Joe bumps his head – Thurs 19.09.13 #thearchers

Pondering The Archers Thursday 19th September 2013

• Darrell’s just fine (actually)
• We missed both David and Joe’s birthday yesterday
• Joe would have won the best moustache competition
• Ben’s enjoying Big School
• Josh is suddenly a hunk
• The two amigos
• The Christmas turkeys!
• Joe wants Nic at home
• Joe says no to a jar
• It was folks like Eddie and Joe Lynda didn’t want ...
• Joe leaves in an ambulance

Matt makes a promise: Fri 30.11.12 #thearchers

The Archers Friday 30th November 2012

• Mike’s concerned for Mike
• Matt wants to talk
• The Grundys plan to sell their turkeys
• Eddie defends Ed

Mike’s concerned for Mike

Mike’s heard about Ed’s financial problems.

Mike tells him he’ll do everything to help. But Ed does slightly blame milk for the cut in the prices he’s getting for his milk. Mike squarely blames his customers and supermarkets.

[Mike] “We’ll come through it, I'm sure, but I do need to know your business is sound.”

[Ed] “It is sound.”

Harsh of Mike – but he has got a baby on the way.


Matt wants to talk

So he suggests he and Lilian go to the new place at Websterbridge.

[Lilian] “I don’t think so Matt.”

[Matt] “I’m aware things aren’t; right. We need to have a proper talk. To see if we can clear the air a bit.”

[Lilian] “I don’t see the point.”

[Matt] “The point is you're not happy … and that really troubles me … we used to be such a  great team, if the wheels are coming off I want to fix them.”

[Lilian] “Maybe they can’t be fixed.”

[Matt] “Oh don’t say that puss … all those plans, we can’t just let them go.”

He manages to persuade Lilian to go to lunch.

Matt then tries to persuade Lilian that though while he realises he can be “impetuous” (ha!), he wants to make everything better. He promises he’ll change, slow down and take the time to explain.

[Lilian] “Where so I fit in to this grand vision of yours?”

[Matt] “You're in the centre of it, always have been.”

[Lilian] “It doesn’t always feel like that.”

But Matt won’t be deterred. With his “go-get” and Lilian’s “sensitivity”, they can make a real difference. He didn’t quite clarify whether that difference was to them, or to others.

And let us not forget that all of this is using Lilian’s, not Matt’s, money.

[Lilian] “Matt, I’ve heard all this before. Done this, got the t-shirt.”

[Matt] “I told you puss, I’m twice the man when I’m working with you.”

[Lilian] “I’d like to believe that, I really would … but I don’t know if I can trust you anymore.”

[Matt] “Well, you can. I promise you. You can.”

Aye, we’re all heard that before.

And I doubt Lilian will fall for it.

She’s got Paul now.


The Grundys plan to sell their turkeys

Lynda was right.

The Grundys have spotted that the Community orchard event could be the perfect place to sell their turkeys.

They ask Mike if he’ll tell folks as they come in, but Mike says he can’t be selling stuff.

[Joe] “Ain't commercial, it’s a public service, our turkeys.”

Eddie defends Ed

Joe’s entirely in favour of Ed and Emma moving out of Rickyard.

[Joe] “Good thing too, paying out all that rent to the Archers.”

Joe then gets very grumpy when Mike suggests that Ed’s business isn’t doing well.

[Eddie] “You've got nothing to worry about, so if you hear anyone saying anything different, you can put them right, can’t you.”

Joe and Eddie then go round to cheer up Ed.

[Eddie] “To make sure you’re okay, and to say, well, we’ve very proud of you … I know you didn’t want to move … and I still want to tell you, you're doing a great job.”

As far as Eddie sees it, at least Ed is trying.

And Eddie should know. He grew up on Grange Farm. He lost Grange Farm.

[Eddie] “And I’d know if something was going wrong. And it isn’t … this farm is in as good as a shape as I ever seen it. And that’s up to you  … I was stupid and lazy, that’s why we lost it. I don’t see it in you, you’re working hard, and you’re committed to the farm and your family. And that’s why we’re proud of you Eddie.”

Mike’s depressed: Mon 03.09.12

The Archers Monday 3rd September 2012

• [Joe] “Curries don’t come natural to you, Clarrie”
• It’s Grundy Turkey time!
• The men get baking bread
• Comedians aren’t what they used to be
• Grundys don’t cry
• Lily’s not amused with Freddie
• Roy tries to get Mike to talk

[Joe] “Curries don’t come natural to you, Clarrie” 

Seems Clarrie feels she was out of her comfort zone making curries out of the wild boar meat. Joe reckons everyone who ate it was out of their comfort zone as well …

So the Grundys are still trying to eat their way through that boar. Seems it’s not going well.

[Joe] “Even Edward and Emma won’t touch no more. You’d think free food'd be a godsend on their money.”

Some sort of Christmas scam ahoy?


It’s Grundy Turkey time!

Must mean Christmas is on the way … *groan*.

Though Joe may make a few pennies from the turkeys, he doesn’t seem to respect their intellectual abilities.

[Joe] “Surprises me Turkey's ever found their way onto the ark.”

The men get baking bread

Seems Bert and Derek are going to have a go for the Flower and Produce Show, though everyone thinks Bert’s will be made by Freda.

That’s cheeky.

I’m sure Bert will play fair and square. As always .


Comedians aren’t what they used to be

Joe’s not impressed with Tug Fowler’s forthcoming appearance at The Bull.

[Joe] “He won’t be no good. Not like the comics we used to get in Borchester before telly spoiled everything.”

Blimey.

Joe’s a right barrel of laughs today.


Grundys don’t cry

So reckons Eddie.

He’s meant to be looking after George while he and Eddie have a natter.

George falls down. But gets up again.

[Eddie] “Not a whimper out of him. A proper little Grundy.”

Lily’s not amused with Freddie

Since Freddie broke his collar bone falling off of Topper, he’s been driving Lily to distraction.

[Lily] “Freddie thinks he’s a pharaoh giving everyone orders”

[Freddie] “I’d tell them to bury you alive.”

[Lily] “White and dark chocolate, just for a normal tea!”

In Lily’s humble opinion, Freddie’s only hurt because Freddie is an “idiot”.

[Lily] “ … he’ll come creeping to me to do his maths homework. And science … I’m just sick of everyone pretending he’s a hero. He nearly did something horrible to us … we’ve had too many accidents already. I can’t stand anymore … Freddie should grow up, he shouldn’t have been on Topper.”

Elizabeth tells Lily that it was her (Elizabeth’s) fault. Which is more than she said to Shula.

[Elizabeth] “That’s life. Sometimes accidents just happen.”

Really?

Not Freddie’s fault for riding Topper? Or, more importantly, Elizabeth’s for letting him?

Funny Elizabeth doesn’t seem to have heard anything Shula said to her.


Roy tries to get Mike to talk

Roy corners Mike in the dairy. He’s seen the signs before – Mike not talking to anyone, doing anything other than work. He thinks Mike is heading for another depression.

[Mike] “I am depressed. But it ain't the wheels coming off. I’ve got every reason.”

Mike tells Roy about his and Vicky’s baby being diagnosed with Down’s Syndrome.

[Mike] “They say it’s probably a woman’s age, but what if … what if it’s me Roy. I’m a good bit older … I’ve seen it in a herd. There’s a right time for it. Then it’s too late …”

Mike tells Roy he wants to talk to Vicky, but Vicky won’t be open to discussing anything other than them having them having the baby. Mike needs to talk through the options.

So – Mike needs to talk, Vicky needs to talk but neither of them can do so until the other accepts what the other needs.

tricky.

Mike also asks Roy to tell Brenda.

Here’s hoping the family can help bring Mike and Vicky back together.

The Archers Mon 13th Dec 2010: The great turkey massacre

• Emma’s getting back to old form
• Nic’s a wee star
• Do turkeys know what’s coming?
• Birthing plans
• Wishful thinking, Pat
• What’s bad for a turkey is good for Clarrie
• Bets on Vicky or Susan

Emma’s getting back to old form

As Will, Nic and Ed get stuck into the turkeys (Joe and Eddie were around, but we didn’t actually hear them working), Emma is worse than useless.

First she dumps George on Clarrie. He’s got a sore throat, but instead of finding a babysitter, Emma ignores Clarrie’s broken wrist, and need to rest.

(Is any Grundy actually taking Clarrie’s broken wrist seriously? Give the woman a break!)

So Emma dumps George.

Is late with the coffee for those actually working hard.

Refuses to help sweep up the feathers:

[Emma] “Me!?! No! Bloomin things, they get everywhere. I’ll be itching all day!”

Has a half-hearted go at catching the turkeys, which lasted all of a few seconds:

[Emma] “I don’t wanna do it!”

Will was quite right to slate her at the end of the day.

[Will] “For all the help Emma was, she might as well stayed at home”

Emma was back to form as a spoilt, petulant brat.

And though she is pregnant, if Helen can work when she’s actually ahead of Emma in pregnancy terms, maybe Clarrie shouldn’t give Emma that excuse …


Nic’s a wee star

In complete contrast to Emma, there’s nothing Nic won’t do to help out.

After managing to get Will to help out even though Emma and Ed would be there, Nic cracks on with the work without complaint – actually, she does it with a whistle to her step.

She ignores her own snuffles as she plucks the turkeys.

Has a go at catching the turkeys:

[Nic] “It can’t be that hard – they’re so big and stupid”

Infact, Nic gets a bit zealous when catching those turkeys. When she did catch one, she sounded like a super hyper Spanish football commentator.

Bless Nic for her enthusiasm and determination. She’s a cracker.


Do turkeys know what’s coming?

[Ed] “I dunno, I didn’t think to ask”

Well, if turkeys knew what Christmas time meant, none of us would have a chance of eating one. They’d surely be off (along with pigs, cows, pheasants, chickens ….)


Birthing plans

At our next riveting instalment of Helen’s ante-natal class, this week it is birthing plans.

Taking Pat with her for the first time (actually, it’s the first time anyone has been allowed to accompany Helen), Helen seems to have completely opened her mind to being reasonable and realistic about having her baby.

Still quite keen to use the birthing pool, she’s now also:

[Helen] “quite happy to use a high to use a high tech option. All I want is to get this baby out safely”

What a chance of heart.

My word. Is this all actually going to go well for Helen?


Wishful thinking, Pat

Pat’s claiming to Helen that Tony would be “happy to help” Helen get her nursery finished (when Ian has to go back to work).

Really?

I think Helen has the true measure of Tony’s attitude to her pregnancy:

[Helen] “Mum … I mean come on … you know how he feels about this baby, he wants nothing to do with it, he never even mentions it … he seems to be doing his best to pretend it’s not happening at all”

What’s bad for a turkey is good for Clarrie

[Clarrie] “All done – killed and plucked and hanging in the container”

Clarrie’s so chuffed that it’s been done, that she even cracks open the sherry with Pat.

At last. Clarrie gets to put her feet up while everyone else does the work.

Well, nearly. If it hadn’t been for Emma and George …


Bets on Vicky or Susan

Clarrie doesn’t seem convinced about Vicky’s ability to pick up her job at Bridge Farm

[Clarrie] “Vicky will have to learn very fast if she’s to be any use to you”

Clarrie then also wondered out loud whether Vicky would be able to pick it up faster than Susan.

Oo-er.

I’ll have a fiver on Vicky …