The Archers: Will and Ed on a night out together … Eddie’s being sneaky
- Nic and Will are looking dapper
- Eddie wants the coast to be clear
- All because Pip didn’t check the size of TCB
- Didn’t Nic want a nice night out?
- It was Jade, actually
- First rule of pregnancy
- I was wrong about Matthew
- Now Eddie’s cutting toenails!
Nic and Will are looking dapper
According to Eddie and Clarrie.
Nice has the “perfect” dress on, and Will has a new red bow tie.
[Will] “Well, you can’t be too stuffy”
Of course, Eddie can’t help winding up Will
[Eddie] “What about you William? Playing the maracas – are you part of the band?”
Clarrie, as usual, is all too aware of what her boys could get up to, and tries to advise Will:
[Clarrie] “It doesn’t matter who else is there Will, you just relax and enjoy”
“If they keep themselves to themselves, they’ll be alright”
Eddie wants the coast to be clear
Joe’s just mucked out Bartleby, is in the bath, then is off out to The Bull to play cribbage with Bert.
Clarrie’s tackling a mountain of ironing:
[Ed] “Are you doing that whole basket of ironing now?”
[Clarrie] “No, the queen of the fairies is taking over in 5 minutes … what do you think?”
(I can’t do Clarrie any justice on the above quote – it has to be listened to in order to understand it as a proper *snort* moment)
Eddie then tries to persuade Clarrie that she should take a dish back to Kathy, right now, because he “doesn’t want getting a name as bad neighbours”
which, quite unbelievably, seemed to work. Off our Clarrie pops …
… until she pops right back in again, catching Eddie in the act of going through Joe’s pockets.
[Clarrie] “Give me that!”
[Eddie] “It’s nothing”
[Clarrie] “I’ll be the judge”
(when she realises it’s to do with the Race Evening)
[Clarrie] How can you stoop so low … taking advantage of the British Legion”
[Eddie] “It isn’t what you’re thinking at all”
Oh dear. Two minutes into his and Jazzer’s cunning plan to get one up on Nathan Booth, Eddie’s already mucked it up.
What a surprise!
All because Pip didn’t check the size of TCB
TCB is the band playing at the YFC Ball
(TCB seemingly stands for Taking Care of Business (Elvis Presley) and the Tommy Crocker Band – as the saxophone player is the grandson of Tommy Crocker, who used to play at Grey Gables and was one of Jack’s favourite bands … so I’m told).
But Pip didn’t check how many were in the band, so now her table plan is completely defunct.
It sounds like she was able to find a spot for everyone (I bloomin’ well hope so – it would be great value as a dinner dance if you couldn’t actually sit down for dinner).
And Emma reckons:
“It just makes it cosier being bunched up”
But Emma didn’t think that through.
It all depends on who you’re actually having to bunch up with.
Didn’t Nic want a nice night out?
While I applaud Nic’s efforts to try and get Ed and Will back to acting at least half-decent around each other, why do so on one of her very rare nights away from the kids and work?
As her and Will arrive, she decides that the best plan would be to plonk themselves down on the same table as Ed and Emma.
Even stranger still that the other three went along with Nic’s brilliant plan (albeit grudgingly). Surely one of them could have said ‘no’?
[Nic] “Won’t do the boys any harm, trying to be civilised with each other for once”
As the foursome settle down to their evening, Will gets in a round.
And manages not to shout at or punch Ed.
They all take to the dance floor, and still no shouting or punching.
Even Will and Emma have quite a civilised chat:
[Emma] “Will, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you myself (about the baby)”
[Will] “It’s okay … it doesn’t matter … George left his gloves on Tuesday”
Well that’s progress, even if Will had to quickly change the subject.
Things seem to start going downhill as the evening progresses, but there’s still no shouting or punching.
Just a sarcastic quip from Will as Ed retells Pip’s tale about Tommy Crocker.
As Emma and Nic bond over swollen ankles (not literally – Emma has them, Nic has the memory of them), Ed and Will start to argue over who should be buying the next round.
But just when it looks like the bloodshed is about to commence, Nic steps in to say that it’s her and Emma’s round (even though she has to take a sub off of Will to buy it).
So the evening went off without a bang (just like The Bull’s bonfire night – well, there was bangs, but the overall impression of the evening was a bit of a ‘pfffff’).
But does this mean that Ed and Will will start being nice chaps to each other?
Will there be more double dating?
Cripes. It might be the calmest Christmas day in the Grundy for many a year.
It was Jade, actually
Oo-er Pip!
That was a bit snooty.
So Ed doesn’t know the difference between green and jade.
You should take the compliments where you can get them. Especially as it doesn’t like there’s much fruitiness afoot with Lucan.
I was wrong about Matthew
Izzy seemingly didn’t look happy with Matthew from the start.
And Pip later reports that Izzy has:
“Given up on Matthew … he grows an extra pair of hands with every drink”
Oh well. I wonder if Izzy still had “boring” Gary to fall back on.
First rule of pregnancy
Is to find out where the rules are.
Wonder if Helen is aware of that one amongst her lentils, exercise and calorie counting.
Now Eddie’s cutting toenails!
But it wasn’t as gross as Clarrie cutting Joe’s.
Eddie was tending to one of his ferrets (Brooklyn)
[Clarrie] “You spend more time grooming your ferrets than yourself”
As Brooklyn tries to muck about with Clarrie’s washing, I was left wondering is a ferret really does make those sort of noises …
The Archers: Pip is in full flow ... Izzy wants a hunk ... Josh is quiet ... Jamie’s drunk ... David has to sort it
- Pip’s really good with a tractor
- “Looks like the Grundy’s garden”
- “Jazzer ... the space invader”
- Should’ve worried about Jamie, not Josh
- Izzy really needs to ditch Pip
- Hunky Matthew
- Jamie’s such a wee toerag!
- “One slightly worse for wear teenager”
- David’s fed up
- Poor Freddie
Pip’s really good with a tractor
Good show Pip. Jolly good show.
I’m still not sure where all this interest in Pip’s driving lessons is heading to ...
“Looks like the Grundy’s garden”
When Ruth said that about the part of Brookfield they’re using to keep the machinery that’s normally in the barn, I could only think of poor Clarrie.
The woman can’t even have a nice garden.
Aw.
“Jazzer ... the space invader”
Gosh. Aren’t Brenda and Tom the most ripping of friends!
I wish I could have mates like that.
Ones that grudgingly let me sleep in their spare room when I’m homeless, then slag me off behind my back.
What gems!
Should’ve worried about Jamie, not Josh
I can only assume Pip was worried about her wee brother embarrassing her than really causing any trouble.
Josh behaved impeccably. He stayed up in his room, even finishing his homework (on a Friday night. That is devotion).
Izzy really needs to ditch Pip
Just as Jazzer could do far better in the mates stakes than Brenda and Tom, Izzy could also do far better than Pip.
Pip was rotten to Izzy when Jude was around (oh deary - just writing his name makes me feel a bit ill!). Remember when Pip was making it plain how much working in the same place as Izzy would be beneath her?!?
This time, Pip’s calling her fat!
[Izzy] “I would kill for one of these inflatable sofas”
[Pip] “Don’t burst it!”
[Izzy] “I’m not that heavy!!!”
It sounds like Izzy’s boyfriend Gary also isn’t up to par.
I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt, but how on earth could anyone think a Young Farmers barn dance would be posh?
Though Izzy isn’t letting her Gary hold her back. She’s out to spot talent, which brings me neatly onto:
Hunky Matthew
He sounded a bit of alright.
Well. from Izzy and Pip’s point of view.
Pip is thankfully:
“strictly off men for the foreseeable”
(I really couldn’t cope with another round of Pip and a bloke. My life has been far less fraught since she rediscovered the joys of tractors!).
Matthew’s a rugby player. Seemingly a bit of a looker. And his folks own Atherton Estate.
Marriage material indeed. Especially considering he handled the Jamie situation without immediately punching him ...
In saying that, what was Matthew on about when he asked Izzy:
“do you get to take stuff home from this supermarket of yours?”
As Izzy pointed out, she only works there - she doesn’t own it.
But maybe Matthews parent’s estate is a mighty big one, and he’s used to mixing with the organ grinders rather than the monkeys.
Jamie’s such a wee toerag!
Jamie and his mate (Marty?) were showing their age tonight.
I’m really surprised the bar staff didn’t spot them right away (professionals or not!). Teenage girls can look far older than they are, but don’t most teenage lads look just like teenage lads?
Having sneaked into Pip’s barn dance, they reckon it:
“feels so weird not drinking cider from a bottle”
Classy!
After a few pints, they’re both get a bit lary.
Pushing past Izzy, and jumping the queue at the bar, Jamie makes Izzy spill her drink on her top which:
[Izzy] “cost me nearly 30 quid!”
[Jamie] “why did you bother?”
As Matthew has a word with Jamie to get him to apologise and spot being an arse:
[Jamie] “Get lost dumbo!”
[Jamie] “don’t boss me around, alright ... freak!
[Matthew] “you’ve had plenty, bonehead”
[Matthew] “there are lots of guys here - big guys - we don’t want any trouble”
[Jamie] “Just shut up! You’re not my dad! YOU’RE NOT MY DAD!”
(oh my. We all know that’s Jamie’s problem, but what a blatant ‘cry for help’. I’d feel sorry for him, but he makes caring about him nigh impossible)
Izzy gets Pip before Matthew and his mates lose their temper with Jamie and his mate.
After realising that Jamie and his mate are drunk, Pip then heads off to get her dad.
Which is a real shame on David and Ruth. They were just about to get a nice cup of tea, after switching off a property programme that they’d already seen.
“One slightly worse for wear teenager”
We didn’t get to eavesdrop in on David tackling Jamie and his mate at the barn dance, which is a shame.
But, we do get the joys of Kathy sighing in frustration as David returns an inebriated Jamie to her.
Jamie does show some sense in staggering off to bed before Kathy can wind herself into a shouty frenzy (saving us all!).
And David seemed to downplay Jamie’s behaviour. Rude and aggressive turned into:
“sounding off ... getting a bit excited”
Which was odd. Considering he later on had far more to say about it than he actually said to Kathy.
But, as we don’t get to eavesdrop at all on a Saturday, all might be peaceful and well come Sunday.
(I know. We probably won’t get off that lightly, but there’s always hope).
David’s fed up
Fed up with teenagers. Fed up that he had to take Jamie home (and call his other mate’s parents). Fed up that Pip’s efforts were so rudely trampled upon.
I think it’s really lovely that David, and Ruth, care so much for their daughter’s happiness.
“Poor pip didn’t deserve to have her evening ruined””
“Poor thing is devastated ... she’s worried she might have to step down”
David thought the scene that greeted him when he went into the barn was:
“Like something out of the wild west ... the boys threatening to drive him out of town”
And both him and Ruth thought Jamie was simply stupid for picking a fight with “someone like Matthew”.
“He’s changing so much, and not for the better”
*sigh* How many more Ambridge residents will say the exact same thing about Jamie before someone is able to snap him out of it?
Or, is this just going to be Jamie forever more?
*banging head off the table*
Poor Freddie
As mentioned before, it would seem Freddie isn’t a very clever young boy.
Poor toots. Lily “seems to be thriving”, a comparison which I'm sure the wee man doesn't need.
