The Archers: the Odd Couple’s House meeting … it’s ‘no’ to the Peregrines … Eddie doesn’t want to be a rat …Nigel does want to be a Dame … Elizabeth just isn’t any fun at all
- Jazzer and Harry’s house meeting
- Lynda’s hoping for dead pigeons
- Panto *snort* moments #1
- “How come he gets to be the dame?”
- “I know who Van Helsing is … I just didn’t realise he looked like Nigel”
- “I’ve got more to worry about than your irrational hatred of Nathan booth”
- Does smoking out of the window count?
- The Panto cast (so far) #1
Jazzer and Harry’s house meeting
That seemed to go quite well.
£20 for the kitty, and Jazzer agrees to do a bit of cleaning.
Could this Odd Couple actually work out?
Later on, Jazzer even says to Harry, as he’s off out clubbing:
“Sweet dreams darling … don’t wait up”
(*snort*! He did say that sarcastically)
Panto *snort* moments #1
[Jazzer to Harry] “Off you, go trixi bell”
[Harry to Jazzer] “Titchy dwarf”
[Eddie on Sabrina being a cat] “Pussy galore?”
[Lynda in reply to the above] “No. .. Tom”
[Eddie, still on about Sabrina being a cat] “She can tickle your whiskers any day, eh Nigel!”
Lynda’s hoping for dead pigeons
It was a ‘no’ to the Peregrines, so Lynda is fuming and wishing dead matter falls on all the naysayers heads.
Ah that Lynda. You can always depend on her to be magnanimous in defeat.
“How come he gets to be the Dame?”
Poor Eddie.
He read for Idle Jack, but has ended up a Rat.
Well, Second rat.
Actually Rat Henchman Two.
With Nathan Booth as Rat Henchman One.
And Richard Thwaite as King Rat.
Eddie was desperately trying to get Nigel to give him the Dame part (but Nigel was increasingly quite taken with the idea … it sounded like he was even already planning some nice frocks).
Ah well.
It’s the taking part that counts.
“I know who Van Helsing is … I just didn’t realise he looked like Nigel”
Kenton’s making a real effort for The Bull’s Halloween party tomorrow. Which seems to involve wearing all of Nigel’s clothes in an effort to be Van Helsing.
Elizabeth seems quite bemused at Kenton and Nigel acting like two wee laddies setting off on guising.
Actually, when was the last time Elizabeth actually had any fun at all (apart from when Nigel goes all out to surprise her).
Does she ever just relax and enjoy?
Even her wee quip to Kenton sounded flat and a bit like nagging, when said by anyone else it would have been witty:
“When you do [go out with Nigel] … bring Nigel back in the realm of the living”
“I’ve got more to worry about than your irrational hatred of Nathan Booth”
[Eddie to Lynda] “It’s not irrational … you can ask anyone!”
[Lynda to Eddie] “I’m sure you and Nathan could come to an amicable working relationship”
Hmmm.
Lynda’s not listening to Eddie, and Eddie isn’t listening to Lynda.
“If you were such a great actor, Eddie, you’d be able to empathise”
I think you could both do with a bit of empathy Lynda.
Does smoking out of the window count?
Ah, that’s more like it.
Harry’s not amused that Jazzer has been smoking in the flat.
But Jazzer reckons he hasn’t been. As he was leaning out of the window at the time. And he was also doing it in his own room, which he pays for.
[Jazzer] “I’ve done everything else you wanted … I’ve sat through your meetings … paid for the kitty … even cleaned up”
And, Harry admitted that he couldn’t even smell the smoke. He’d noticed Jazzer hanging out of the window on his way back to the flat.
I’m with Jazzer on this one.
The Panto cast (so far) #1
Jill: fairy beau bells
Vicky: Mrs Fitzwarren
Sabrina: Whittington’s cat
Nigel: Sarah the Cook (The Dame)
Harry: Idle Jack
Richard Thwaite: King Rat
Nathan Booth: Rate Henchman 1
Eddie: Rat Henchman 2
Jim: The Imperial Majesty
(but still no Dick or Alice!)
The Archers: The Odd Couple … Jamie’s avoiding Kenton … the Peregrine plot thickens … Peggy has yet another computer lesson
- “You binned my chips!”
- “Just a little white lie to keep things simple”
- Vampire night at The Bull
- It was only Fallon
- The Peregrines led to Clash of the Titans
- Peggy’s determined to find her GI
“You binned my chips!”
Well, we never really expected Harry and Jazzer to share a flat without Jazzer being a bit disgusting, and Harry fruitlessly trying to encourage him to better ways.
Harry has got another day of being a thoroughly nice, helpful chap.
Whereas Jazzer is looking for his chips from last night. He was going to have them for his lunch chip butty.
Harry shouldn’t have just dumped the chips. And his offer of
“Apple … muesli … dried apricots”
Was hardly acceptable for our Jazzer.
“I’m no a gerbil – I need some real grub!”
Then shock and horror! Harry’s racing bike mug is missing.
As are numerous other mugs.
Two blokes. One small flat. One a slob, the other a bit of a maiden aunt when it comes to cleanliness.
Better get more mugs.
“Just a little white lie to keep things simple”
Kenton’s feeling hard done by.
Jamie won’t return his calls or texts, and it’s all the fault of that Holly.
“I can’t believe she’d do that! Prances over … starts snogging me like there’s no tomorrow. Holly’s a lovely girl in many ways, and in other circumstances …”
Despite Kirsty being right that Kenton is allowed to see other people, it’s not Kenton just seeing other people that Jamie has a problem with.
Kenton lied to Jamie when he said that Holly was just a friend.
Kenton lied to Holly that he and Kathy was well and truly over.
And now Kenton’s lying to himself in trying to lay the blame at any door other than his own.
As he himself later admitted:
“To be fair, Holly didn’t know the whole story”
And stop the press!
“It’s all my fault”
“I should’ve had more sense … more willpower … I should’ve thought about what it would do to Jamie”
“I had a real chance to help him – now I’ve just blown it”
Yet again, Kenton.
You’re blown it yet again.
Vampire night at The Bull
Harry to Fallon:
“You’d look great as Kristen Stewart”
Didn’t Fallon sound delighted to get such a compliment from Harry!
The lady does indeed like. She likes very much!
Seemingly Kathy’s also doing a vampire menu. Which you can bring your own teeth to (tee-hee!).
It was only Fallon
Jazzer had asked Harry if it was alright for him to have a friend back.
But it turned out to only be Fallon.
Obviously keen to keep Fallon to himself, Jazzer tries to keep her in his teeny wee box bedroom.
[Jazzer] “Just about room for two if we hold our breaths”
[Fallon] “What’s that smell – is it pigs?”
Jazzer’s tiny room is now seemingly set off with dirty clothes, dirty plates (and mugs!) and general muck and mire.
The muck extends to a few choice pictures of scantily clad women:
“Harry prefers blokes in lyrca but me, I’m more conventional”
Both Harry and Jazzer seem to think that they’ll be fine living together. It’ll just be a case of getting used to each other’s routines.
Hmmmm.
The Peregrines have led to the Clash of the Titans
Peggy is against the Peregrines:
“I don’t want to see half eaten songbirds”
But, Harry:
“I suppose falcon wise, I’m a bit of a fence sitter”
Which Peggy thinks is probably a safe place to be, considering Brian and Lynda will be speaking on opposing sides at a meeting to discuss the whole issue.
Peggy’s determined to find her GI
At yet another computer learning session with Harry, Peggy us yet again on about trying to find her long lost GI.
“We danced the jitterbug and won a prize … I was very young and naive”
Oo-er! Just how naive were you Peggy?
I’m in two minds about all this GI business.
It’ll be lovely for Peggy to meet up with an old friend.
But won’t he be disappointed yet again if he wants more, only to find she’s again married?
And what about Jack?
The Archers: Jazzer moves in with Harry ... Vicky faces Ed ... Peggy's second lesson with Harry
- "even a pig ark is bigger than this"
- Men on bikes?
- Jazzer 'two plastic bags' McCreary
- Widows get a basket of produce
- To give Vicky credit ...
- "Scrub calves!"
- "Call yourself a farmer? I wouldn't trust you to run a pets corner!"
- Google, perchance?
"even a pig ark is bigger than this"
So there's a surprise. Jazzer's not impressed with his room at Harry's.
Despite Harry trying to tell Jazzer that
"space is all relative",
the box room does sound teeny. It's not even small enough to have a bed - Jazzer has to make do with a futon (which has to stay up as a sofa if he wants to move around at all).
Alarm bells are sounding already with Harry mentioning to Jazzer that he "might want" to leave his shoes in the hall ...
"we'll get along fine ... Jazzer old son"
I very much doubt it, Harry me old mate.
Men on bikes?
It'd be a bit clumsy to deduce anything from Harry having pictures of last year's Tour de France up in his box room (now Jazzer's bedroom), but what else would be the point of it, in this context?
Harry claims the pictures were to:
"add a touch of colour, a bit of class"
Jazzer's response:
"if I do have to live in a shoe box, I don't plan to share it with a bunch of pumped up guys in lyrca"
The obvious response to all of this would be to assume Harry might be gay.
It would explain why he's shown little interest in Fallon (isn't she supposed to be a bit of a looker?), though it wouldn't explain his interest in Nic.
It might also explain why he's gone to such lengths to be a useful part of the village. Maybe he thinks Ambridge still burns gay men (or lesbians) at the stake, so best to be integrated before the big reveal?
Hmmmm.
I'm not convinced.
Maybe this was more about Jazzer being a bit of an insecure lout, than anything about Harry.
Making a point of saying how he'll put up
"some fine wee lassies",
and how his toiletries amount to a toothbrush and a razor - maybe Jazzer actually doth protest too much?
Jazzer 'two plastic bags' McCreary
Aw!
Jazzer can fit all of his worldly possessions into (which sounded like) two plastic carrier bags.
What a wee shame.
Still, if he didn't spend so much down The Bull ...
Widows get a basket of produce
That seems to be the case during the Harvest sermon at the church.
Jill was given once as she's been recently widowed.
I’m not sure whether I'd be touched or embarrassed (and upset), in her place.
To give Vicky credit ...
... she does at least her the nerve to face Ed to tell him that she's failed to sell any veal (apart from a wee bit to Ian).
And she kept her cool when Ed basically said 'I told you so'.
Though she doesn't entirely accept that it was a doomed to failure plan:
[Vicky] "how could we know till we tried?"
[Ed] "It's just common sense!"
Despite Ed getting quite blatantly more and more angry, Vicky continues to blunder on - now suggesting that they keep the calves for breeding bulls.
Which leads us to:
"Scrub calves!"
[Ed] "scrub calves! They're not good enough! They're not fit for anything!"
How did Vicky explode when Ed called her beloved calves "scrub"!
Quite suddenly, she went from slightly humble, to furiously righteous:
[Vicky] "It's a failure .. because I couldn't guarantee continuity of supply! ... if you'd shown a bit more guts and imagination ..."
[Ed] "either way, it's a stupid idea"
[Vicky] "you just think you know it all!"
[Ed] "you must be away with the fairies!"
Al of which results with:
"Call yourself a farmer? I wouldn't trust you to run a pets corner!"
Ouch! That final verbal blast from Vicky must have somewhat bruised Ed.
When Vicky later retells the rather unsightly scene between herself and Ed to Mike
"my lovely boys ... scrub calves!"
Demanding that Mike takes her side, and to tell Ed that
"before he gets anything from me ... I'll proper detailed invoice and an apology"
What's the chances of either of those being forthcoming from Ed?
While Vicky does owe him money for the upkeep of her "lovely boys", her frothing rant won't make Ed keen to be nice to her anytime soon.
Poor Mike, stuck in-between.
If only he hadn't pandered to Vicky's whims in the first place.
Google, perchance?
Harry was showing Peggy how to use 'one of the most popular search engines".
The first thing Peggy wants to look up is Alzheimers.
Which was a bit of a sad moment, as Peggy also mentioned that everything with Jack might have been a bit different if she'd has access to the wealth of information on the internet before now.
Very true. Peggy could have found more advice and support.
Peggy's GI is back!
Well - not really. He's not back in body, but it looks like he is well and truly back in Peggy's mind.
As Harry shows Peggy how to look people up, and despite saying that she'd be able to have few friends on Facebook (as they'll either have forgotten her or are ... well ... dead), Peggy does want to look up Con Korchmar (sp?).
Will Peggy find her lost love?
And if she does, what will happen (considering that her husband is still actually alive)?
The Archers: Vicky's off to Birmingham ... Jazzer and Brenda fight over a slice of ham ... Peggy gets computer lessons ... Mike has a cunning plan
- How many of you wished you could turn Vicky's voice off?
- "This is the full Monty"
- Breed!
- Peggy gets a gold star!
- A roaring trade in pasties
- "It's like having a stray dog in the house"
- Does Harry really know what he's letting himself in for?
- The meat supplier says ...
How many of you wished you could turn Vicky's voice off?
Worried about the directions to her big meeting in Birmingham, Vicky didn't want to use her sat nav because:
[Vicky] "she just annoys me ... I end up shouting at her"
[Mike] "you could always turn the voice off"
I actually don't mind Vicky all that much (though she's far from one of my favourite residents), but I could hear many Archers Eavesdroppers wishing they could turn Vicky off just as easily!
"This is the full Monty"
Vicky on how big and important her potential veal client is:
"this isn't just your backstreet butcher, or half baked pie maker - this is the full Monty!"
Phew! That's a whole lotta nonsensical waffling m'lady!
And it would seem everything hangs on this client taking an order. As everyone else (apart from Ian and his 'best cuts') has said 'no'.
[Vicky] "you wouldn't believe how picky these people can be!"
Hmmm.
A tiny new supplier with a product there's no demand for.
Vicky really doesn't get this whole business thing, does she?
Breed!
Which is Scottish for bread.
Which Jazzer ate.
Which left Brenda with none to eat.
Oops.
Jazzer's damned if he does, damned if he doesn't.
Making an effort to be clean, he still gets screeched at by Brenda for eating what she reckons was her lunch.
[Jazzer] "tom just said to come and help myself"
[Brenda] "you cleaned us out ... I don't want your sandwich. I want my own! You greedy pig!!!"
Now, I think Brenda was making far too much of a fuss over what was basically one slice of ham and a bit of bread.
Jazzer didn't expect her to come home for lunch:
"They let you out for dinner then eh? Con man Crawford and his missus"
And I think he was quite right to leg it as Brenda's rant reached a peak.
Brenda just doesn't want Jazzer around. Tom's being his usual blinkered self. Jazzer can't win.
Peggy gets a gold star!
Was it just me, or was Harry a tad patronising towards Peggy?
Why was he so surprised that Peggy could touch type, when typewriters have most definitely predate computer?
(but I will admit that Harry is starting to irk me. Just what is his angle?)
Peggy did actually sound like she knew what she was doing - maybe she just wanted to spend some one-on-one time with the hunky milkman?
Harry also sounded like he was enjoying his time with Peggy. Though it wasn't anything other than pupil/teacher appreciation:
"she's amazing isn’t she - a real super gran!"
And will we see Peggy on Twitter and Facebook soon? She sounded enthused by the idea of social networking, though I have a nasty suspicion she could end up downloading films without actually paying for them ...
Peggy wasn't so sure about things like Skyping. She thinks seeing someone you love, when they're actually far away, actually makes it harder.
Especially on kids.
Was that yet another dig at Kate?
A roaring trade in pasties
Never mind veal, Vicky and Tom should be battling over pasties!
Will had one the other week, now Mike has to make do with one after giving his lunch to Brenda.
(and I bet Brenda used to steal lunch money off the other kids at school. After all, she's happy to steal an older man's lunch!)
"It's like having a stray dog in the house"
What?
Since when were strays dogs "idiots" with "no respect, no consideration"?
If Brenda had meant Jazzer had cowered in a corner, piddled on the carpet, then ripped open a few cushions, I could have understood.
But that just didn’t work, Brenda.
Does Harry really know what he's letting himself in for?
Mike's plan to get Jazzer out of Brenda's life, is to foist him on Harry.
And Harry seems quite happy at the prospect.
Why oh why oh why???
Is this all part of Harry's plan, or is he just that dense?
Surely he can't have failed to notice that Jazzer hates him, and will make his life (and home) a living hell?
With Jazzer completely cornered - Brenda's given him until the morning to get out, and Harry has a room - he has no choice but to bed down in Harry's pad.
"it’s a great little room jazz, and you’d be just the man to fit it"
(queue the music for The Odd Couple!)
The meat supplier says ...
... no!
[Vicky] "it was horrible ... he said no ... he doesn't want it ... no continuity of supply ...demand ..."
[Vicky] "it's no god Mike. I’ve failed. I can't sell it. we should never have kept those calves"
Oh dear. I actually feel a bit sorry for Vicky.
