The Archers Sunday 28th October 2012
- Safaris, Supermarkets and sheets
- Topical insert: the clocks have changed
- Will Naomi be a b*tch to Fallon?
- Matt’s channelling Alf Garnett
- Only proper bangers for the big bangs
- Gies a bell
Safaris, Supermarkets and sheets
Will’s got a day off next Thursday. As it’s half term, he wants to take George with him and their side of the family to a Safari.
Emma sounds irritated. But how can she say no? It’s more than she and Ed can offer.
On the flip side, Ed’s pondering whether to try and get night shifts stacking shelves at Tesco.
Emma reckons not.
They need the money, but neither Ed, nor their marriage, would survive it.
It does seem to be getting worse and worse for Ed and Emma.
They now can’t afford batteries for George’s toys (yikes! A child without toys to occupy them. *shudder*)
[Emma] “He can play with his pet guinea pig instead.”
(we seriously need to get that guinea pig out of there. She doesn’t sound at all appreciated)
But it’s not all doom and gloom. Emma’s found a Halloween party at the library, which is free (and hopefully fun). So, rather than compete with Will, she’s going to do the best with what she has to hand. Which means making George a costume.
[Emma] “I really need something to make that white sheet more interesting …”
Emma sticks stars to it.
But later on, she’s distraught at her creation.
[Emma] “Well if I can’t even make Georgie a Halloween costume, what use am I?”
She starts to panic.
They need oil before Christmas. Winter clothes for Keira. And then there’s Christmas.
To add to her woes, Will drops George back early, without feeding him.
AND Will’s bought George a wizard costume. It was only £6.99 …
AND:
[George] “Mummy, Nic’s food tastes nicer than yours. We had chicken today.”
Oh, goodness me.
I’m starting to really feel sorry for Emma. She is trying, more so than ever.
She bins the costume she’s made:
[Emma] “It’s rubbish. I’m rubbish.”
Ever more grim …
Topical insert: the clocks have changed
It fell to Emma to remind us this year that the clocks have changed:
[Emma] “I feel weird enough today with the clocks changing.”
Cheers Emma!
Will Naomi be a b*tch to Fallon?
Fallon seems to think so.
She thinks Naomi thinks (!) that her (Fallon) getting the job was a “stitch up”.
Well.
Naomi’s not too far off the mark.
Matt’s channelling Alf Garnett
Matt’s rather random bad behaviour continues.
He’s refusing to lift a finger to help James.
Now James may be a pain, but he is Lilian’s son, and he is genuinely hurt.
But no.
Matt won’t help cook (leaving Lilian to do it all). And he won’t check on James when Lilian’s out (so Lilian can’t go out very often). He justifies it by saying he never wanted kids in the first place:
[Matt] “That’s precisely why I never had one, far too demanding.”
And with that, he goes to the pub.
So, Lilian calls Paul to tell him how much of an arse Matt is being. Paul must be delighted to hear that their relationship is rapidly deteriorating.
[Paul] “Isn’t that what Alf Garnett used to say, ‘I’m going down the pub’?”
Only proper bangers for the big bangs
Jolene’s organising The Bull’s Bonfire night. She stresses to Tom that she wants his traditional sausages, not the spicy ones.
Seems only “proper” sausages will do.
Gies a bell
Lilian’s had to borrow the closing time bell from The Bull to give to James.
Does that means there’s no closing time?
- Free Roy!
- Oh, he’s quite happy. Actually.
- Emily Onslow
- Nasty Elizabeth
- Lewis on Julia
- Nasty Bert
- Roy’s good with flowers
- Grant is passionate about his savoys
- Topical insert
- Lewis says it with puddings
Free Roy!
I thought Caroline and Elizabeth were quite liberal ladies, but they’re starting to sound like slave traders.
Caroline’s agreed to give Roy for another week to Elizabeth.
He’s a man, not a stapler!
Oh, he’s quite happy. Actually.
Later on, as Roy’s talking to Lewis, he’s waxing lyrical about how impressive Lower Loxley is – big, luxurious and has a history.
[Roy] “I feel so energised this week, working here … I love my hotel work, but it’s quite repetitious … and there’s lots of potential”
And he’s off – talking to Elizabeth about strategies – bringing in younger people – rock bands – Glastonbury (which no, Elizabeth, is not quite the same as opera)
[Elizabeth] “I’m meant to be taking it easy this week, but here you are, firing up my brain”
oo-er!
Maybe Roy will have more than one position to fill!
(sorry – that’s very crude)
Anyhoo. I know I’d prefer to work for Caroline over Elizabeth, anyday.
Emily Onslow
VERY exciting news that Emily Onslow can judge the Easter Bonnet competition at Lower Loxley.
[Elizabeth] “she’s got that bijou hat shop in Felpersham”
And I thought having Camilla in Ambridge was a pinnacle!
Nasty Elizabeth
Everyone agrees that Lewis is still looking drawn and tired after his bout of flu.
But only Elizabeth is a bi*ch about it.
[Elizabeth] “You’re not responsible for everyone, mum”
[Jill] “Lewis is family”
Course he is! Which is why Jill is worried and wants to help him.
That Elizabeth can be such a selfish madam. If it isn’t about her, she isn’t interested.
Nevermind that Lewis was Nigel’s stepdad – moi, moi, moi!
Lewis on Julia
[Lewis] “Each room tells a story at Lower Loxley. I still expect to see Julia in every one of them … You and I lives our lives in black and white Roy, but Julia lives hers in a blaze of colour. Like a glorious, angry sunset”
[Roy] “The thing I remember about Julia is that she never could remember my name”
Nasty Bert
There must be something in the air, but Bert also turned nasty when talking to Elizabeth about the allotments.
Well, not exactly nasty. Just a bit pushy and insensitive.
Bert was laying it on thick that the allotments:
[Bert] “was like a last, big generous gesture”
Um.
I’m sure that wasn’t what Nigel was thinking as he screamed down to his death (“I’m so terribly glad I organised those allotments …”)
Bert’s worried as Elizabeth has delayed taking on seasonal staff for the Orangery until everything picks up again – and is determined to protect his beloved allotments.
Fair enough – good cause – laudable passion – but not quite the right timing.
Roy’s good with flowers
Or so it seems, if we can take Elizabeth’s reaction as an indicator.
What did he do to them that was so special?
Grant is passionate about his savoys
… but quite reserved in the shop.
So there you have it.
Topical insert
Elizabeth and Bert are talking about the clocks going back.
Bert’s happy as it means an hour longer in the allotments.
Elizabeth sees it as an hour less sleep.
Lewis says it with puddings
Lewis isn’t having an easy time of it.
Step-son dies. Gets shouted at a lot by his step-daughter-in-law. Gets the flu. And now seems to be peed off by some bloke at Lower Loxley.
[Lewis] “That man is a complete pain. Everything I say is wrong!”
(did anyone have a clue about who he was talking about)
Then Freddie gets on his nerves when Jill is asking what he wants for tea. Freddie wants lots of puddings Jill doesn’t have the ingredients for.
[Lewis] “Oh for heaven sake, Freddie you’re being very demanding. When I was a boy I ate what I was given!”
Jill takes him to task over speaking to Freddie like that. He is just a wee chap, who has lost his dad and recently had a scare over his mum.
Lewis is quite ashamed of himself.
[Lewis] “It’s been a whole since a woman told me off … I shouldn’t have spoken to him like that … I sometimes feel like the spare part around here”
Lewis later seeks Freddie out, as he’s visiting Cranford Chrystal. Lewis starts waffling on about semolina, and how he used to swirl the jam into it to make it pink, when he was a boy.
[Freddie] “Daddy promised I could join his pudding club this year”
Aha! There’s the reason for Freddie’s pudding obsession.
[Freddie] “What’s tapioca?”
[Lewis] “Frog-spawn, made with milk and sugar”
Lewis then mutters something about “lashings of hot custard”, and it seems they’re best mates again.
[Lewis] “I’m being a grumpy old man today. I can hear, but I just can’t stop it. We’re all doing our best, you know”
The Archers: Lamb and veg … the postman might slip … Helen’s heading for a fall
- “Is it wise to have braised lamb on a bed of mash with all the veg?”
- The first Mart meeting
- Ian’s menu is sparky
- Peggy worries for the postman
- Hilary Noakes won £6
- Helen’s in agony
- Tea and a sandwich
- Topical Inserts ahoy!
“Is it wise to have braised lamb on a bed of mash with all the veg?”
Brian seemed to think so.
But I’m with Annabelle.
A large lunch does not make for a productive afternoon.
The first Mart meeting
Despite Annabelle’s ascertain that
“Inaugural meetings barely amount to much”
Matt (via Lilian) didn’t want to let anything pass without comment.
[Annabelle] “Anyone else feel we were at an old fashioned séance … with Lilian busily channelling Matt”
Seemingly the phrase “I broadly agree” is a very Matt phase – which generally, when uttered by Matt, meant that he actually want to trash the plan he was ‘broadly’ agreeing to.
Lilian reckons she’s already constantly being “steamrolled”, and is making sure Amside’s issues are being recorded.
But it’s only going to get more and more complicated as Matt tries to control the project while not being able to be directly be involved.
Despite Lilian not actually managing to get the results Matt wants (so far), she’s at least having a go. And Annabelle also appreciates Lilian providing a dissenting voice. Even if that voice is actually Matt.
[Brian] “If she takes out a large Havana and playing with a cigar cutter, we’ll know she’s completely possessed”
Ian’s menu is sparky
And he seemingly did a grand job as the Great Magini at Ruairi’s birthday party.
Do we foresee a career change?
I’d not be sure about how Adam would look as Ian’s glamorous assistant. I don’t picture him as being able to pull off a tasselled bikini …
Peggy worries for the postman
Nabbed by Lilian outside (in the cold) sweeping up the leaves, Peggy’s worried that if left, the postman might slip.
As, bless her wee cotton socks.
Peggy was also passing the time after Lilian didn’t turn up in time for lunch.
How rude!
Hilary Noakes won £6
At the Race Night.
And her bragging contributed to Lilian being late for Peggy’s lunch.
See the dangers of gambling!
Helen’s in agony
[Lilian] “Silly girl has been dragging herself in … she can barely stand up”
Helen still isn’t taking it easy.
Goodness know why. As a self-employed person, I’d be more than delighted to have a real reason to take time off.
It’s also strange that Helen can be so aware of her body (in terms of calories), but so unaware of when her body is also craving rest.
Lilian did persuade her to go home – and then also followed her home in her car to make sure that she’d be able to drive okay (big tummies and steering wheels don’t mix).
Oh dear. You know when Lilian takes notice, something has to be wrong.
Tea and a sandwich
Helen took the tea, but refused a sandwich.
Which is surely a shame. I think Peggy would make a cracker of a sarnie.
Worried about Helen after hearing from Lilian that she was in a bad way, Peggy popped round to try and help.
Helen’s actually sat there, tracking the shop online.
Take five minutes off, for goodness sake lassie!
As much as Peggy is a dear for taking the time to check Helen, she isn’t quite ready to be wholly supportive of Helen having a baby by herself:
[Peggy] “Oh … it’s such a shame … I do wish you weren’t going through all this on your own … I remember how exhausting and difficult being pregnant can be”
[Helen] “It’s all been easier than I expected … I seem to be managing perfectly well by myself”
Are you Helen? Are you, really?
Topical Inserts ahoy!
The BBC are claiming credit yet again for putting ‘topical inserts’ into tonight’s ‘episode.
Peggy mentioned to Helen that she’d be watching daytime TV, which is not a normal habit for her, but she’d become hooked on the announcement that there’s a soon-to-be Royal wedding.
[Helen] “They look quite comfortable together”
[Peggy] “He seems quite romantic … She seems a very level headed girl, and a very good age to get married” (hint, hint Helen!)
Then Peggy even managed to notice the flooding in Cornwall. Which, my fine fellow Archers folks, is not even in Ambridge.
