- Susan’s front page news
- Lynda’s still going on, and on, and on …
- Ian Craig to do THE wedding?
- Brian’s off to Paris
- Kenton’s being a twerp
- Eddie’s a Bonnie Tyler fan
- Ruined packet of crisps
- Poor Jolene
Susan’s front page news
Susan is on the front page of The Echo – as she was near Camilla when the picture was taken.
Seemingly Clarrie isn’t happy about it. She can’t be seen.
To be exact, she can’t be seen because Susan is waving her Union Jack flag over Clarrie’s face.
Ah Clarrie. Will your light ever be let out from that bushel?
Lynda’s still going on, and on, and on …
Now Lynda reckons that Camilla gave a hoot that her bicycle chain had come off, while she was alone, in the dark, on a country lane. She’s seemingly not saying:
[Jennifer] “How affected by her plight (Camilla) was”
[Jolene] “I’m not so sure about that Jennifer. She just gave her a wave”
Quite right Jolene.
In fact, Camilla saw that Lynda was in distress, and just drove on.
Hardly the beginnings of a deep and meaningful relationship.
Ian Craig to do THE wedding?
(and I will admit that I had to go and do a bit of research to get the notion out of my mind that they were talking about Andrew and Fergie … my how time has marched on without me noticing)
Probably not. I’d have thought they’d chose their chef based on more than just some decent shortbread.
However, I wouldn’t put it by Camilla to soon launch a new range of Duchy …
Brian’s off to Paris
With Matt and Lilian.
That wasn’t Brian’s plan. It did sound like he was up to something, after all the effort he want to in persuading Jennifer that it’d be pointless her tagging alone.
My money was on him asking Ruth to accompany him but, let’s face it, I don’t think Brian would actually have been that fussy.
Anyhoo – he’s got no chance to dally with Lilian and Matt also on the trip. In fact, he can’t even relax in his room without Lilian stalking him (though to be fair, he did say he’d be down to dinner).
[Brian] “How to matt and Lilian manage to stick their beaks into everything?”
Just to keep annoying you, Brian …
Kenton’s being a twerp
After his chat with Kirsty yesterday, Kenton seems to have decided that the best way for him to deal with Jolene is to avoid and ignore.
He refuses a coffee.
Then cancels their night out at a gig, by telephone, during which he hung up very abruptly, before Jolene could say goodbye.
That’s simply spot on Kenton. Good job indeed. You have feelings for Jolene, you think that’s wrong, so – of course – the best thing to do is to be an arse to Jolene, and make her feel like crap.
That’s just what she needs – and is certainly what Matt wants …
Nice one Kenton. You’re a true friend indeed (!)
Eddie’s a Bonnie Tyler fan
Who’d have thunk it?
Nic’s decided that she and Will need to sort something out for Eddie’s impending 60th birthday, rather than assuming Clarrie will sort it.
[Nic] “Why does it always have to be up to her. Why can’t we do something … be nice if we could do the organising for a change”
Will agrees with Nic, and later comes up with the idea that Eddie would love a night at the races.
They even reckon that they could give Eddie money to gamble with, rather than giving him presents. Which Will is glad about, as he was running out of ideas:
[Will] “I can’t get him another Bonnie Tyler CD”
I’m off to ponder this new information that Eddie is a Bonnie Tyler fan …
Ruined packet of crisps
That Jake and Mia can’t be trusted with a prawn cocktail packet of crisps.
They ended up ruining them by spilling them all over the floor as they fought over them.
But all’s well. There was another box of them our back.
Phew!
Poor Jolene
She’s not a daft one, is our Jolene.
Kenton suddenly blowing cold is all too obvious to Jolene – and she’s annoyed with herself for being so upset that Kenton’s cancelled their night out at the gig.
Trying to tell herself that it doesn’t matter, Nic catches her muttering away to herself.
[Nic] “I won't tell anyone, except myself”
(nice touch Nic).
So maybe Jolene also liked Kenton – maybe she didn’t, and is just gutted that a friend can treat her so badly.
Either way – Kenton, you are a twerp!
- “Such an exciting day for us all”
- Do Susan and Clarrie write for Heat?
- Correction fluid?
- Susan and Clarrie chat to Camilla
- Poor old Lyndee, stuck in the lavatory
- Ah – that explains Lord Netherborne
- Too slow for Charles?
- So – she laughed, and liked the shortbread
- I refuse to even comment on Kenton and Jolene anymore
- Camilla should have stopped
- “Has anyone seen Oliver?”
“Such an exciting day for us all”
So says Lynda. But, I must admit, she doesn’t quite speak for me.
I wish no harm on the Royals, but am not particularly excited about them or their doings.
My only joy out of this particular Royal visit is the classic Lyndee moments it has helped nurture.
But ho-hum. Well done Camilla. I suppose if anything, there might be a bit of a flurry of donations and support for osteoporosis.
Do Susan and Clarrie write for Heat?
Arriving early to bag a good place to watch Camilla go by, Clarrie and Susan then go off into a ‘she’s thin, she’s fat’ commentary.
Almost like the ‘eeek! How horribly thin is she’, followed a week later with a ‘eeeek! How horribly fat is she’ in Heat magazine.
Anyhoo. The woman from the telly is too thin (and looks frozen) whereas Helen:
[Susan] “Helen looks the better for carrying more weight since she had the baby”
Correction fluid?
What is this outbreak of rudery (Jazzer re mantelpieces the other day) and *snort* suggestions?
Was that really correction fluid on Lynda’s jacket?
I hope so. The alternative is too awful to contemplate.
Susan and Clarrie chat to Camilla
After much cheering, flag waving and Susan reckoning Camilla looked in her direction – Clarrie and Susan then get to actually speak to Camilla!
Actually, they even shook her hand!!!
My. Giddy. Aunt.
And wasn’t Lynda overjoyed for them …
Poor old Lyndee, stuck in the lavatory
[Lynda] “You? The Duchess spoke to you? I’m afraid I was elsewhere when the Duchess came through reception … I was infact in the ladies when the Duchess arrived … it was a bitter blow, I’m afraid … I’m afraid I’ve missed my moment”
Ah – that explains Lord Netherborne
His osteoporosis gave Caroline and Camilla something to chat about.
[Camilla] “Poor man. Not many people realise that man are affected by it as well as women,. Is he in a lot of pain?”
And poor chap for having to have a fall just so Caroline could make small talk to Royalty.
Too slow for Charles?
[Caroline – still talking about Lord Netherborne] “His recovery is quite slow … to slow for him anyway
[Camilla] “I know the feeling …”
Did I hear that right?
Could that have been a comment on Camilla being impatient about Charles’ lack of crown?
Surely not?
So – she laughed, and liked the shortbread
Camilla did seem a nice sort, and was very nice to Ambridge’s nicest resident – Mr Ian Craig.
What was Ian’s problem with meeting Camilla, after she had especially asked for him?
Just nerves?
[Caroline] “She’s lovely. It’s just like talking to anyone else”
Caroline manages to persuade him to say help, which he does. Even though it was a tad excruciating hearing Ian bow so low that he must have scraped his forehead on the floor.
Still – Camilla did make a very apt comment when asking Ian how he wound up in Ambridge:
[Camilla] “Ambridge got its hooks into you … I imagine that happens to a lot of people”
Indeed Camilla. If only you know how very true that is for some of us. There’s a whole gaggle of Ambridge-widowers out there.
I refuse to even comment on Kenton and Jolene anymore
I can’t actually not – but must be firm that it annoys me that I have to.
I am hereby deciding that Jolene and Kenton are not going to get it on – and that I will not play along with the ‘will they, won’t they’ shenanigans.
Well … at least until they actually get interesting again .
Camilla should have stopped
Lynda is beyond consolation at missing her moment with Royalty:
[Lynda] “What have I got to look forward to? A bike ride home in the cold and dark followed by the parish council meeting”
And then her chain falls off.
But what’s this?
The sound of a car.
It slows down.
Lynda exclaims: “Oh! Your Royal Highness”
And then …
… the car carries on.
So Camilla sees Lynda struggling (in the cold and dark) with her bike, but doesn’t instruct her driver to give her some help.
I think that’s rather rude.
I’d have stopped. And I don’t even have a driver to do all the ,mucky work.
Still – mustn’t grumble – as Lynda was delighted.
[Lynda] “… I got the most charming wave and smile in return”
Her bubble can’t even be burst by Kenton and Jolene pointing out that she has oil on her face,
[Lynda] “Oh anyway. What does it matter. My own personal wave. There’s no-one else in Ambridge who can claim that!”
That’s kinda sweet, I suppose.
“Has anyone seen Oliver?”
Asks Caroline.
He was seemingly around yesterday, and is in the kitchen today, but we haven’t heard from him for many a month.
Suspicious …
- Roy has to go and see the head
- Will The Queen be upset about Ambridge Post Office closing?
- Vicky has a friend called Alice
- Here we go with Helen …
- How can one have lambs coming out of one’s ears, David?
- A use for Susan!
- It’s all bull
- The oddness of Lynda
Roy has to go and see the head
He and Hayley have decided that Phoebe should finish school a week earlier so that she can experience flying with Kate first, before she then has to do the return trip by herself.
However, I doubt we’ve heard the last of this.
[Roy] “Hayley’s not happy about any of it”
Will The Queen be upset about Ambridge Post Office closing?
Helen’s not interested in seeing The Duchess, but Susan is so excited that she’s actually shutting the Post Office.
Read that again.
Susan.
Is shutting.
The Post Office.
Wow!
But it’s okay. Susan reckons Camilla’s mother-in-law won’t be too worried.
Vicky has a friend called Alice
Have we heard about her before? I didn’t think Vicky had any friends.
Who the flump is Alice?
Here we go with Helen …
I’m a bit confused.
On the one hand, Helen has changed to the point where she can leave Henry alone in the flat while she pops down to the shop (actually – I don’t think she should have done that …), but then she exhibits perfect signs of being a tad weird.
As she was talking to Susan about Jazzer being in a grump about the sham that was his double date last night:
[Helen] “Ah. It sounded ghastly. Thank goodness I’m not part of that scene anymore. I’ve got the only man I want in my life upstairs”
Yikes! Psycho mum …
That Harry is a happy and quiet wee chap either means he is just that – happy – or that Helen is, behind the scenes, terrifying him with severe overprotective love into peaceful submission.
Time shall tell on this one, I reckon.
How can one have lambs coming out of one’s ears, David?
I’m no sheep farmer, but it sounds to me like Brookfield has a decidedly odd way of lambing.
A use for Susan!
Helen runs into the shop, just as Susan is getting ready to go home, in an utter panic.
Wee Henry has “an awful, awful rash”.
With Pat and Tony being on holiday, Helen doesn’t know who else to turn to.
And lucky Susan was there. She was able to calm Helen, and work out that Henry only had milk spots. Which are quite common (so I understand).
Panic over, Susan’s done a good deed and Helen has now learned how to read her baby advice books.
It’s all bull
Oh boy, is Ruth furious.
Once again – after promising that everything would settle down – David now decides that he needs to drive to Scotland to safely deliver General (the Bull) to his new home.
And he wants to do it over two nights. Which would mean missing Pip’s 18th birthday morning.
David’s point is that General was one of Nigel’s favourites, so he wants to be sure that Elizabeth knows he’s being taken care of properly.
Ruth’s point is that David is once again putting Elizabeth before his wife and kids… and lambs.
[Ruth] “Understand? I’ve been doing nothing but! …No David. Absolutely not … you seriously mean you’re not even going to be here for your daughter’s 18th birthday …You promised you’d be here”
[David] “I’ve promised to deliver the bull”
But – David has also promised to sort out (and hide) Pip’s car, help with the lambing, be around more often etc etc etc
[David] “I’m trying to do what’s best for everyone”
[Ruth] “Well you’re not doing what’s best for you”
David is also seemingly not sleeping well due to stress, so Ruth’s as much angry at him as she is worried.
His claim that this all “won’t be for much longer” has been said many times before, and is becoming increasingly hollow.
Despite David changing his trip to Scotland to next week – Ruth is still unhappy. It still means less help on-hand during lambing, and that David is once again looking after Elizabeth’s interests first.
She really didn’t sound like she wanted that hug from David …
The oddness of Lynda
[Roy] “I just had the most bizarre conversation with Lynda … I’ve already got Vicky wanting me to ask the Duchess if she’s excited about the wedding … now Lynda’s told me that if I get to speak to her, I’ve got to tell her about this amazing coincidence which is that Nolly and one of her grandchildren were born three days apart … Nolly’s like about 7 years older”
Roy’s confusion is that he doesn’t really see Nolly as his relation, and that this ‘coincidence’ isn’t really much of a coincidence.
Lynda odd behaviour is making Caroline regret allowing Lynda to work on the Camilla shift:
[Caroline] “ … and if I catch Lynda anywhere but behind that reception desk tomorrow …”
[Roy] “You don’t think she’s going to try and smuggle herself into the tea?”
[Caroline] “I only hope we can keep her under control …”
- Nigel’s racing mice
- Classic ghost stories aren’t appropriate
- Will no-one think of Eileen Titcombe?
- Royalty and a gluten free lady
- Do Royalty use the toilet?
- “I can’t settle to anything”
- Have we forgotten Phil already?
- Lynda glazes Ian
- Oliver lives!
- Enough already, Kenton and Jolene
Nigel’s racing mice
Kenton is proving to be quite a responsible and nice chap these days – well, at least when it comes to his niece and nephew.
He’s taken Lily and Freddie to the Science Museum today. Although they didn’t want to stay long (they do worry about mummy), but Kenton did have time to tell them of some happy memories about their father.
Kenton told them about Nigel’s racing mice.
[Kenton] “He even got Shula knitting them little racing jerseys …”
Freddie was quite tickled to realise that this wasn’t a childhood hobby – it was his dad in his thirties.
Ah Nigel. You did make us giggle.
Classic ghost stories aren’t appropriate
According to Elizabeth.
She seems to be quite annoyed that Lily is engrossed in a book – and thinks she shouldn't be reading it because it’s a ghost story. Even though Kenton reckons it’s a classic.
What’s wrong? The book itself (which we didn’t get to hear the title of), or that Lily is engrossed?
Will no-one think of Eileen Titcombe?
According to Elizabeth, one of the results of Lily having her head in a book is her not keeping her bedroom today.
Which just simply isn’t fair on Eileen and her vacuum.
Quite.
(though “vacuum” shows Elizabeth’s class – it’s most definitely a hoover in ma hoose!)
Royalty and a gluten free lady
Phew! Ian is going to have his work cut out for him.
And doesn’t he sound nervous.
Do Royalty use the toilet?
Lynda certainly seems to think so, and she’d be one I’d trust to know.
[Lynda] “Have you given any thought to the cloakroom arrangements?”
For goodness sake woman! Not content with forcing your way back onto shift, you now want to go to the toilet with Camilla.
Enough already. You’ll only embarrass yourself.
“I can’t settle to anything”
With the kids off to the Science Museum, Elizabeth has time to think.
Which isn’t comfortable for her at all.
[Jill] “Darling, it is how it is, I’m afraid, You're going to feel like that for a good while yet … it’s when there’s nothing to do and you’re by yourself. You start thinking.”
Have we forgotten Phil already?
Not quite, as the year anniversary of his death was on a non-eavesdropping day.
Quite startling to compare Nigel’s horrific to Phil’s rather gently fitting death.
But then again, Phil wouldn’t have been daft enough to have gone up on that roof.
Playing the piano to pigs was more his style.
Lynda glazes Ian
Lynda just isn’t going to give up on her dreams of a close brush with Camilla.
Being caught by Ian practising the moment she is introduced to Camilla:
[Lynda] “On wants to have a few conversational gambits to the ready … I have discovered the most similarities between her life and mine”
Seemingly Lynda reckons they will be bosom buddies are they are both grandmothers, and have a grandchild born in October.
Lynda seems to have missed the point that she isn’t actually due to be introduced during the Royal visit.
[Caroline] “You've got that glazed look Ian. What’s she been saying?”
[Ian] “Something about babies and being presented to the Duchess …”
[Caroline] “What? She’s not satisfied with being on the desk. She’s trying to gate-crash the tea now!”
Oliver lives!
Hurrah! He has been spotted tasting Ian’s samples of the food he’ll cook for Camilla.
Phew. I was about to head round to dig up Caroline’s patio.
Must say that he is being a tad useless. Didn’t he hand over the reins to Ed so that he could be of more use to Caroline at Grey Gables?
Enough already, Kenton and Jolene
[Kenton] “We’ll have to get together after the event and compare notes”
Kenton’s checking when Jolene’s has her days off, so that they can get together again to see how they did during Valentine’s.
[Kenton] “See who did best at fleecing the gullible romantics of Borchester”
Fair enough. They’re in the same trade. They’re both having Valentine’s themed evenings. And they have time on their hands.
One should never assume that just because two folks are single and spending time together that they’re being, or heading towards being, ‘intimate’ – but surely these two are making enough hints collectively for one of them to do something about it?
I reckon they would make a grand couple.
Even though Kenton would – yet again – be under the shadow of Saint Sid.
- Ruth missed her window
- Now there’s a surprise … Kate asking for Brian’s money
- New mart by Christmas
- An untidy Helen worries Clarrie
- Bridge Farm to Shut!
- Robotic Milkers
- Nae luck Brian – a Prozac free Paris
- “Roy’s a freak, he was born middle aged”
- Will Tony find a sense of humour?
Ruth missed her window
Jennifer’s worried about how tired Ruth looks, but Brian’s saying he now hasn’t got time to help out at Brookfield (what with the Mart marching ahead).
Ah well Ruth. You never know. Jennifer might push Brian to you yet.
Now there’s a surprise … Kate asking for Brian’s money
Pretending to Jennifer and Brian that Roy and Hayley are fairly fine with Phoebe’s trip to South Africa, Kate then hits Brian with a polite request that he pays for Phoebe’s fare.
Oh I didn’t see that one coming …
New mart by Christmas
It’s not been the most scintillating of Ambridge happenings – but the Mart is, by Brian’s reckoning, going to be ready for Christmas.
[Brian] “You know me Jenny, if anything’s worth doing it’s worth doing yesterday”
(and excuse me while I go rest in a dark room. Mention of Christmas in February. Ugh!)
An untidy Helen worries Clarrie
Clarrie didn’t quite know how to say what she wanted to say to Pat about Helen – but it came out as “it don’t be like it used to be” (or something similar).
Bless.
Clarrie was worried that Helen’s flat is no longer pristine, but Pat reckons it’s healthier. It shows that Helen finally has a life! (albeit through her baby)
Bridge Farm to Shut!
For a whole afternoon.
Steady on Pat!
With Clarrie disappointed that she couldn’t get the afternoon off – Vicky unavailable – Tom covering for Pat and Tony while they’re away to Salzburg – and Helen busy with Henry, Pat has made an executive decision to shut down.
And all because Clarrie wants her glimpse of Royalty.
Which is fair enough I suppose. Clarrie has few moments of glamour and glitter in her life.
Robotic Milkers
That’s quite enough of Debbie’s personal life, thank you very much!
Nae luck Brian – a Prozac free Paris
Lilian and Matt have somehow found out about Brian’s trip to Paris, and have decided to go as well.
Brian’s making out that he’s annoyed the Borchester Land seems to have a mole, but I reckon he’s more perturbed that he managed to persuade Jennifer not to accompany him, but now he’s got her sister.
“Roy’s a freak, he was born middle aged”
Well, I bet Roy’s also hasn’t got anything nice to say about you Kate!
What a female dog she is.
[Kate] “Honestly, what did I ever see in Roy Tucker?”
[Kate] “He’s jealous of the relationship I have with Phoebe …”
Does Kate not possess any self-awareness?
Jennifer tries to tell Kate that she isn’t being entirely fair on Roy and Hayley, but, in the same breath, agrees that Phoebe should go on this trip.
Kate’s big plan is to let Phoebe travel over by herself, so that she doesn’t miss school.
Phoebe would have a chaperone on the plane, but Roy isn’t having any of it.
Must admit I think Kate has a point that it’d be an amazing holiday for Phoebe – and really, how much can go wrong just on the plane? – but she’s obviously gone about this whole thing the wrong way.
I’m predicting this again – Phoebe ain’t coming back …
Will Tony find a sense of humour?
I doubt it.
Kathy’s got him one of those brain-training-DS thingys for the over 60s.
Pat thinks he’ll like it, but Kathy’s now wondering if it’ll just make things worse with Tony.
Never mind. Run off with Pat and leave him to his yard tractor.
- Slow day …
- Some more folks met Henry
- Brian asked about Jamie
- Susan’s planning lunch with Brian
- Helen hasn’t done the dishes
- You can wave at royalty
- Lilian thinks it is fine to miss school
- Vicky is “very full of the Royal visit”
- Lilian reckons it was Matt who sorted the Mart
- It must be love!
Slow day
So I shall be able to keep this brief and snappy (well, there's not a lot to say!)
Some more folks met Henry
Including Brian. Susan reckons a lot of calls to the shop are now an excuse to go and see Henry.
Brian asked about Jamie
Which was nearly a moment – but Kathy just said he was fine.
Susan’s planning lunch with Brian
At the yet to be built Mart.
Helen hasn’t done the dishes
As she’s busy with her new baby Henry
You can wave at royalty
Which Susan seemed surprised about
Lilian thinks it is fine to miss school
Whereas Brian is annoyed with Kate for planning a trip to South Africa with Phoebe, without talking to Roy and Hayley
(by-the-by Lilian – you are nothing like Kate, my darling gin!)
Vicky is “very full of the Royal visit”
According to Susan, while warning Pat that Vicky might try and get time off of work.
Lilian reckons it was Matt who sorted the Mart
And got it through Planning.
Brian begs to differ,
It must be love!
[Kathy] “Pat, I thought it might be best … I have been coming over far too often”
[Pat] “We’ve had our little break, now can we get back to normal”
Aw!
Pat and Kathy get back together, regardless of how much Tony is going to hump and puff about it.
- Ruth knows she’s a farmer
- You need to be fresh, not frazzled, for lambing
- “I’m not one to complain, Roy …”
- The first ‘shut up Kate!’ of 2011
- “I’m not one to make a song and dance about status …”
- Uh-oh – Lewis has a cough
- Who is Graham Ryder?
Ruth knows she’s a farmer
Phew!
That’s a good start, I reckon
You need to be fresh, not frazzled, for lambing
Usha’s popped over to see Ruth, only to find she can’t stop for coffee and is rather stressed.
Ruth hasn’t had a break in 5 weeks, and was astonished to find out from David that Elizabeth had managed to persuade the trustees that she didn’t need a professional manager to be brought in.
While Ruth says she understands that David wants to support Elizabeth, she also needs some support from David herself before she collapses.
[Ruth] “I feel so mean going on like this. What are my problems compared to what Elizabeth is going through?”
Usha does manage to get Ruth to stop for a coffee, and gives Ruth her
[Usha] “You’re not on your own remedy”
Which basically means giving Ruth space to relax and have a friendly ear.
“I’m not one to complain, Roy …”
[Lynda] “I’m not one to complain Roy, you know that, but I do feel I’ve been rather shabbily treated in all this … I’m supposed to be senior receptionist here … so I’m rather concerned I wasn’t given advance notice of next week’s special visit”
[Roy] “It wasn’t possible, for security reasons”
[Lynda] “I’m, very disappointed I must say”
[Roy] “I presume this about you not being on duty that afternoon”
[Lynda] “Quite”
Lynda is very (very) sniffy about not knowing about Camilla’s visit, which has led to her not being on the rota.
And now no-one will swap their shift with her.
To make matters worse, Caroline actually suggested to Lynda that she could simply stand at the gate of Grey Gables with the “rest of the village”.
Oh dear. Did Lynda not appreciate the very idea that she’d have to be one of the great unwashed!
[Lynda] “I won’t be doing that … well, really!”
Lynda continues – appalled that her being in charge of the rotas really doesn’t mean that at all. She’s not allowed to change them in this instance, so that means she’s really not in charge at all.
Dear me. Lynda is in full toddler tantrum mode today. Lots and lots of sniffing.
The first ‘shut up Kate!’ of 2011
Interrupting Roy’s ‘chat’ with Lynda (which I suspect he was actually quite glad about), Kate’s on one. Again.
[Kate] “I’m getting really fed up of Hayley calling me up and implying that I’m a bad mother”
[Roy] “Why do you think that is?”
[Kate] “ … because I’m taking Phoebe on the trip of her life, because I’m enriching her life with a new culture and new relationships”
[Roy] “No, because you won’t think things through before you make rash promises … what’s so difficult about talking to use first? We could avoid all these traumas …”
[Kate] “What don’t you trying thinking of Phoebe for a change!”
(big pause while Roy gathered his anger – I was right there with him!)
[Roy] “Meaning what, exactly!?!?!”
Kate was stupid enough to try and make out that Hayley and Roy only cared about her missing some school – and that they should be thinking about the horrific time she’s had as Lily and Freddie’s pal (really? I didn’t know they were so close).
As Roy pointed out, Hayley’s been spending a lot of time looking after and helping Lily and Freddie, as well as Phoebe.
So it was a bad argument for Kate to pick.
Not to be outdone, Kate then picks on Roy not wanting to pay for Phoebe’s trip. Which he didn’t say, but cost is obviously an issue – especially as neither Roy nor Hayley seem to be that well off.
As Roy tells Kate to leave, she tells him that they won’t have to pay a penny.
Hmmm.
Either Brian’s going to have to pay, or Kate will yet again break another promise to Phoebe, but will blame Roy and Hayley.
Is it too late to turn Kate back into a silent character?
“I’m not one to make a song and dance about status …”
Robert has taken Lynda to The Bull for one of Freda’s pies, and to get away from the stress at Grey Gables.
[Lynda] “I’m just feeling undervalued … you know me Robert, I’m not one to make a song and dance about status …”
[Robert] “You’re the last one, I’d say”
Ah bless Robert, and his Lynda coloured spectacles.
Robert then has a moment of sheer brilliance in its simplicity.
Instead of trying to swap a shift, surely Grey Gables needs to increase their staffing on “an important occasion like this”
[Lynda] “Oh Robert, I’ve said this before, but you really are a genius!”
And so it came to pass. Lynda told a sniggering Roy, and a slightly bemused Caroline, of her plan – and that she would “step into the breach” without pay.
Caroline tells her she will be paid, but one does wonder if she ever regrets hiring Lyndee in the first place …
Uh-oh – Lewis has a cough
Well, quite a “horrid” one, according to Caroline.
With things slightly slipping at Lower Loxley (Roy will have to organise most of a forthcoming event Grey Gables is holding there), Lewis having to go off sick really would be disaster.
I see Ruth ever inching further towards Brian’s arms …
Who is Graham Ryder?
Seriously – anyone know?
It would seem he’s Ruth and David’s last hope of a normal life – the last chance they have of Elizabeth seeing sense and bringing in a manager.
Who he???
- It’s okay. Jennifer’s got veal casserole
- Pip’s driving and fixing lambing sheds
- Is that Helen?
- Lilian out to spoil a good walk
- What’s Matt up to?
- Now Jim’s a Royalist!
- Industrial action at Grey Gables?
It’s okay. Jennifer’s got venison casserole
Tony’s in a state about Helen not being at Bridge Farm (she returns to her flat today), but Jennifer’s going to sort everything by taking her a casserole.
Actually. I shouldn’t take the Michael. That sounds quite perfect.
Jennifer is also one of the few Ambridge folks who will know exactly how Helen will be feeling. Jennifer managed to cope with Adam while coping alone (well, just about managed)
[Jennifer] “Your father phoned me last night and convinced me you’d starve here on your own”
So venison casserole it is, but I doubt Helen will eat those cupcakes.
Pip’s driving and fixing lambing sheds
Most teenagers would reveal in the sheer freedom of being able to drive up and down the village with their music blaring – but our wee saintly Pip is more than content to get to pick up the shopping. Then tackle the lambing sheds.
Josh was going to help with the sheds, but seemingly got bored after half an hour.
[Ruth] “Well it’s not the most thrilling way to spend a Friday night!”
Too right you are Ruth!
But Ruth is lucky she has got Pip.
David should have sorted the lambing sheds. David should have got in the supplies for dressing the lambs (and what not). David should have fixed the broken heat lamps …
[Ruth] “It’s not okay though, is it … I haven’t got time to chase around him checking up … the thing that really gets to me … ‘thanks very much, we don’t need you anymore’”
Which is what David said to Brian.
Even though Brian reckons:
[Brian] “It’s a shame really. I was starting to enjoy it.”
Hmmm. Brian and Ruth. Pip killed when speeding home with the frozen pizzas, or crushed when her handiwork falls apart.
Is that Helen?
It’s the first morning living solo with Henry, and Helen’s in a fluster.
Nothing’s actually wrong. Henry just won’t be put down without wailing. Which means Helen can’t have a shower, brush her teeth, or change out of her pyjamas.
And the Health Visitor is coming over.
But what’s this?
It’s our lovely Ian to the rescue. He takes Henry while Helen gets herself sorted – and has a man to man chat with him (which seemed to work).
Later on, Helen is happy to report that the Health Visitor was very pleased with her and Henry.
It will take some getting used to (us included!), but Henry very much looks to be the making of Helen. Maybe a tad stressed out and frantic at times, but nothing like the Helen of ‘back then’ who’d have a heart attack over a crumb.
Lilian out to spoil a good walk
Matt and Brian are trying to play gold, but Lilian doesn’t quite seem to get ‘it’.
[Matt, trying to get Lilian out of the way so that he can make his play] “ …look at her, strolling down the fairway like it’s Borchester high street”
What’s Matt up to?
Does this Docherty chap he’s lined up for Brian and the shoot sound as good as Matt makes him out to be?
Who is his mole at the Council, and what’s he to gain from having inside information about the Mart development?
Why is he being so smug with Brian?
Is it The Bull about to be turned into flats?
Or is Matt about to stage a coup for Lower Loxley? He is assuming that Elizabeth will want to hand over everything to a management company … and it sounds like he’s already started planning which bits of the estate would make good property sites.
None of this bodes well.
I think we can safely assume the old Matt is well and truly back …
[Matt] “It’ll take a big of digging to get your ball out of that!”
Quite.
Now Jim’s a Royalist!
I’m as surprised as Ian:
[Ian] “Jim Lloyd, I would have out money on him being staunch republication”
[Helen] “Well, maybe he is, but he seems to thoroughly approve of the Duchess of Cornwall”
Industrial action at Grey Gables?
It would seem that Lynda’s determination to make sure she’s on shift when Camilla arrives is alienating the rest of the staff.
They seemingly nearly walked out over her changing the rota.
Oh dear Lynda. Seems like it’s no holds barred when it comes to simpering at Royalty.
- Emma is seemingly quite big now
- Is David thick?
- I’d never have taken Pat for a Royalist
- Clarrie reckons Camilla “looks really nice”
- Clarrie’s not having it
- Nigel’s filing causes the meltdown
Emma is seemingly quite big now
And is finding it hard to bend down.
That’s a shame. She really needs to grovel quite low to get Clarrie back on side …
Is David thick?
He certainly seems to be so when it comes to Ruth.
[David] “There’s no way you can manage the house as well as the farm”
Ouch!
The right thing to have said, David, was that trying to manage without Emma doing some house cleaning while she’s off having her baby would be: ‘There’s no way WE can manage the house as well as the farm’.
Honestly. What an amateur.
Later on, as he’s once again tripping back home late because he’s been at Lower Loxley all day:
[Ruth] “Where the hell have you been! …You said things are going to be easier from now on. You promised.”
[David, without any sincerity] “Well I was wrong, sorry”
[Ruth] “By the way David, you might be interested you know that your daughter passed her driving test”
Oh dear. And after all the fuss David made about Pip when she first started learning, he ends up completely missing the important part.
David better hope Brian doesn’t start ‘helping# Ruth again …
I’d never have taken Pat for a Royalist
But she seemed just as chuffed as Clarrie was. Pat even reminisced about Princes Margaret.
Where did that feisty Welsh feminist/socialist go?
Clarrie reckons Camilla “looks really nice”
[Clarrie] “You’d think she’d have a look round. I always think she looks really nice. Approachable, you know, like a regular person. I best you could have a proper chat with her.”
[Emma] “You’ll be camping out in the pavement, won’t you!”
Hmmm. I don’t think taking the Michael out of Clarrie was the best way for Emma to win her back …
Clarrie’s not having it
So after taking the Michael, Emma then, very tentatively, asks Clarrie to go shopping with her for the baby.
Which is seemingly a very nice thing for a prospective grandmother to be asked to do.
But Clarrie wasn’t impressed. She even tried to pass it back to Emma as something she should be doing with her own mum.
[Emma] “This baby’s your grandchild too”
Clarrie then said she couldn’t get the time off, promoting Emma to point out that Clarrie had a day off of work to spend time with Nic.
But Clarrie reckoned that was different. It was a WI outing.
Later, Clarrie’s talking to Pat about Emma:
[Clarrie] “Ah, you know what it’s about, don’t you? All them weeks I was laid up with me arm in plaster and in need of a helping hand I hardly saw hide nor hair of her .. .where as Nic were round our place every other day, a little tresasure she were … so now, Emma;s noticed that Nic and me are good friednds and she's jealous … silly girl”
Ouch! Far, far too little, far far too late, Emma.
Nigel’s filing causes the meltdown
David’s screwed up yet again.
He’s god rid of Brian’s help, Emma’s about to not be available for work due to impending baby, and now he realised that THE meeting with Graham Ryder isn’t as straightforward as it seems.
(I’m not exactly sure who Graham Ryder is – possibly the lawyer, accountant or Trustee. Whatever he is, he’s important enough to get stressed about).
David needs more information, but is having an awful time trying to find anything in Nigel’s rather eccentric filing system.
[Elizabeth] “Sometimes you need to think a bit laterally for Nigel’s filing”
And Elizabeth went on to explain that Nigel once filed an invoice under B for beard as that was all he could ever remember about the supplier.
Bless.
But as Elizabeth tries to track everything down for David, she gets more and more irate (which David doesn’t seem to notice – which is odd, considering he was the one saying that she needed to let it all out).
Elizabeth:
“How could anyone else possibly deal with his eccentric setup …
(when she told him that they’d be knackered if he was run over by a bus) “ …he just laughed, and he promised he’d take care when crossing the road, as I literally meant a bus …he never took any notice of me, never …
“WHAT WAS HE THINKING OF DAVID, GOING CLAMBOURING ABOUT ON THAT ROOF … IT WAS JUST SO TYPICAL OF HIM,. SO IRRESPONSIBLE … I WARNED HIM. I TOLD HIM NOT TO GO UP THERE, BUT DID HE LISTEN? NO, HE DIDN’T!!! JUST IGNORED ME, SOMETIMES I JUST GET SO ANGRY WITH HIM
“…I try not to give into it, it doesn’t do any good, but sometimes….”
Phew!
I think we all felt a wee bit better for that.
- Henry has big blue eyes and is putting on weight
- “It’s a question of priorities, David”
- The Duchess of Cornwall
- I still don’t get Lord Netherbourne
- Ian’s Gordon Ramsay impression
Henry has big blue eyes and is putting on weight
A very proud Ian is showing off his phone pictures of Henry to Lynda.
The wee man seems to be doing just grand.
“It’s a question of priorities, David”
While David might be better at operating the grabber, Ruth is sounding increasingly frustrated at his lack of care and attention for Brookfield, his wife and his kids.
David is being a tad confusing at the moment – in one breath he says he can’t promise to take Pip on her final driving lesson (although he already did promise), but in the next he tells Brian his services are no longer required at Brookfield.
David reckons all well in hand at Lower Loxley, so the extra help isn’t needed.
Hmmm. I bet Ruth won’t agree with that.
The Duchess of Cornwall
Or Camilla, as Charlie probably calls her …
[Caroline] “On Wednesday the 16th, we are hosting a tea for the Borchester branch of the osteoporosis society, it’s their 25th anniversary … they’re going to be joined by their National President, her Royal Highness the Duchess of Cornwall”
[Ian] “You’re kidding me; we’re getting a royal visit, at Grey Gables!”
Which explains why Caroline was frantically ‘tarting up’.
And oh boy – does Ambridge loves its Royals!
Ian won’t do his famous shortbread (as he doesn’t want to seem competitive with Duchy Shortbread).
And Lynda is going to tread on anyone and everyone to make sure she gets to be within “two feet” of Camilla.
Lynda’s not merely delighted to be looking forward to welcoming royalty – she’s also relieved that her suspicion that Caroline was about to sell up proved to be unfounded.
[Lynda] “Never occurred to me for a moment that her reticence was a consequence not of a guilty secret, but of Royal protocol”
Of course, Royalty has visited Ambridge before, and probably caused just as much of a stir.
Wonder if there’ll be any students around that day …
I still don’t get Lord Netherbourne
So Lord Netherbourne has a connection to Camilla – he has osteoporosis (so a charity connection) – and he’s a lord.
Is that why his fall was mentioned a few months back?
Surely more to come???
Ian’s Gordon Ramsay impression
Did you catch Ian doing his shouting Chef routine while talking to Lynda about the Royal visit?
Bless. He still sounds quite nice, even when he’s bossy.
