The Archers Wednesday 11th January 2012
- Tom’s fragile
- Why Tom so surprised to see Brenda putting makeup on?
- Meatballs on a stick impress Tom
- A use for uncle Gary!
- Emma don’t want no crockery
- George Barford and Walter Gabriel
- Tracey makes Bert sign
- Happy wee Grundy people
- Clarrie’s a bludger
- Tom’s on about kids again …
Tom’s fragile
Seems he needs a “pint or two of coffee” and painkillers.
We didn’t hear him at Pat’s Party, but sounds like he had a good time.
Though Matt and Lilian were still up when they left at 3am … when Brenda later say Lilian at work, Lilian only came down after lunchtime, asked what messages there were, then went off not to be seen again.
Why Tom so surprised to see Brenda putting makeup on?
It might have just been because they had both been out so late (so why bother making yourself up when you stink of booze!), but wonder if it’s because Brenda doesn’t make an effort anymore …
… not that I think women have to wear make-up to be making an effort. Just that I’ve always imagined bust Brenda as a lady who slaps it on …
Meatballs on a stick impress Tom
He really is easily pleased, is that boy.
Tom was really taken with the meatballs on sticks served at Pat’s party last night. They came with a “yummy” dipping sauce.
Tom checked with the caterers – the sauce had tomatoes and red peppers, and the meatballs had apple and a little bit of chilli.
(what meat, though?)
So he’s off on one again.
A pork ready meal of meatballs, with pasta.
Brenda gets cooking …
Later on, as they’re chatting about Tom getting an email from a buyer he’s been chasing:
[Brenda] “The one you’ve been relentlessly badgering?”
[Tom] “The one I’ve been gently nurturing!”
(well it doesn’t seem to be working, whichever way you look at it. The chap emailed to thank him for his call, but that he wasn’t interested … don’t call us, we’ll call you)
And that Tom will also need more sausages for the Farmhouse Week promotion at The Bull and also now at Jaxx.
Tom seems to get a bit overexcited.
He thinks the meatballs are better than the goulash (shock) AND the chilli (no, never!).
[Tom] “This is just what the ready meals market has been waiting for!”
Has it really?
Ach well.
I suppose I can grudgingly admire him for his enthusiasm.
A use for uncle Gary!
Gary is driving Tracey’s kids to and from school. On time, and without prompting.
Which gives Tracey time to look for a job. And her kids think Gary is a better driver than Tracey … or at least he doesn’t swear as much:
[Tracey] “It’s not like I swear at the dad kids, cause I don’t …”
She just swears at other drivers while her kids are in the car.
Classy.
It’s lucky that Gary has found something useful to do, as there aren’t any places at Lower Barrett at the moment.
[Bert] “Well. it’s nice to think of Gary being a bit of use”
George Barford and Walter Gabriel
Seems George had made the Casa Nueva wooden sign for Will (and Emma).
And Clarrie was remembering what she and Eddie were given when they got married.
Including wooden willows from Walter Gabriel. Who Nic hadn’t heard of.
[Will] “He was a proper old Borchestershire bloke”
Neil got them a recipe book (for her) and a cowboy book called Bad Men and Badlands (for him).
Nic thinks books were a strange wedding present:
[Clarrie] “None of us had much money in them days, and lists at Underwoods were not for the like of us!”
Emma don’t want no crockery
Will thinks Emma told Nic that she (Emma) had chosen Casa Nueva.
Typical Emma. Can’t stand not being thought of every time someone walked into that house.
Nic asking for their cottage’s name to be changed has made him realise how much else of Emma is still left in that house. None of which he needs now that he and Nic have wedding presents to replace them.
He has fairly decent crockery that he and Emma had been given for their wedding, albeit now a few pieces are missing. So, he thought Emma might like them.
[Will] “I don’t know if I caught her at a bad moment or not, but she gave me a right earful. ‘What makes me think she’s got room for my casts offs, there some things she doesn’t want reminding of, thank you very much’ … ”
Will was thinking of taking them to a charity shop, but Clarrie stops him to say he should give them to Eddie to sell at a car boot sale.
Just imagine the fallout if any of it turns out to be properly valuable …
Tracey makes Bert sign
Tracey is definitely more Clive than Susan …
She’s written up the housing association letter (to make her a joint tenant with her dad):
[Tracey] “I do know how to type dad. And there’s no need to bother Susan with this”
And without further ceremony, she gets Bert to sign it there and then.
Happy wee Grundy people
[Jake] “My mum is called Mrs Grundy now, so we’re going to be called Grundy too”
Seems Jake and Mia decided they want to be Grundy’s all on their own.
[Mia] “Look Clarrie, I wrote it on my school book”
Clarrie is almost in tears.
Mia and Jake Grundy.
Clarrie asks them if they want to call her grandma, like George does.
Which they do.
That sets Clarrie off weeping proper!
Sweet.
I’m really enjoying this wee bit of happiness in Ambridge. Especially as it’s calmed down Will ever so.
Clarrie’s a bludger
I’m only teasing.
Quite right that she’s claiming benefit.
And she’s finally received her first payment. Which she’s used part of to buy Nic and Will some welcome home chocolates.
[Clarrie] “it’s lovely to have a little bit of money of me own”
Tom’s on about kids again …
*sigh*
Jazzer’s been harassing him about being so hung-over. He reckons Tom’s too old for partying into the wee hours.
[Tom] “I can’t take the pace anymore, time to settle down …”
[Brenda] “You’re not allowed to talk like that until; you’re 40!”
[Tom] “Ah, when we have kids …”
[Brenda] “I intend to grow old Disgracefully, like Lilian”
Goon on ya Brenda.
Keep him off the topic of procreation.
Though, sorry, but you’ll never be a Lilian …
- Clarrie doesn’t want to have to go
- A ventouse is a kind of suction thing you put on a baby’s head
- Amy and Alice tattie picking
- Joe’s cider
- Glamorous Clarrie?
- Alice and Amy get vertical
- Harvest supper venue problems, again
- Jim’s sense of fun
- Mike wants green burial, Alistair wants Josh
- A thought for those departed
- Did Jim have a point to make?
- It’s also David’s birthday
Clarrie doesn’t want to have to go
She’s doing the food (Christine’s puddings are in the van, and the pork just need sliced), but even seeing a very helpful David doesn’t make Clarrie any more keen to go to Joe’s party.
[David] “Ninety years old, eh, that’s a bit special … Oh Clarrie, um, just wanted to say, well, it’s great to see you back. After your trip”
Eddie tries to bluster that Clarrie was just away for Rosie’s birthday, but I think Eddie’s attempts to cover up Clarrie going on a wander is backfiring.
[Clarrie] “Well that were nice of him. Don’t know what he were thinking … I wish I didn’t have to face everyone so soon”
But of course, Clarrie being Clarrie turns out for Joe’s birthday at the Cider Club.
A ventouse us a kind of suction thing you put on a baby’s head
So says Amy.
Amy and Alice tattie picking
Alice has persuaded Amy to help do tattie picking at Bridge Farm.
[Alice] “Their business is heading for the buffers, seemingly”
Which makes Alice feel that her and Chris’ economy drive is rather small fry in comparison.
Joe’s cider
[David] “Not a bad drop of stuff that, Joe”
[Joe] “Well take a proper swig then … finest tonic known to man, this is”
Seems Joe is starting on the 2011 vintage soon. And he has permission from Oliver to take the fallen apples off of his land.
[Joe] “Oliver Sterling … a great supporter of local enterprise”
Jim’s sense of fun
[Jim] “I don’t see much going on at this table”
[Joe] “That’s cause we’re enjoying ourselves”
[Jim] “Well, that can stop right now!”
Jim’s determined to stick to his and Bert’s plan of ye oldie fashioned games. So, Joe’s tables has to crack on with dominoes or cribbage.
Jim has even drawn up a fixture list. And:
[Jim] “A series of conversion factors allowing comparison of the point’s total of the various games, I think it’s pretty self-explanatory”
Right barrel of laughs, is our Jim.
Glamorous Clarrie?
[Jim] “Well we’re delighted to see you Clarrie. It’s what the cider club’s needed for a long time. A bit of glamour”
What is Clarrie wearing to Joe’s party???
Alice and Amy get vertical
Oo-er missus!
[Alice] “Hang on a bit. Cam we try being vertical for a couple of minutes? … Ooh. Doesn’t half get your back when you’re not used to it “
Blimey!
Harvest supper venue problems, again
Amy was asking Alice for an empty barn that her dad could use for the harvest supper.
As Amy herself said, Alan always seems to get let down last minute.
Didn’t they hold it in The Bull last year?
What’s wrong with going there again?
Mike wants green burial, Alistair wants Josh
(it’s almost as if Frankie Howard was alive and well)
David reckons Mike’s interested in managing the green burial site.
And Alistair wants Josh for the cricket team.
A thought for those departed
[Joe] “Shame some of the old uns aren’t here to see it …Tom Forrest, Walter Gabriel, used to like a game of cribbage”
And as David reminded him, Dan Archer was also quite partial to a game of cribbage.
Did Jim have a point to make?
Jim seemed to be trying to say to Clarrie that it’s not her fault about the E. coli.
But, in a very cack handed way.
He complemented her on her egg and ham pie.
The started waffling about how everything it made in far too hygienic conditions these days, afy6er he’d noticed that Clarrie was drinking wine rather than Joe’s cider.
[Clarrie] “I wouldn’t touch that, I’ve seen how he makes it”
[Jim] “Which is precisely why it’s so beneficial in my opinion, it challenges the immune system which makes us all the stronger”
Seems Jim was trying to somehow say that Clarrie had done folks a favour by giving them E. coli.
Hmmm. Taking that a bit too far, Jim, methinks.
It’s also David’s birthday
Not that you’d have noticed amongst all the glory of Jim’s 90th.
But then again, suppose it would be very tasteful for David to have a big celebration, considering Nigel …
- Harris Hawks are co-operative
- “What this, a bonk buster?”
- Ed is such a gent
- “Jo’burg isn’t like Ambridge”
- Oliver laughed like Walter Gabriel
- Ed’s being watched over?
- David has a nice bit of hay
- “a collective outburst of soppiness”
Harris Hawks are co-operative
I also “didn’t necessarily” know that, so Roy was quite right to mention it on the Falconry bit of the Lower Loxley website.
And seemingly Eleanor came out best in the photographs.
AND Jessica breeds all her own Falcons herself. So none are ‘taken’ from the wild for the great unwashed’s entertainment.
Well done Eleanor. And well done Jessica.
“What this, a bonk buster?”
Emma still has Susan’s copy of Mistress of the Paddocks, when Ed spots it.
Seemingly Emma can’t get even get passed page one.
She reckons it’s because she hasn’t got time.
I just don’t reckon Emma is the book type, regardless of the subject matter.
Ed is such a gent
He and Emma were just settling down for a bit of a sit, when Oliver turns up.
The last thing they wanted was a visitor, but Ed was a good enough chap to not mention that to Oliver, instead made him feel completely welcome.
Good boy, is our Ed.
Sometimes.
As long as it doesn’t involve his brother’s wife …
“Jo’burg isn’t like Ambridge”
Phoebe tells Roy what’s what over a cappuccino.
Roy is trying to persuade her just to go to South Africa for the summer. And how much everyone will miss her if she goes for a whole year. And how Abbie will forget her if she does go for the year. And her mates.
Fairly hefty emotional blackmail, if you ask me.
What does Phoebe reckon?
[Phoebe] “It was really hard saying goodbye … they’re my family too, you know … Lucas’ family really rate me, you know … you could all come over and see me for Christmas!”
But Roy pleads poverty.
[Phoebe] “I want an adventure, right, and all you’re doing is slapping me down !”
[Roy] “I can’t promise … it’s Hayley. She just loves you so, so much, Phoebe, she’d worry every day if you’re away for so long.”
(naughty Roy, blaming Phoebe)
[Phoebe] “I love you both dada and that’s never going to change… you’re my mum and dad … but I’ve got two families … I need to spend time with my real mum now… I want to get to know everything about her. Surely you can see that?”
Well, I think phoebe has a point. She does need to spend time with Kate if that what she feels she needs to do. If only to discover exactly what Kate is like …
… which is why Hayley is so determined that Phoebe shouldn’t find that out while she’s so far away from her and Roy.
Would seem Roy is weakening, though.
Oliver laughed like Walter Gabriel
And woke up Keira.
Quite bizarre.
Ed’s being watched over?
Ed thinks Oliver is keeping an eye on him – that he doesn’t trust him to run the herd properly.
[Emma] “That’s what retired people do, holding you up when you trying to work. Joe’s always doing it”
Eh Emma? What work would you be doing, then?
(I know – she does plenty. But boy, does she make sure we all know about it)
Anyhoo, Ed doesn’t need to be worried.
Oliver is just bored.
As he later mentions to David, he has little desire to return to work:
[Oliver] “If I’m honest, the worrying was the reason I gave up the herd”
David has a nice bit of hay
According to Oliver.
[David] “ …(I have) a sneaking nostalgia for hay making, I must confess”
He sounds a bit happier in his work. Even though it’s 6 months since Nigel died …
“a collective outburst of soppiness”
Has occurred at Brookfield, according to David.
And it’s all Tigg’s fault.
Ah well. Anything to lighten the mood.
The Archers: Jolene forgets the cream and the beer tent … The Strange Affair at Ambridge Towers takes shape … Alan advises Fallon
- Freda’s got trifles to make this afternoon
- Inspirational headstones
- Poisoning by veal and ham pie
- Jim’s in a ponderous mood
- Who did Jim meet on his cruise?
- Both Kathy and Kenton should get advice from Alan
Freda’s got trifles to make this afternoon
And she can’t be doing that without cream.
Jolene’s taken a complete break from reality, which leaves Fallon with a lot to cope with.
Fingers still crossed that the will reading doesn’t have something in it which pushes Jolene completely over the edge …
Inspirational headstones
You have to hand it to Lynda – she certainly doesn’t do anything half hearted.
So The Strange Affair at Ambridge Towers is going to include many names which are familiar to us all, simply because Lynda took her inspiration from the churchyard’s headstones (which Beatrix Potter also used to do, apparently).
Tom Gabriel – which I reckon is Tom Forrest and Walter Gabriel
Raith Fairbrother – stumped on Raith (anyone?), and I think that the only Fairbrother to be buried in St. Stephen’s was Grace (so maybe her gravestone has a ‘nee’ on it?)
Also no idea about who ‘the wife Lette’ could be,
Although ‘mother Doris Perkins’ has to be Doris Archer, with Mrs P (Polly Perkins).
I though Jill might have been a bit miffed to be asked to play that part …
Poisoning by veal and ham pie
Tom’s either trying to wind Vicky up, or he’s just a bit dim. That’d be a 50:50 split for me.
Why on earth did he send Vicky his questionnaires about veal and ham pie?
He may care tuppence about what she thinks, but what goes around comes around. Especially when you’re winding up your finance’s step-mum.
Vicky’s going to harangue Mike, who’ll join in with her to hassle Brenda, who ultimately have to try and stop Tom if she wants any peace.
Is the profit that Tom will makes out of these pies really worth all the domestic strife?
Jim’s in a ponderous mood
“Young love … one of the consolations of growing old is one will never have to experience it again.”
“It is not so much our friends help that helps us, as the confident knowledge that they will help us”
Who did Jim meet on his cruise?
And there was me thinking that The Strange Affair at Ambridge Towers was usurping the yearly search for a celebrity to open the village fete.
Just who could Jim have met? Will it be a biggie? Or will it be someone who only Jim thinks is of celebrity stature?
Both Kathy and Kenton should get advice from Alan
He’s a vicar and a darn good sage.
His advice to Fallon was ultimately to
“let things run their course”
But that she’s been doing everything right in trying to support Jolene.
“gentle loving support”
“ be there when she needs you”
“let her talk when she wants to”
“let her cry”
“ don’t hurry her”
Sound advice. If only Kenton could do that for Kathy – Kathy for Kenton – Kathy and Kenton for Jamie …
