Pondering The Archers: lily pargetter

Actually, I wonder if Scottish schools still do Scottish dancing as part of gym, as mine did.

Though you never wanted to touch your dance partner’s hand, it held us all in good stead for weddings and the like.

Lilian makes Whitby sound more alluring than New York

I didn’t think that would be possible!

Lilian sounds very down. She can’t pretend to muster much excitement for her “festive” Christmas, and New York was a very dour “marvelous”.

Everyone seems to think Whitby will be horrific in January (Lilian and Peggy leave for Whitby on Wednesday)

[Matt] “The wind will be whistling in from Siberia”

But Lilian knows what she’s doing. Her and Peggy’s hotel is a spa hotel.

Tom didn’t even get the tea bags

Tom went into the village shop to get tea bags, but Jim was serving/

When Tom got to paying for his tea bags.

[Tom] “Put my tea bags on the counter, offered Jim a fiver, but he just ignored it.”

Seems Jazzer’s warning to Jim that Tom was furious meant Jim was more interested in explaining to Tom why he’d written an article about Chris.

Seems Chris was more befitting to Borchester Life … especially as his workplace is more “picturesque”. Tom hasn’t quite got the same artisan workplace:

[Tom] “Which he referred to as my sausage factor.”

Ach well Tom.

When someone else is right, they’re right!

Freddie got gel from Josh for Christmas

Seems his hair was very noticeably gelled up.

Kirsty did go the ball

Seems Kirsty was quite nervous about going to the Lower Loxley New Year ball.

[Kirsty] “It’s the first time I’ve been to a proper, grown-up ball. No-one’s ever asked me before.”

Aw!

Matt reckons Lilian’s The Bell of the Ball

Matt and Lilian are also at Lower Loxley.

He’s having a grand time. And is full of compliments for Lilian.

[Matt] “We make a lovely couple … not just on the dance floor.”

I don’t think, somehow, that Matt will be as chirpy as 2013 unfolds …

“The best Christmas yet for sausages”

Poor Brenda. She really can’t take Tom out anywhere!

After he starts talking shop, Brenda goes off dancing with Ifty.

[Kirsty] “That’s what talking about sausages does for you. Your girlfriends goes off with another man!”

Tom’s bringing on middle age

[Kirsty] “You always used to enjoy being drunk and raucous … oh dear, you don’t think you might be getting middle aged before you’re time. You’re not eyeing up cardigans?”

Tom reckons not, but also reckons he’s happy to be settled. Wants to be married, Have kids, and the like.

[Tom]”If that’s being middle aged, well, bring it on!”

Hmmm.

Think Tom should check if Brenda agrees?

I’m telling you … Ifty and Elizabeth ….

Kirsty sounded quite jealous of Tom being so settled. She doesn’t feel she has her future planned, or her ‘forever’ partner.

Ifty’s a nice chap, but:

[Kirsty] “I’m not sure that he’s husband material.”

Whereas …

Elizabeth couldn’t find Freddie. Ifty suggested the stables, which is exactly where Freddie and one of his wee pals were.

Elizabeth gives herself a hard time for panicking. She just can’t help herself.

[Elizabeth] “The thing is, it’s been two years now since Nigel dies. I should be getting used to it.”

[Ifty] “Why? … that’s just an average, it doesn’t work for everyone.”

Seems Elizabeth still thinks of “what Nigel would say” all of the time, and thinks he wouldn’t forgive her if anything happens to their kids.

She also thinks Nigel would have known where to look for Freddie … which is just what Ifty was able to do.

Odds on a romance between Ifty and Elizabeth …

A’ the best for 2013!

We didn’t get to hear the bells come in Ambridge (well, it has happened yet).

But I’d just like to wish everyone a healthy and happy 2013.

Cheers!
Inga

Sunday, 30 September 2012

Mike’s depressed: Mon 03.09.12

The Archers Monday 3rd September 2012

[Joe] “Curries don’t come natural to you, Clarrie”
It’s Grundy Turkey time!
The men get baking bread
Comedians aren’t what they used to be
Grundys don’t cry
Lily’s not amused with Freddie
Roy tries to get Mike to talk

[Joe] “Curries don’t come natural to you, Clarrie”

Seems Clarrie feels she was out of her comfort zone making curries out of the wild boar meat. Joe reckons everyone who ate it was out of their comfort zone as well …

So the Grundys are still trying to eat their way through that boar. Seems it’s not going well.

[Joe] “Even Edward and Emma won’t touch no more. You’d think free food'd be a godsend on their money.”

Some sort of Christmas scam ahoy?

It’s Grundy Turkey time!

Must mean Christmas is on the way … *groan*.

Though Joe may make a few pennies from the turkeys, he doesn’t seem to respect their intellectual abilities.

[Joe] “Surprises me Turkey's ever found their way onto the ark.”

The men get baking bread

Seems Bert and Derek are going to have a go for the Flower and Produce Show, though everyone thinks Bert’s will be made by Freda.

That’s cheeky.

I’m sure Bert will play fair and square. As always .

Comedians aren’t what they used to be

Joe’s not impressed with Tug Fowler’s forthcoming appearance at The Bull.

[Joe] “He won’t be no good. Not like the comics we used to get in Borchester before telly spoiled everything.”

Blimey.

Joe’s a right barrel of laughs today.

Grundys don’t cry

So reckons Eddie.

He’s meant to be looking after George while he and Eddie have a natter.

George falls down. But gets up again.

[Eddie] “Not a whimper out of him. A proper little Grundy.”

Lily’s not amused with Freddie

Since Freddie broke his collar bone falling off of Topper, he’s been driving Lily to distraction.

[Lily] “Freddie thinks he’s a pharaoh giving everyone orders”

[Freddie] “I’d tell them to bury you alive.”

[Lily] “White and dark chocolate, just for a normal tea!”

In Lily’s humble opinion, Freddie’s only hurt because Freddie is an “idiot”.

[Lily] “ … he’ll come creeping to me to do his maths homework. And science … I’m just sick of everyone pretending he’s a hero. He nearly did something horrible to us … we’ve had too many accidents already. I can’t stand anymore … Freddie should grow up, he shouldn’t have been on Topper.”

Elizabeth tells Lily that it was her (Elizabeth’s) fault. Which is more than she said to Shula.

[Elizabeth] “That’s life. Sometimes accidents just happen.”

Really?

Not Freddie’s fault for riding Topper? Or, more importantly, Elizabeth’s for letting him?

Funny Elizabeth doesn’t seem to have heard anything Shula said to her.

Roy tries to get Mike to talk

Roy corners Mike in the dairy. He’s seen the signs before – Mike not talking to anyone, doing anything other than work. He thinks Mike is heading for another depression.

[Mike] “I am depressed. But it ain't the wheels coming off. I’ve got every reason.”

Mike tells Roy about his and Vicky’s baby being diagnosed with Down’s Syndrome.

[Mike] “They say it’s probably a woman’s age, but what if … what if it’s me Roy. I’m a good bit older … I’ve seen it in a herd. There’s a right time for it. Then it’s too late …”

Mike tells Roy he wants to talk to Vicky, but Vicky won’t be open to discussing anything other than them having them having the baby. Mike needs to talk through the options.

So – Mike needs to talk, Vicky needs to talk but neither of them can do so until the other accepts what the other needs.

tricky.

Mike also asks Roy to tell Brenda.

Here’s hoping the family can help bring Mike and Vicky back together.

Sunday, 26 August 2012

Shula has a Funday … the Tuckers not so: Sun 26.08.12

The Archers Sunday 26th August 2012

The lady ain’t for gardening
Shula’s Funday
Still laughing at the Grundys
Don’t get between a man and his dairy magazines
Elizabeth expects Lilly to think she’s better?
I still think Alistair can help with Reg and Bunty

The lady ain’t for gardening
Mike’s been flicking through the Flower & Produce Show schedule. He wondered aloud to Vicky about whether she’s going to enter anything, considering she enjoyed it so much last year.

(*sigh* Mike seems to have lost all his tact)

[Vicky] “It hasn’t even crossed my mind, and I certainly amn’t going to be doing any gardening.”

Shula’s Funday

Was, obviously, horse related.

Elizabeth and the Twins certainly had a grand time.

They both took part in the racing games.

[Freddie] “I like the way the fences go higher every round.”

Abbie and Phoebe were also there, though Roy is cautious about Abbie seeming to get more and more Roy into horses. That would be too expensive a hobby.

Still laughing at the Grundys

[Roy] “And I can assure you it is pork, not wild boar … I hear the Grundy’s are overdosing on it a bit, eating it every meal.”

[Mike] “Oh yeah, you don’t want to get Joe Grundy on the results, I can tell you that.”

Ew!

Don’t get between a man and his dairy magazines

During Sunday lunch, Roy and Hayley are caught between Mike and Vicky

Vicky wants to start buying more baby stuff.

[Mike] “Oh Vicky, surely not yet!”

Mike claims he just meant that they have months and months to go, but what he really meant was they don’t know the results of the tests yet … so they don’t know what their decision would be ‘if’ … and that means there’s no point having baby clothes. Yet.

Vicky then starts talking about clearing out their spare room (which is would seem Mike sees as his study, where he goes to stew). She seems to suggest Mike’s diary magazines are just rubbish …

[Mike] “Why do you have to go at it like a bull at a gate?”

[Hayley, sounding very uncomfortable] “It’s the nesting instinct …Forces of nature, they can be difficult to deal with.”

After Vicky and Mike leave (obviously to continue their argument, finally in private)

[Hayley] “Wasn’t exactly a perfect Sunday dinner, was it?”

[Roy] “It was a bit …”

[Hayley] “Awkward.”

[Roy] “A baby, it’s a huge think to come to terms with, especially at their age of life, especially dad …”

Elizabeth expects Lilly to think she’s better?
Sounded like it.

Almost as if Elizabeth also thinks Lilly is better …

At Sheila’s Funday:

[Lilly] “Freddie’s a natural.”

[Elizabeth] “Very generous of you to say so.”

Eh?

What an odd way to talk to a child.

But then again, it is Elizabeth.

I still think Alistair can help with Reg and Bunty

Shula still has to go over to Reg and Bunty’s house every week. Bunty is better, but they still need help.

[Shula] “And I can’t ask Alistair to do anything, my first husband’s parents.”

Well, I don’t see why not.

It’s not as if Mark is around to be an alternative to Alistair for Shula.

Alistair seems to cope with Mark and Shula’s son in his life quite nicely.

Anyhoo – Shula wants Reg and Bunty to move into somewhere more “appropriate”.

[Shula] “They get so defensive. It’s like I’m farming them out to a home.”

[Elizabeth] “It makes me realise how lucky we were with Julia.”

Which, Elizabeth says herself, is something she never thought she’d say outloud!

As much work as Julia was, at least she was independent and healthy. Until she died.

Reg and Bunty, on the other hand, can only get worse until a solution is found.

Saturday, 3 March 2012

Lily’s a bell ringer 01.03.12

The Archers Thursday 1st March 2012

Neil’s teaching Lily to bell ring
Silly us … it’s all about Elizabeth
Tony’s warmed by truce with Jennifer
Tom visits Tony
Tracey’s smoking in the kitchen
Laughing at Susan

Neil’s teaching Lily to bell ring

She seems quite keen.

Neil tells her to look straight ahead, not at the ceiling, and to do a backstroke 9though not of the swimming variety). Then there was something about the Sally (the fluffy stripped but), and both of them pulling on the strokes.

(no inappropriate jokes, please)

Neil reckons Lily has a “natural feel” as a bell ringer. And even gives her a go on one that hasn’t got its clanger tied up.

[Lily] “I’m a real bell ringer!”

Wonder how long this fad will last …

Silly us … it’s all about Elizabeth

Neil was telling Elizabeth about how he’s been helping Jazzer with the pigs while Tony is in hospital.

[Neil] “As far as I can tell, they’re getting by, but it must be a struggle”

Elizabeth tells him she’ll be off to see Tony today.

[Elizabeth] “Well as it happens, I do know my way round the coronary unit”

Of course! Just in case we forget that Elizabeth has heart problems too …

Tony’s warmed by truce with Jennifer

[Tony] “It’s a great weight off my mind too .. if it lasts … Grow up and start behaving like sensible adults again. At least there’s one good thing to come out of this”

True.

But will it last? Especially with the Super Dairy ever looming ...

Tom visits Tony

Tom’s been hiding behind farm work – he’s avoiding going to see Tony in hospital (the guilt is too much).

Tony asks Helen to ask Tom if he’ll come to see him.

Helen delivers the message to Tom, but Tom isn’t sure.

But the guilt steps to one side for a second to go and see his dad.

They chat about bulling and AI, then Tony thanks Tom for his “quick thinking” and for using his head.

[Tony] “Saved my life. No two ways about it.; So, all in all, I’ve got a lot to be thankful for.”

[Tom] “I guess it’s lucky I came back out to the parlour when I did … all those things I said to you …”

[Tony] “It doesn’t matter now. Ancient history. I really don’t want to talk about it”

With Tony also having made up with Jennifer, it really is happy families with the side of the Archer clan.

Now, if David and Elizabeth can make up … hmmm, unlikely.

Tracey’s smoking in the kitchen

And is well settled into living at Bert’s (well, it’s her house as well. Not that anyone apart from her and Bert know that).

Neil also mentioned that she was also constantly “missing” about with something.

Did anybody make out what?

Laughing at Susan

[Tony] “So, come on then, entertain me, what’s all the news . .did I dream this, or did someone tell me Susan Carter is giving up gossip … for her, that must be like making a vow of silence .. .Clarrie,. oh blimey, it’s going to be quiet around the village”

[Tom] “Walk into the shop and you’ll hear …”

[Tony] “ … absolutely nothing!”

Saturday, 7 January 2012

Tom wants to breed 03/01/12

The Archers Tuesday 3rd January 2012

Emma’s in a catty mood
Clarrie is unaware of the cake swap
Tom wants a baby
Cheerio Patsy!
“Bloomin’ badgers”
Debbie spots an opportunity
Pork saves Brenda
Lily ‘gets’ Pantos
Debbie and Elizabeth make friends

Emma’s in a catty mood

She didn’t rate Henry’s birthday party – it was too noisy for Keira (so they had to leave before the cake).

And she also didn’t rate Nic and Will’s wedding. Now there’s a surprise …

[Emma] “I didn’t think much of the breakfast … well it was just that wasn’t it. Breakfast. The sort of thing you can have any day”

But Clarrie spoke up for Nic and Will. She had chuffed to have had eggs benedict, which she’d never had before.

As Clarrie is wondering just how much of a marvellous time Will and Nic are having on their honeymoon, she’s ignoring Emma trying to tell her how to look after Keira.

[Clarrie] “Leave her to me, Emma, I have brought up babies of my own, you know!”

Clarrie is unaware of the cake swap

George mentioned he had sponge cake at the wedding, which Clarrie was surprised about. But she still didn’t twig that anything had changed with the wedding cake – she just thought they must have made a separate sponge for the kids.

Looks like Caroline and Ian have got away with it …

(so most kids hate fruit cake?)

Tom wants a baby

But he has to first get Brenda to concur.

[Tom] “You know what Bren. For the first time, I’m starting to feel that maybe I’m ready to be a dad”

[Brenda, a bit shocked] “Oh … Henry’s gorgeous, I grant you, but the trouble with babies you never know what you’re going to get, You much end up with Keira … I can’t help noticing, you’ve suddenly got interested in babies ever since you discovered that John had a son”

Which Tom denies. He reckons it’s because of being with Henry.

[Tom] “Babies can be fun!”

[Brenda] “In small doses …”

Cheerio Patsy!

Ruth’s delighted that Emma’s returned to clean at Brookfield. It’s meant the “dreaded” Patsy won’t be terrorising her anymore. Seems Patsy was a great cleaner, but Ruth felt the need to tidy up before she arrived …

“Bloomin’ badgers”

So reckons Ruth.

She’s on about the slurry lagoon again, and how much it’s going to cost to fix.

And they also haven’t been doing their NVZ (Nitrate Vulnerable Zones) records properly. Which could get them into trouble with the Environment Agency.

They surely can’t blame the badgers for their sloppy paperwork?

Debbie spots an opportunity

Though Adam still isn’t being “friendly” to Debbie, and while Brian reckons that they not exactly inundated with arable farmers wanting to supply their Super Dairy (seems Pete Wilkes, Spencer’s dad, has pulled out. Something to do with Pip?), Debbie brightens up when she hears the news from Brookfield.

[Brian] “There’s a distinct possibility they might be going out of milk”

[Debbie] “Well, in the case, perhaps they might like to reconsider your offer … or raise heifers for us”

Brian doesn’t sound so sure they’ll have changed their attitude about working with the Super Dairy.

It’s a bit of a shock to see Debbie being so callous … one would almost be forgiven for thinking Brian’s her dad.

Pork saves Brenda

Tom’s back from his meeting with a development chef at HEFF (Heart of England Fine Foods). He’s quite excited.

While it seems that his idea of making pork pies is not a goer (too competitive a market), he’s now thinking of readymade pork meals.

Sausage casserole, pork stroganoff, pork lasagne …

[Tom] “Anything's worth a try. Experiment. Pork goulash., Pork cobbler. See what works”

HEFF will help Tom develop the meals, and also take them to focus groups (and the like).

[Tom] “This could move the Tom Archer brand into the premiership!”

Brenda spots her chance. She lays it on thick about how she believes in Tom and his potential. But, all of this will take a lot of hard work.

[Brenda] “So maybe not the best time to think about having babies, right?”

[Tom] “Well … okay. Maybe we should wait a year or two”

Phew!

But I’m still wondering why them getting married hasn’t been mentioned. This is turning out to be a very long engagement.

Think they’ve just forgotten?

Lily ‘gets’ Pantos

Elizabeth and Lily are talking about all of the pantos that Lily has been to, though she was too young to remember a lot of them properly.

[Lily] “So I have seen quite a lot … and I think I understand what it is that makes a panto work”

Good-o.

That Lily can be a bit strange.

When Debbie comes in to see Elizabeth:

[Lily] “Do you want to talk to mum … that’s good, if she has someone to talk to, I can get on with my review”

Lily is either old beyond her years, or a bit creepy …

Debbie and Elizabeth make friends

Debbie apologies to Elizabeth for overreacting to Elizabeth’s comment about Ruairi at the panto, and Elizabeth apologises for having mentioned him looking like Siobhan in the first place.

[Elizabeth] “I knew perfectly well how you felt about Siobhan, and to bring her up like that …”

[Debbie] “I was horribly insensitive, and you’re right, he does look like his mother”

[Elizabeth] “Your mum has been amazing. I didn’t mean to belittle what she’s done”

[Debbie] “If she can be so generous and forgiving and accept Ruari into her life and love him, like her own child, then, how can I have let this drag on for nearly ten years … I’m so sorry, particularly this last year, with what you’ve had to bear … I should have been … I should have made more of an effort. I should have been there for you”

[Elizabeth, sobbing] “You're here now, I can’t tell you what that means to me. That we’re friends again”

Ah, that’s nice.

Elizabeth does need all the friends she can get. And so will Debbie, once word about the Super Dairy gets out …

A year on since Nigel 02/01/12

The Archers Monday 2nd January 2012

Helen can spell but might run out of cake
Helen is “tired” again
To the Panto
Memories of Nigel
Elizabeth Vs Debbie continues
Good lord … Tom to procreate?
Tom doesn’t rate Emma
Henry walks!

Helen can spell but might run out of cake

It’s Henry’s first birthday, and his ever delighted mum has made him a cake. It doesn’t sound perfect, but Helen’s not bothered.

[Helen] “This one maybe a bit cockeyed, but by the time he’s about 15 I’ll have got the hang of it”

She certainly wouldn’t have had anything but perfection before this time last year …

When they later come to blowing out the candles, Tom helps Henry do it. Seems he’s already taught Henry how to blow raspberries, so they use that technique on the candles.

Tom and Henry’s spit on the birthday cake.

Nice.

Helen is “tired” again

After Nic and Will’s wedding.

To the Panto

Jill and Elizabeth are at the Panto with Freddie and Lily.

I thought it was odd that Elizabeth was so keen on taking the twins to the panto, but she explains that it was a way of getting them out of the house and to something completely different.

Lily is remembering that Nigel once played a dame. He was Nigella to Nelson Gabriel’s Gabrielle.

When Debbie arrives with Ruairi, she remembers playing Robin Hood in a village panto, with her (now ex) husband playing the Sheriff of Nottingham. She thought that was very apt for Simon Gerrard, in hindsight …

[Debbie] “I always got cast as the man in the village panto”

Which Jill reckons was a result of Debbie being tall.

Anyhoo, seems the kids enjoyed the panto, though:

[Lily] “I thought Prince Charming was a bit soppy”

Memories of Nigel

The Pargetters seem to be coping quite well on the anniversary of Nigel’s death.

Elizabeth tells Jill that the Twins were a bit tearful this morning, especially Freddie. She seems to be a bit tearful herself:

[Elizabeth] “Just sometimes .. I get ambushed by memories … The harder you try not to think about something …”

But she does seem very calm, considering. Her kids are making sure that she keeps on an even keel.

[Jill] “She always seems to know when her mum needs looking after …It might be better if she gave into her feelings a bit more”

Elizabeth Vs Debbie continues

Elizabeth was not at all pleased when Debbie come to the panto with Ruairi.

When Elizabeth later blurts out that she thinks Ruairi looks so like his mother …

[Debbie] “When you said his mother, I though you meant my mother. She’s the one he calls mum. She’s the one he turns to when he’s sad or hurt. I don’t suppose he even remembers … her …”

Debbie spat out that “her”.

If we recall back, Elizabeth was Siobhan’s friend. Looks like Debbie still hasn’t forgiven her for that.

Good lord … Tom to procreate?

Henry’s opening his presents.

[Helen] “You don’t care, do you? You just like playing with the pretty shiny paper”

Henry doesn’t even shown an interest in a wooden truck with red wheels, full of coloured bricks. So Tom starts playing with it to show Henry how marvellous it is.

[Tom] “Being an uncle’s the best fun in the world, you can stop pretending to be a grown up all the time!”

[Helen] “What about being a dad … have you and Brenda thought about having one of your own?”

Tom says he has been thinking about it.

Oh the horror!

Tom doesn’t rate Emma

Helen was talking about herself and Emma going back to work tomorrow.

[Tom] “Work? What work?”

Seems Tom doesn’t think cleaning at Brookfield is proper work.

[Tom] “Not quite as challenging as a full day in Ambridge Organics!”

Henry walks!

And on his first birthday.

Perfectly timed. That boy will go far (especially now he’s mobile!)

Saturday, 31 December 2011

Boxing Day Meet & continued Implosion at Bridge Farm 26/12/11

The Archers Monday 26th December 2011

Freddie’s first Boxing Day Meet
A “Sassenach feast”
The Bridge Farm bust up
Elizabeth and David were in the same room
Alistair got tickets to the Olympics
Bridge Farm bust up round 2
Helen’s for turning

Freddie’s first Boxing Day Meet

Shula’s taking Freddie to the meet, though his thoughts obviously keep drifting onto his dad:

[Freddie] “We had a really good Christmas last year … I wish we could be riding together today”

Freddie said it in quite a happy (ish), fond way. Shula said it was good to have good memories.

Elizabeth and Lily are watching the start of the meet. Elizabeth again can’t believe how much Freddie looks like Nigel when he’s kitted out in his riding gear. Lily is slightly concerned that Freddie will get hurt.

[Elizabeth] “You don’t have to worry. Freddie’s a very good rider”

[Lily] “But he’s such an idiot!”

I learned today that one should call the riders’ coats pink, not red (!). Lily thinks they all look very smart, and that the hounds are “cut”.

[Lily] “I still don’t like the idea of them killing the fox, though”

[Elizabeth] “They’re not allowed to anymore, that’s what he was explaining, they’re just following a scent … you take after grandma, she’s never approved of hunting either”

[Lily] “I don’t understand why daddy did, he loved animals”

[Elizabeth] “It was the riding he liked really, between you and me, he used to be quite glad when the fox got away, but don’t tell Oliver”

A “Sassenach feast”

Pardon me? What is Helen on about?

[Helen to Tom] “I thought Jazzer didn’t mind doing the Christmas shift since he considers it such a Sassenach feast”

[Tom] “Well, that’s what he says but it never seems to stop him celebrating it”

Pardon moi? Since when did any Scot consider Christmas an English thing? I think you’ll find that Christianity first came to the Isles at Whithorn in Dumfries and Galloway, and Iona.

That aside, Jazzer is also dodging feeding Tom’s pigs as he reckons he has to put the finishing touches to his Christmas around the World song. We still don’t know what it is …

The Bridge Farm bust up

Seems there was a huge row at Bridge Farm after they turned off the secret microphones. The kids aren’t speaking to the parents. Seems Helen left Bridge Farm with Tom and Brenda yesterday.

[Helen] “I can’t trust myself around mum and dad at the moment”

[Tom] “I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to trust them again … I don’t know how they have the nerve to even mention that Rich in the same breath as our Henry”

Helen and Tom feel betrayed. That Pat and Tony went behind their backs by contacting Sharon, and also meeting Rich. That they don’t care and they certainly don’t “get it”.

[Helen] “They seemed surprised we were upset”

[Tom] “Unbelievable … what they did, what they’re doing, it has so many implications for you and me and Henry … yet they’re acting as though this is a private matter between them and this Rich … don’t we count anymore? Are we suddenly outside our own family?”

[Helen] “It was awful yesterday, us shouting to mum and dad though a soundproof window and they couldn’t hear me”

[Tom] “They’ve temporarily gone mad. We’ve got to make them see sense, Helen”

The added worry is that Pat and Tony will now do something even crazier … though what, they didn’t say.

Kidnap Rich?

Elizabeth and David were in the same room

Elizabeth and the twins “didn’t have a too bad” Christmas day. They were with Shula, Alistair and Daniel at the Stables during the day, and did go to Kenton’s party at The Bull during the evening.

[Elizabeth] “They made it easy for us. David and I were able to steer clear of each other without spoiling anything”

That’s progress, I reckon.

Alistair got tickets to the Olympics

For Shula and Daniel and himself.

They didn’t say what event they’re going to see, but Elizabeth was amazed that he got something in the rather high pressured lottery, and that Alistair didn’t tell them he was successful.

[Elizabeth] “He must be good at keeping secrets”

Hmmm.

Bridge Farm bust up round 2

Tom and Helen Vs. Tony.

[Tony] “Your feelings? I don’t know how you can be so selfish … and what about your mother, have you stopped for one moment to consider what all of this is doing to her?”

[Helen] “Of course we’re thinking about mum”

[Tom] “She doesn’t seem to be thinking much about us …”

[Tony] “Oh grow up Tom! The world doesn’t revolve around you … neither of you have made the slightest effort to see things from her point of view”

Seems Pat is still in her room, sobbing.

[Tom] “For Rich. For this previous grandson that she’s only seen for 10 while minutes”

[Tony] “No … for John … he left something behind, when we thought we’d lost everything about him forever … but you’re here, both of you here, Henry here, and John never will be”

And now Rich has also gone from their lives.

Helen’s for turning

As Tom and Helen talk things through:

[Tom] “It was always going to end in tears”

[Helen] “Once they realised John had a son, they were bound to want to find out more”

[Tom] “Technically, maybe it’s true. But it doesn’t mean anything”

[Helen] “Well, that’s a bit hard”

[Tom] “I’m being realistic Helen, you of all people should understand that … let me ask you a question, do you ever think about Henry’s father?”

[Helen] “No. No I don’t. I’ve kind of forgotten he had one”

[Tom] “We all have. He’s ours now, the next Archer”

[Helen] “I see what you mean. You think that’s how Sharon and her husband feel about Rich?”

[Tom] “Of course they do, he belongs to them like Henry belongs to us”

Tom thinks Pat is deluding herself.

[Tom] “Rich existing isn’t going to bring John back”

[Helen on Tony] “What he said shocked me”

[Tom] “Emotional blackmail, more like”

[Helen] “No. It’s more complicated than that. I need to think this through”

Ah – Helen looks to be switching sides …

Wednesday, 21 December 2011

Freddie and Lily play nice for mum: The Archers Monday 12th December 2011

Lily is on a “sarcasm break”
Helen, Sarah, Henry and Rowan
Felpersham Guild Hall Christmas Food Fair
Casper wouldn’t fit in the car!
Proper winter stew cooked by Helen
Pat and Tony’s anniversary
Lilian to organise Pat’s 60th
Better coffee at The Bull

Lily is on a “sarcasm break”

Freddie is spending time with Casper (his new horse). Seems they have to get to know each other before Casper moves to Lower Loxley – practical, and also because Casper’s current owner really likes him and wants to be sure all will be well (quite sad that she’s had to let him go due to depleting finances).

[Elizabeth] “She wants to get use to you before he leaves home”

[Lily] “Freddie takes a lot of getting used to!”

Casper is a Welsh Pony (so should I not be calling him a horse?), who are usually very friendly.

And while Freddie gets Casper, Lily gets new clothes, a new camera and her trip to France. Though seems she needs to avoid having to sit beside her teacher, Mrs Richards, on the trip as she talks about her Dalmatians all the time.

Later on, Freddie thanks Lily for “not being mean about Casper”.

[Lily] “It’s alright. I’m on a sarcasm break. Only for our birthday. You can see mum wants us to enjoy it”

[Freddie] “Christmas will be the same … We just have to make out we’re having a really great time, for her sake”

How heart-breaking is that?

Poor wee twins, making nice so that their mum doesn’t get upset.

That’s another one to add to the list to discuss when they’re older, at therapy.

Helen, Sarah, Henry and Rowan

Helen met Sarah at a new mums group. They have an arrangement that Sarah babysits Henry when Helen is working, Helen babysits Rowan when Sarah is working.

It’s going to be a busy year for Helen, Tom and co with the new product launch, so Helen’s already back to her practical self in organising her baby care.

Felpersham Guild Hall Christmas Food Fair

Is where Tom is heading for the next few days.

At which he seems to think he can sell a lot of cheese.

Casper wouldn’t fit in the car!

Surely Freddie knows that, even though he is keen to get him home.

And worrying that they went buy a fast car with a broken headlight. We don’t need this time of year made any more depressing due to death anniversaries.

Proper winter stew cooked by Helen

Blimey.

And there’s enough for Tom to take home to Brenda.

Pat and Tony’s anniversary

Is a meal at The Bull.

Seems their ploy to keep on as normal has worked on Tom and Helen. They think them going out for a meal is a sign that Pat is moving on.

But for Pat and Tony, it’s not the easiest anniversary they’ve ever had.

Even though Tony sees it as far more than just another date in the diary:

[Tony] “It’s a reminder of the best decision I’ve ever made in my life”

And as they reminisce about the good and bad times, Pat says she isn’t so sure that they’ll pull through it this time.

[Pat] “Suppose there’s a point where you’ve been knocked down so often that your hopes just fizzle out. What if one day you run out if the fight to keep going?”

Oh dear. Pat really isn’t a happy bunny. Not at all.

When they get back home, Pat is away in her own world again. She keeps asking Helen if she wants her to check in on Henry before she goes to bed. Helen keeps telling her it’s fine, that she’ll do it herself later.

Once Pat goes to bed:

[Helen] “You don’t think, she might slip back, into a real depression … it’s not like her to ask everything 2 or 3 times”

[Tony] “I simply won’t let it happen”

Tall order, Tony. I don’t think anything less than having Rich in her life will stop Pat falling this time.

Lilian to organise Pat’s 60th

Hurrah!

I’d love to have Lilian organise a party for me.

She might even help Pat crack a smile.

Better coffee at The Bull

So says Tony.

[Tony] “Freda’s finally mastered the machine”

Thank goodness for that!

Monday, 5 September 2011

The Archers Monday 5th September 2011: Susan picks carrots

(and not very quickly …)

Susan’s not listening. Mousey is more interesting than carrots …
Freddie and Lily back home, Phoebe’s about to leave
“Don’t bother arguing, she’ll cut your feet off”
Two fat men
Tom’s trying to take dirty pictures of Susan
“I’d have rather have got a new hard hat”
Elizabeth pep talks Freddie
“Borchester’s very own plague farm”

Susan’s not listening. Mousey is more interesting than carrots …

Pat has Susan out lifting carrots. There’s not enough work in the dairy.

Susan says she glad to, but, while Pat is trying to explain what to do, Susan just rambles on. Like she used to do with Clarrie.

[Susan] “The school gently discouraged her … so off she want this morning, had a little handover at the gate … do you know what it reminded me of? One of them Jamie Oliver programmes, the mums pushing beef burgers through the fence, though this was a toy mouse …”

(she’s talking about Jennifer wanting to do a mercy dash with Mousey, Ruairi’s favourite teddy, that he’d left behind)

Poor Pat. As is she has the time or inclination to have to repeat instructions about carrots.

Freddie and Lily back home, Phoebe’s about to leave

Freddie and Lily saw a basking shark while they were in Cornwall.

They had a grand time indeed, so says Elizabeth.

Roy is talking about Phoebe getting ready to leave. How she doesn’t want to leave anything, and would

[Roy] “take her own bed if she could”

So Phoebe’s off to South Africa, and Freddie and Lily are about to go to their (posh) secondary school.
Both Roy and Elizabeth are feeling that their kids are growing up far too soon, too fast.

“Don’t bother arguing, she’ll cut your feet off”

So says Freddie!

He’s only talking about Elizabeth refusing him beyond allowed to stay home (to work with the birds of prey) rather than going shopping for school. And if he doesn’t go shopping, Elizabeth would need to cut his feet off to get him shoes.

Two fat men

Are shouting at each other outside the conference room at Lower Loxley (according to Lily).

Seems the bloke from Industrial Adhesives stolen the Engineers Battenberg Fingers …

S’aright though. Roy sorted it.

Tom’s trying to take dirty pictures of Susan

Which Susan is lost decidedly not amused about.

It’s for the website – to show everyone mucking in.

Hence Tom, taking pictures of Susan, while she’s mucking lifting carrots.

“I’d have rather have got a new hard hat”

Reckons Freddie.

He doesn’t want to be a member of the Village People (well, not yet – as far as we know), he just wanted a helmet for riding.

Elizabeth pep talks Freddie

Freddie doesn’t want to start at the Cathedral School.

[Freddie] “I don’t like thinking about it … suppose everyone else is like Lily, mega brainy, sucks up to the teachers … and they won't like me. I’m not a super boffin”

[Elizabeth] “School isn’t a competition with your sister or anyone else … the main reason for going is to bring out your special talents ... I’m not expecting you to be someone else, just the best possible Freddie Pargetter you can be”

Aw. Bless.

Elizabeth knows Freddie isn’t the brains of Borchester, but he does indeed have more to offer.

“Borchester’s very own plague farm”

Tom is trying to convince Pat that an article in Borchester Life would be a good idea.

Pat loathes the press.

And Tom has to admit that Ros (Brenda’s mate) wants an angle. She does want to do a feature on the Wetlands, but also needs Bridge Farm to talk about their recent “tough time”.

E. Coli, it seems, would only be a starting point of the article.

Pat is horrified. Tom is naive.

[Pat] “ No … and that’s flat … it makes me so sick, after all the hard work we’ve put in farming the right way for years now everyone just sees us as Borchester's very own plague farm”

So, yet again a negative to one of Brenda’s bright ideas.

Figures.

She’s not bright at the best of times.

BUT question is – what will work for Bridge Farm?

Sunday, 10 July 2011

The Archers Sunday 10th July 2011: Hot dogs, not ice cream

(very slow day in Ambridge)

The Bank of Peggy
Put the trailers away, David
Pip discovers social networking
What’s wrong with pat’s ice cream?
Spencer has a stupid little brother

The Bank of Peggy

Chris is losing sleep over having to take out a loan to pay off Chas (for his van), and that he’ll have to take out another when he wants to buy the business next year.

He’s still not best amused with Alice – and she’s not helping by suggesting they (a) embezzle the fish pond’s honesty box (joke) or (b) borrow from Peggy.

[Alice] “It’s what gran does. She likes helping the family”

Chris says no.

Alice then reckons they’re trying to do too much in one go – buying a business and trying to save for a house.

They do both want to move – especially as Jennifer is more or less on their doorstep – but Alice does have a point.

[Alice] “You’re in work, we’ve got a rent free cottage and I’m not saddled with a student load”

Wait a minute.

Alice and Chris are 23 years old.

He has a quite a good job. She has a degree, and is about to do her masters. They not only don’t have to pay rent on their cottage – Alice owns it. And they haven’t run up £20k while Alice was a student.

Blimey. Chris needs to get a sense of perspective, methinks. Anyone that age who needs loans to get their business up and running, rather than just pay off credit card debt, is quite a fine financial state.

Put the trailers away, David

Especially as you reckon it’ll mean rain for the next two months.

Pip discovers social networking

Desperate to ensure that Brookfield can afford her, Pip’s started work early on how to turn Brookfield into a more profitable farm.

And the big plan is … drum roll … social networking.

Can’t say I disagree with Pip’s approach (obviously – what I am a big fan of Twitter and Blogs), but David doesn’t seem entirely convinced.

He’s especially not convinced about Pip’s assertion that they could make more money by selling direct, rather collaborating through Hasset Hills.

Wasn’t she talking about supermarkets the other day? Scatter gun approach. Maybe that’s why David is being encouraging yet cool to Pip’s suggestions.

What’s wrong with Pat’s ice cream?

Jill has been taking the twins out for the day (including another trip to Brookfield – actually, did they even go home after their last visit?), meeting up with Elizabeth at the Pony Club.

After they’ve both done their competitive bit (one would assume they jumped over things on a pony), they’ve been promised a Bridge Farm ice cream from Pat.

But oh the humanity!

They don’t want ice cream.

They want a hot dog.

Pat was rather nonplussed about being snubbed. They’re only kids, after all.

Spencer has a stupid little brother

You probably won’t know that, if you haven’t been listening to Ambridge Extra.

Steve is Spencer’s brother. Steve is a moron. And quite rightly got done the other day for stealing a car (etc etc etc).

Spencer is stressed as home life has now become very difficult.

Pip is quite unamused.

(sorry – there’s really not much else to say about today’s eavesdropping episode)

Friday, 8 July 2011

The Archers Thursday 7th July 2011: Ruth chooses David over Elizabeth

David really is a happy chappy
Rhys is in with the big boys!
So no battle move the village shop flat?
I’ll bet Peggy hasn’t been called that before
Elizabeth won’t hear it
Jack, Aunty Gaynor and Uncle Trevor
Freddie’s going through a gory stage
“Someone’s left some cheese in the fridge”
Brookfield = machinery = hurt twins
The Famous 3
Ruth’s staying positive

David really is a happy chappy

It would seem the Borchester Show did wonders for David.

Ruth reckons she hasn’t seen David so relaxed for ages.

[Ruth] “He had a whole day when it was impossible to focus on his own problems”

And he was so chuffed that Pip was showing initiative about networking, and talking to consultants.

So that’s the secret then.

Keep David on a dizzy round of NFU events, and all shall be well.

Rhys is in with the big boys!

Rhys has made it to the secret microphones of Ambridge, after being stuck in the rather bizarre world of Ambridge Extra.

Wonder if Chas will also make it through …

So no battle move the village shop flat?

I suppose not.

Chris is settled with Alice. Fallon likely wouldn’t want to leave Jolene (though wouldn’t that be better than seeing her and Kenton snogging on the sofa every night?). And Helen has moved back home.

So, that just leaves Rhys.

[Rhys] “I think I’ll take it. I’ve got a feeling I’m going to be very happy here”

So Rhys. If you’re staying, can we know your surname?

I’ll bet Peggy hasn’t been called that before

[Rhys] “Elderly lady? Computer literate”

Elizabeth won’t hear it

[Elizabeth] “I want them to have a perfectly normal relationship with their cousins”

[Jill] “Well you say that Elizabeth, but it’s not as easy as it used to be, for anyone …”

But Elizabeth interrupts her and leaves to call a supplier, before Jill can get into full flow about how difficult her refusal to speak to David is for everyone. It’s even a bit of a faff taking the twins to Brookfield.

Jack, Aunty Gaynor and Uncle Trevor

Susan’s telling Rhys all about Jack Woolley – considering he made mention of Peggy – because he wants to have a look at the Village shop flat …

Honestly Susan. Any excuse.

After explaining how Jack use to own half the village, was clever, used to walk his dog and always had a kind word to say:

[Susan] “Now he doesn’t know the day of the week”

Seems Rhys’ Aunty Gaynor “went the same way”, and broke his Uncle Trevor’s heart.

Freddie’s going through a gory stage

Talking about going to see Pip’s prize winning lambs at Brookfield:

[Freddie] “We need to see them quick, before they get hauled off to the abattoir”

On being told that they all chosen for Butchers’ class as they looked alike:

[Freddie] “So that when the butchers chop them up, they’re all the same”

“Someone’s left some cheese in the fridge”

Not quite a cake in the rain, but more Helen’s style.

(the cheese was in the fridge of the Village shop flat)

Brookfield = machinery = hurt twins

They managed to not impale themselves this time, but I would have watched them like a hawk if I was Ruth.

Just imagine. Husband, and then also the kids.

I don’t think even Jill would forgive that.

The Famous 3

I thought Ben, Freddie and Lily were about to break out the lasing of ginger as they chatted.

Ruth’s staying positive

Jill started talking about the troubles between Elizabeth and David, but Ruth didn’t really want to go there:

[Ruth] “Still, there’s nothing to be done about it. How about we go in and have a cup of tea”

[Jill] “if only she and David could find some sort of reconciliation …”

[Ruth] “I’m not going to hold me breath. From now on, it’s this family and this farm that comes first from me … Elizabeth must do as she sees fit, but it's David I’m thinking about, he comes first, and that’s how it’s going to stay”

So that’s that then.

Tuesday, 7 June 2011

The Archers Sunday 5th June 2011: Shula returns to St Stephens

Shula gives Strength
Alan’s Apt
Susan’s got Scones
Is it still someone’s birthday when they’ve died?
South Borchester Puppy Show 2011
Puppy walkers
Christine in gossipy mood
Caroline’s in the dog house
What makes a good ‘un?
No! Not Oliver’s new hat!
The Church is the answer?

Shula gives Strength

Shula did accompany Jill to St Stephens, and seems to have made a world of difference to our rather tired Jill.

Alan seemed to be trying to temp Shula back to St Stephens by saying she looked lovely.

And Shula seemed to be quite happy.

Whether Shula does return to St Stephens or not, she helped Jill to miss Phil less, and also gave her strength during a rather tense time with her family.

Alan’s Apt

Which we do come to expect of Alan. Always the right word, phrase, sentiment, feeling, at the right time.

During the service, Alan’s prayer was on forgiveness (not much of that going round Jill’s side of the Archers clan at the moment).

Susan’s got Scones

And earlier on offered to bring Shula more Clingfilm for the Puppy Show.

She’s in charge of the scones and cream, and seems to be kept so busy that she doesn’t utter a peep the whole Puppy Show.

Is it still someone’s birthday when they’ve died?

I suppose not. Must be more of an anniversary of when they were born, for the folks that knew them that are still of this world.

Anyhoo, it’s Nigel’s birthday on Wednesday.

[Jill] “Oh, will there never be an end of this, Shula?”

I don’t think so. Birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, Valentine’s Day, Sundays, Tuesdays, favourite brand of crisps … this will go on and on.

Jill is worried that Elizabeth is going off on a day course, on Historic House, with Roy on Nigel’s birthday.

Better to be busy?

South Borchester Puppy Show 2011

Jill and Phil might have disagreed about hunting, but all folks love a nice puppy.

Especially when there are mountains of sandwiches to be had.

Sarnies and Puppies.

Perfect.

Puppy walkers

I also didn’t realise this, but the hunt dogs are kept by folks in their homes when they’re puppies, before they’re old enough to join the hunt.

And those folks are called puppy walkers.

That’s superb!

I’d be one myself, if I didn’t already foster racing greyhounds as they’re retired from track (to how them what a house is, not to be scared of the hoover, and how to enjoy their retirement. Brief shout-out for the charity I foster for: http://www.dgrescue.org.uk/)

Christine in gossipy mood

Christine’s at the Puppy Show with Freddie and Lily.

She slights that Mandy Beevesbrough (sp?) has to dye her hair red now.

And she then starts joking.

Yes – joking!

At her time of life … well, I never.

[Christine] “The definition of hock is the financial condition of most horse owners …”

And then she started telling Seymour, the huntsman’s, joke:

[Christine] “There was this stud groom who had too much to drink …”

… but the secret microphone moves on elsewhere before we can hear the punch line.

Naughty, on oh so many levels.

Caroline’s in the dog house

(which I know is a bad joke, but she said it first)

[Oliver] “So, where exactly are you, my sweet?”

Don’t let the “my sweet” fool you. Oliver is absolutely fuming that Caroline has missed the start (and most of the rest) of the Puppy Show.

[Oliver] “ …you just slink in , after I started my speech when I couldn’t say anything!”

Caroline had staff issues at Grey Gables, which couldn’t be helped, really.

But Oliver’s not a happy chappy.

He even made ‘text’ sound like a major affront.

(Caroline had the audacity to send him one, rather than turning up in time).

[Oliver] “The point is, I felt completely humiliated, everyone was wondering where you were”

Oops.

Retirement soon for Caroline?

What makes a good ‘un?

Seemingly puppy Cheerful looks a good ‘un (according to Christine).

[Christine] “Nice sloping shoulders, and a good length neck, and his stern’s not too curly”

No! Not Oliver’s new hat!

Oliver’s hat blew off as he was making the opening announcements at the Puppy Show.

It was okay, as Molly Button managed to retrieve it (much to Lily’s annoyance, and, I imagine, all of the wee hounds in training).

But, it was a new hat. Especially bought for the Puppy Show.

Poor Oliver. Even the small pleasures in life seem to go a bit astray.

The Church is the answer?

Alan would certainly be the right person to try and broker a peace between Elizabeth and David,

Jill certainly wishes that Elizabeth and David had the church to fall back on.

[Jill] “Just to give them that time out to reflect on it all … look outside themselves for a moment … it might help Elizabeth to forgive David, and for David to …”

[Alan] “ … forgive himself …”

[Jill] “Exactly, he can’t let it go”

Wednesday, 1 June 2011

The Archers Wednesday 1st June 2011: Tigg arrives at Brookfield

Why no memory stick?
“The sponge rubber people aren’t our biggest clients, but they do go back a long way”
Of course Jessica has perked up!
Get a puppy – problem solved
The waterpark isn’t as good as a puppy
Open Farm at Home Farm?

Why no memory stick?

A presenter, doing a presentation at Lower Loxley, is panicking in case his laptop fails him. So Roy has another one lined up for him.

Any presenter worth his salt surely takes another copy of their presentation on a memory stick?

Planning, people. Planning.

“The sponge rubber people aren’t our biggest clients, but they do go back a long way”

So says Elizabeth. So Roy takes good care of them.

Of course Jessica has perked up!

It would be sometimes easy to think that Elizabeth is just a bit dim.

She seems surprised Jessica is happier since was told that the Falconry wasn’t closing.

But – it’s not being Elizabeth dim – she’s just being her usual self-centred self.

She has no idea that her making a decision can impact on someone else. And that some folks actually depend on their jobs to earn a living.

Silly moo.

But at least Roy got a nice moment.

[Roy] “When Jessica hugs you, you stay hugged”

Get a puppy – problem solved!

David sounded so happy with Tigg.

In fact, that’s the happiest David has sounded since Nigel died.

Tigg is short for Tigger, as they reckon he “bounces all over the place”.

And he also listens. David was already getting him to respond to some basic commands.

Right. So we leave David in a room with Tigg for a few months, and problems solved?

The waterpark isn’t as good as a puppy

According to Freddie.

He’s miffed that he thought he was going to Brookfield to see Tigg.

But Elizabeth takes them to waterworld instead.

They take ages to get there (bad traffic), and they have to leave early as it’s too busy, and Freddie is still in a grump.

Or at least, Lily reckons that Freddie spoiled it for everyone.

Roy offers to take Freddie over to Brookfield, Elizabeth doesn’t sound keen, but eventually relents

(during their conversation, Lily was playing up a bit:

[Lily] “Does anybody care that I’m starving?

“Oh dear, I’ve just fainted. Nevermind …”)

And Lily doesn’t want to with Roy and Freddie to Brookfield. She reckon she’s had enough of Freddie’s company already …

Open Farm at Home Farm?

David pops over to Brian’s. He has the ulterior motive of trying to persuade Brian to take on Open Farm Sunday, instead of Brookfield.

After chatting about mice hiding in combines, the initial signals from Brian aren’t good. He thinks David is asking for his usual help at Brookfield for Open Farm Sunday – namely taking machinery over

[Brian] “So the great unwashed can see what a real combine is like”

And when David eventually asks him outright:

[Brian] “You’re must mo0re trusting than I am … you’re happy to have all and sundry clamouring around your farm, working out the best way to come back and pinch your diesel or nick a tractor”

David reassures that it isn’t all that bad.

Nobody steals anything (if they’re marshalled), it means cash in the pocket from folks signing up to buy meat (and such direct), it creates goodwill and educates, and there’s also good PR to be had.

Brian still seems unconvinced. Seemingly the venison virtually sells itself.

But, actually, the fishing lake numbers are down this year … so Brian is at least going to ask Adam …

Yup.

You heard it.

Brian has to ask Adam about a Home Farm decision.

He said himself it was going to take time to get used to – but how very odd that Adam is now taking over the reins, bit by bit.

Wednesday, 25 May 2011

The Archers Tuesday 24th May 2011: David nearly talks to Oliver

Emma is hoping the washing will dry overnight
Keira is so surely Will’s child …
George has got big feet
Lynda’s flapping spoiled Oliver and Caroline’s day out
All’s well at Lower Loxley
New Johnny Depp film
Emma’s a bit evil
Oliver nearly helps David
Elizabeth is scary

Emma is hoping the washing will dry overnight

Cripes! At this time of year?

Not a chance.

Keira is so surely Will’s child …

Ed calls her trouble, Ruth reckons she’s full of mischief.

Add to that the fact that she’s always grumpy.

George has got big feet

But was determined to get a size of too small shoes onto his feet.

No doubts there then about who that wee chap was fathered by (but if I thought George had been trying to save his mum money – the smaller ones were £5 cheaper – I’d have gone back to wondering if he was Ed’s).

Lynda’s flapping spoiled Oliver and Caroline’s day out

Ed was retelling that Oliver and Caroline had to come back from their trip.

A guest was taken to A&E, but only with “an ankle, or something”.

However, because Lynda flapped, Caroline had to return to take charge.

Wonder if Caroline is starting to think that she has taken too much?

A leaky roof, a trip to A&E … I reckon it’ll take one more incident to send Caroline back to enjoy more free time with Oliver.

All’s well at Lower Loxley

(massive fall-out between Elizabeth and David aside)

Roy hasn’t as yet spotted that Elizabeth has gone off the deep end, so he’s merrily working away at being good at his job.

The ‘Plastic Guy’ has booked rooms for training in July. The Pigeon Fanciers are “perfectly happy and will see us next year”

Patrick even helped Hollerton Primary spot 18 types of bird.

(note the mention of Patrick – the first for a fair while. Wonder if Kirsty will try and force him and Fallon together in revenge?)

But, Roy is on a mission to save the Falconry. He’s been looking at other successful Falconry, and reckons they could make Lower Loxley’s work by getting a better website, have shorter days, make it more family friendly, start selling vouchers.

All great ideas.

But maybe Roy needs to notice that now is not the time to show Elizabeth initiative. It’ll only make her even angrier.

New Johnny Depp film

Is what Elizabeth, Lily and Freddie are off to see at the pictures.

One assumes that’s the new Pirates of the Caribbean.

It’ll take years to get to my wee, hidden neck of the woods.

Score for Ambridge (or more likely Borchester).

Emma’s a bit evil

She firstly can only offer Ed sausage and eggs (seemingly again) for tea.

(and that’s not about it being a ‘wifely’ duty. That’s her job in their household. And anyway, they’re not married)

Then:

[Emma] “Like I said to Will … proper little brother and sister. I don’t kno0w if he heard, but he didn’t say anything”

Evil!

She’s been told, by Susan (who heard it from Clarrie) that Will want another baby.

She should know better than to wind up Will.

Oliver nearly helps David

I’m loving the way Oliver is randomly popping up anywhere and everywhere around Ambridge, as he wanders out of sheer boredom (while Caroline is working).

Today, Oliver is helping David with the silage. And makes a rather astute remark:

[Oliver] “Late Spring when everything got right on top of me”

Not directed at David, it seems a perfectly timed comment. David starts to actually talk about his problems.

[David] “I’m a fat lot of use to anyone … and it’s not just with the NFU, believe me … sometimes I wonder how my family out up with me, I get so much wrong”

[Oliver] “I know how low I got sometimes, I mean, really low”

David starts to tell him what’s happening – but Ed blunders in to take Oliver to see Keira (which was the point of Oliver being in that general direction).

Oliver tells David that he can talk to him, anytime. But David has shut down again.

[David] “Silaging blues, that all. Nothing serious”

Elizabeth is scary

[Elizabeth] “We’ve just agreed, from now on, that they’ll get on with their lives and we’ll get on with ours”

And she’s saying that to her young children.

Yikes. Cold, and harsh.

Friday, 18 March 2011

The Archers Wed 16th March 2011: No – not Andy Smith!!!

“Not too many hangovers and thick heads”
Jolene is still apologising
No 3 The Green
Catering therapy
Topper!
And the mole is unmasked as …
Jamie has a night out with women who laugh at his jokes

“Not too many hangovers and thick heads”

Oh.

That’s a tad disappointing.

The Grundy’s have a day out, and no-one is feeling a tad poorly the next day.

The healthy living craze has finally got to them?

Jolene is still apologising

To Lilian for now not wanting to sell The Bull.

But Lilian’s more than happy.

[Lilian] “I don’t want the pub to close”

No 3 The Green

So instead of worrying about the lost opportunity of The Bull for Amside, Lilian seems particularly chirpy about going to see No 3 The Green.

Some of the Horrobins live at number 6, Tom and Brenda at number 1 – but no idea of who has lived in number 3.

And also surprised Lillian’s even interested in an ex-Council house.

Not quite her style.

(and that’s not me being snobbish, by the way. I live in an ex-Council in the country. It’s not exactly the best looking of places, but it’s a right proper, toasty home inside. Bless the Council builders of the 60s!).

Catering therapy

Lily’s been having nightmares, it being a bit sharp and short with Jill and Freddie – and Freddie is withdrawing into himself.

But not to worry, Jill’s on-hand to look after them while Elizabeth is in hospital. She’s decided that they way to get them to calm down and chat is to make a lemon drizzle cake.

Fair do – and it has the desired results.

Although I was worried about Freddie doing the maths for the recipe, Jill did manage to get home to talk about how he feels it’s his fault that Elizabeth was so stressed – because he made such a fuss about Topper.

But Jill had news for Freddie.

Topper!

Is being stabled at Shula’s, so Freddie can go and see him anytime he likes.

Things is – why did no-one think to mention that to Freddie before?

A tad cruel, if you ask me.

And the mole is unmasked as …

Adam Smith!

Well, I never! Not in a million years did I think it could be Adam.

BUT actually – have we ever really heard from Adam? I don’t think so, so the whole ‘who is the mole’ turned about to be ‘what is Adam Smith’.

A pfffff rather than a bang.

However – I did hate the way Lilian was then setup to make an arse of herself.

Brian knew feel well that she’d question them about the blokes they’d pretended (for their mole’s sake) had been spoken to about the Project Manager’s job.

Fair do, she was involved in the subterfuge, but I don’t think she should have been made to feel so small. She’s not the only they really need to go after – Matt's their man!

And Jennifer – Adam’s a “mole”. Mole is the word, not “weasel”.

Jamie has a night out with women who laugh at his jokes

Which is very nice of Jolene and Fallon.

We now also know that Jamie likes Aliens, Fallon likes The Abyss and Terminator, and reckons James Cameron is “a legend”.

Ho hum.

Sunday, 13 March 2011

The Archers Sun 13th March 2011: Phew! Elizabeth’s alive.

David looks very serious
Keeping the Twins busy
Keeping your hands clean
“Careful you don’t unplug her”
Thank goodness for Jill
“where have you hidden the proper tackle?”
The Snell’s shall provide
How much guilt can one man take?

David looks very serious

According to the Twins, when they arrive at hospital.

BUT Elizabeth is doing fine.

I had a horrible feeling that this could have turned out to be #sattc (Shakes Ambridge to the Core) part deux … actually, I wonder if it still could be?

Keeping the Twins busy

David gets Freddie to go with him to the hospital shop, then Clarrie later gets them to play together instead of getting stressed over Kenton not being able to play (as he had to go to work).

Keeping your hands clean

Kenton can be such an irresponsible idiot sometimes – but he does make sure everyone uses the antiseptic “stuff” before they go into Elizabeth’s room.

He really isn’t that much of a simpleton.

“Careful you don’t unplug her”

Says Kenton to Lily when she goes for a hug with Elizabeth.

But all’s well – sounds like Elizabeth only has those sticky on things which monitor heart rate.

Elizabeth sounded tired, but fairly relaxed (shame it took such a dramatic turn to get her to finally calm down!).

And she now has to listen to the consultants without grumbling.

Freddie seems a bit freaked out (he didn’t want to hug her as she looked so “weird” and white). But looks like all is well.

BUT … there may be surgery to stop it happening again. So, I suppose there’s still chance of a Shake.

Jill left holding the babies?

Thank goodness for Jill

She was there to call the ambulance, she was there holding Elizabeth’s hand when she woke up in hospital and she’s now moved in to Lower Loxley to be there for the Twins.

She was even there for Lily when she woke up from a nightmare (which Lily appreciated, though she really wanted her mum).

I don’t always agree with Jill, but there’s no arguing that her side of the Archer clan just wouldn’t cope without her.

“where have you hidden the proper tackle?”

[Eddie] “Right, we’ve had our starter, where have you hidden the proper tackle?”

So – Eddie’s not amused by Clarrie’s new Sunday lunch – which is simply bread and cheese as part of their efforts for Lent.

(the idea being that folks give up their proper meals, to then give the cash savings to Alan the Vicar).

So, no roast. No gravy. Not even a pudding.

[Eddie] “What? A raw apple? Not even an apple pie???”

But before you feel sorry for Eddie and Joe (hard working men not getting a proper meal), it’s only once a week!

Come on lads – that’s surely not too much to ask?

Um … seems it is.

The Snell’s shall provide

Despite being threatened by Clarrie with bread and water if they try and cheat Lent, Eddie and Joe are determined to have a proper Sunday meal.

So, their cunning plan is to simply eat at one of their neighbour’s.

Pondering their options – they had to rule out Neil and Susan (as they are also signed up), they also hit a brick wall with Mike

[Joe] “Vicky Tucker is a nice old woman but she’s a right old blabber mouth”

Then Eddie realises that the answer is staring him in the face.

The Snells!

Right next door, and Lynda is a grand cook.

All that needs doing is to persuade Lynda (Robert should be easy enough), and make sure Clarrie doesn’t find out.

Aye well – good luck with that!

How much guilt can one man take?

David now thinks that Elizabeth’s ‘episode’ is his fault for telling her he had to spend less time at Lower Loxley.

Well, I suppose he is right. Him stepping back did seem to push Elizabeth into stressful overdrive – but she has been told by everyone that the only way forward was to get a professional manager in.

And she did admit herself that she was being selfish, expecting David to cope with both Lower Loxley and Brookfield.

With the inquest still to happen, I’m not sure David isn’t going to implode with the huge guilt he’s carrying over Nigel’s death, and now Elizabeth’s illness.

And what if the inquest finds fault?

Aren’t farmers one of the highest risk groups for suicide anyway …???