Helen makes gratin, and sides with Tom: Mon 01.04.13 #thearchers

Pondering The Archers Monday 1st April 2013

• Tony’s feeling positive
• Helen defends Tom … and agrees with him?
• Chris wants outside
• Henry is a handful
• April Fools’
• Helen made gratin
• Jonathan’s already stood Helen up
• Underage drinking at the Lower Loxley Easter Fayre

Benjamin eats a hat 01.04.12

The Archers Sunday 1st April 2012

• Benjamin was well behaved … then not
• Why do the arks need moved again?
• Jazzer damaged the bull bar
• Janine is the new lady in Jazzer’s life
• Christening a Forge
• The truth about Amy and Carl
• Jolene wants everyone in the car park
• Harry had to check his cereal
• Jennifer is still “popping in”

Benjamin was well behaved … then not

Benjamin and Shula are back at St Stephen’s for Palm Sunday.

(Benjamin is Shula’s donkey, generally only making an appearance in Ambridge at Palm Sunday).

He was very well behaved at first.

But later “went for” Pat Fletcher’s hat.

Seems she goes purple when she’s upset …

Shula later tells Jill that she thinks it was Pat Fletcher’s fault for flapping her hat about in the first place.

(mais non – if Pat Fletcher said no, she said no!)

By the by – we had the first mention of someone acknowledging that Shula has been in Ste Stephens more often than not recently. Jill said it was nice to see her back, though Shula did make mention that she’d be going elsewhere for the Easter walk.


Why do the arks need moved again?

Jazzer’s back (well, back near the secret microphones), and is moaning that the rain means all of the pigs need fresh straw.

AND the arks need moved. Again.

Is that normal pig management behaviour? To keep moving the arks?


Jazzer damaged the bull bar

Of Tom’s quad bike.

[Jazzer] “90% of it was doon to the gatepost, It was in the wrang place!”

[Tom] “Next to the gate!”

But not to worry. Though Tom wants Jazzer to do extra shifts for him, they’re not as punishment – Tom will pay extra. He’s just that busy.

[Jazzer] “Hold on, let me do my concerned face …”

Janine is the new lady in Jazzer’s life

[Jazzer] “I telt Janine, if she serves Tom Archer pork, we’re done before we’re started!”

Ooh.

I know Jazzer is a cheeky monkey, but not a clever thing to say to one’s boss.


Christening a Forge

Are what Chris and Alice intend to do on Thursday – the day that Chris gets ownership of the forge.

He’ll make his first piece of work in his own place, glass of wine, then a meal out.

Alice is keen for Amy to come. With Carl.


The truth about Amy and Carl

Alice is obsessed with wanting to meet Amy’s new love interest, Carl. Alan is also dropping hints.

So to get Alice off of her back, Amy explains all.

It’s quite simple, really. She just wants to take it slow with Carl.

[Amy] “This feels, special. I don’t want to wreck it”

[Alice] “You won’t. Carl is a very lucky guy. Have some faith in yourself”

But that’s exactly what Amy doesn’t have bags and bags of (faith in herself).

Amy tells Alice about her “mood” over Christmas because of what Alan had found out about her mum.

[Amy] “Dad found out that mum had been to prison … a secure children’s home … she stabbed someone when she was a kid … I’d always though mum was like, fantastic, then suddenly she wasn’t like that anymore … the worse thing was, the way I was feeling, it kinda made sense … I couldn’t work out why I do certain things, you know I have a really short temper … what I thought was that if mum could stab someone, maybe here’s some of that in me as well … so disgusted, I really did hate myself …”

Amy explains that her mum’s attack had happened because of constant racist abuse.

[Amy] “Just because I get angry sometimes, doesn’t mean I’m an awful person. Mum was a decent person, I shouldn't have doubted her … if someone like him thinks I’m okay, then I must be … I’m putting all that daft stuff behind me, but only one step at a time”

So – Amy wants to keep Carl away from her nearest and dearest because she’s still slightly worried she’s not a good ‘un?

I don’t see the sense in that.

Surely meeting the lovely Alan and co would only prove that she is?

Or does Amy just really (really) want to keep Carl away from Ambridge?


Jolene wants everyone in the car park

Steady on! I thought she was committed to our Kenton.

I jest.

Jolene wants everyone in The Bull’s car park for the flyover photo session by James and Leonie. Jazzer reckons she even wants them to make a shape like a bull’s horns.

[Jazzer] “that’s if that chinless wonder managed to point the camera the right way”

Though Tom reckons James is not an idiot:

[Jazzer] “Could pass for one in an emergency”

Jolene even wants her regulars to practise, as the photo could go down in history.

Hmmm.


Harry had to check his cereal

For booby traps.

[Jazzer] “Just cause it’s April the first, he assumes I’m gonnae act like some kind of kid!”

[Tom] “What did you actually do?”

[Jazzer] “Itching powder in his cycling shorts”

[Tom] “Excellent”

Jennifer is still “popping in”

To Alice and Chris’.

And it’s still irritating Alice that she does so.

[Amy] “It’s nice that she likes spending time with you”

Alice reckons that it’s more to do with Jennifer wanting to get away from Brian while he’s so stressed and preoccupied with the Super Dairy planning meeting (two weeks away).

The Archers Friday 1st April 2011:Gardeners’ Question Time Confirmed!

click the 'read more' link below the bullet points to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

• Jim’s got the committee sorted
• Poor Peregrines
• Eddie and Joe to get their comeuppance?
• April Fool!
• Elizabeth makes Roy the offer
• Crisps and tea make Jamie a happy chappy
• Kathy loses the plot (yet again)

Jim’s got the committee sorted

So not to panic. All shall be well when Gardeners’ Question Time comes to Ambridge.

Seemingly the questions are only chosen on the day, but Jim’s starting a committee to make sure the questions are appropriate.


Poor Peregrines

Despite the marvellous news about Gardeners’ Question Time, Lynda isn’t having a good morning.

She’s found eggs on the Path, which she got Patrick to check – and they are the Peregrines. Now there’s no sign of the “parents”.

Will they return?

Was this just an act of nature, or was there a human hand involved?

Either way, Lynda isn’t going to let the Peregrines move out without a fight!


Eddie and Joe to get their comeuppance?

They will, if Jim has his way.

His plan is for Clarrie to get herself invited elsewhere, and invite Eddie and Joe over his on Sunday.

[Jim] “They’re assuming,, as I’m no churchgoer, that I’m on their side …”

That’s the thing with Ambridge. You can always trust your mates – unless you try and be uncharitable (and nasty to Clarrie) during Lent.


April Fool!

Ah – all now becomes clear, but I really don’t think much of Jim’s April Fool joke.

For first thing – it didn’t happen on April Fool. He started it well before, only revealing that it was a joke on 1st April.

And it wasn’t very funny. I’m completely onside with Lynda with that.

Jim was somewhat abashed to hear Lynda say that she’d started reading Ovid’s Metamorphoses.

[Jim] “April Fool! … you surely didn’t think I was serious?”

[Lynda] “Well why not! With your background, why wouldn’t I?”

[Jim] “Oh come on Lynda, a mock epic text for a village book group I thought you’d see through it straight away”

Mais non! Even Richard Thwaite has starting tackling the rather meaty tome.

[Jim] “where is your sense of humour?”

[Lynda] “*sniff*”

Oops. I don’t think Jim full appreciates what *that* sniff means …

Anyhoo – Jim has actually chosen The Ghost by Robert Harris.

Which should be far more palatable for all concerned. Even if they aren’t now talking to Jim …


Elizabeth makes Roy the offer

Telling Roy to go home early, and how amazing he’s been, Elizabeth then makes her play for her man:

[Elizabeth] “I’ve been wondering, Roy, have you ever considered leaving Grey Gables… would you consider it?”

On later talking it through with Hayley, Roy is surprised, flattered and excited by the prospect of working at Lower Loxley – but he also feels great loyalty to Caroline and Oliver.

[Roy] “Caroline gave me a start .. .she taught me all I know”

[Hayley] “Business is business”

Roy is worried that if he does go for the new job, he’d feel odd then seeing Caroline and Oliver around. Well, Oliver isn’t one to be worried about – he hasn’t been seen in ages!

As Roy and Hayley chat it through, it looks like Lower Loxley is a good option for them. A pay rise, and they’d both be working in the same place (though I’d have thought that would be a mark against it!).

I think Roy, if left to himself, would stay at Grey Gables as that’s both the easier and nicer option . But with Hayley around – it looks likely he’ll make the choice that’s better for him and his family.

Regardless of how uncomfortable he’ll be out and about in Ambridge for a while.


Crisps and tea make Jamie a happy chappy

Jamie sounded absolutely delighted when Jolene first told him to help himself to crisps, and over the moon when she asked him to stay for tea.

Aren’t teenagers odd?

Kathy more or less gets food flung back at her – but Jolene can now do no wrong.

To be young and completely unfathomable and unreasonable.


Kathy loses the plot (yet again)

Arriving home to find no Jamie, Kathy calls him.

And goes a tad OTT when she realised he’s at The Bull.

She rushes over there, makes Jamie go out to the car, while she has a go at Jolene.

[Kathy] “I can do without you trying to undermine me. Wheedling him away down here all the time …”

Kathy is trying to make out that she’s wants to keep Jamie away from The Bull, so that he focuses on his studying.

She doesn’t realise that (a) Jamie chose to go to The Bull and (b) Jamie studies, when at The Bull.

And Jolene did tell Jamie to text Kathy to let her know where he was.

[Kathy] “I know what you’re up to, And I’ve had enough. Jamie is my son, not yours!”

[Jolene] “Excuse me, in case you’ve forgotten, he’s Sid’s son as well, which make him my stepson. If you think I’m going to let go of that relationship, you’re wrong … you say you’re trying to keep him on the right track, well so am I “

[Kathy] “Oh how very noble of you. And I suppose Kenton’s right behind you!”

[Jolene] “Look, can we leave Kenton out of this”

[Kathy] “Well hardly, as you seem to have brought him very much into it to play happy families … you trying to take the moral high ground now … you just can’t stop himself can you, you want the whole lot. Getting the whole village to feel sorry for you while you mope over Sid, while at the same time throwing … you haven’t changed. Well I don’t want my son around someone with the morals of an alley cat”

(meow!)

Storming back out, Jamie’s in the car (listening to Lady Gaga, no less), and also has a go at Kathy. He’s just not accepting that she’s angry with Jolene because Jolene has been ‘going behind’ her back.

Well – she hasn’t. Not this time.

[Jamie] “The point is you just don’t get it, and you never will. Cause you just can’t see what you do to people. Ask yourself, mum, why would I prefer to be at The Bull … haven’t you noticed, dad preferred being with Jolene, Kenton prefers being with Jolene and you know what, I do too”

OOOOH – that was painful to listen to.

Kathy shouts after Jamie, but he’s back off to The Bull. She tries to call him, and leaves a message saying that she’s sorry.

Oh dear.

Has Kathy lost yet another man to Jolene?