The Archers Friday 8th April 2011: Lynda strongly dislikes Hilary Noakes

click the 'read more' link below the bullet points to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

• “I’m starting to see what Kathy’s up against”
• Money, flattery, a car AND Elizabeth open to suggestions
• Lucky escape for Jim
• Experience Vs Cockatoos
• Work permit?

“I’m starting to see what Kathy’s up against”

I do have a soft spot for Jolene, but part of me is starting to think she deserves to be taught a lesson by Jamie.

She has been quite uncaring about Kathy’s feelings – especially considering the ‘special’ history Jolene has of stealing Kathy’s menfolk.

Jolene hasn’t tried to help Kathy in getting Jamie back home (or at least talking to her).

So it’s karma that she’s now facing the same problems with Jamie that Kathy had to cope with. Staying out. Slipping school. Pretending to study.

Jolene and Fallon's approach to Jamie is the soft side of marshmallows. Every time
they try to bring him back into line, he gets stroppy, throws in a bit of emotional blackmail, and they cave:

[Fallon] “No one’s going to force you to do anything”

[Jamie] “Good. Because you can’t”

Or rather, they won’t.

So, despite very slight efforts to try and get Jamie to go back home, looks like they have him for keeps.

Or until he does start stealing from The Bull.



Money, flattery, a car AND Elizabeth open to suggestions

Roy is a lucky, lucky boy indeed!

He’s going to think about Elizabeth’s job offer over the weekend, but he was later very distracted and quiet when sitting near Lynda while she was talking at him.

Second thoughts? Too much responsibility? Or the weight of knowledge that Caroline and Oliver are going to be very, very disappointed.


Lucky escape for Jim

[Jim] “I’ve finally managed to escape … the massed ranks of baby worshippers”

Susan has now gone into overdrive about Emma’s giving birth to baby Girl Grundy. She seemingly has the village shop plastered with baby pictures.

Still quite perplexed that Susan wouldn’t leave her Post Officer during the birth …



Experience Vs Cockatoos

Lynda is exceedingly put out at the list of candidates for the Parish Council elections.

She has assumed that the obvious folks would get the obvious positions.
Infact, she assumed that no-one beyond the obvious would even dare to stand.

[Jim] “The list of candidates were something of a surprise”

[Lynda] “Indeed. How did I not have seen this coming?”

[Jim] “A question the noble Caesar himself might well have asked. And plenty of politicians before him. And since”

[Jim] “Eight candidates for six places. It’s almost un heard of in a parish council election in this village”

Jim’s rationale that it was great to see such local interest in local democracy just made Lynda even more furious.

[Lynda] “Local? Hilary Noakes and Richard Thwaite, they’ve only lived here 5 minutes … recent arrivals … upstarts … don’t you dare defend them .. .I blame you”

Lynda reckons it’s Jim’s fault that Richard Thwaite has been inspired by Jim’s choice for the Book Club.

Well, I suppose The Ghost is a political thriller. See here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ghost_%28novel%29

[Lynda] “He’ll have his work cut out against seasoned campaigners”

But don’t let Lynda’s bluster fool you. She is worried that she might lose the election:

[Lynda] "Hilary Noakes has been worming her way into village life ... all about gaining a footprint in the local community”

But lest we forget that Hilary Noakes has a cockatoo up her sleeve …



Work permit?

I didn’t realise youngsters needed a work permit to work. Sounds a tad draconian – especially when it’s just a young chap working in the pub he already lives above.

Jolene and Fallon have agreed that Jamie can work in the pub while he’s on holiday, but only as serving staff.

But, for Jamie to work, he has to have a work permit signed by Kathy.

So he finally calls her, and meets her next to a river to ask.

Which was a tad cruel, as Kathy thought it was a lovely spot for them to be able to sit and talk through their problems. It just like someone inviting their partner out to a nice meal, only to dump them.

[Jamie] “Look mum, I texted you because I had to!”

Well done Jamie – that’s exactly how you should go about asking someone for a favour. Be rude and berate them first!

He wasn’t exactly sweet talking his mum, at a time when he’s been downright horrible to her.

Kathy said she’d think about. She had previously stopped him working at the Golf Course during his studying, so chances are she should still tell him no.

But will Kathy cave, in an attempt to try and get back onto a good footing with Jamie?

The Archers Tues 22nd March 2011: Gardeners’ Question Time AND the first Book Club

• Gardeners’ Question Time
• Hello Christine!
• “Roy is a treasure”
• Nigel and Topper – picture perfect
• No grazing allowed at the Book Blub
• “What’s under that there foil there, Caroline Sterling?”
• Can’t afford books??????????
• “Little Drummer boy died of his wounds an’ all”
• “Cheer up Nathan Booth”
• Joe enjoyed, Usha not so
• Sabrina’s “paucity of intellectual rigour”
• What will Jim choose?
• ‘That’ statue

Gardeners’ Question Time

Might be coming to Ambridge.

Steady on there! Camilla, possibly some hat woman AND Gardeners’ Question Time.

Makes one hope that loads are not being blown too soon …

No mention of exactly when, but they seemingly need the village hall from 12pm-2pm.

Ah – anticipation.



Hello Christine!

It’s been an age – so lovely to hear Christine again.

It was she who Jim had to race round to in order to check if the village hall would be free for Gardeners’ Question Time.

Christine mentioned that it was Phil who had first asked Gardeners’ Question Time to come to Ambridge.

(pause … sigh … lovely, lovely Phil)


“Roy is a treasure”

So says Elizabeth to Caroline.

Funny how suddenly Elizabeth feels less stressed now that Roy is on-hand – just goes to how that Farmer David’s intentions were good, but not really up to the job at hand.

Still, Elizabeth does sound in far better form, even though Lily is still having nightmares.

[Elizabeth] “The device has given me new confidence, and I’m being waited on hand and foot”

Nigel and Topper – picture perfect

To ease the Twins’ sadness at having to lose Topper (and, ahem, their dad), Caroline has framed a seemingly superb picture of Nigel and Topper.

Nigel’s holding the Stirrup Cup, and is “looking mischievous”.



No grazing allowed at the Book Blub

Usha’s being strict with her cultural endeavours – the Book Club shall break for nibbles, rather than be allowed to munch during the discussion. Avoids “greasy marks” on the book, you see …

Jennifer couldn’t be there (and Jim was surprised to learn she is a published author), and neither could Ruth (she never sounded that keen in the first place, and now wants to clean before Home farm’s cleaner comes to Brookfield to clean).

But Caroline, Jim, Richard Thwaite (Usha, of course) are all at the inaugural meeting.

As is Jim and Nathan Booth …



“What’s under that there foil there, Caroline Sterling?”

As suspected yesterday when Joe’s ears perked up at Robert Snell’s mention of nibbles and wine at the Book Club – Joe’s invited himself along.

He’s joined by a Nathan Booth, very keen to see Sabrina.

(one would have thought he’d been able to see enough of Sabrina in her cat show during the Panto to provide him with enough pleasurable memories for the next decade!).

And the answer to Joe’s question to Caroline – leftover canapés …


Can’t afford books??????????

Joe reckons he hasn’t read the book for the Book Club as he can’t afford books.

Have all the Borchester libraries already shut for good?

He later went onto say that he might get it on tape (if he can).

Why not just ask Clarrie to read it aloud while she’s clipping your toenails?




“Little Drummer boy died of his wounds an’ all”

As the group is getting into meaningful discussion about the murder (in The Suspicions of Mr Whicher – which I do highly recommend) was so shocking because it was middle class etc. etc. , Joe jumps in to ramble on about the Little Drummer Boy.

For those who don’t know it – he was shot by a round head musket, or an Irish one, the battle of Hassett Bridge on 14th June, he staggered to The Bull but died, then June 14th 1995 a cannon ball was hurled into The Bull, followed by a Tap, Tap Tap Tappity Tap Tap from the wall – the very next week Sid opened the Hassett room in the Drummer Boy’s memory.

What’s that got to do with the topic at hand, Joe only knows!


“Cheer up Nathan Booth”

[Joe] “Cheer up Nathan Booth, it’s time for the nibbles”

And that was really all there was to cheer up poor Nathan.

[Joe] “Nathan Booth is a very disappointed man. He only showed up on the promise of Sabrina Thwaite coming … got a crush on her see. He don’t get to meet many women, socially”

Maybe Harry could help Nathan learn to use the internet.

I’ve said it before about our single Ambridge residents – dating websites …


Joe enjoyed, Usha not so

[Joe] “A nice social occasion with the grub and that Them canapés was past their best, mind …”

[Usha] “Oh the cheek of him … I don’t know who invited Joe, I certainly didn’t””

Jim relates that it was Robert’s fault for Joe being there – but he own fault for a scowling Nathan’s presence. It was he who mentioned Sabrina.

Though Usha thinks it was a disaster, Jim’s quick to correct her.

[Jim] “It went very well. No, you’ve heralded something culturally rather interesting for Ambridge”

Cripes!



Sabrina’s “paucity of intellectual rigour”

[Jim] “Then I made an ironic comment saying I could only hope Sabrina would join as well, if only to enrich her mind, Usha. She has such a paucity of intellectual rigour, I dread doing a shift with her in the shop”

Meow, Mr Lloyd. Me-ow!


What will Jim choose?

Usha is normally quite an astute lady – why did she give the next book choice to Jim?

He might surprise us all with Angela’s Ashes (or the like), but it’s a bit of a gamble for only the second meeting.

[Jim] “Ah,. Don’t you worry. I’m still cogitating. It’s going to be a hard one though, when you consider the legions of classic books so dear to my heart”

Hmmm.


‘That’ statue

[Joe] “Nice Indian Statue in the living room, by the way”

[Usha] “Thank you, not everyone thinks it”

Considering Usha and Shula actually spoke (and were civil) to each other just after Nigel died – I wonder if more is yet to come about the statue?

It’s been a fair while.

The Archers Sun 27th Feb 2011: David forgets the by-pass tap

• He’s lying
• It is worth crying over contaminated milk
• What wintering ducks are left?
• Will the papers force Helen back to Bridge farm?
• Kirsty’s not the maternal type
• Emma’s not the bookish type
• Helen’s now not interested in stew packs and spices
• Ruth can apply a docking ring without falling over

He’s lying

David, David, David … when are you going to learn?

You were nice to let Ruth have a longer sleep (by starting the milking), but why did you then pretend to Ruth that all was in hand with Elizabeth?

You didn’t even have the conversation with her that you promised you would (to Ruth).

And giving Elizabeth yet another excuse for not hiring in a professional manager (Elizabeth can’t focus because of the coroner letter) isn’t going to wash with Ruth anymore.

Why make it harder on yourself? Just be honest with Ruth. She’ll work it out in the end anyway … your absence will speak volumes.


It is worth crying over contaminated milk

David’s tired, stressed and rushing – so has made yet another mistake at Brookfield.

This time, he didn’t switch the bypass on – which meant that all of the milk from this morning, and from last night, was contaminated with dirty water.

And Ruth most definitely isn’t a happy chappy.

[Ruth] “You’re over at Lower Loxley everyday no matter what I say”

[David] “What she’s going through … every time I see her, she’s in so much pain”

David sees it as a “question of timing”. Ruth sees it as a question of David doing the best thing for both his family and for Elizabeth – by letting go of his guilt, and letting Elizabeth stop being so dependent on him.

[Ruth] “So, how do we wait? Until you’ve wrecked everything here …”

Hopefully not Ruth, but goodness knows when David will take back control of his own life.

As Ruth later said to Usha:

[Ruth] “He needs to stop his heart ruling his head … we can’t cope with him being part-time here any longer ... he’s making things worse for Elizabeth – how’s she ever going to face reality again?”

What wintering ducks are left?

Kirsty mentioned that she and Patrick were off to see – but I doubt we’ll hear more about it.

*sigh*

It’s those all too important moments which some hidden microphones cannot reach …


Will the papers force Helen back to Bridge farm?

Seemingly Helen’s losing sleep over noise from downstairs, as well as due to Henry.

How the volunteers in the village shop can be so noisy over newspapers, one can only hazard a guess.

But I wonder if it’ll be Jim Lloyd et al who will encourage Helen on her way back ‘home’ …



Kirsty’s not the maternal type

Or that is at least what it sounded like when Helen left her with Henry.



Emma’s not the bookish type

Bless Usha for having open enough a mind to even think of asking Emma if she wanted to join the book club.

Seems that Richard Thwaite and Caroline have also joined. Sabrina must be still trying to get out of her cat suit, and goodness knows where Oliver’s gone to.

Their first book is The Suspicions of Mr Whicher (which I also highly recommend), but that didn’t seem to entice Emma.

[Emma] “I don’t see the point of sitting around and talking about it afterwards … too much like school, takes all the fun out if it”

Which is fair enough. Emma always struck me as more of a Hello reader …


Helen’s now not interested in stew packs and spices

She’s barely got Henry back from hospital – but now Kirsty is also trying to get her back into work mode (as well as Tony the other day).

I suppose they’re all starting to realise how much work Helen did. It’s all fine and good telling someone to take it easy, but harder to cope without them.

Kirsty has some new ideas, but Helen really couldn’t give a hoot.

She even took it as far to tell Kirsty just to crack on:

[Helen] “Plough right on and see what happens”

And nor was she interested in new salad grower.

Cripes!

All Helen wanted to look at, talk about and think about was Henry.

Ah – there’s a typical new mum for you.

[Helen] “I want to show you his bath mitt – pink sponge hippopotamus – perfect for getting behind his ears – you’ll love it!”

*yawn*


Ruth can apply a docking ring without falling over

On yersel!