Tom terrifies Brenda: Wed 10.10.12

The Archers Wednesday 10th October 2012

• Matt’s playing it dumb
• Tom has a freezer (but still not a kitchen)
• Phoebe nae mates
• Jamie nae mates
• James is coming home next week
• Tom’s chosen his and Brenda’s home

Matt’s playing it dumb

Matt’s have a casual chat with Lilian about Darrell’s new work at St. Matthews, restoring the Lady Chapel. He’s wondering if it’s a local firm doing the work …

He knows.

She knows.

One would have thought Matt would be slightly nicer to Lilian, considering Paul is back.


Tom has a freezer (but still not a kitchen)

Seems a place which stores frozen food has lost an order, so can store Tom’s ready meals. (How riveting!).

I’m not entirely sure how that helps, considering Tom hasn’t got a kitchen. Which surely means that he can’t cook the meals to then freeze them.

Ach well, he seems happy enough.


Phoebe nae mates

Phoebe had arranged to go to the picture with her friends. Then they called to say they were going to an earlier showing, which meant she couldn’t get there in time.

[Phoebe] “They obliviously didn’t want me.”

But at least she has Josh.

Who seems to be spending a lot of time doing work at her place.

[Josh] “I can’t believe you don’t like strimming!”

Well, Phoebe does. Just not next to the electric fence.

[Phoebe] “It’s weird, it was actually easier to go to South Africa and make new friends than trying to get in with the old ones.”

Phoebe reckons her Ambridge friends have “bonded more” while she was away. Well, young lassies will be young lassies.

Josh was wondering if Phoebe’s friends were being “funny” because of Vicky and Mike’s baby.

[Phoebe] “No. I told everyone straight out that the baby has down’s … I’m not embarrassed about it, Josh.”

Good girl.


Jamie nae mates

Kathy’s worrying about Jamie (again).

He doesn’t like College. He hasn’t got any friends at College, what with Marty being in the year below, and him having split up with Natalie.

What’s she pondering? Will she let Jamie leave to go cut down trees?


James is coming home next week

Balls.


Tom’s chosen his and Brenda’s home

Seems Tom’s plan has always been to build his and Brenda’s own house on Bridge Farm land.

As they’re out walking:

[Brenda] “Your pigs have got the best view on the farm.”

Seems they’re up a hill, where Tom used to make holly dens with Helen and John. Happy memories, and (what Tom hopes) will be a happy future.

[Tom] “I feel so lucky, to make a living out of what I love doing. And having a future at Bridge Farm.”

He then shows Brenda the perfect spot for their house … Brenda sounds scared.

When will Tom notice that Brenda is truly not that keen on taking about their future? He seemed to get it when he spoke to Pat the other day, but also seems to just as quickly forget … and push Brenda into a conversation she doesn’t want.

This doesn’t feel like it’s going to end well for Tom.

No panto this year, it’s Shakespeare instead: Wed 26.09.12

The Archers Wednesday 26th September 2012

• I miss the Panto …
• Damn you, Stratford upon Avon!
• Keep a special eye out for Bob Pullen
• Wonky carrots at Bridge Farm
• Something electric blue
• Brenda’s not content with Tom?
• You shouldn’t say Down’s Syndrome baby

I miss the Panto …

Christmas Around the World last year, and no Panto again this year.

*sigh*

I like an Ambridge Panto, I do.


Damn you, Stratford Upon Avon!

If you hadn’t inspired Lynda, I might have had my Panto.

Instead, Lynda’s has decreed that the Christmas Extravaganza for 2012 will be Shakespearian.

Jim suggests Henry V.

Lynda does not concur.

[Lynda] “Christmas, after all, is a time for laughter and lightness, not death and destruction.”

Though Jim was happy to lend his opinion, he wasn’t so keen to attend the meeting to fox the Christmas plans. Lynda had to strong arm him.

[Lynda] “If the village is to get it right, we need a diversity of voices.”

Vicky didn’t take any persuading. Though she would obviously welcome some distraction from her worries, Lynda has also told Vicky she’s badly needed.

[Vicky] “Lynda needs some artistic expertise …”

[Brenda] “Sounds ominous …”

Indeed it was!

Lynda served volovants.

(which I know is very seventies, but I actually do quite like a volovant).

Anyhoo – the conversation went between whether it should be As You Like It, or Much Ado.

Riveting.

Panto!

Just do a Panto!!!

(ahem, sorry, excuse me)

They choose Much Ado About Nothing.

Which Lynda desperately wants Jim to play a role in.

[Lynda] “Do you know, I think you’d make a wonderful Dogberry … blending his jobs worthy ambitions with a dry and ironic wit. What do you say?”

Lynda put her sexy voice on at the end of that.

Terrifying …


Keep a special eye out for Bob Pullen

Lynda’s mentioned that he’s looking even more fragile.


Wonky carrots at Bridge Farm

[Tony] “The wonkier they are, the better they taste.”

Ah, Tony’s in fine feckle these days.

That’ll be because he hasn’t got to do every milking, and they’ve even got “casuals” in to  help lift the spuds.


Something electric blue

Is what Brenda has bought Vicky. New maternity wear.


Brenda’s not content with Tom?

Pat’s noticed there’s something not entirely right with Tom.

Now, that could be one of many, many things … and not even woes about his ready meals.

She corners Tom, and gets him to talk.

[Tom] “It’s not the business … it’s Brenda. I’m just, I dunno, sometimes, I’m just not sure she’s as committed to our relationship as I am … whenever I try to talk to her about the future, she always wants to change the subject … I can’t shake off the idea that there’s something else.”

[Pat] “She might just simply be content with what you’re got at the moment, You’re happy, living together, you both have a healthy degree of independence.”

[Tom] “You’re probably right mum, but wouldn’t you like to see us make a bigger commitment. Wouldn’t you like more grandchildren?”

[Pat] “Enjoy what you have together, and let the future unfold as it sees fit. None of us know what’s round the corner, Tom.”

Sound words Pat.

Will Tom listen?

Or will he keep pushing?

The simple answer is that Tom’s easily distracted.

The holiday company he supplied ready meals to has placed another order.
Seems it’s a big one - for meatballs and sausage casserole. They want it for the October half term. AND they want sausage and bacon for their farmhouse packs.

Which makes Tom forget all of his worries about Brenda.

[Tom] “We are a stonkingly good team.”

You shouldn’t say Down’s Syndrome baby

Lynda said it to Vicky.

[Vicky] “You should say baby with down syndrome. It’s about putting the baby first, and the syndrome second, because it’s a baby like another baby, just a bit different.”

Well said Vicky.

This baby is indeed lucky to have you as a mum.

Pavel leaves, Adam tells Jennifer everything: Wed 19.09.12

The Archers Wednesday 19th September 2012

• A last minute trip to Thailand
• Folks are avoiding Mike
• Vicky and Mike  = baby = no wedding for Tom
• Pavel was a just a lost young ‘un?
• Didn’t Adam realise Pavel was gay?!?

A last minute trip to Thailand

Oh aye, we can all just nip off and do that.

Seems Kenton and Jolene can certainly do so.

Funny thing that. Considering Jill paid for most of their trip …


Folks are avoiding Mike

Mike thinks his mates are avoiding him. Especially when he goes into The Bull.

[Tom] “Maybe they just don’t know what to say.”

[Brenda] “They knew what to say when he first told them … they were really nice then … if they’re saying what he thinks he might have said, and that’s what’s upsetting him.”

Seems Roy is taking Mike fishing on Saturday, so he’ll hopefully be able to talk properly then.

Thank goodness Roy’s not a ‘proper’ macho type bloke. Who would Mike (eventually) talk to if he was?


Vicky and Mike  = baby = no wedding for Tom

Are Tom and Brenda going to get married?

I had been saying, for a fair while, that Tom and Brenda have made little mention of their engagement or wedding. They seemed to make a fuss getting engaged, then that was that.

Recently, Tom’s been bringing it up.

Unfortunately for Brenda, mention of their wedding is in the same sentence as Tom’s bloomin’ ready meals …

Tom’s told Brenda he’s got them a nice supper ready.

Guess what?

Yup.

Ready meals.

Brenda put a brave face on it though.

[Brenda] “ …that’s all a woman wants, a partner who knows how to use a microwave.”

[Tom] “You ain't seen nothing yet, wait til you hear about my plans for our wedding breakfast!”

[Brenda] “As long as they don’t involve ready meals, I don’t mind.”

Actually, I think Brenda does mind very much indeed. I thought she’d rather there was no wedding breakfast at all …

And right enough, Brenda finds her excuse.

Brenda was over at Vicky’s, showing her a website she’d found with a huge selection of wall freezes.

Vicky’s talking about how good it is that Mike seems to be on side again:

[Vicky] “He’s starting to want the baby now, that’s the difference …I was lucky to be pregnant at all, I’d given up hope … It makes it all the most previous. My daughter will always need me, and I’ll always be there to love and support her. Does that sound selfish?   I’ve got so much love to give a child, I’ve been saving it all these years, and now I know why, because my little girl is going to need all of it, every bit of it.”

(my word – that baby really couldn’t be hoping for a better mother)

When Brenda got back to Tom:

[Brenda] “I can’t believe how I’ve underestimated that women.”

Both she and Tom agree that they’re both committed to supporting Mike, Vicky and their baby.

Which Brenda reckons means putting the wedding on hold.

Tom had been thinking about dates, but:

[Brenda] “Not at the moment, not with this other stuff going on.”

Now, I’m not saying Brenda is callously using excuses, but it does seem a bit neat.

Hmmm …


Pavel was a just a lost young ‘un?

As Adam was trying to herd all of the fruit pickers to the airport, and onto their plane (were they all Polish?), Pavel had been desperately trying to get a word with Adam alone. When he finally does corner him:

[Pavel] “You know it was special for me … I’m not going to make a scene, but I couldn’t leave without telling you how great it was to be part of the wonderful life you and Ian have … you're very lucky, Adam, to have all this, and to share it with Ian. Look after him, he’s a lovely man. And I’ve had the time of my life.”

Oh.

It would seem Pavel wasn’t a villain after all.

Just a young chap experiencing the world – and one where he could be himself without fear.

Still, I don’t quite believe Adam was the only other gay man in Borchester (apart from Ian). Surely Pavel could have spread his oats just a wee bit further?


Didn’t Adam realise Pavel was gay?!?

Adam’s back from the airport, feeling rather sheepish about the way he’s treated Pavel.

He was trying to pass it off as not having liked Pavel, but Jennifer knows better …

[Jennifer] “I’d have thought you’d have got on rather well … I wondered if perhaps he might be gay, having   a   hard time being accepted … call it a mother’s instinct, and you didn’t realise?”

[Adam] “No. I wish I had. I didn’t know he was gay until …”

[Jennifer] “You're not saying that something happened between you and Pavel?”

[Adam] “Yes something happened. I slept with him.”

Adam tells Jennifer that after the massive argument he’d had with Ian, he’d gone to a gay bar in Felpersham. Pavel was there. They had a few drinks. And, well … Adam realised Pavel was in fact gay.

Poor Jennifer has been there, heard it, dealt with it so many times. Having affairs really in the Aldridge (and Macy) family hobby.

[Jennifer] “But however bad the row was, he loves you so much … and with Pavel of all people! You were his boss!”

[Adam] “And the way I’ve behaved ever since has been worse, today I just couldn’t wait to see the back of him, and then, he was so generous to me. So kind, really.”

[Jennifer] “And you found you still had feelings for him?”

[Adam] “I did it with a vulnerable young man, finding his way in the world, what was I thinking …. I don’t know if I can live with the guilt.”

[Jennifer] “We’ll you’ll have to.”

[Adam] “Should I tell Ian?”

[Jennifer] “No. Absolutely not.”

[Adam] “But how am I going to make it right?”

[Jennifer] “Love Ian like he should be loved. Cherish every moment of your life together, and take care of what you’ve got. It’s so previous. And you know that now.”

I can see Jennifer’s point. Adam telling Ian wouldn’t make a difference for the better – just would ease Adam’s guilt.

But shouldn’t Ian be given the choice?

Wouldn’t Jennifer want to know if Brian wandered … again?

Mike talks to Neil: Fri 07.09.12

The Archers Friday 7th September 2012

• Matt gets cheeky
• Who does Adam think he is?
• Neil likes rubbing pigs’ ears
• Susan’s desire to eat pig feed
• “Until she found out she were one number short”
• Tom hasn’t got a kitchen

Matt gets cheeky

[Matt] “I nearly sent a carrier pigeon but I was afraid you’d gone feral and might eat it!”

Poor Darrell. He can’t avoid Matt forever, so goes into the office to see him. Matt keeps him waiting. Not a great start …

[Darrell] “Matt, Danny’s waiting in the van!”

[Matt] “Well I hope you left a window open and a bowl of water … he’ll cope, he’s good at sitting on his backside doing nothing.”

Matt wants to know what Darrell’s been up to at Arthur and Joyce’s. He’s none too happy that Darrell hasn’t ripped up all of the floorboards yet. Darrell almost (almost) says an outright ‘no’ to Matt.

[Darrell] “You’re not that kind of landlord are you matt. You wouldn’t want to hurt them, would you?”

Aha!

Good on you Darrell, turning Matt’s claims to Lilian round on him.


Who does Adam think he is?

Adam demands Pavel into the office.

He sounded like Lord of the Manor.

A Lord that’s been caught with the footman …

… or actually, the Lord who has to deal with a footman who he’s been dallying with, and who has now tried to dally with his … erm … wedded Lord. (well, Ian ain't no lady!)

[Adam] “You tried to get off with him!”

[Pavel] “You need to do what little Ruairi says. Chill.”

Pavel is entirely unrepentant at coming on to Ian. He reckons they have chemistry, so why not.

[Pavel] “Well, now you don’t like me, maybe he wants to make a mistake too …”

Pavel tells Adam that Ian was actually interested in him. That he enjoyed their kiss. That Ian has said it was “nice”.

What a liar! He didn’t even manage to engage with Ian lips, let alone have Ian tell him anything other than ‘get out’!

[Pavel] “You don’t like me anymore. Why mustn’t I try elsewhere?”

Neil likes rubbing pigs’ ears

And I’m sure the pigs like it too.


Susan’s desire to eat pig feed

 [Neil] “You know what I was just thinking?”

[Mike] “Pigs are awkward animals?”

[Neil] “The way she was hovering up the feed …”

Neil’s remembering a time when Susan was pregnant, and she was helping to feed the pigs.

[Neil] “I caught her staring at the pig nuts like she wanted to eat one.”

Seems it was Susan’s cravings time. Which sets Neil wondering about Vicky:

[Neil] “No funny little cravings?”

[Mike] “No, we ain’t been laughing that much actually.”

And at last, Mike talks about how he feels …


“Until she found out she were one number short”

(Mike’s blunt way of outing it, but I suppose he’s got every right)

[Mike] “everything’s got worse, like a big black cloud has come down on us, and I can’t see a way through … she thought she’d never have the chance to be a mother, this was like winning the lottery. Until we found she were one number short.”

Mike wonders aloud to Neil if it’d be better than they didn’t have the baby.

[Neil] “Is that what you want?”

[Mike] “I don’t know. But I feel so bad about it.”

[Neil] “If you feel so bad about it, maybe it’s not the right thing to do.”

Fair point Neil. But with Vicky determined to not consider any option other than having their baby, what choice does that leave Mike?

Well, none. None at all. Apart from leaving Vicky …

[Mike] “What’s worse Neil. Hoping through all that pain now, or saving it up, maybe a lost worse, for the future?”

Neil reckons no-one else than Mike and Vicky can decide on that.

But they need to know:

[Neil] “You’ve got your children. All of your friends. You do know you’re not facing this alone, don’t you?”

Mike gave  big sigh.

He did know that, but so desperately needed to hear it.

Thank goodness he’s finally talked to someone out of the family, who can look it at it from his point of view.

What he’ll do next, only Mike knows.


Tom hasn’t got a kitchen

Tom’s back on about his ready meals.

He reckons he needs 80 to 100 meals for a sampling, but he hasn’t got a kitchen large enough to cook them.

[Tom] “Yet another disadvantage of renting.”

Seems he and Brenda’s plan has always been to build their own house. In which, Tom plans to have a huge kitchen.

Actually, Brenda didn’t sound so keen …

… that’s another clue, I reckon.

What is going to happen about Tom and Brenda?

Their engagement is never to be?

Elizabeth apologises AND takes responsibility: Tues 04.09.12

The Archers Tuesday 4th September 2012

• The first crop of carrots
• Chilled or frozen?
• Brenda and Tom mention they’re engaged!
• Jamie can’t go to Tug Fowler
• Brenda proves her worth
• Elizabeth, self-chastising
• Jamie’s “not bothered”

The first crop of carrots

Brenda is (rather unwillingly) helping Tom to lift this year’s first carrots from Bridge Farm.

Seems Jamie won’t be happy to hear that. For some odd reason, Kathy’s there watching them lift the carrots, and says that:

[Kathy] “He isn’t keen on any vegetables unless their swamped in a sauce.”

So she’s going to make goulash, which Jamie adores, and hide carrots so Jamie will eat them.

Which he doesn’t. he just picks them out.

Kathy really does need to get out more.


Chilled or frozen?

Tom and Brenda are back on the chat about ready meals.

They’re arguing over whether to do the ready meals chilled or frozen.

Kathy concurs with Tom that chilled sounds better (in a more healthy, fresh way, I’ll assume), but ever-the-practical Brenda thinks frozen is more practical (for them or the customer, I don’t know).

They’re wasting their time asking Kathy for her opinion. She buys chilled, then freezes them. And:

[Kathy] “I prefer, not taking sides, then you can’t get blamed for anything.”

Go on Kathy.

Live a little!


Brenda and Tom mention they’re engaged!

Blimey!

Feels like years since they acknowledge they’d betrothed.

But, it was hardly in a romantic way.

Brenda had taken her engagement ring off while they were working with the carrots, then couldn’t find it.

She was starting to get hysterical when Tom found it.

[Tom] “No need to go all Gollum on me!”

(ha! That was quite witty of Tom)

Anyhoo – it wasn’t anything important to listen in to, so I wonder if it’s a hint that they might actually be getting married sometime soon …


Jamie can’t go to Tug Fowler

Though he’s been watching Tug Fowler on his computer (must be YouTube and the like), he can’t go and see him at The Bull.

Over 18s only.

[Jamie] “But it’s totally unfair!”

Aye, life’s like that, young My Perks.


Brenda proves her worth

My word.

Brenda is not only showing her human side, she’s actually proving to be quite a decent human at that.

She and Tom are talking about Vicky and Mike’s baby.

[Tom] “I just feel sorry for them. Having a child at their age is hard enough, but when it’s got Down’s … it’s so sad.”

But Brenda isn’t so sure it’s “sad”. Though Mike wasn’t the greatest dad for her and Roy:

[Brenda] “He’s changed so much Tom, he’s much more open than he used to be, since mum died … the more you ask of him, the more he gives.”

[Tom] “The baby will need to much extra help. Do you think they’ll cope?”

[Brenda] “I don’t know. I think maybe they’ll do more than cope … I think it will really work out for them … up to now Vicky and dad have never had anything that’s their own … this could pull them together, make them a better team.”

Elizabeth, self-chastising

Elizabeth calls round to see Shula.

[Shula] “If you’re expecting an apology for what I said …”

Not at all.

Elizabeth tells Shula that she was angry at Shula for asking Freddie to take Topper’s tackle off (it’s “what started” Freddie getting hurt). She was also angry at the bloke on the motorbike who startled Topper into throwing Freddie. And, she’s angry at Nigel.

[Elizabeth] “Yes, I get angry with him, all the time. How am I supposed to bring up Freddie and Lily alone, I’m hopeless at it.”

Seems Elizabeth stood in front of a mirror last night.

[Elizabeth] “I just stood there and called myself every name under the sun … I nearly let Freddie get killed, and then I blame everyone else.”

[Shula] “Now you’re being too hard on yourself.”

(well, I totally disagree with Shula there. Elizabeth needs to have that hard look at herself and acknowledge when she’s wrong).

Elizabeth plays the Nigel card.

[Elizabeth] “Shula, he has a look sometimes, he asks me something and I just melt. He really is Nigel’s son … don’t you make excuses for me, I know what I should have done … I’m stupid, I get it all wrong … forgive me?”

[Shula] “You don’t even have to ask. Yes. Of course I do. You’re my sister.”

Damn!

I only just said yesterday that it was about time someone told Elizabeth not to use the Nigel excuse anymore. Shula did. And has now retracted it.

10 steps back yet again …


Jamie’s “not bothered”

Jamie wouldn’t say much to Kathy about his first day at College.

After much prying, he admits it’s because he’d seen Natalie.

[Jamie] “If Natalie wants to hang out with some loser from the basketball team, then go ahead.”

So Natalie has a new boyfriend, and Jamie reckons he’s “not bothered” if he ever speaks to her again.

Should we be bothered about such common teenage angst?

19th May 2010

• Dreaded looking like Fanny Craddock
• What you know about cricket you could write on the back of a fag pack and still have room for War and Peace
• Brian’s on form
• You grow the flipping things!

Dreaded looking like Fanny Craddock

I’m sure that’s something we all worry about. Daily.


What you know about cricket you could write on the back of a fag pack and still have room for War and Peace

Harsh Mr Tom’s Sausages (but probably all too true about Jazzer)


Brian’s on form

Forced to partake in cocktails at The Dower House with Matt and Lilian, Brian’s on top-notch form:

“I would rather stick pins in my eyes”

“All that fresh air, I expect” (on Jennifer’s comment to Matt that he was looking good)

“It was like skiing uphill” (at the end of their evening)

“He’s even cagier now than when he was put away – I wouldn’t trust him with a library book”

According to Brian and Jennifer, Matt and Lilian look rock solid. At the moment …


You grow the flipping things!

Second week into her new job, and the cracks are becoming huge between Tom and Brenda.

Why Brenda started cooking everything at the weekend for the week I’ll never know – is Tom completely bereft of any culinary skills? Or is he just lazy? Or has Brenda confused modern day living with a 1950s housewife role?

So while Brenda’s handing out samples (“like being back in a burger van with heels”), Tom can’t even get it together enough to have spuds or veg in the house. Which he grows.

“I’m so tired I’ll tell you where to stuff them”

Quite right Brenda. But you did create this situation by being such a doormat.

I don’t think they’ll be setting their wedding date anytime soon.

16th May 2010

• Sticky Wicket Bullying
• Seriously. You can’t say ‘no’ to Vicky
• The bull or an early night?
• Matt scores the decider, with only one night to go

Sticky Wicket Bullying

Yup. It’s Alistair bullying about the sticky wicket. Again.


Seriously. You can’t say ‘no’ to Vicky

Mike couldn’t.

Brenda failed.

Ed’s going to hate to use that adjustable spanner to make her listen.

And even the normally self-serving Tom couldn’t stop Vicky’s march forwards.


The bull or an early night?

Tom wants the bull, Brenda wants an early night – but it’s all academic as Brenda has to do the cooking for the week.

Fast forward 20 years into their marriage. Tom is down the pub. Brenda is doing the dishes after cooking Sunday lunch, coping with their 5 kids, wondering where he career, opportunity and life went …

Mind you, that’s assuming Tom even managed to get Brenda down the aisle. Doesn’t look too good at the moment.


And Matt scores the decider, with only one night to go

Was that me, or did Matt sound like a completely different man?

Not sure if he has a great councillor, priest or cellmate inside, but he must be talking to someone who is helping him to notice his mistakes, and apologise for them before he causes any real damage.

And it appeared to be heartfelt.

He’s an idiot. Realised his mistake. Called himself an idiot. Told Lilian that it was her he wanted to come home to. And even realised that he couldn’t take Lilian for granted.

Whether that was all for real or not, Matt could have just grasped Lilian away from Paul, with only seconds left of injury time.

28th April 2010

• Exciting and Buzzy
• Pouncing Patrick
• You know it’s bad when Tony’s certain
• How very dare she!
• Well, at least the fertility clinic knows what to do

Exciting and Buzzy

So glad Brenda has got the job.

Tom’s Sausages is just thinking of himself (as per), so here’s hoping Brenda has more nights out minus the engagement ring.

Honestly, I do try and find something to like about Tom, but he continually stops me from doing so.


Pouncing Patrick

Not sure Patrick is a pouncing type of chap. He’ll also probably be horrified to hear that Helen thinks he’s stalking him.

You’re a strange man Tony. A very, very strange man.


You know it’s bad when Tony’s certain

“You and Brenda are a strong couple. Of that I’m certain”

Hmm. Maybe Tony should check with Pat before he makes such statements.

And has he forgotten the way they fell apart (or Tom’s Sausages ripped them apart) over the whole Matt-Crawford-money-to-save-Tom’s-Sausages-because-Brenda-was-being-blackmailed saga?

Brenda was a fool to go back, but maybe Leicester will wake her up to him.

Or, at the very least, make her so tired that he ceases to even figure.


How very dare she!

I don’t know. That Helen just can’t let Brenda have her moment of glory (albeit Helen didn’t actually know it was a moment of glory).


Well, at least the fertility clinic knows what to do

I am deeply ashamed of myself, but was snorting like a school kid over:

“The fertility clinic has got a slot”

Sorry …

4th April 2010

• What’s Pip atoning for?
• Well done Alan (and co.)
• Jazzer is taught to clean a leek
• Yet another reason for Tom’s Sausages to get Brenda down the aisle
• Just you, me and the lads

What’s Pip atoning for?

Did Pip go to the Easter service for spiritual guidance?

Or has the nice, thoughtful, family lass returned?

Just what has she and Jude been up to?


Well done Alan (and co.)

A whopping £2,000 raised for charity.

He may not have managed to do it all himself, but Alan’s efforts at least raised the cash.


Jazzer is taught to clean a leek

Fame one night, then taken aside by Pat to clean a leek the next.

Serves Jazzer right for being so brazen about his lack of enthusiasm for the Bridge Farm hamper.

And trying to cheat an old(er) man out of a nice dinner out. Cheeky monkey!


Yet another reason for Tom’s Sausages to get Brenda down the aisle

Will Tom start seeing Jude as a rival after Brenda realised she knew him, and had once snogged him?

Or, is this an ensuing cat fight between Pip and Brenda – though I doubt Brenda will be interested in fighting over a ‘man’ who hasn’t changed since he was 17.


Just you, me and the lads

Sounds wonderful!

Pip sounded like her mother’s/father’s daughter in the way she was instinctively worried about how to get there, what they’ll eat etc etc

More importantly- just what are the sleeping arrangements?

Or is that no longer an issue (she above re Pip at the Easter service)

2nd April 2010

• Life in Ambridge is dull after London
• Tom’s Sausages' Master Plan
• Jazzer’s a winner

Life in Ambridge is dull after London

Or should that be: life alone in Ambridge is dull after London with Paul?

Enjoyed it so much I might do it more often

Says Lilian.

And she’s already lying to her nearest and dearest!

Better watch out Lilian. Jennifer has had plenty experience of affairs, so will be able to spot your shifty shuffling fairly quickly.


Tom’s Sausages' Master Plan

As we’d come to expect of Tom, his master plan is fairly droll.

Get the girl – engage the girl – marry the girl – get the girl pregnant

Or, at least that’s what Brenda thinks.

I think she’s partly right in thinking that Tom’s new obsession with getting married is about not being second to Helen,

but, isn’t it more likely that this is also about her leaving her engagement ring off for a night out with the girls?

And, that she wants to have a career? Which could take her elsewhere?

Brenda should have gone travelling when she had the chance.


Jazzer’s a winner

Good on you.

When can we expect it to be up on ITunes?

28th March 2010

• Ben’s a right ‘un!
• Tom’s Sausages says sorry!!!
• Wasn’t all bifocals and a bad back
• Boys will be boys?

Ben’s a right ‘un!

The donkey’s alright but you’ve still got to sit through the service

I wonder if Ben’s going to be a bit of a lark when he’s gets older.

A classic wee quote about church,

spotting a 25g difference between his and Josh’s Easter egg last year

and a wonder ‘oops’ moment in dobbing Josh in.

Go on yersel!



Tom’s Sausages says sorry!!!

Ooer – Brenda’s not one to tangle with these days. Absolutely stunned that she got Tom to back down so quickly over the (lack of wearing) her engagement ring.

Still, is Tom right to be worried? Did Brenda just forget to put it back on, or is she more akin to Tony’s ex?

I still hope she gets a life away from Tom’s Sausages.


It wasn’t all bifocals and a bad back in those days

Indeed it wasn’t Tony.



Boys will be boys?

Apart from the really amateur mistake of filming themselves, then letting Ben get to the evidence – is there such a big difference between the way David’s treating ‘the boys’ and Pip?

Is David reacting to Pip’s relationship with Jude so strongly because of the age difference, or is it because this is the first time she’s really started dating someone? And that could lead to intimate situations which no father wants to even think about?

Or, is Ruth right that David’s just got different attitudes when it comes to girls?

I would have expected David to be a bit more perturbed over the tagging, but maybe Ben’s right and he’s used up all his energy in worrying/fighting with Pip.

10th March 2010

• Totally forgot about Tom’s Sausages and Brenda the Flyer
• Who’s the chosen one?

Totally forgot about Tom’s Sausages and Brenda the Flyer

It’s been a while since it’s been mentioned, and I’d totally forgotten Tom and Brenda’s engagement.

Shame that it was mentioned during a blazing row – but what do you expect from an engagement which came hot on the heels of a reconciliation?

And of course, Tom has to be a pompous ass about Brenda’s frustration at her lack of career.

The boy just won’t be able to accept that not the whole world revolves around, or is inspired and in awe of, Tom’s Sausages.

“What more do you want?”

Ah Tom. So, so, so, so much more. Brenda should’ve gone off on that world trip …


Who’s the chosen one?

So the Great Blazer Mystery begins on earnest.

@eddie_grundy reckons it’s Bert (“surely not for me?”) but I think the field is fairly wide open at this stage.

Of course, the mention of Bert’s visit to Phil’s grave was timely – and he would be an obvious choice.

Though maybe needs-must in Eddie’s case?