things couldn’t get any worse … oh don’t touch me!”

Amy storms out. And calls Alice.


Alan isn’t amused with Usha

[Alan] “All that time, you knew!”

Usha explains why she hadn’t told him.

[Usha] “Because of ... you know, you being a vicar”

[Alan] “What’s that to do with anything?”

[Usha] “I wasn’t entirely sure that Amy didn’t know … well that’s why she didn’t want you finding out …well, it happens Alan”

[Alan] “Not Amy! …If you think that, then you really don’t know Amy at all”

When Alan finally finds Amy through Alice, Amy won’t speak to him.

[Alan] “She should be here. She should be here, with me. In all the years, ever since her mother died, there hasn’t been a time when she couldn’t speak to me …”

And Alan is blaming Usha for such a big change in Amy. Usha thinks it’s because Amy has also grown up. So is less likely to speak to her dad about her woes anyway.

[Usha] “I’m sorry. I hope you’d understand. I did it for the best”

But Alan’s not for forgiving right now. He leaves for Evensong early, and without a sandwich.

Blimey!

I can see why Alan and Amy are affronted that Usha knew, and though Amy might already know, but Usha wasn’t trying to do anything other than protect Amy.

And not even taking a sandwich off of her … harsh.


Carl has upset Amy

Very badly.

She still doesn’t understand why he’s dumped her.

How he had taken her time with her. Been so loving and caring with her.

[Alice] “Maybe it’s because you weren’t an easy conquest. It was a challenge …”

But what of his flat? If Carl was married, as Usha thinks, why didn’t he have any pictures of his wife there? How could he have had her round in the first place?

Amy thinks that he and his wife had split up, but were just keeping up a public front. Which is what Usha had seen. A sham.

Deluded.

But ever so hurt.

Poor Amy.

Carl dumps Amy 04.05.12

The Archers Friday 4th May 2012

• Debbie makes an effort
• Jennifer’s washing walls
• Alice doesn’t sound like a fan of Carl
• Amy’s gone too far

Debbie makes an effort

Debbie still isn’t over to see Adam, but has at least made the effort to call Ian.

Ian tells her that Adam’s doing well – his physio and occupational folks are happy with him, though he is dizzy when he stands up. And still has a sore head. And is frustrated.

[Debbie] “He’s always regarded any illness of any kind being some sort of personal failure”

[Ian] “He is finding it very challenging being in one place all the time … He’s a man of action, he’s always got to be outside”

(though I was a bit disconcerted to hear Debbie and Ian agree that Adam doesn’t really like books. I always saw him and Ian wiling an evening away, listening to Radio 4 while reading their classics)

Later on, when Ian goes to see Adam at the hospital, he finds Adam a bit fed up that he isn’t getting out today as he hoped. He’ll only get out Monday.

Adam’s also fed up that he didn’t remember anything useful when the Police questioned him.

[Ian] “We’re just a bit fed up”

[Adam] “Don’t call me we!”

But there’s some good news. When Debbie called, it was also to say that she was (finally) coming over to see Adam.

Just for the weekend, mind.


Jennifer’s washing walls

[Alice] “I don’t know what the pickers put down on this table but it has certainly stuck”

With Adam in hospital, it’s down to Jennifer and Alice to sort the fruit pickers caravans out.

Funny thing that. For all of her graces, Jennifer gets stuck in when she’s needed.

Well, as long as it’s just for her husband and kids, and her farm. Tony is very much excepted.


Alice doesn’t sound like a fan of Carl

[Alice] “It was supposed to be a business trip, but Carl felt he could fit in a little pleasure as well”

Jennifer is a bit surprised to hear that Alice and Chris haven't had a foursome with Amy and Carl.

(dinner, not the ‘car keys in a bowl’ type)

But Alice explains that Amy is very much keeping Carl to herself.

[Alice] “It just seems a bit … exclusive”

Amy’s gone too far

The morning after the night before, Amy is still excited about moving in with Carl.

He’s sounding not so sure.

[Alice] “It would be fantastic. I could meet your family. Your grandmother”

(yup, that’s what every man wants to hear!)

[Carl] “For a start, do you really want to move out of a lovely big vicarage into my tiny flat?”

[Amy] “We’d be cosy”

[Carl] “I just don’t think you should rush into it”

But Amy’s not listening. She starts wittering on about them getting a bigger flat together. And how they can choose furniture together …

Here it comes …

[Carl] “You know what, beautiful Amy, I’m just wondering if this is the right time”

[Amy] “That this is to fast? But why? I love you, you love me, why wait?”

When Amy gets home, she immediately calls Alice to tell her the good news.

[Amy] “So, we’ve decided to make it permanent”

[Alice] “What!”

After Amy clarifies that she can Carl are moving on, not getting married:

[Alice] “I thought I was getting an invitation to the wedding”

[Amy] “No, well not yet anyway”

But Carl calls, so Amy hangs up on Alice to talk to him.

[Carl] “I needed to speak to you. There’s something I need to say to you, and the sooner the better … Amy, you are a lovely girl and we’ve had a lot of fun together … these past few days have been very special to me, I hope you can believe that …it isn’t the start of anything. I’m sorry. I’m really sorry, but it’s clear to me you want something I just can’t give to you …”

Carl tells Alice that he doesn’t want to move in with her. Not now, not ever.

[Carl] “I can’t give you the kind of commitment you deserve. I’m sorry Amy. It’s over.”

Ah well. Didn’t see that coming.

No mention of a wife, though.

The Beast of Ambridge? 03.05.12

The Archers Thursday 3rd May 2012

• Squirrel, cheetah, lioness, hedgehog, fox … or beast?
• Jolene’s in a mood with Lynda
• Usha and Ruth/Amy and Carl
• Pip’s Bridge Farm headed?
• Why is Ruth living life vicariously?
• David’s fine, by the way
• Amy wants Carl 24/7

Squirrel, cheetah, lioness, hedgehog, fox … or beast?

Jim and Lynda have made up after their run in yesterday over the theme if the village fete (I actually thought it wasn’t very heated).

[Jim] “Spots versus the arts. It’s an interesting debate”

They’re re-bonding by taking Scruff out for a walk.

[Jim] “He’s an inquisitive boy, isn’t he?”

[Lynda] “That’s because he’s intelligent”

Scruff suddenly runs off and starts barking. Lynda reckons it might just be a squirrel.

(Squirrel! http://youtu.be/OxYYPziLdR4)

Lynda has to go and get Scruff:

[Lynda] “Do you think Scruff has found a particularly large squirrel?”

When she gets to him, she sounds quite shocked. Scruff also starts whimpering rather than barking.

(for a moment, I thought they’d found a dead body. Very common thing for dog walkers to do)

When Lynda (and Scruff) gets back to Jim, she’s very upset.

[Lynda] “I caught sight of something running off … but I tell you this Jim, it was bigger than a squirrel!”

What could be bigger than a squirrel, Lynda?

[Lynda] “I’m telling you Jim, it was a big cat … it was the size of a cheetah, or perhaps a small lioness”

[Jim] “And what would a cheetah, or perhaps a small lioness, be doing in Haydan Wood, this isn’t the African veld!”

[Lynda] “I don’t know. Maybe it’s escaped”

[Jim] “Where from? Manorfield Close!?!”

[Lynda] “People do keep exotic pets illegally you know”

[Jim] “In Ambridge?”

[Lynda] “In Borchestershire!”

Jim’s not convinced. Though we all heard of the ‘big cat’ or local beast stories, he thinks there’s no proper evidence behind them.

[Jim] “We like to believe in monsters. It’s an age old human desire”

Jim then went on to say that if wolves and bears were reintroduced to the UK, that the big cat sightings would stop.

(odd reasoning, but I see his point)

He thinks Lynda has just seen a large fox.

[Jim] “Well perhaps they’re getting bigger, we are. Perhaps it was an obese urban fox come for a rest cure with its rural cousins … perhaps it was a very nasty fox. They don’t have a very good reputation in fairy stories”

He also wonders why, if it was a big cat/beast, why it didn’t roar.

[Lynda] “I thought I heard some snuffling”

[Jim] “Mystery solved. Must have been a giant hedgehog. Even the little ones sound asthmatic … I’d be scared of a giant hedgehog!”

[Lynda] “You won’t change my mind,. Ambridge has its own big cat. I’m sure of it”

Wasn’t there talk of an Ambridge Beast back in the 80s?

I’d also though there was one back in 2010 when there was avian slaughter in the churchyard (turned out to be the Peregrines).

Anyhoo – it’s back!


Jolene’s in a mood with Lynda

Which isn’t really fair. She should only be in a mood with James and Leonie.

After all the effort Jolene went to training her regulars to make the bulls horn for James and Leonie’s flyover, the book is no longer going to be published. Because James and Leonie have split up.

Which is hardly any of Lynda’s doing.

[Lynda] “It’s guilt by association”

Anyhoo, all might be well. Jim thinks they could use Jolene’s bull horns as part of the Olympic/Village fete celebrations.


Usha and Ruth/Amy and Carl

As Usha chews Ruth’s ear about her worries over Amy and Carl, Amy and Carl are off having a rather fine time in Bristol.

Usha thinks Amy can’t know about Carl being married (if he is) as she was the one who wanted the impromptu holiday.

[Ruth] “If people trust you they believe you. I’m afraid it’s really easy to lie to them …Has he genuinely fallen for Amy or is he just stringing her along?”

[Usha] “How can I possibly tell? He’s just a brilliant liar”

Over with Amy and Carl, carl’s counselling that they should enjoy the moment:

[Carl] “Not until tomorrow morning. Let’s seize the day”

(he says that sort of thing a lot. Like they have to enjoy what they have before it all falls apart …)

Over to Usha and Ruth:

[Usha] “It’s awful, It makes me feel like I’m his accomplice, keeping his secret for him”

What’s more, all of this has happened when Usha and Amy were becoming close.

[Usha] “These last twelve months, Amy has really felt like my daughter”

Ever the practical Ruth:

[Ruth] “You know what you can do now, tell Amy, or Alan, as soon as you can”

Quite right. Either which way, Usha can at least stop torturing herself.


Pip’s Bridge Farm headed?

Well, she’s certainly becoming a fixture.

Wonder if Pip will become part of Tim’s Empire rather than having to fight Josh (and possibly Ben) for a spot at Brookfield.


Why is Ruth living life vicariously?

[Ruth] “I do love having a daughter to I can live through it all again. All of the pleasure, none of the pain”

Life a bit dull, Ruth?

But true enough that Pip seems to be doing well in work, and in love.


David’s fine, by the way

Though obviously obsessed by Carl and Amy, Usha remembers to ask if David is okay after having found Adam (nearly as he’d once found Nigel).

Ruth says he’s fine. It’d been her panicking.


Amy wants Carl 24/7

As Carl is wishing every day could be like the day they’re having together in Bristol, Amy drops a whopper.

She asks if she should move in. So that every day could be like this.

[Amy] “Wake up together, have breakfast together … we could do that every day …I just want to be with you. All the time. And I know you want that too”

Oh ‘eck!

We didn’t get to hear carl’s response, but wonder what his wife will say (if Usha is right that he has one).

Amy means business 02.05.12

The Archers Wednesday 2nd May 2012

• Amy’s never been to Bristol
• Has PC ruined maypole dancing?
• George, the slug expert
• What will be the village fete theme?
• After Usha went to the effort to make afternoon tea …

Amy’s never been to Bristol

[Amy] “I’ve never been there. Ain’t that silly”

(erm no, not really)

Amy and carl are having a quiet lunch, in a hidden wee gem of a restaurant. That no one knows about. And is ever so private.

(which Carl chose. Hmmmm)

Carl’s talking about being away on a business trip to Bristol for a few days. He’ll be in a posh hotel and, when Amy asks if he has back to back meetings, he says no. He’ll get to chillax for quite a bit of it.

No surprise then that Amy suggests she accompany him.

(which makes me think that if Carl was married, he’d have spotted what Amy was aiming for, and steered her away well before)

[Amy] “I could be lounging in there with you”

[Carl, sounding nervous] “Well, that would be lovely of course …”

Carl tries to backtrack and say Amy will be bored when he’s working. Though he’d just finished saying before that he wouldn’t be working all that much.

[Amy] “No, there must be lots to do in Bristol”

(is there?)


Has PC ruined maypole dancing?

Seems there was a good turnout of kids doing the maypole dancing today.

Though Tracey’s Brad was misbehaving.

[Jim] “He didn’t really mean to strangle Tilly Button with her own ribbon”

[Jill] “He just got confused. Lynda will sort him out”

[Jim] “I know it's never politically correct, and everything having gender equality, but I’m not sure boys of that age are natural maypole dancers”

Though Jim was also saying that as the maypole dance was a fertility dance, it might have been all-male in the past. As Morris Dancing still is.

[Jill] “Don’t tell Lynda. I don’t think she’ll find more Billy Elliot’s by Monday!”

George, the slug expert

Jill’s very happy with George’s slug patrol efforts.

He’s been researching online. So had got Jill putting her grapefruit rinds out in the garden, which the slugs hide under, making them easier to catch and squish.

George has also put out containers with petroleum jelly inside so that the slugs can’t get out again,

[Jim] “That’s a bit unsporting”

Mais non! All’s fair when it comes to getting rid of slugs. Odious little creatures.

(though should we worried about George so gleefully squishing them? Isn’t that a sign of something worrying?)


What will be the village fete theme?

It’s up for debate.

At the committee meeting, Lynda couldn’t seem to get a word in to tell everyone her idea. They all seemed to be talking over her. Apart from Usha, who was very preoccupied, only really speaking to tell everyone else to listen to Lynda.

She started off mentioning the Olympics, Alan butted in with:

[Alan] “Village games in the spirit of the Olympic games”

Lynda tried to explain she was more thinking of the cultural aspect of the Olympics. Back in the day when the Olympics began, it featured an:

[Lynda] “Extensive programme of artistic and spiritual events”

So, she’s definitely not speaking about sport.

[Lynda] “I don’t think serious competitive games are appropriate for a community event … they simply aren’t everyone’s cup of tea … they are hardly inclusive are they, if they are reliant on a person’s age or fitness”

[Jim] “Surely anything connected to the Olympics is about excellence”

[Lynda] “Excellent is not confined to mere sporting prowess Jim”

Most agree that sports wouldn’t be that inclusive.

Later on, they start having a chat about the Olympics through the ages. And then how the Romans games were played – throwing Christians to the lions, and the like. Alan wouldn’t be pleased about that:

[Jim] “His congregation is as small as it is”

So, what do we think the theme will be this year? Togas for all?


After Usha went to the effort to make afternoon tea …

… Amy and Carl rush in to get her a bag packet, as they are both off to Bristol.

To be fair on Amy, she didn’t know Usha want tea and a chat.

Usha must have been about to talk to Amy about Carl, but Carl has obviously relented and decided to take Amy with him on business.

Later on, as he and Amy are enjoying their meal:

[Carl] “That’s my motto. Enjoy today. Let tomorrow take care of itself”

Huh.

The smell of red herring is becoming overpowering!

Adam wakes up 30.04.12

The Archers Monday 30th April 2012

• Debbie puts work first
• What if Amy’s happy to be a mistress?
• The mention of caravans wakes Adam up
• Having his hair done makes Adam speak

Debbie puts work first

[Jennifer] “Oh and that’s more important, of course”

Jennifer’s leathering Debbie by phone for not flying over to see (the still unconscious) Adam.

Though Debbie claims she is thinking of them all, she can’t leave her work.

Despite her brother being critical. Despite Brian badly needing help to run Home Farm. Despite Jennifer pleading with her to be there.

[Debbie] “There’s no good trying to make me feel guilty, but I can’t come”

Though Debbie reckons she has good reason. Her deputy’s wife has done into premature labour, so there’s no-one to take over. And she reckons it’s a critical week for negotiations they’re having with the Hungarian government over land that they lease.

[Jennifer] “It’s Adam you see, darling, I keep thinking maybe if he just heard your voice …”

I don’t buy it, Debbie.

Surely there’s nothing that should be big enough to keep you away from your brother, and rest of family, in such a dire situation?


What if Amy’s happy to be a mistress?

About Carl being married.

Though it’s starting to get complicated …

First off, Usha is basing her knowledge of Carl being married on what Annabelle told her.

So, in my humble opinion, this could all be a red herring.

Ruth suggests to Usha that she should talk to Alan. But Usha thinks she should actually talk to Amy first.

[Ruth] “Are you sure that’s the right way around?”

[Usha] “At first I was sure Amy doesn’t know about this … but suppose she does … suppose she knows Carl’s married?”

Ruth can’t believe that Amy would be with Carl if she knew that he was married, but Usha thinks love conquers all. Especially as this is the first time Amy has been in love.

[Usha] “And she’s so inexperienced”

[Ruth] “And so happy”

[Usha] “I just keeping thinking Ruth … who could do that to his partner … I could no more do that to Alan than, I could fly …”

[Ruth, sounding sheepish] “No …”

[Usha, only now remembering about Sam] “Oh Ruth, I’m so sorry!”

[Ruth] “Don’t say it was different, what I did. You kid yourself that you want it so much, it must be alright”

If Amy does know, Usha thinks it’ll also be because Carl will have done the ‘my wife doesn’t understand me’ line.

[Ruth] “I’m not in a position to cast the first stone at Amy, no matter what she’s done”

[Usha] “And I’m not. It’s Alan I’m worried about … he'd be so bitterly disappointed”

[Ruth] “Do you think so? I thought he was so liberal in his views”

Only so far, it would seem. Usha reckons Alan will blame himself if Amy is happy to be with a man who is already married. He will think he’s failed.

So – upshot if that Usha needs to talk to Amy first to find out if Amy does know, before she says anything to Alan that will upset him.


The mention of caravans wakes Adam up

As Jennifer talks to the (still unconscious)  about everything the needs to do on the farm – spraying, walking the fields to start the seasons plans, getting the caravans ready for the fruit pickers …

[Jennifer] “Adam? Adam, can you hear me … nurse!”

Next we hear Ian shouting at someone to get a move on with the vegetables (one assumes he’s back at work). He takes a call from Jennifer.

[Jennifer] “Don’t worry … its good news … I was talking to him and I saw his eyelids flutter … he responded”

Having his hair done makes Adam speak

As Ian is tidying Adam’s hair so he can look respectable when he wakes up proper (seems the nurse doesn’t do it the way Adam likes it), Adam makes a grunt.

Then wakes.

 [Adam] “Ian … where  … throat sore … hospital, why … how long … go on …. Go on, my hair, nice …”

Jennifer comes back to see Adam fully awake (with an obviously delighted Ian), and plays Adam a voice message that Debbie recorded for him.

Welcome back Adam!

(Shame on you, Debbie. Far too little. Far too late)

Adam still isn’t waking 29.04.12

The Archers Sunday 29th April 2012

• No change
• The family gather
• Alan has announced it is May
• Carl pops round
• It’s not normal, Adam being still

No change

Adam isn’t any better. He isn’t any worse. And he still hasn’t woken up.

Jennifer’s worried that the pressure in his brain hasn’t lessened:

[Jennifer] “The longer it stays high …”

Oh dear.


The family gather

Alice and Jennifer are at the hospital. Peggy and Lilian are on their way. Though they are a bit worried about how Peggy will cope:

[Alice] “She’s strong, and Aunty Lilian won’t be lost for words”

And what of Debbie and Kate?

[Jennifer] “Kate, bless her, she’d have got on the next plan if I’d let her!”

[Alice] “Well that’s Kate … Debbie likes to do things properly”

Eh? What does that mean? Debbie can only come and see her very seriously hurt brother if she has time to pack. book the right seats on the plane and leave copious notes for the business to carry on without her?

Seriously?

If so, why would Alice defend that?

[Jennifer] “It would be awful if …”

[Ian] “She didn’t get here in time … we just don’t know, do we. That’s the worst thing. We don’t know how he is”

Alan has announced it is May

[Alan] “There it was, Mike struggling to put up the maypole on the green. Proof positive”

We believe you!


Carl pops round

Just as Usha seemed to be about to talk to Alan about Carl (possibly being married), Amy bursts in to say that Carl is going to visit, to take her out. Which is a nice surprise for her as he had been planning to spend the whole weekend with his nan (!).

He’s brought flowers for Usha, and Alan’s favourite wine. Which he’d remembered after Amy had only mentioned it once. Seems he has a great memory.

[Usha] “That must be very useful … in your work”

(ahem!)

She’s on to you, matey.

It’s not normal, Adam being still

Ian’s used to Adam being a bit of a mover in bed … he normally has to keep pulling the duvet back over them during the night.

[Ian] “He seems to put as much energy into sleeping as he does to everything else …”

So, seeing Adam lying so still is worrying. Though Jennifer thinks Adam is working hard as he lies there, fighting.

[Ian] “We need you back”

Carl’s not a saint after all 25.04.12

(surprise!)

The Archers Wednesday 25th April 2012

• The Super Dairy lives!
• Chris van gets burgled
• Alice passed her exams
• Jennifer will stop Chris and Alice having kids
• Is Carl married?

The Super Dairy lives!

[Jennifer] “The dairy plans have got the go-ahead … it is such a  relief”

Well, only for some.

Though especially for Jennifer, I suppose. She might get Brian to talk to about something else.

Bit surprising that the Super Dairy getting the planning permission wasn’t the hot topic of Ambridge today.

But those residents will make their own mind up about what to talk about near those secret microphones.


Chris van gets burgled

Poor Chris.

Scrimps and saves to buy his own business, and only moments into it, someone robs him.

He’d left tools in the van overnight. Which he has to do as he has so many of them. And it doesn’t help that the van has to be parked away from the house as there’s no room to park it out front.

AND no-one had thought to tell Chris and Alice about the suspicious car seen on Home Farm land.

Jennifer did seem that sympathetic when Alice told her. I think she was slightly put out that Alice’s news had overshadowed Brian’s about the Super Dairy.

[Jennifer] “Well at least they didn’t take the van itself … they can buy more tools, surely.”

True. And the insurance will cover it.

But it means the van will be out of action for at least a few days (while the lock is getting fixed). And, it’s not just about ‘stuff’.

[Alice] “The van was practically new. It was his pride and joy,. We went through a lot to get it”

Alice passed her exams

Not that she’s pleased about it (because of Chris’ tolls getting stolen), nor that Jennifer thought to ask (too preoccupied by Brian possibly now not being preoccupied).

But they all later come to and start to celebrate.

[Jennifer] “My daughter … the Engineer”

[Chris] “My wife, the engineer”

And though Jennifer wanted them both to come out on a celebratory dinner, Chris pretended that he’d already booked a table.

[Chris] “I wasn’t going to have your mum steal a march on me!”

Jennifer will stop Chris and Alice having kids

If she keeps walking in on them getting *ahem* close.

Jennifer walked in as Alice was just about to console Chris about his tools.

But Alice is also getting just as good at being unsubtle:

[Alice] “Oh no don’t do that. Mum’s just going”

[Jennifer] “Am I?”

Is Carl married?

Usha bumps into Annabelle at a Chamber do (the one Alan couldn’t go to because he’s on retreat). They pal up.

While Annabelle has to do her BL duty and talk momentarily to other BL directors, Usha spots Amy’s Carl. He seems surprised.

[Carl] “I just didn’t realise there would be lawyers here”

[Usha] “Well it is the Chamber of Commerce. Where there’s money you usually find lawyers, I’m afraid”

Then things got very odd.

Carl seemed to be at first particularly glad that Alan wasn’t there.

[Carl] “Oh, safely out of the way then”

But then Carl seemed to make a quick escape from Usha. While she sounded quite keen to spent time with him.

I didn’t really understand what was happening. Did Carl have a fancy for Usha? Or she him?

Then Annabelle started talking about a lady called Rochelle also at the do.

A talented lawyer. Beautiful, brainy.

And, she has a rather handsome husband. Who is standing right next to her …

… anyone didn’t (by that point) guess that it was Carl?

[Annabelle] “Talk about having it all. Doesn’t it make you sick?”

[Usha] “Yes. Yes it does”

Right, well that would explain the more wonderful than wonderful Carl.

Or does it?

When Alan met Carl 23.04.12

(it was adoration at first sight)

The Archers Monday 23rd April 2012

• Those “so English” bells
• Phil’s birthday
• When’s a cake not a cake?
• Tom’s had a grand day
• Carl comes to tea
• Lynda to “have a blitz on the noticeboards”
• Promises still to be delivered

Those “so English” bells

Seemed the whole village was enjoying today’s bell ringing for Saint George’s Day. And Lily was one of the ringers.

Alan and Jill listened in together.

Well, they actually spoke through most of it.


Phil’s birthday

Was today. He would have really enjoyed the bells, reckoned Jill.


When’s a cake not a cake?

When it’s a gateau made by Lily for Elizabeth’s birthday the other day.

Actually, Lily had made Elizabeth’s whole birthday tea French themed.


Tom’s had a grand day

Which I always hate to hear, as success does make him ever that bit more smug.

Tom was actually taking time off to relax with a glass of wine, in the garden, with Brenda (while they listened to the bells).

Tom was chuffed that his poly tunnels are finally on their way. Because of the mix up, he’s also scored an inset netting and a shade net (whatever they are) thrown in free.

And he’s chuffed that Underwoods has increased their order for sausages.

And he’s chuffed that he’s also asked for, and got, a discount from one of their feed suppliers.

[Tom] “It shows how much untapped potential there is on the farm … think what I could do if I really got stuck in”

AND the Police have found his quad bike.

Phew! What a day.

[Brenda] “You just sit here and enjoy the warm glow of a good days work”

Though Tom did make mention that he might put the ready meals on hold for a while.

Interesting … actually, probably not.


Carl comes to tea
(and a biscuit)

Though Amy was annoyed at Alan for being late to meet Carl (only be 10 minutes), the ‘meet the parents’ trauma wasn’t at all traumatic.

Usha and Carl bonded over her experience of moving from Africa (her words), and his grandparents having moved from Jamaica to the UK. Usha says she still misses the warmth and colours of the African sun. The UK feels drab in comparison.

[Amy] “Nan said that too, like god has switched the lights off”

Carl reckons that his nan thinks that too. What’s more:

[Carl] “She likes to play up her exotic Caribbean routes”

They’re on again about how Carl goes to see his nan every weekend.

But that he’s got a photo of his nan on his phone is a bit creepy …

Seems Carl’s grandparents came from Mandeville in Jamaica. Which is also where Mabel (Amy’s nan, Alan’s first wife’s mum) came from.

That’s a coincidence.

And when Alan first comes in, Carl calls him “sir”. Then again when he was leaving.

Which was again a bit creepy, and quite unnecessary.

[Carl] “My grandmother is so impressed I’m going out with a pastor’s daughter”

Huh. Blatant sooking up as well.

After he’d gone:

[Alan] “Well, what a nice young man … and he really seems to have feelings for Amy … nice to be able to share Catherine’s memories. Mabel’s going to be so pleased Amy’s going out with someone with Jamaican roots”

[Usha] “Mabel will be buying a hat”

[Alan] “Amy’s found a thoughtful intelligent man who makes her happy”

Hmmm …


Lynda to “have a blitz on the noticeboards”

While Neil and Jill was sort out the wildlife area of the graveyard.

All in good cause:

[Jill] “You’ve got to have it all spick and span looking for the jubilee”

Quite.


Promises still to be delivered

It’s taking some folks some time to come good on the promises they auctioned off.

Though I suppose some of it was seasonal.

Ed and George will be round tonight to do a slug patrol at Jill’s.

Those eyebrows are still being raised about Sabrina Thwaite still telling Harry to wait to do his bit for her. Everyone thinks she wants it to be hot enough for him to take his top off.

[Jill] “If I was a bit younger, I might have out a bid in for him myself!”

Aye indeed. Good looking, intelligent, and ever so silent (these days …).

Hello to Amy’s Carl 20.04.12

The Archers Friday 20th April 2012

• Alan feels sorry for girls named Beyoncé
• What’s wrong with Carl?
• Is Usha representing Clive?
• Brian’s ignoring Jennifer
• Carl’s take on Ambridge
• Usha’s a lemon
• Usha’s been in Ambridge for 20 years
• Robert challenged James to step outside …

Alan feels sorry for girls named Beyoncé

Interesting.

He was sparked to say that after Usha mentioned New Zealand has brought in regulations to stop parents naming their kids silly names. Like Tallulah Does The Hula from Hawaii.


What’s wrong with Carl?

[Alan] “I’m beginning to think this bloke’s got too heads or something”

Is Usha representing Clive?

Usha’s not happy about a client she’s having to represent. She tried to palm him off on a colleague, but has “drawn the short straw” again. She’s represented him before, and knows that if she doesn’t get him off, no matter how clear his guilt, he’ll blame her.

That sounds like Mr Clive Horrobin …


Brian’s ignoring Jennifer

Jennifer’s trying to talk to Brian about anything other than the Super Dairy.

On Kate’s studying:

[Jennifer] “I didn’t think there was that much to say about vibration in aeroplanes … all sounds pretty dull stuff to me”

But Brian’s not listening. He’s getting angry about being asked for more documentation from the Environment Agency, which he’s already sent to them.

He later walks away when Jennifer was telling him the gossip about James and Leonie.

It’s simply Super Dairy, Super Dairy, Super Dairy for Brian.

[Brian] “I don’t understand it Jenny … I don’t know what else to do”

[Jennifer] “Look, come and have a drink .. .darling, how about a whisky?”

Brian’s particularly annoyed that it’s now after office hours on Friday, so he’ll have to wait through the whole weekend to see on Monday if the Environment Agency will finally send their report.

He’s especially worried about the Board meeting next Thursday. If the report still isn’t in, or if (worse still) the report doesn’t back the Super Dairy, he’ll resign.


Carl’s take on Ambridge

We get to meet Carl

And he’s sounds perfectly normal. Well, at least it didn’t sound like he was talking out of two heads …

He and Amy are having a drink in Jaxx.

[Amy] “Half the people in the village are called Archer. It’s a sort of, dynasty”

[Carl] “Lords of the manor?”

[Amy] “Not at all. They’re all farmers”

[Carl] “Except this Kenton”

[Amy] “I think he’s the bad boy of the family”

[Carl] “Two bars and a merry widow called Jolene, what more could a man wish for? … I must say I’m beginning to like the sound of Ambridge … an idyllic little village with all these boiling passions just under the surface … the gamekeeper fighting his brother over a woman …your posh friend running off with the village blacksmith  … I wonder if it’s true of all villages … that beneath the tranquil surface, and the roses round the door, there are dark secrets and endless feuds …”

Amy doesn’t think that exactly sounds like Ambridge, and also points out that the worst thing of living in Ambridge is how information has a habit of “leaking out into the community”.

(ha! Hasn’t Amy just been “leaking information” to Carl?)


Usha’s a lemon

Usha walks into Jaxx while Amy and Carl are kissing.

She’s says hello, then tries to go and sit elsewhere. But Carl insists that she sits down with them.

She finds out that Carl works in IT, for a company that has something to do with automotive components. Just as Shula sometimes has difficult Carl, so does he (when trying to introduce new systems and the like).

[Carl to Amy] “At least all your clients are fabulously grateful!”

Usha later told Alan:

[Usha] “I felt like a lemon”

But on Carl:

[Usha] “Absolutely charming … early thirties … and very good looking … so polite and easy going … and he’s obviously just as smitten with Amy as she is with him … Amy’s found herself a good ‘un, be glad!”

Wow. Sounds like if Amy doesn’t want him, Usha would gladly step in.


Usha’s been in Ambridge for 20 years

Blimey!

[Usha] “I would say the pleasures of village life far outweigh the disadvantages”

Robert challenged James to step outside …

(well no, not really)

Jennifer had heard from Lilian that Robert had turned up at James’ door for Leonie’s stuff.

[Brian] “What Robert? There to defend his daughter’s honour? To challenge James to a duel?”

Though Robert didn’t challenge James, he did have to play referee. Seems Leonie and James couldn’t split their stuff without squabbling.

[Jennifer] “She tried to walk off with an Afghan rig that James had bought long before they got together and ended up having a tug of war …”

Alan’s burnt his nose 16.04.12

The Archers Monday 16^th April 2012

• Alan and Usha are back from Marrakech
• Amy’s back from her weekend
• What’s the problem with Carl?
• Hattie Marshall is “alternative”
• Heavy lorries
• Jennifer is bored
• Mildew in the wheat
• What’s James’ side of the argument?

Alan and Usha are back from Marrakech

They had a lovely time, but Alan is also quite glad to get back to his own bed, and to being cool again. He has a sunburnt nose.

[Alan] “I’m from Yorkshire; we don’t really do blazing sunshine!”

Usha does not concur.

[Usha] “It was just what I needed … proper sunshine”

But we’ll leave it to Alan to tell us why we should all visit Marrakech.

[Alan] “You’ve got to put it in your list of places to visit before you do … and it’s so pink”

Um … okay … right you are, Alan.

Amy’s back from her weekend

Though Alan was a bit surprised she came back home rather than staying at Carl’s – she came straight back after midnight.

[Amy] “It was quite wonderful … brilliantly, fabulously wonderful”

Amy and Carl stayed in a lovely, huge, luxurious room.

Though Alan rather naïvely asked Amy what they did … Amy answered ‘walks’ … hmmm.

What’s the problem with Carl?

I don’t know if I’m missing something – but (a) why is Amy keeping Carl at arm’s length from her nearest and dearest and (b) why is Alan, Usha and Alice so desperate to meet him?

[Usha] “You always imagine the worst”

[Alan] “I worry about her. She seems so keen on this bloke”

Amy thinks Alice is so interested because she and Chris are on a budget, which means:

[Usha] “She has to get her thrills vicariously”

Still odd that they are all so obsessed with meeting Carl. But I agree with Alan that it’s just as od d that Amy is being so secretive.

[Amy] “He’s my boyfriend, I don’t have to share him around”

Ach well, we’ll meet Carl sooner or later.

Hattie Marshall is “alternative”

It’s planning meeting eve.

Lynda’s a bit perturbed to hear Alan say that he isn’t going to the Planning Meeting. He reckons he’s already “alienated half” of his family. He also doesn’t see what good it would do. The Super Dairy will march on regardless.

Lynda argues that not all of the planning committee are decided, and they are also unaware of how strong public opinion is against the Super Dairy. Coming back to Hattie Marshall as their secret weapon – Lynda boasts about just how articulate Hattie can be.

[Alan] “Though she’s a bit, alternative … combat trousers and a nose ring”

Whatever could Adam mean by that …???

[Lynda] “You shouldn’t judge people by their appearance, Adam”

Quite right Lynda.

Adam should know better. But then again, he is the spawn of Jennifer …

Heavy lorries

Will be on their way through Ambridge if the Super Dairy goes ahead.

One went by Lynda today, which she got uppity about.

But it was actually going to Brookfield (it’s the start of the materials for the new Tank being delivered).

Wait until Lynda hears about Brookfield’s new system also meaning the cows will be in for longer.

Jennifer is bored

Of Brian’s incessant rambling about the Super Dairy.

With the Planning Meeting looming, it really is all he can think about, talk about and do.

Kevin Townsend says Esther Sutton is in favour of the dairy, says Brian.

[Brian] “She’s about 105, she’s been on the council forever … well, she’s got to be outing 80 … she’s really old school … an arch traditionalist,. All in favour of cows in fields and milk maids with stools”

And it’s okay about the impact on the crayfish in the Am – they sorted that out by just filling out a few forms.

(will no one think of the crayfish?!?)

But the Environmental Health Agency haven’t as yet filled their report. Which could scupper the planning meeting.

No wonder Jennifer is bored and find escape at Grey Gables’ swimming pool.

Mildew in the wheat

Adam has found mildew in the Home Farm wheat.

Brian could care less.

Trouble at Home Farm while Brian’s absorbed in the Super Dairy?

What’s James’ side of the argument?

Lynda’s certainly keen to know. Actually, Leonie isn’t even revealing what the argument (which split them up) was about in the first place.

[Lynda] “We’ve had a comprehensive run down of james’ character flows, his personal habits and his unfortunate choice of friends, but we’re none the wiser what precipitated the parting of ways”

[Jennifer] “I think it’s something of a miracle the relationship lasted long as it did … they do say every cloud has a silver lining”

Quite agree Jennifer. Though hope the Leonie-in-Ambridge situation isn’t too prolonged.

Greensleeves abused in propaganda DVD 11.04.12

Archers Wednesday 11th April 2012

• Amy buys a new dress
• Brian’s propaganda machine
• Native crayfish might scupper the Super Dairy
• Jennifer does the washing up
• Pat in shopping shock!
• Ed hasn’t got freedom to speak

Amy buys a new dress

For her weekend away with Carl.

Though she wants to go to Westbury, Alice advises that she might want to have a perusal in Underwoods lingerie department …


Brian’s propaganda machine

Has now marched on to DVD.

He reckons it’s quite “persuasive”. And Jennifer seems very impressed by the voiceover bloke.

[Jennifer] “Oh, lovely tamper … I could listen to him all day, even if he is talking about anaerobic digestion”

All sounds a bit iffy to me. And the use (abuse) of Greensleeves as background music is just outrageous!


Native crayfish might scupper the Super Dairy

What a picture that paints!

While Brian is delighted that the Council’s Chief Planning Officer is recommending approval to the planning committee, he’s not so happy that the Environment Agency has not submitted its report. They seem especially worried about the slurry and BL underestimating what could happen if it leaks. So they want another risk assessment.

That falls to some chap called Bryn to do.

Which isn’t good news for Bryn, as Brian reckons he’s also missed covering (in his first report) the risk that the Super Dairy will pose to native crayfish in the Am. Something that Borchester Wildlife Trust had to point out.

So it’s Free The Ambridge Cow and now also Save The Ambridge Crayfish!


Jennifer does the washing up

Deary me.

Jennifer and Alice are rubbish at communicating with each other.

Alice is irritated that Jennifer pops round to her and Chris’ so often. Jennifer is blissfully unaware that her frequent visits are indeed irritating.

After Alice gets back from shopping with Amy, she finds Jennifer already in her house, with a leftover casserole (Alice had already cooked lasagne) and doing her dishes.

[Alice, annoyed] “You shouldn’t’ have … no, I mean it mum. You shouldn’t have!”

Oops. Jennifer will be mortified, though it may get Alice and Chris a bit of privacy. She’ll be wanting to get that Blacksmith’s apron on again soon …


Pat in shopping shock!

When Amy and Alice were in Underwoods, Alice was a bit chocked to see Pat there.

[Alice] “Are you shopping Pat?”

[Pat, not sure whether to be confused or insulted] “Yes”

[Alice] “Rather than delivering, I mean”

[Pat] “I don’t usually deliver to ladies wear”

Silly Alice.


Ed hasn’t got freedom to speak

Pat asks Ed if he’ll be interviewed for an anti-Super Dairy newspaper feature – showing that big isn’t always beautiful.

He doesn’t sound convinced. Even though Pat runs through all the arguments for cows lasting longer at his dairy, that he sells local, and that the feature will be good for his business.

[Ed] “But no. no it’s not something I could go ahead with … I’m afraid so. Well I dunno if you know, but I rent a bit of estate land”

Seems Mike had a word with Ed after Ed spoke out against at the Parish Council meeting to discuss the Super Dairy. Mike reckons he was taking a right going publically against BL, who could then decide to not renew his rental of the land.

[Pat] “They wouldn’t be that petty, surely … you can’t allow yourself be intimidated like that”

[Ed] “I’m sorry pat, I've got too much too loose … I’m still against this mega diary … but I can’t go rocking the boat like that”

That’s a bit weak of Ed to not stand up, but understandable considering his business is still fairly new.

Wonder what Brian would have to say about it? I think Pat and Ed are wrong just to assume that he’d punish Ed for having his own mind.

Benjamin eats a hat 01.04.12

The Archers Sunday 1st April 2012

• Benjamin was well behaved … then not
• Why do the arks need moved again?
• Jazzer damaged the bull bar
• Janine is the new lady in Jazzer’s life
• Christening a Forge
• The truth about Amy and Carl
• Jolene wants everyone in the car park
• Harry had to check his cereal
• Jennifer is still “popping in”

Benjamin was well behaved … then not

Benjamin and Shula are back at St Stephen’s for Palm Sunday.

(Benjamin is Shula’s donkey, generally only making an appearance in Ambridge at Palm Sunday).

He was very well behaved at first.

But later “went for” Pat Fletcher’s hat.

Seems she goes purple when she’s upset …

Shula later tells Jill that she thinks it was Pat Fletcher’s fault for flapping her hat about in the first place.

(mais non – if Pat Fletcher said no, she said no!)

By the by – we had the first mention of someone acknowledging that Shula has been in Ste Stephens more often than not recently. Jill said it was nice to see her back, though Shula did make mention that she’d be going elsewhere for the Easter walk.


Why do the arks need moved again?

Jazzer’s back (well, back near the secret microphones), and is moaning that the rain means all of the pigs need fresh straw.

AND the arks need moved. Again.

Is that normal pig management behaviour? To keep moving the arks?


Jazzer damaged the bull bar

Of Tom’s quad bike.

[Jazzer] “90% of it was doon to the gatepost, It was in the wrang place!”

[Tom] “Next to the gate!”

But not to worry. Though Tom wants Jazzer to do extra shifts for him, they’re not as punishment – Tom will pay extra. He’s just that busy.

[Jazzer] “Hold on, let me do my concerned face …”

Janine is the new lady in Jazzer’s life

[Jazzer] “I telt Janine, if she serves Tom Archer pork, we’re done before we’re started!”

Ooh.

I know Jazzer is a cheeky monkey, but not a clever thing to say to one’s boss.


Christening a Forge

Are what Chris and Alice intend to do on Thursday – the day that Chris gets ownership of the forge.

He’ll make his first piece of work in his own place, glass of wine, then a meal out.

Alice is keen for Amy to come. With Carl.


The truth about Amy and Carl

Alice is obsessed with wanting to meet Amy’s new love interest, Carl. Alan is also dropping hints.

So to get Alice off of her back, Amy explains all.

It’s quite simple, really. She just wants to take it slow with Carl.

[Amy] “This feels, special. I don’t want to wreck it”

[Alice] “You won’t. Carl is a very lucky guy. Have some faith in yourself”

But that’s exactly what Amy doesn’t have bags and bags of (faith in herself).

Amy tells Alice about her “mood” over Christmas because of what Alan had found out about her mum.

[Amy] “Dad found out that mum had been to prison … a secure children’s home … she stabbed someone when she was a kid … I’d always though mum was like, fantastic, then suddenly she wasn’t like that anymore … the worse thing was, the way I was feeling, it kinda made sense … I couldn’t work out why I do certain things, you know I have a really short temper … what I thought was that if mum could stab someone, maybe here’s some of that in me as well … so disgusted, I really did hate myself …”

Amy explains that her mum’s attack had happened because of constant racist abuse.

[Amy] “Just because I get angry sometimes, doesn’t mean I’m an awful person. Mum was a decent person, I shouldn't have doubted her … if someone like him thinks I’m okay, then I must be … I’m putting all that daft stuff behind me, but only one step at a time”

So – Amy wants to keep Carl away from her nearest and dearest because she’s still slightly worried she’s not a good ‘un?

I don’t see the sense in that.

Surely meeting the lovely Alan and co would only prove that she is?

Or does Amy just really (really) want to keep Carl away from Ambridge?


Jolene wants everyone in the car park

Steady on! I thought she was committed to our Kenton.

I jest.

Jolene wants everyone in The Bull’s car park for the flyover photo session by James and Leonie. Jazzer reckons she even wants them to make a shape like a bull’s horns.

[Jazzer] “that’s if that chinless wonder managed to point the camera the right way”

Though Tom reckons James is not an idiot:

[Jazzer] “Could pass for one in an emergency”

Jolene even wants her regulars to practise, as the photo could go down in history.

Hmmm.


Harry had to check his cereal

For booby traps.

[Jazzer] “Just cause it’s April the first, he assumes I’m gonnae act like some kind of kid!”

[Tom] “What did you actually do?”

[Jazzer] “Itching powder in his cycling shorts”

[Tom] “Excellent”

Jennifer is still “popping in”

To Alice and Chris’.

And it’s still irritating Alice that she does so.

[Amy] “It’s nice that she likes spending time with you”

Alice reckons that it’s more to do with Jennifer wanting to get away from Brian while he’s so stressed and preoccupied with the Super Dairy planning meeting (two weeks away).

Family secrets no more 28.03.12

The Archers Wednesday 28th March 2012

• Caribou Kirsty
• Email from Rich
• Alice and Amy on Chris
• Belly busters need Tom’s bangers
• Another pop at Maurice
• Ambridge by Air
• Alice and Amy on Carl

Caribou Kirsty

Is one of Kenton’s special Easter cocktails.

Though Amy doesn’t want one. She’d prefer a Cranberry spritzer, even though she’s on a night out with Alice. She has work tomorrow.

Delights of Ambridge’s Easter holidays will also include a “Harry and Jazzer Special Quiz” at The Bull, and a retro night at Jaxx.

[Kenton] “You know where the hottest night in town will be!”

Email from Rich

Delights Tony and Pat.

He tells them that he really enjoyed his visit, and would like to come back again. He even mentioned the pigs twice.

(high praise indeed!)

(I was then momentarily taken aback when Pat knew how to download a photo Rich had sent to them onto a memory stick, to then get printed out in town)

[Pat] “He looks so similar yet so different”

Tony and Pat discuss whether it is now time to tell the rest of the family, considering it looks like Rich is about to become part of their life.

[Tony] “Maybe it’s time to end all the secrecy”

[Pat] “It’s been so overwhelming, I never thought of Peggy or your sisters”

But they decide to ask Tom and Helen first, considering the problems they caused last time they weren’t consulted.

When they show Tom the email.

[Tom] “Good attitude to pigs”

When they tell him about them wanting to tell their close family:

[Tom] “Oh. Everybody … That’s fine by me”

So Pat will do a ring round tomorrow to ask everyone over.

After all the surprises Bridge Farm has had over the last year:

[Pat] “I wonder what Peggy, Jennifer and Lilian will make of this one?”

Huh. Haven’t they forgotten to ask Helen, or does Tom speak for both of them now?



Alice and Amy on Chris

[Amy] “Chris is so good to you”

[Alice] “I know. It’s a good job I deserve it!”

Belly busters need Tom’s bangers

So Tom delivered them in the evening to a Tom’s bangers bereft Jaxx.


Another pop at Maurice

What’s he done to deserve that recently?

Seems the sealer at Bridge Farm went, which has created more delays and problems.

[Tom] “You can imagine how Maurice has reacted!”

[Kenton] “With a smile on his lips and a song in his heart”

He’s not mentioned for years, then harassed twice in as many days!


Ambridge by Air

Word is spreading about Leonie and James’ plans to take photographs of Ambridge from the air.

[Kenton] “There was nearly a riot when Derek Fletcher found out … an outrageous invasion of privacy … even now, I suspect he’s arming his garden gnomes with rocket launchers”

And Tom reckons that if it’s a warm day, there may be real invasions of privacy if folks are sunbathing for an all over tan.


Alice and Amy on Carl

[Amy] “He’s nice”

[Alice] “French fries are nice Amy, I want to know how hot and fit!”

Poor Amy. She’s just started seeing this bloke, but Alice wants every detail.

Amy tells her he has great eyes. He’s masculine, but sensitive. Great sense of humour.

And they’ve had breakfast together …

[Alice] “There’s no point denying it. You’re glowing!”

And there’s more.

His family is really important to him (he checks his parents’ house every weekend while they’re over in Spain).

And he visits his gran in her nursing home.

[Amy] “I think he’s great”

Just me, or do we think Carl is far too good to be true?

Him visiting his gran is pushing it …