- Jazzer’s on-hand to fix Fallon’s clothes
- The fan-club’s on hand to watch Jazzer sing
- (and again Jazzer): Scottish Stereotypes #749
- Harry looks like Amy Whitehouse
- Tristam Hawkshaw
- “Oh, she is hyper”
- Wishful thinking on Harry and Fallon
- Oscar stroking Sabrina – too wrong!
Jazzer’s on-hand to fix Fallon’s clothes
[Fallon] “Come on Jazzer! You’d have thought you enough practise getting girls out of their clothes … just reverse the process”
And Jazzer does indeed to fix Fallon’s sash.
Phew!
The fan-club’s on hand to watch Jazzer sing
Or at least, that’s Jazzer’s take on why it’s a full house for the Panto’s opening night.
Shame we didn’t get to hear his sing…
(and again Jazzer): Scottish Stereotypes #749
[Jazzer] “Bagpipes, kilt, fist-fitting, the lot!”
They missed out irn-bru, shortbread, haggis, tossing the caber ….
Anyhoo – Jazzer is Fallon’s great hope for a great Hogmanay.
I wonder what could do wrong ….
Harry looks like Amy Whitehouse
But Nigel is more than enjoying his make-up.
Interesting.
Tristam Hawkshaw
[Lynda] “He could be my nemesis”
Lynda is horrified to see Tristam Hawkshaw, the new director of FLOSS (Felpersham Light Opera Society) turn up at the Panto.
She gets even more worried as she sees him talking notes.
[Lynda] “You don’t know about the bitter rivalry … Larry Lovell will have dripped poison in his ear … he’s obviously going to give me his production notes”
But – all ends well. Seems Tristam is writing a review for The Echo.
“Oh, she is hyper”
So says Nigel about Lynda.
With a few last minute directions for her cast:
[Lynda] “Less of the late night reveller from Idle Jack, Jazzer”
Lynda isn’t letting up.
She places the entire success of the second half onto Harry’s shoulders (no pressure there then!)
Wishful thinking on Harry and Fallon
Everyone seems to be determined that Harry and Fallon are an item.
Corriander seems to see a buzz between them.
And Lynda tries to ask Harry, one last time:
[Lynda] “There’s nothing more you want to tell me?”
[Harry] “What? Me and Fallon? Nothing like that”
And there was no repeat of the rather monumental snog of the rehearsal.
Both Fallon and Harry were back to being their normal, wooden, Panto selves.
Oscar stroking Sabrina – too wrong!
Oscar got his special audience with Sabrina (as the cat).
Not only did Sabrina audibly meow again (seriously – let the woman speak, now that she’s found her vocal cords) – but she seemed to get far too into the stroking for my liking.
That, in itself, wasn’t wrong – but the reaction of all the adult men was odd. Bizarre. Wrong (?)
They basically were basically thinking the equivalent of ‘go on my son! Give her one for me’.
Reminder: Oscar is 14 months …
- And Oscar makes Five
- Clothes?
- Overly confident? Our Lynda???
- Tom’s Sausages to the rescue!
- Helen’s making it up
- “Tom, this is my baby, not one of your sows!”
- Classic Susan and Vicky
- Who mixed up the sheet labels?
- Tom is brilliant at Guitar Heroes
- This is the #sattc
And Oscar makes Five
I know Lynda is a resident that folks either love or loathe – but it’s always nice to hear her so happy about baby Oscar.
Corriander, Justin and Oscar will be with Robert and Lynda tomorrow (weather permitting, surely?!?). Which makes Lynda happy enough to splash out on organic gnocchi and some Borchester Blue for the sauce (my, Helen’s a great saleswoman!).
Maybe Helen will also be glad of their arrival. Coriander seems keen to catch-up with her about all things baby – and Helen could certainly do with more folks who support her without question …
Clothes?
I’m undecided as to whether Helen was offended at Lynda’s mention of Coriander’s offer of some of Oscar’s cast-off baby clothes,
Or, whether Helen hadn’t actually started thinking about clothes yet.
Surely it can’t be the latter?
Overly confident? Our Lynda???
[Lynda] “One doesn’t like to jinx things by being overly confident”
No, we could never accuse Lynda of such an attitude.
After all, just look at the buffoons she’s got to work with …
It was seemingly the “tech” rehearsal tonight, but we didn’t get to eavesdrop in.
I wonder whether Harry and Fallon have practised ‘that’ kiss yet.
Tom’s Sausages to the rescue!
Remembering that she still has a son, Pat tells Tom about the recent spat between Tony and Helen.
Pat thinks Helen isn’t responding to Tony because Helen thinks it’s actually not Tony trying to make amends – that it’s Pat pushing Tony to do so.
My. How the trust has been broken.
[Pat] “It’d be ridiculous if it wasn’t so sad”
So Plan D is Pat sending Tom over to Helen’s to try and make sure she will be joining the family for Christmas eve.
Ahem! Tom’s not exactly known for his tact and diplomacy.
BUT, he actually does the trick.
Well, nearly.
Tom does manage to persuade Helen to be at Bridge Farm for Christmas Eve (“just do it for mum”), but she’s now refusing to stay over.
Ah well. Looks like the whole Bridge Farm clan will be making baby steps …
Helen’s making it up
Helen’s not gaining any support for her point of view (amongst us eavesdroppers) by having a very selective view of what happened the other day with Tony. On talking with Tom:
[Tom] “Look Helen, you know he’s rubbish at showing how he feels. He keeps it bottled up.”
[Helen] “Bottled up? Tom, If only! … Practically turned into a slanging match outside the shop”
I am on Helen’s side (mostly) but no. It was not a slanging match. It was you shouting at a rather shell-shocked and upset Tony.
But then again, Helen also explained a bit more about why she’s so upset with Tony:
[Helen] “I’m worrying about it all the time. I wanted a granddad my baby could love … they know when someone doesn’t love them … children somehow believe it’s their fault”
[Tom] “You’re running too far ahead”
[Helen] “You can’t make someone feel something that isn’t there, can you?”
I hate to say this, but Tom does have a point.
Hand up how many of you believe Tony will melt when he sees his first grandchild …
“Tom, this is my baby, not one of your sows!”
Despite Tom actually managing being a successful diplomat for once, his good old self was never far from the surface.
On trying to explain to Helen that he’s also had problems with Tony, he used the example of when they fell out over him moving his pigs to home farm:
[Tom] “I’ve done my fair share of biting my tongue over his comments”
[Helen] “Tom, this is my baby, not one of your sows!”
Whoops!
Classic Susan and Vicky
(talking about Susan’s Christmas Eve party)
[Vicky] “There’s nothing like a party to kick-start the Christmas season”
[Susan] “It’s not that kind of party”
[Vicky] “There’s only one sort of party, isn’t there?”
[Susan] “I suppose it depends on the circles you mix in”
(on dismissing Vicky’s intelligence that the supermarket has some rather nifty party food)
[Susan]” …I’m serving canapés … and I’m making them all myself … it’s the sort of thing Brian and Jennifer expect”
Hang on.
Haven’t we been here before?
Susan tries out an overambitious new recipe. Which was always bound to go wrong. Just before Brian and Jennifer arrive.
You’d think Susan would learn.
Who mixed up the sheet labels?
Just as Pat’s packing Tom off to do Tony’s job, she gets a call from Lynda about a slight yoghurt issue.
It turns out that the Strawberry was raspberry.
With the bigger problem being that where one has been incorrectly labelled, there will be others.
I think this was one more problem too many for Pat. She marched through to the diary – demanded of Vicky and Susan to work out what had gone wrong – then was rather harsh with Vicky when they all worked out it was probably her fault.
Vicky hadn’t checked the label sheets as she was using them, plus hadn’t been wearing her glasses.
But isn’t Vicky new on the job? And why was the labels mixed up in the first place?
Either way, Vicky’s made a mistake, but it was purely human error. And her glasses were new and rubbing her.
As Pat then found out Vicky’s mistake had gone on Underwoods stock as well as Ambridge Organics, she flatly (and rudely) turns down Vicky’s offer to drive through rush hour with new stock.
[Pat] “Oh that would look good, wouldn’t it! Sending someone else to do my apologising for me. I’ll have to do it myself. I really could have done without this!”
Step back, ladies and gentleman. She’s goanna blow!
Tom is brilliant at Guitar Heroes
(that should actually read ‘Tom proclaims himself to be brilliant at Guitar Heroes’)
At least he is getting out of the house. And, from what Tom was saying, it seems Harry’s becoming a bit more relaxed about having the ‘lads’ over.
Question is – has anyone (anywhere) seen Brenda lately?!?
The #sattc has happened. Did you miss it?
(sattc is Twitter shorthand for the Shaking Ambridge to the Core, regarding the seemingly big happening of Jan ’11. I still have no idea how the BBC can predict such things …)
(Tom and Pat talking about Helen coming home for Christmas)
[Pat] "She’s not staying over?”"
[Tom] “I tried but she just wants her own space”
[Pat] “I wish she and your father could put it all behind them … it’s horrible … I hate to think of her waking up on her own on Christmas day”
[Tom] “If she does, remember it’s the last time she’ll have too. All being well, she’d be hanging up a little stocking and be waking up at the crack of dawn”
The shock! The Horror!
Tom Archer.
Said something.
That’s kind, thoughtful and wise …
(I’m off to lie down in a dark room)
