Pondering The Archers: lewis carmichael

The Brilliant Ideas meeting

Is Lewis’ way of getting more ideas from lower Loxley, by involving all of the staff. They can “drift in and out” as work allows.

Bert’s idea is TV. He reckons that as “life in big country houses is popular” , they should take advantage and get Lower Loxley on there too.

Imagine that … it’d be car crash viewing if Elizabeth was ‘on one’.

Hayley’s idea is a Lower Loxley passport. So, folks buy a passport each year, and have an “ongoing connection” with Lower Loxley.

[Lewis] “Stakeholders, is that what they call it these days.”

With a passport, the ‘stakeholders’ will get into Lower Loxley for free, s will come back more often. And spend their money more often in the tea room and shop.

[Lewis] “I think it sound very positive … building up long term relationships with people.”

[Hayley] “Becoming friends.”

That’s a lovely way to put trying to get more money out of the same people …

Bert has a second brainwave. Following on from his theme of big houses now being popular, he thinks they should research the lives of people who have lived both up and downstairs at Lower Loxley, then make an exhibition out of it.

So, nothing earth shattering, but at least they’re all thinking and involved.

And they all have jobs.

The Odd Couple, part deux

It used to be Jazzer and Harry – but Jim and Jazzer are Ambridge’s new odd couple.

They really do seem to be enjoying each other’s company.

Jim’s struggling for a new subject to interview for his Borchester Life article.

Jazzer reckons … Jazzer!

[Jazzer] “One of these days I’m going to be picked up by the style mags.”

[Jim] “Jazzer, I do wish you wear your overalls back home.”

[Jazzer] “Bit pungent are they?”

[Jim] “Just a touch”

Ignoring Jazzer’s suggestion, Jim is looking up other potentially ‘interesting’ Borchester residents.

He’s found one who is an ex-Brigadier, who also travelled in the Far East.

[Jazzer] “Beyond Felpersham, you mean?”

The chap also collects stuff.

[Jazzer] “Anybody with any sort of collection … the guy’s bound to be boring.”

So who to interview?

[Jazzer] “Shall I tell you the answer to most of life’s intractable problems … head for the nearest bar. There’s something about having a glass in your hand that frees up the creative juices.”

When they’re sat with glass in hand, Jazzer asks Jim to interview Tom.

[Jazzer] “It wouldnae half improve my life if you could dae the piece on Tom Archer … it doesnae stop him lobbying me!”

Bert comes in, and reckons he’d be perfect.

[Bert] “I get a bit about these days … I’ve had some of my poems published in Evesham.”

Bert also suggests Ifty. He’s a teacher, mathematician. Sportsman. And isn’t from Ambridge.

[Jim] “An also suggests aesthete to boot!”

[Bert] “You what?”

So, it would seem Ifty it is.

Rhys better watch out for Jazzer

Bert, with his usual tact, mentions Rhys and Fallon to Jazzer.

[Bert] “Must have come as quite a blow, eh Jazzer?”

Jazzer reckons he’s fine about it.

[Hayley] “You don’t look it. Staring miserably into your drink.”

[Jazzer] “It’s just Fallon wae Rhys, you know …”

[Hayley] “You’re mates. You're one of the good guys.”

[Jazzer] “He better treat her right, that’s all. Or he’ll be answering to me.”

Ruth is inseminating cows again is: Fri 23.11.12 #thearchers

The Archers Friday 23rd November 2012

Elizabeth not concerned it’s a listed building
Ruth finally lets Emma do the skirting boards
Ruth’s bothering those cows again
Hayley’s keeping her job
Tom wants a Borchester Life article

Elizabeth not concerned it’s a listed building

Elizabeth’s cracking on with converting the dairy block into wedding accommodation.

Though, quite bizarrely, she doesn’t seem at all perturbed that it’s a listed building. Even though they’ll need to put new windows and bathrooms in for each room.

[Elizabeth] “Our clients wouldn’t accept shared facilities.”

(well, I don’t think anyone would be very happy with shared facilities)

Lewis also seems to be very positive:

[Lewis] “No archaeological issues and as far as I can tell, no bats.”

Elizabeth would like Lewis to run the development, but he reckons they will need someone who’s a bit closer to the conservation officer. He suggests some chap called Julian Hobson.

(none of this makes for thrilling eavesdropping, but I’m sure something will liven it up soon enough!)

Ruth finally lets Emma do the skirting boards

After the £4000 bombshell yesterday, Emma’s back to begging Ruth for extra work.

She tries to get extra hours defrosting the fridge, but Ruth reckons that would only take half an hour.

But Ruth does agree Emma can have a go at the skirting boards.

[Ruth] “It’ll have to be a one off mind. I’m sorry.”

Later on, Susan spots that Emma is worrying. Again.

[Emma] “There’s always something, and I just don’t know what to do anymore.”

Ruth’s bothering those cows again

[Ruth] “I want to AI them before Eddie does the milking.”

That woman is insatiable.

[Ruth] “I’ve inseminated those two. They’ll be the first to calve in the Autumn block.”

As they’ll have hundreds of calves being born at the same time, Ruth reckons it’ll be full on. They’ll need a lot of help.

[David] “We won’t know whether it’s raining or Thursday.”

Hayley’s keeping her job

Though it was Roy who had to have a chat with Elizabeth.

[Elizabeth] “Hayley’s got a lot of valuable skills, I wouldn’t want to lose her … I’ll go and tell her myself.”

Tom wants a Borchester Life article

Done about him.

Now there’s a surprise.

Rhys is ignored: Mon 12.11.12 #thearchers

The Archers Monday 12th November 2012

Kenton’s NOT just excited about the models?
Deck the halls!
Kenton, the community chap
Nil desperandum
Joe has new teeth
Joe has a class consciousness?
Is Rhys invisible?
Jim wants to put ribbons round the trees
Nigel’s cane and scythe

Kenton’s NOT just excited about the models?

So he claims.

And we don’t mean the airfix variety neither.

It’s to be The Bull’s fashion show next Tuesday … Kenton reckons it’s making him feel Christmassy.

Aye, right then.

Deck the halls!

Yay!

I do love it when Deck the Halls gets a mention for the first time.

It means Christmas is on its way.

[Elizabeth] “I can’t believe we're there again already.”

But, this year, there will be no ice rink. Seems it costs too much.

Though there will be the German Market. So there will be Gluehwein.

Shame about this rink, but at least the string stuff will be flowing!

Kenton, the community chap

Kenton’s been asked (or he asked?) to switch the Ambridge Christmas lights on.

[Kenton] “I’m becoming quite the pillar of the community, I'll have you know.”

[Elizabeth] “God help us all!”

Nil desperandum

[Jim] “… never despair. There's worse things than a Monday morning.”

Indeed Jim.

I used to think a Sunday night when I was at school was worse than a Monday morning. Last of the Summer Wine was ruined by the thought of Double French.

Joe has new teeth

Hurrah!

Seems they’re comfy, and of normal hue.

[Jim] “At least we won’t be able to see you coming in the dark.”

Joe must be mightily relieved. Though Jim reminds him that most folks have more things to do:

[Jim] “Other than to admire your dental furniture.”

Joe has a class consciousness?
Seems Joe doesn’t approve of or buy Borchester Life.

[Joe] “By toffs for toffs, if you ask me.”

Then Jim tells him about his articles. About “interesting” Ambridge folks.

[Joe] “And you chose Mike Tucker ... well, if you're looking to interview someone else, wise old country gentleman who actually knows what he's on about …”

Ah – caught!

Jim reckons he couldn’t ask Joe to be a subject due to his “strong moral objections.”

[Jim] “Although I can quite understand your class consciousness.”

[Joe] “We could change it from the inside.”

Is Rhys invisible?

Kenton and Jolene ignore Rhys while they’re mucking around.

When Jim and Joe are talking about a community event in the Community Orchard (see below), Rhys suggests they could tell stories.

Everyone ignores him. Again.

Kenton comes into the conversation, and suggests storytelling. Which everyone agrees is a marvellous idea.

[Kenton] “It’s nice being useful.”

Jim wants to put ribbons round the trees

[Jim] “The idea is to celebrate trees in all their variety.”

Not sure why, but Jim wants to hold another day to celebrate the Community Orchard. Like the Apple Day, they just had.

Joe’s quite interested, though.

He could sell his holly and mistletoe.

(ah – it must really be Christmas soon!)

Nigel’s cane and scythe

Lewis and Elizabeth are having a look at the old dairy, to possibly turn into wedding accommodation.

Seems Nigel used to squirrel away some of his odds and sods there.

[Elizabeth] “It’s the cane Nigel used to spy on swallows.”

(eh?)

And also the scythe he used to cut the meadow.

It seems it’s quite a big building - 200,800 square feet, Lewis reckons. Which could need a £840,000 budget to fix up.

Which Lewis reckons would be a good investment. Though Elizabeth would need to get a loan.

AND it’s a grade listed building (so couldn’t possibly be a quick fix)

[Elizabeth] “I don’t suppose the scythe is worth very much?”

[Lewis] “Not financially, no.”

I’m amazed at how far Elizabeth has progressed with her grief.

That sort of conversation – finding things of, and remembering things about, Nigel used to send her over the edge.

Now, it’s fondness rather than overwhelming sadness.

Thursday, 29 November 2012

Lynda shall play Prospero: Thurs 08.11.12 #thearchers

The Archers Thursday 8th November 2012

Naomi has a “mardy face”
Kenton demands praise
The Elizabethan Christmas show marches on
Fallon wants Rhys
Bob Pullen still isn’t too well
Freddie’s looking forward to extra maths
Is Hayley for the chop?
“Such stuff as dreams are made on”

Naomi has a “mardy face”

Which Fallon won’t have to put up with anymore. Naomi’s quit.

Fallon feels rather superior, as she feels Naomi was behaving unfairly. After all, Naomi had the same opportunity to get the Manager job.

Erm.

Seems not so.

Kirsty had a hand in it.

[Kirsty] “I might have kind of possibly hinted to Don that all the staff were really hacked off when Naomi was manager.”

[Fallon] “I really don’t know what to say. You’re really quite sly, aren’t you. I’d better watch my back!”

Kenton demands praise

[Kenton] “Aren’t you proud of me mum, your son is being a Lord!”

Bless.

This Lord of Misrule is certainly going to Kenton’s head.

The Elizabethan Christmas show marches on

With Kenton as the Lord of Misrule and Macbeth’s witches organised, Lynda feels she finally has a show.

Christine and Jill have been researching Elizabethan food. Collar of Brawn (pork loin, boiled a week in advance, marinated in spices). Real mince pies. Marzipan.

[Jill] “If it was good enough for Queen Bess, I’m sure it’ll do for you.”

Fallon wants Rhys

Well, we all know that.

But, she specifically wants him to work at Jaxx.

[Fallon] “Just like when running the pub together but all the time.”

Fallon sounds very excited. Rhys doesn’t.

He doesn’t want to leave The Bull. He likes the punters. It’s a short walk from his flat. And he wouldn’t want to leave Jolene and Kenton short.

[Fallon] “Don’t worry, eh, just thought it might be an easy solution.”

When she’s later speaking about it to Kirsty.

[Fallon] “I’m just so disappointed Kirsty. I thought he'd jump at the chance.”

[Kirsty] “Unless of course you’re upset it might have to do less with where he works than with who … okay, so I got it wrong, Rhys is a sweet bloke though, if you were hoping that you and him …”

Fallon doth protest …

Bob Pullen still isn’t too well

In fact, he’s very frail.

Jill’s having to take his shopping to him.

Oh dear.

Freddie’s looking forward to extra maths

Seems Ifty has enthused him about his tutoring.

Is Hayley for the chop?

The consultant’s report on Lower Loxley is in.

Seems the business is viable. But their costs are up, while spend per head is down.

The consultant wasn’t very positive about the school trips – seems they don’t add any profit. Which isn’t very good news for Hayley.

The new suggestions are courses – art, cookery, further education. They should get sponsorship for the art gallery, and hold larger exhibitions.

Elizabeth and Lewis also revisit the Old Dairy plans to turn it into wedding accommodation. Seems Nigel didn’t want it to happen, as the accommodation would be too close to their house.

[Elizabeth] “But times change.”

[Jill] “It’s your decision love, just don’t bite off more than you can chew … the business is nothing without your health.”

But, we haven’t heard Elizabeth so positive in a long time. She now has a plan to work to, and isn’t being held back by what Nigel would have done.

Anyhoo – this could all be very, very bad news for the Tuckers.

“Such stuff as dreams are made on”

Our revels now are ended. These our actors,
As I foretold you, were all spirits, and
Are melted into air, into thin air:
And like the baseless fabric of this vision,
The cloud-capp'd tow'rs, the gorgeous palaces,
The solemn temples, the great globe itself,
Yea, all which it inherit, shall dissolve,
And, like this insubstantial pageant faded,
Leave not a rack behind. We are such stuff
As dreams are made on; and our little life
Is rounded with a sleep.

(The Tempest, Act 4, Scene 1)

Lynda was quite amazed Kenton could quote part of the speech above.

[Lynda] “Good grief! You know it.”

Kenton tells Lynda she should play Prospero, and end the night’s revelry. He reckons she’s a sort of Prospero anyway, as the Director.

She at first says no, out of modesty.

But is soon persuaded.

Sunday, 24 July 2011

The Archers Sunday 24th July 2011: The Dawn of the Scarecrows

Clarrie’s not at the Village Fete
Corinthia Hart is revealed to be …
Chris is “not filled with glee”
Eddie’s contribution to Troll-gate
Tom tells Vicky
Cooking kills E. coli
Jumpy scarecrow with a Scottish accent
Miss Moffat didn’t impress
Susan’s back on form
Scarecrow competition goes all Disney

Clarrie’s not at the Village Fete

Which says a lot. The E. coli shebacle is hitting her quite hard indeed.

[Will] “Pat had a right go at her on Friday”

[Nic] “ … just bad luck”

Though Susan, obviously relieved that the E. coli was nothing to do with her, isn’t quite as supportive.

[Susan] “There are still three people in hospital. Two of them children”

True enough. But don’t start me on the ‘what about the children’ attitude …

Corinthia Hart is revealed to be …

[Susan] “That dumpy little woman? … I’d imagined more like Joanna Trollope”

Seems Corinthia Hart is just an average woman in a Beige cardigan.

I’m not even sure if Corinthia Hart is a nom de plume.

Either way, she seems to be a person of no real consequence to Ambridge.

Chris is “not filled with glee”

At the thought of having to spend the day with Brian and Jennifer at Alice’s graduation.

Odd that he’s not even thinking about bumping into Chas again …

Eddie’s contribution to Troll-gate

Was a river to run under Will’s bridge.

Very clever.

Emma is not amused. Even if her bridge (built by Chris) is (so Emma says) better.

Tom tells Vicky

Not sure why Tom told Vicky about the E. coli being Bridge Farm’s fault, but at least he didn’t tell her about Clarrie.

That seems like a changed Tom.

Did he give birth and have a personality like his sister did?

Cooking kills E. coli

So says Tom.

So it’s more than safe to eat his burgers.

Sham not everyone at the Village Fete knew that. Vicky knew it, but some parents were tasking their kids away when they realised it was Bridge Farm burgers.

(actually … did Vicky buy a burger?)

Jumpy scarecrow with a Scottish accent

Seems one of the scarecrows was a real life one, that “shouts very loudly in a Scottish accent” while jumping out on walkers by.

That’ll be Jazzer then.

Wonder whose garden he was standing in?

Miss Moffat didn’t impress

[Susan] “Miss Moffat looms like a hunchback, and her tuffet isn’t much to talk about”

Susan’s back on form

She’s telling everyone she can that Mistress of the Paddocks was based on Brian.

Even Vicky.

Which means everyone will know.

BUT, to her credit, she also doesn’t tell anyone about Clarrie.

[Susan] “It’s a bit of a mystery. They’re still investigating”

Scarecrow competition goes all Disney

Lewis is judging the scarecrow competition.

He claims he found it hard to judge:

[Lewis] “so many amazing tableaux”

The runners up, “highly commended” are Little Red Riding Hood (in Grange Spinney – but I don’t know who), and Vicky’s Three bears.

And first goes to …. Drum roll … both sets of the Billy Goats Gruff.

Hmpf.

[Lewis] “There was nothing to choose between them”

Double hmpf.

That was a big build up for a fairy-tale ‘and they all lived happily ever after’ ending.

They even all said “cheers” as this eavesdropping episode closed (they were getting their photos taken).

Since when was all fair in love and scarecrow wars?

Yet another damp squib.

There’s been a few of them in late.

Sunday, 29 May 2011

The Archers Sunday 29th May 2011: If Shula can still be friends with Caroline …

… why can’t Elizabeth be as humane?

“Hay, David’s getting ready to cut”
New sheep dog for Brookfield
David bumps Shula
“Oliver is living and breathing hunt puppies at the moment”
Who left the gate open?
Shula and Caroline
No appetite for Open Farm Sunday
At least Jill has the grandkids
A delightful Canadian lady wants Lower Loxley wine
“Thank heavens. I haven’t let my heart rule my head”
First half century of the season

“Hay, David’s getting ready to cut”

Was what the announcer said before today’s eavesdropping episode.

Must let him open the early sherry for the live Sunday experience …

New sheep dog for Brookfield

And David’s at pains to make sure Josh (and Ben) know it’s not a pet.

David bumps Shula

Shula seems to be having no luck with her siblings at the moment.

She clip-clops up to Josh and David, but David moves her on quick sharp (with the excuse that he and Josh need to do some halter training).

But Shula seems to be an oasis of calm while the rest of her family fall apart.

I suppose she’s been there, done that.

“Oliver is living and breathing hunt puppies at the moment”

AND he’s got a brand new panama hat.

Must be marvellous being Oliver, sometimes.

Who left the gate open?

That’s bad country code, that is.

Though, it’s just as bad country code to shut a gate you find open. The farmer could have left it that way on purpose.

Leave it as you find it …

Shula and Caroline

Obviously Caroline and Shula have many years between Mark’s death, but they are living proof of how friendship (and rationality) can rise above blame.

Shula often finds herself thinking about how Mark will never get older, and Caroline often thinks of Guy.

Neither are unhappy with their current chaps, but can’t help sometimes pondering what could have been.

[Shula] “That’s what’s so frustrating with Elizabeth … I understand so much of what she’s going through”

No appetite for Open Farm Sunday

Crickey.

David is indeed in a bad way.

At least Jill has the grandkids

Shula was telling Caroline that Jill is beyond distressed with the state of affairs between David and Elizabeth.

But Jill does take solace in her various grandchildren getting on so well.

Bodes well for the future.

But, then again, there’s plenty time for rivalries and fall-outs.

A delightful Canadian lady wants Lower Loxley wine

Good news for Elizabeth, and proves Lewis’ worth (the sale came from the free samples he was giving away at the gallery).

“Thank heavens. I haven’t let my heart rule my head”

Aye, so you are, Elizabeth.

She’s talking about the Falconry.

She was checking to see what Lewis thought she should do. Whether Roy was right that they should try at least another year.

[Lewis] “There’s no point in hiring Roy if you don’t trust his judgement on something like this”

Lewis has also looked at Roy’s figures, and reckons he’s right.

At which, Elizabeth is relieved. She’d actually already told Jessica that she could stay, after she saw her flying Hector.

[Elizabeth] “Thank heavens. I haven’t let my heart rule my head”

Hmmm.

Not so the case with how Elizabeth is dealing with David’s revelations.

And also not the case when it comes to Freddie wanting to go and visit Brookfield’s new puppy (doesn’t sound like she’s going to let him).

First half century of the season

By Alistair.

Well done, that man.

Wednesday, 30 March 2011

The Archers Thurs 24th March 2011: Lewis, Freddie and Puddings

Free Roy!
Oh, he’s quite happy. Actually.
Emily Onslow
Nasty Elizabeth
Lewis on Julia
Nasty Bert
Roy’s good with flowers
Grant is passionate about his savoys
Topical insert
Lewis says it with puddings

Free Roy!

I thought Caroline and Elizabeth were quite liberal ladies, but they’re starting to sound like slave traders.

Caroline’s agreed to give Roy for another week to Elizabeth.

He’s a man, not a stapler!

Oh, he’s quite happy. Actually.

Later on, as Roy’s talking to Lewis, he’s waxing lyrical about how impressive Lower Loxley is – big, luxurious and has a history.

[Roy] “I feel so energised this week, working here … I love my hotel work, but it’s quite repetitious … and there’s lots of potential”

And he’s off – talking to Elizabeth about strategies – bringing in younger people – rock bands – Glastonbury (which no, Elizabeth, is not quite the same as opera)

[Elizabeth] “I’m meant to be taking it easy this week, but here you are, firing up my brain”

oo-er!

Maybe Roy will have more than one position to fill!

(sorry – that’s very crude)

Anyhoo. I know I’d prefer to work for Caroline over Elizabeth, anyday.

Emily Onslow

VERY exciting news that Emily Onslow can judge the Easter Bonnet competition at Lower Loxley.

[Elizabeth] “she’s got that bijou hat shop in Felpersham”

And I thought having Camilla in Ambridge was a pinnacle!

Nasty Elizabeth

Everyone agrees that Lewis is still looking drawn and tired after his bout of flu.

But only Elizabeth is a bi*ch about it.

[Elizabeth] “You’re not responsible for everyone, mum”

[Jill] “Lewis is family”

Course he is! Which is why Jill is worried and wants to help him.

That Elizabeth can be such a selfish madam. If it isn’t about her, she isn’t interested.

Nevermind that Lewis was Nigel’s stepdad – moi, moi, moi!

Lewis on Julia

[Lewis] “Each room tells a story at Lower Loxley. I still expect to see Julia in every one of them … You and I lives our lives in black and white Roy, but Julia lives hers in a blaze of colour. Like a glorious, angry sunset”

[Roy] “The thing I remember about Julia is that she never could remember my name”

Nasty Bert

There must be something in the air, but Bert also turned nasty when talking to Elizabeth about the allotments.

Well, not exactly nasty. Just a bit pushy and insensitive.

Bert was laying it on thick that the allotments:

[Bert] “was like a last, big generous gesture”

Um.

I’m sure that wasn’t what Nigel was thinking as he screamed down to his death (“I’m so terribly glad I organised those allotments …”)

Bert’s worried as Elizabeth has delayed taking on seasonal staff for the Orangery until everything picks up again – and is determined to protect his beloved allotments.

Fair enough – good cause – laudable passion – but not quite the right timing.

Roy’s good with flowers

Or so it seems, if we can take Elizabeth’s reaction as an indicator.

What did he do to them that was so special?

Grant is passionate about his savoys

… but quite reserved in the shop.

So there you have it.

Topical insert

Elizabeth and Bert are talking about the clocks going back.

Bert’s happy as it means an hour longer in the allotments.

Elizabeth sees it as an hour less sleep.

Lewis says it with puddings

Lewis isn’t having an easy time of it.

Step-son dies. Gets shouted at a lot by his step-daughter-in-law. Gets the flu. And now seems to be peed off by some bloke at Lower Loxley.

[Lewis] “That man is a complete pain. Everything I say is wrong!”

(did anyone have a clue about who he was talking about)

Then Freddie gets on his nerves when Jill is asking what he wants for tea. Freddie wants lots of puddings Jill doesn’t have the ingredients for.

[Lewis] “Oh for heaven sake, Freddie you’re being very demanding. When I was a boy I ate what I was given!”

Jill takes him to task over speaking to Freddie like that. He is just a wee chap, who has lost his dad and recently had a scare over his mum.

Lewis is quite ashamed of himself.

[Lewis] “It’s been a whole since a woman told me off … I shouldn’t have spoken to him like that … I sometimes feel like the spare part around here”

Lewis later seeks Freddie out, as he’s visiting Cranford Chrystal. Lewis starts waffling on about semolina, and how he used to swirl the jam into it to make it pink, when he was a boy.

[Freddie] “Daddy promised I could join his pudding club this year”

Aha! There’s the reason for Freddie’s pudding obsession.

[Freddie] “What’s tapioca?”

[Lewis] “Frog-spawn, made with milk and sugar”

Lewis then mutters something about “lashings of hot custard”, and it seems they’re best mates again.

[Lewis] “I’m being a grumpy old man today. I can hear, but I just can’t stop it. We’re all doing our best, you know”

Saturday, 12 March 2011

The Archers Wed 9th Mar 2011: A sloooooow Ambridge day

So, when we had another slow day, I did 10 in 10. Here’s 6 in 5.

James is visiting in April
Matt’s dictating what Lilian says
Lilian’s crowing reading Jolene right
A cow’s back end is loose
Elizabeth is stressing Lewis out
Freddie leaves for his mates

(there’s nothing more to say!)

The Archers Sun 6th Mar 2011: David finally tells Elizabeth

“I really need to be spending more time at Brookfield.”
Helen’s life in one van
Rolling, Heroin, Midsomer and Grass
Release the cows!
Being nasty to Lewis – nae need!

“I really need to be spending more time at Brookfield.”

Ah – what a relief it was to hear David finally (finally!) utter those words to Elizabeth.

Despite Lily waking up early everyday – and despite Elizabeth wanting David to have a look at the course for the chase (with Nigel’s Go-Getters) – David comes clean to Elizabeth:

[David] “Wouldn’t you be better asking Shula … I really need to be spending more time at Brookfield. Much more time …”

[Elizabeth, a tad shocked] “I completely understand … (you’re not letting me down) no, not at all …”

Elizabeth reckons that the breakdown she had on Friday did her the world of good (when she was told the Twins had got into the Cathedral School, which made her realise that Nigel won’t know anything about that, or anything else to do with the Twins anymore). She now thinks she’s “on top of things”.

Hmmm.

And when David asked if she’d make the call to the agency to get a professional manager, Elizabeth said she “very well get in touch”.

Double Hmmm.

Shortly after David left, Elizabeth went a tad ape at Lily for nattering on, trying to interrupt her when she was speaking to David.

I do think Lily was indeed being “very very rude”, but Elizabeth’s quick temper isn’t suggestive of someone who’s got control.

Helen’s life in one van

Helen’s moved back to Bridge Farm, and it only took one van.

I suppose DVDs do pack down quite neatly …

But then again, Helen won’t have packed everything, as she’s reckoning on only being home for a few weeks.

I do wonder if Tony will come up with another (heartfelt) reason for Helen to stay.

[Helen] “That’s why you’re different dad. No matter what I’m like,. I never drive you away”

Methinks it’ll be hard for Helen to drive away this time.

Rolling, Heroin, Midsomer and Grass

I must have been distracted when I thought I heard David and Pip talking about some “dead grass”. I’m sure I then heard David talking about how the grass will need to be rolled, but maybe some heroin first, and something about Midsomer.

Eh?

Please do correct me.

Release the cows!

[Ruth] “They’ll really benefit from an early bite”

Ruth’s spot on when she said that it means winter is nearly done when the cows go back out in the fields.

I reckon they’re just about relieved to get out as we all are to see they get out.

Here’s a video from a farm near to where I live (it also does cracking ice-cream and has an excellent visitor centre/nature walks/stuff to do). I can’t mention their name as tis blog is strictly non-commercial, but you can work it out from the video.

Hurrah to happy and playful cows!

Being nasty to Lewis – nae need!

I utterly accept Elizabeth is still going through a horrific time, but there is absolutely no excuse (on this whole wide world) for being nasty to our Lewis.

He’s a lovely gent.

Lewis was just trying to help out, by picking up a job that Elizabeth had seemed to forget, but Elizabeth repeated her ‘going ape’ routine on Lewis as she’d done to Lily.

Elizabeth reckons she:

[Elizabeth] “has to keep hold of all of the threads" herself

So shouts at Lewis for just being a nice chap.

She calms down, but mentions that life is about to get even more tricky for her.

She has to tell Byron Chambers that she’s about to cancel his Medieval Banquets as they’re making losses for Lower Loxley.

[Lewis] “(Byron Chambers] “The erasable gentleman with the unfortunate beard?”

[Elizabeth] “As you say, he’s got quite a temper. I’m dreading the meeting already.”

Ach – why deal with it alone Elizabeth?

Saturday, 19 February 2011

The Archers Fri 11th Feb 2011: Matt makes his move

It’s the Graham Ryder meeting
Lewis has bronchitis
Jill’s “honey lyptus might just be the thing”
Pip’s car is red
Harry has a pulse!
Matt has a point about The Bull
Bert’s holding the hurdle, Ruth’s tying it

It’s the Graham Ryder meeting

Which David comes back from in a very chirpy mood.

Not sure if it will actually make any real difference to Ruth.

While she doesn’t get her afternoon nap, David gets to fall asleep while he’s later opening the wine.

Hmmm.

Lewis has bronchitis

Poor chap.

That might also cause a few more headaches for Elizabeth and the rest of Lower Loxley.

But never fear. Jill is on her way with chicken and ‘other goodies’ …

Jill’s “honey lyptus might just be the thing”

Steady on there!

Pip’s car is red

That’s all Ruth can mind on about the car Kenton’s chosen for her.

David has to be arm wrestled into making Kenton find Pip a car for her birthday, that Ruth can’t even remember the make of.

Nice parents. Lucky Pip will be turning 18, so doesn’t have to utterly depend on them.

Should we be sending a food parcel over to Ben and Josh?

Harry has a pulse!

And then even a pint of Shires.

Who’d have thunk it. At least he’s not an utter lamppost …

Jazzer has decided Harry needs to come on a double date with him, as he’s after a lassie who insists on taking her friend with her.

So Harry has agreed, even though he reckons double dates are a

[Harry] “ … recipe for disaster … Jazz has an answer for everything”

(‘Jazz’? Sounds like a term of endearment to me.)

Harry has scoped out his date (he had a quick look at her while she was working, in a café, on Wednesday), and:

[Harry] “She was really attractive … I’m looking forward to meeting her … I get to go out with a pretty girl, Jazzer wants to line up his next conquest”

Surely this can’t go at all well for anyone involved?!?

Matt has a point about The Bull

Matt’s making his move on Jolene.

[Matt] “I’ve noticed you’ve been worried about the pub …(I asked a mate that) if this pub were ever to come up for sale, what would be the chances of developing it for residential purposes … and it’s very good news for you …”

It would seem The Bull could easily be turned into flats, and the car park into muse cottages.

And clever old Matt – he even manages to make out that Jolene would be doing a good thing for Ambridge if she sold up and The Bull became flats. He reckons that Ambridge has a shortage of housing.

[Matt] “People get very upset, but when a pub business becomes unviable, it doesn’t have to be a total loss to the community”

So – Jolene would actually be helping the community.

And it sounded like she bought into Matt’s pitch. She even checked Matt would be interested in buying.

[Jolene] “But I wouldn’t want anything getting out. Not til I’ve made up my mind”

Course, Matt’s lips are well and truly sealed. He needs Jolene to be kept from harassment so that she concentrates on what’s best for her.

And actually – Matt’s right (though quote devious).

If The Bull is so important to Ambridge residents, why is it so quiet? Would it actually be missed if hardly anyone is in there these days?

[Jolene] “Maybe the village pub has had its day”

[Harry] “Just remember you’re the heart and soul of this community .. .as soon as the weather warms up back in droves … trust me, I’m a milkman”

Eh? When were milkmen ever trustworthy?!?

And, name me one time since Sid died that Jolene has been anything but a moping misery, bringing down the entire spirit of The Bull?

What is Harry on about? Does he have some sort of vested interest in The Bull?

Bert’s holding the hurdle, Ruth’s tying it

(which is all something to do with lambing, my fellow non-agricultural eavesdroppers)

Ah – nice to have the dulcet tones of Bert back in Ambridge.

His back must be better, and in good time too for the lambing.

While some may say that it was Bert who put David to sleep before he could open his wine, I was riveted by the sheer wealth of information I learned from Bert about Gloucester Cows.

They are dual purpose (good for milk, good for beef).

Were triple purpose back in the day:

[Bert] “used them as draught animals in the olden days”

(which doesn’t mean that they were used to keep rooms toasty – it means they pulled stuff. I only know because I looked it up …)

And, the first smallpox vaccine came from a Gloucester cow.

Excellent. That’s a classic Archers moment, thank you very much Mr Fry.

Wednesday, 9 February 2011

The Archers Tues 8th Feb 2011: Lynda breaks her sniff record

Ruth knows she’s a farmer
You need to be fresh, not frazzled, for lambing
“I’m not one to complain, Roy …”
The first ‘shut up Kate!’ of 2011
“I’m not one to make a song and dance about status …”
Uh-oh – Lewis has a cough
Who is Graham Ryder?

Ruth knows she’s a farmer

Phew!

That’s a good start, I reckon

You need to be fresh, not frazzled, for lambing

Usha’s popped over to see Ruth, only to find she can’t stop for coffee and is rather stressed.

Ruth hasn’t had a break in 5 weeks, and was astonished to find out from David that Elizabeth had managed to persuade the trustees that she didn’t need a professional manager to be brought in.

While Ruth says she understands that David wants to support Elizabeth, she also needs some support from David herself before she collapses.

[Ruth] “I feel so mean going on like this. What are my problems compared to what Elizabeth is going through?”

Usha does manage to get Ruth to stop for a coffee, and gives Ruth her

[Usha] “You’re not on your own remedy”

Which basically means giving Ruth space to relax and have a friendly ear.

“I’m not one to complain, Roy …”

[Lynda] “I’m not one to complain Roy, you know that, but I do feel I’ve been rather shabbily treated in all this … I’m supposed to be senior receptionist here … so I’m rather concerned I wasn’t given advance notice of next week’s special visit”

[Roy] “It wasn’t possible, for security reasons”

[Lynda] “I’m, very disappointed I must say”

[Roy] “I presume this about you not being on duty that afternoon”

[Lynda] “Quite”

Lynda is very (very) sniffy about not knowing about Camilla’s visit, which has led to her not being on the rota.

And now no-one will swap their shift with her.

To make matters worse, Caroline actually suggested to Lynda that she could simply stand at the gate of Grey Gables with the “rest of the village”.

Oh dear. Did Lynda not appreciate the very idea that she’d have to be one of the great unwashed!

[Lynda] “I won’t be doing that … well, really!”

Lynda continues – appalled that her being in charge of the rotas really doesn’t mean that at all. She’s not allowed to change them in this instance, so that means she’s really not in charge at all.

Dear me. Lynda is in full toddler tantrum mode today. Lots and lots of sniffing.

The first ‘shut up Kate!’ of 2011

Interrupting Roy’s ‘chat’ with Lynda (which I suspect he was actually quite glad about), Kate’s on one. Again.

[Kate] “I’m getting really fed up of Hayley calling me up and implying that I’m a bad mother”

[Roy] “Why do you think that is?”

[Kate] “ … because I’m taking Phoebe on the trip of her life, because I’m enriching her life with a new culture and new relationships”

[Roy] “No, because you won’t think things through before you make rash promises … what’s so difficult about talking to use first? We could avoid all these traumas …”

[Kate] “What don’t you trying thinking of Phoebe for a change!”

(big pause while Roy gathered his anger – I was right there with him!)

[Roy] “Meaning what, exactly!?!?!”

Kate was stupid enough to try and make out that Hayley and Roy only cared about her missing some school – and that they should be thinking about the horrific time she’s had as Lily and Freddie’s pal (really? I didn’t know they were so close).

As Roy pointed out, Hayley’s been spending a lot of time looking after and helping Lily and Freddie, as well as Phoebe.

So it was a bad argument for Kate to pick.

Not to be outdone, Kate then picks on Roy not wanting to pay for Phoebe’s trip. Which he didn’t say, but cost is obviously an issue – especially as neither Roy nor Hayley seem to be that well off.

As Roy tells Kate to leave, she tells him that they won’t have to pay a penny.

Hmmm.

Either Brian’s going to have to pay, or Kate will yet again break another promise to Phoebe, but will blame Roy and Hayley.

Is it too late to turn Kate back into a silent character?

“I’m not one to make a song and dance about status …”

Robert has taken Lynda to The Bull for one of Freda’s pies, and to get away from the stress at Grey Gables.

[Lynda] “I’m just feeling undervalued … you know me Robert, I’m not one to make a song and dance about status …”

[Robert] “You’re the last one, I’d say”

Ah bless Robert, and his Lynda coloured spectacles.

Robert then has a moment of sheer brilliance in its simplicity.

Instead of trying to swap a shift, surely Grey Gables needs to increase their staffing on “an important occasion like this”

[Lynda] “Oh Robert, I’ve said this before, but you really are a genius!”

And so it came to pass. Lynda told a sniggering Roy, and a slightly bemused Caroline, of her plan – and that she would “step into the breach” without pay.

Caroline tells her she will be paid, but one does wonder if she ever regrets hiring Lyndee in the first place …

Uh-oh – Lewis has a cough

Well, quite a “horrid” one, according to Caroline.

With things slightly slipping at Lower Loxley (Roy will have to organise most of a forthcoming event Grey Gables is holding there), Lewis having to go off sick really would be disaster.

I see Ruth ever inching further towards Brian’s arms …

Who is Graham Ryder?

Seriously – anyone know?

It would seem he’s Ruth and David’s last hope of a normal life – the last chance they have of Elizabeth seeing sense and bringing in a manager.

Who he???

Tuesday, 1 February 2011

The Archers Tues 1st Feb 2010: The dreaded wedding

Clarrie has a strange feeling
Kenton hates lilies
The Eileen Titcombe Book of Household Management and Stain Removal
The disaster of a wedding which just wasn’t
Joe won’t eat homemade bread
This is a local stately home for local people
£4.20 for a pint at The Bull
Another reason for Jolene to be morose

Clarrie has a strange feeling

Clarrie’s off out with the WI and Nic for the day, and feels decidedly odd.

Like she’s playing truant.

Nope, Clarrie. That’s just the following one gets when one doesn’t have to warm Joe’s socks … cut his toenails … cook the tea … do the washing up … work at Bridge Farm ……….

It’s called having time off, and having fun. Enjoy!

Kenton hates lilies

As they seemingly smell like air freshener, and they could leave stains on wedding clothes from the pollen (so Lewis adds stain removal to his list).

I better go cancel those lilies I got for Kenton for Valentine’s day …

The Eileen Titcombe Book of Household Management and Stain Removal

Now there’s a thought for a bestselling book.

Mrs Beeton must be quaking in her grave.

The disaster of a wedding which just wasn’t

So nothing really happened at Mrs Barrington-Hughes’ daughter’s wedding.

Some woman fell off her high heels and ripped her tights (but Eileen Titcombe had a spare pair). A vegan bloke couldn’t really eat anything (but didn’t seem that bothered). And the ‘black sheep’ table seemed to be just full of smokers.

And that was that.

Methinks the wedding was just a ploy to make David utterly lose the plot and get back to his cattle.

The only remotely interesting (droll) part of the wedding was Jill’s comments on a woman’s hat:

[Jill] “Good heavens! What has that woman got on her head … it looks like she’s got a cactus growing out of her ear”

Joe won’t eat homemade bread

[Clarrie] “Joe broke a tooth on a particularly crusty loaf and now won’t eat anything but shop bought”

So Clarrie has stopped making it.

Nic's been inspired to start making her own, after the WI trip (where they all had a go at a bakery).

(and I have nothing more to say on that – boy, was this a slow day in Ambridge!)

This is a local stately home for local people

Elizabeth still won’t entertain the thought of an outsider coming into Lower Loxley to be its manager.

She may not have a choice, if the Trustees decide different.

£4.20 for a pint at The Bull

My village doesn’t have a pub.

Is that expensive these days?!?

Another reason for Jolene to be morose

Valentine’s day is the date Sid proposed to her.

So it was left to Fallon to dog out the Valentine’s decorations – then her and Harry to come up with gimmicks.

Which is themed cocktails.

Again.

Sorry to be utterly negative for once – but Jolene is starting to grate my nerves something chronic.

The sooner Jolene leaves – or gets it together with Kenton – the better.

Monday, 31 January 2011

The Archers Mon 31st Jan 2011: Elizabeth is manic

We missed Kate again!
Lewis makes lists
David’s on the wine
Minnie the Moocher isn’t suitable
Lock Elizabeth and Jolene in a room?
Bets on for Brian inviting Ruth
Kenton should never (ever) say “I promise”
Planning problems?
Matt wants a shooter

We missed Kate again!

Woo-hoo!

Kate left for College before they turned the microphones on.

That means we haven’t heard from her for more or less the whole of this year!

Brilliant.

But. Brian seems to think Kate’s not quite behaving like herself.

She’s leaving early to get to College. Doing her homework. And packed Phoebe off early back to Roy and Hayley.

Brian seems to think it’s wonderful:

[Brian] “Long may it continue, this exemplary diligence”

Hmmm. Sounds dodgy to me.

Lewis makes lists

And ticks things off.

There’s a chap everyone needs around.

David’s on the wine

[David] “Distribution? What does that mean? My knowledge of the wine business only extends as far as picking the grapes .. and drinking the stuff, obviously”

[Elizabeth] “I don’t want to let this slip. It was one of Nigel’s great dreams to make Lower Loxley wine a classic”

Will someone (anyone) please make Elizabeth get in a professional manager, and let David get back to his cows … and Ruth!

Minnie the Moocher isn’t suitable

For a bride.

So says Elizabeth.

Lock Elizabeth and Jolene in a room?

And don’t let them out until Elizabeth trades some of her “manic energy” for Jolene’s complete lack of interest.

Bets on for Brian inviting Ruth

[Matt on Brian at Brookfield] “I heard he’d been getting his hands dirty”

And Matt said that with quite clear saucy intonation!

Brian’s also planning a business trip to Paris, which he’s said he’ll try and meet Debbie at, but doesn’t want Jennifer to tag along.

[Brian] “it’d be strictly a business trip, straight over and straight back”

Hmmm. Where have we heard that before?

Kenton should never (ever) say “I promise”

To be fair, Kenton does seem to be very well organised for the wedding tomorrow. And he has the ever dependable list-making Lewis helping.

Umbrellas? Check. Pianist? Check. Warm rooms? Check.

He’s also completely on-top of any cake issues.

[Kenton] “I’m well aware of catastrophic cake collapse”

So all’s well?

I thought so, until Kenton said:

“Lewis and I can handle the wedding. I promise you”

*shudder*

That surely can’t be good …

Planning problems?

[Brian] “I know … all is take s is a Lynda Snell to discover that the site is a habitat of endangered toads”

[Jennifer, on Richard Thwaite complaining about his neighbour’s extension] “ …’Adversely affect the quality of darkness in the garden’ … and he got away with it. The application was rejected”

But never fear – Matt reckons his ‘source’ knows that the planning application for the mart will get through no problems.

(phew!)

Matt wants a shooter

(well, actually, a shooting)

Matt tried to persuade Brian to let him shoot this Friday, even though the season closes tomorrow.

Matt wants to take a potentially lucrative client out, but had to settle for golf, as Brian wouldn’t be persuaded to break the law.

[Jennifer] “And shooting’s something you can’t do on the quiet”

*snort*

Friday, 28 January 2011

The Archers Wed 26th Jan 2011: Clarrie turns nasty

Bring back our Clarrie!
Elizabeth redeploys David
How could he forget the tray?
We know “your lot” likes cheese
Clarrie doesn’t want to give up yoghurt
Kathy in a huff?
Who is more fragile?

Bring back our Clarrie!

Now I know I’m saying that Clarrie’s a Saint, and should spend more time on herself, but I’m really not liking this grump and quite snide Clarrie.

She’s still looking after her menfolk to the nth degree:

[Clarrie] “Joe, I’ve warmed your socks up”

But she’s keen to again get to work early to “beat” Vicky, later somehow managing to then trick Vicky into loading the delivery van the wrong way round

(well, Vicky claimed “Well it wasn’t my fault … she misled me!”)

However, that was nothing compared to the quite uncomfortably hard time Clarrie gave Emma:

(as Emma turns up on her doorstep)

[Clarrie, sounding irritated] “Oh. Emma … this is a surprise”

[Emma, sounding unsure] “I nice one, I hope”

[Clarrie] “You look rough”

[Emma] “Turnips and shortbread … not a great combination …”

[Clarrie] “Anyway, what did you want, cause I need to get on”

[Emma] “I just wondered how you’re coping?”

[Clarrie] “Fine, thanks for asking”

[Emma] “Cause if there’s anything you need …”

[Clarrie] “It’s a bit late now, ain’t it!. It’s when I had the plaster on that I needed the help, Emma”

Ouch!

Entirely Emma’s fault for not caring or helping when Clarrie broke her arm.

And she’s only trying now because she’s jealous of Nic and Clarrie becoming so close.

But that was not our ‘usual’ Clarrie.

Elizabeth redeploys David

Keen to crack on with planning (seemingly it’s time to bet on with Easter!), Elizabeth suggests to David that his:

[Elizabeth] “strengths lie in managing the estate”

Which is quite right.

So off David goes, back outside, back to dealing with beasts and fences.

But, he does insist on keeping the wedding.

Why?

How could he forget the tray?

After the fuss Mrs Barrington-Hughes made, and the anger David then felt, over finding an antique tray big enough to fit the new cake – how could David forget to check whether Lower Loxley actually had a suitable one?

The tray, David. Don’t forget the tray.

We know “your lot” likes cheese

What is it with the Grundy lot and cheese?

First they must have cheese on their cauliflower.

Now they won’t touch anything other than cheddar.

Maybe Clarrie’s new skills will inspire new culinary delights?

Clarrie doesn’t want to give up yoghurt

But Pat insists that she learns-up about the cheese making, so that she can help out while Helen isn’t at work.

But Clarrie isn’t interested, as she thinks it’s a ploy for Bridge Farm to keep Vicky.

[Clarrie] “I wouldn’t ever want to give up making the yoghurt … just so you know”

Then – all change as Pat explains Vicky is only there for that week, to help ease Clarrie back in. After then, it’s back to normal.

And … our Clarrie is back!

She even offers to bake a cake for Vicky’s leaving tea.

That’s better.

Kathy in a huff?

Kathy hasn’t been over yet to see Henry.

I can’t really blame her – Pat telling her not to come round so often must have hurt and made it difficult to visit again.

Who is more fragile?

[David] “I sorted out the foods fads … sorry, dietary requirements … of this orchestra … a vegan piccolo player and a trombonist with a nut allergy”

[Lewis] “Well you’re doing Elizabeth a big favour”

[David] “I have to”

[Lewis] “Why did this happen. Why? It’s so senseless”

And both Lewis and David agree that Elizabeth is still too “fragile” to be back at work.

I don’t think there’s anyone at Lower Loxley who is ready yet to take on daily life after Nigel.

Sunday, 23 January 2011

The Archers Tues 18th Jan 2011: Clarrie’s free!

Brian’s a helpful chap
The League of Friends are indeed always nice
Clarrie’s looking forward to washing a mug
This Ambridge eavesdropping is brought to you by Skype …
Mart plans are at the Council
“Some economist from Felpersham”
Joe’s made some mistletoe sales
Clarrie lets slip to Jim
Nigel was idiosyncratic at organising

Brian’s a helpful chap

It looks like Brian’s offer to help at Brookfield wasn’t just a one off – and seems to come with no strings.

Helping out this time with the strawing down (which I think has something to do with the cows being inside), he also volunteers to take over Bert’s silage duties.

Though still struggling into work, Bert’s back is too sore to let him be of much use.

So it's Brian to the rescue, again.

I'd almost be suspicious, if it was just Ruth that was the female offering at Brookfield.

Though I suppose there is Pip ... surely not!?!

The League of Friends are indeed always nice

Preferring to get going to Clarrie’s hospital appointment rather than have a cup of tea at home, Nic was quite right that the League of Friends are nice people.

They’re to be found volunteering in hospitals – information, cups of tea and often raising money for equipment.

Well done folks!

Clarrie’s looking forward to washing a mug

Concerned about her job:

[Clarrie] “Vicky’s already got her feet too far under the table for my liking … I don't want her getting no ideas about that job for the long term”

And getting increasingly frustrated about not being able to do the housework and cooking (though it has to be said that Joe managed not to poison anyone), Clarrie can’t wait to get her arm out of plaster.

She’s especially looking forward to washing up her coffee mug properly.

As much as I can understand the mug symbolising Clarrie being able to get her world back under control … there’s also a part of me that thinks Clarrie does actually sees being able to wash her own mug is a genuine treat.

[Clarrie] “There’s a mug there that’s going to be washed with an inch of its life”

Will that woman ever get a proper break? (excuse the pun)

This Ambridge eavesdropping is brought to you by Skype …

Is it just me, or is the Aldridge family being sponsored by Skype?

That was yet another mention because of Nollie’s birthday tomorrow.

Maybe the extra income is why Brian is happy to give his time for free to Brookfield.

Mart plans are at the Council

All seems to be going well with Borchester Land and Amside’s Mart plans.

Though Brian reckons Matt’s still pulling Lilian’s strings, she is “putting up a good fight” at the Board table.

The plans for the mart are finished, and are now in front of the Council’s planning department.

Surely that’s where the trouble really starts?!?

“Some economist from Felpersham”

Wowzer – those farmers sure know how to book a scintillating key note speaker for their conference!

Seemingly Adam’s going to translate (he studied Agricultural economics), and the economist’s topic, “Global Soft Commodity prospects”, Brian reckoned would be:

“food for thought”

(and he said that with, again, no pun intended)

Each to their own, I suppose.

Joe’s made some mistletoe sales

But Clarrie reckons:

[Clarrie] “anyone that’s lived here a while isn’t so keen … mainly the townies that’s taking it … Joe could be up to a lot worse”

True.

But does Clarrie realise that he’s been using one of her sheets?

Clarrie lets slip to Jim

Whoops!

Clarrie does seem to have a tendency of telling folks things they would probably be better off not knowing.

Though it seems to be entirely innocent on her part. Unlike when Susan tells her home truths …

Anyway, expect Jim to give Joe a telling any day now. His reaction to being told that he’d “inspired” Joe to go round the village, charging folks for his Druid services, didn’t sound entirely positive.

[Clarrie] “he’s a funny old stick”

Nigel was idiosyncratic at organising

David’s having a struggle trying to work out Nigel’s way of working.

He’s not sure what Nigel meant when he ticked something (as it would seem Nigel also used crosses for when he’d completed some tasks); Nigel had a bit of an eccentric filing system (Royal’s Rink hire was under I for Ice rink); and David is a tad concerned that all of this will mean he and Lewis will miss something important.

Lewis is a very calm chap to have around, but David seems to be edging onto panic (on top of his guilt, and sheer exhaustion).

That David can’t find a trace of the ice sculpture is his biggest problem at the moment (maybe the sculpture goes the same way as the ice? … sorry …).

Spotting that David is about to potentially self-combust, Lewis tries to suggest that David really doesn’t need to do all of this work.

After all, Elizabeth didn’t ask him to – and probably should start looking for a professional manager for Lower Loxley.

That the Lower Loxely trustees are meeting in 3 weeks sounds a bit ominous.

Maybe David should relax a bit now, in case Elizabeth will need him more in a few weeks time …

Wednesday, 12 January 2011

The Archers Wed 12th Jan 2010: Jill at seven

Poor Kenton
Joe in vestments?
The simple pleasures
Guilt’s not attractive on David
Those early hurts are the deepest

Poor Kenton

[Kenton] “I wished she’d asked me … well, it doesn’t matter. I don’t want to bother her now that it’s sorted … she knows that (David’s) the reliable one”

[Shula] “Well, he clearly didn’t want to do it which is why I offered … why, what did you want to say?”

[Kenton] “Well, just what fun he was”

It’s not nice being Kenton sometimes.

The black sheep of the family, to the point where he believes that he no-one else will trust him to say the right thing at his best friend’s funeral.

It’s a shame that neither Shula nor David thought of Kenton. Elizabeth is hardly best placed to think of anything …

Joe in vestments?

*shudder*

Still, at least Joe is providing some light relief to the Archer clan.

Kenton and Shula are guffawing away at the fact that Jim hasn’t as yet spotted that Joe’s more interested in a few extra £ than ancient history.

And, at the idea of Joe trying to make more money by becoming a Druid priest:

[Kenton] “ …a priest in white vestments climbs an oak tree and cuts down the mistletoe with a golden sycle”

[Shula] “Sounds quite beautiful”

[Kenton] “Well, not when the priest is Joe Grundy”

While Shula is tempted to get Joe in to do his new found magic on her trees, Kenton's more in the mood for a sing song.

Quite bizarrely, Shula joins in:

“Hey down (Ho down) Derry derry down
Among the leaves so green-o”

Odd, as that was quite a prominent song in the last run of Lark Rise to Candleford.

Maybe Kenton and Shula watch it (Shula, I can imagine, but Kenton? Is he that ,lonely?)

And even more bizarre yet, Helen walks in as Shula and Kenton are singing, making them both behave like naughty school children caught misbehaving.

Still, any laughs right now must be welcomed.

The simple pleasures

At first a bit perturbed to find Shula and Kenton singing in a house of mourning.

[Helen] “They seemed in an …odd … mood”

Helen soon settles down to both comfort Elizabeth, and also make much of her wee boy Henry.

Not that Helen went overboard, or Elizabeth was not welcoming a happy diversion.

All Helen wants to do it to be able to care for Henry, but that’s difficult when he’s still in hospital.

She just wants to be able to give him a bath.

[Elizabeth] “Nigel said it was lucky we had twins as we both had one to bath”

It’s the simple moments that stay with us.

Guilt’s not attractive on David

I’ll admit I reckon David’s quite right to feel a bit of guilt (why else where they both up on the roof?), but he’s going to drive himself insane if he keep being so down on himself.

Despite putting his entire life on hold to run Lowe Loxley with Lewis (including a big society wedding which sounds a bit tricky – likely more of that to follow), David can’t give himself a break for not wanting to speak at Nigel’s funeral.

Would anybody actually expect him to?

Those early hurts are the deepest

[Jill] “You know I was brought up by my mother’s cousin …”

[Elizabeth] “Yes, aunt Daphne, because your father died when you were a baby”

[Jill] “Yes, and then my mother .. she struggled to keep out little family together, but it was too much for her”

“I’ve never talked about how I felt .. .what it did to me .. .it went too deep”

Jill’s talking to Elizabeth about her own experiences of death as a young child.

Her father died when she was a baby. Her mother when she was but knee high. And her Aunt, in trying to protect her from the pain of her mother’s death, decided to keep Jill away from the funeral.

[Jill] “I know what it’s like to not say goodbye … it made me think people could disappear without any explanation .. people you loved, people you thought loved you … you couldn’t trust them ..

“I used to be a very wary person Elizabeth, I didn’t want to be hurt again …but then I met your father, and he showed me I was wrong. He ;loved me, and I know he’d never leave ,me.

“He taught me to love again, so I could start to forgive my mother .. .for abandoning me, for leaving me without a word and never coming back …”

[Elizabeth] “But she couldn’t, you must have known that, she was dead”

[Jill] “I was seven, Elizabeth”

[Elizabeth] “Oh mum, I wish you’d told me before.”

[Jill] “But I had to tell you how important it is – give Lilt and Freddie that chance. Let them say goodbye to their father, please …”

All of which was a bit of a teary moment for me.

Jill was crying at her own pain, and at the thought of her grandchildren having to feel the same.,

Elizabeth was crying as her mum crying.

But, as sad as it all was, at least Kenton managed to both help Elizabeth out, while also being able to find his proper place at Nigel’s funeral.

Lily and Freddie are now going to the funeral. Which means Elizabeth doesn’t want to speak (in case she breaks down).

Which means Kenton will have his chance to pay homage to his mate, properly.

Good.