Showing posts with label royal wedding. Show all posts
Showing posts with label royal wedding. Show all posts

Friday, 30 November 2012

Lilian calls Matt a “smug bastard”: Tues 20.11.12 #thearchers

The Archers Tuesday 20th November 2012
  • Vicky’s huge and captivating
  • Wheelie Bins are Council responsibility
  • Brenda’s back to making coffee
  • Who knocked a post down?
  • It doesn’t take much to excite Sabrina Thwaite
  • Arthur died, Matt didn’t tell Lilian
  • Lilian slips up
  • The Bull’s Fashion Show

Vicky’s huge and captivating

[Roy] “She's pretty big now. Huge. She sort of suits it, though ... and Phoebe's really captivated by it all.”


Wheelie Bins are Council responsibility


So Brenda tells a “stupid” tenant.

Steady on Brenda.

As a marketer, you should know how important it is to build good customer relations.


Brenda’s back to making coffee

With Matt away, Lilian’s determined to get back into running her business. She reckons she’s left Brenda to cope alone long enough.

With Lilian back at the helm, Brenda’s immediately despatched to make coffee. Which Brenda will likely moan about just as much as when she was in charge.


Who knocked a post down?


Somebody did, at The Bull.

Though no-one seems concerned about it, so would seem it doesn’t matter.

Odd.


It doesn’t take much to excite Sabrina Thwaite


Seems she and her friends are very excited indeed about the forthcoming fashion show at the Bull.

[Lilian] “The yummy mummies, yes I can imagine.”


Arthur died, Matt didn’t tell Lilian


It fell to Brenda to mention it in passing.

Seems it happened a couple of weeks ago. Brenda was only talking about it as Joyce can’t stand to live in her and Arthur’s house anymore, so is moving into the flat Matt had been harassing them about.

So, Matt gets exactly what he wants.

[Brenda] “I would have thought he’d have mentioned it.”

[Lilian] “So would I!”

So, rather than go to The Bull’s fashion show, Lilian lies in wait for Matt.

When he gets in, he doesn’t start well:

[Matt] “Dinner ready?”

Then, when confronted by Lilian about Arthur, Matt claims he’s positive he told her. In fact, Matt blames Lilian for forgetting due to the “stress” of having James and Leonie around.

[Matt] “You shouldn’t beat yourself up about it.”

Oh Matt, you’re playing a dangerous game there …

Lilian’s adamant Matt didn’t tell her about Arthur. Because he didn’t. Matt would have been too focused on getting Joyce out of the bigger house, into the flat.

Lilian’s obviously upset. She’d spent a lot of time with Arthur when Joyce was in hospital. She would have wanted to go to Arthur’s funeral.

And, of course, she thinks Matt’s treatment of Arthur and Joyce led both to Joyce being hospitalised, and now Arthur dying.

Matt blames social services, and Arthur himself (!) for being stubborn.

[Matt] “The silver lining, at least Joyce can make a fresh start.”

[Lilian] “Oh you smug bastard. This is exactly what you wanted … that poor man’s death should be on your conscience. I don’t know how you can sleep at night,. And if you want some dinner, get it yourself!”

Oh Paul … it’s an open goal at the moment!


Lilian slips up

During their argument, Lilian tries to back her side up by saying that even Darrell didn’t know about Arthur dying.

[Matt] “How do you know he doesn’t know?”

Oops.

Better get better at lying, Lilian.


The Bull’s Fashion Show

The Bull is very busy for its inaugural fashion show.

But. The woman (someone called Leanne) who was supposed to compare has got ‘food poisoning’:

[Kenton] “That’s what she’s calling it.”

Quite right Kenton. ‘Food poisoning’ is always a rubbish excuse.

Anyhoo, Kenton steps up (again), to MC (again) and take the limelight (again).

[Kenton] “What I know about fashion, you could write on the back of a sequin.”

Kenton has the script for the show, so (technically) the audience didn’t have to suffer his quips all night.

But since when has Kenton ever stuck to the script?

[Kenton] “Ladies and … is that Jazzer at the back?”

Yes it was.

Since when has Jazzer passed up a chance to be in a room full of ladies?

Anyhoo, Kenton was very witty, and everyone had a fab night.

[Brenda] “Even Hilary Noakes is smiling!”

Blimey!

Friday, 29 April 2011

The Archers Friday 29th April 2011: The Royal Wedding

click the title above, or the 'read more' link below the bullet points, to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

  • Kenton’s putting yet more bunting
  • Kenton then gives “Jamie a reality check”
  • David – that’s just not cricket
  • Jamie. Home. Being polite.
  • Did I hear mention of a silage clamp?
  • Ambridge on Kate and Will



Kenton’s putting yet more bunting

But it’s again not at a great height. So little to no chance of anyone else dying, while trying to undo one of Kenton’s knots.

[Kenton] “At a time like this, every man has to do his patriotic duty”

Actually, maybe he should put them up a bit higher and make sure one of our lesser-favourite-Ambridge residents has a go …


Kenton then gives “Jamie a reality check”

Busy chap today, is our Kenton.

After manfully wrestling with the bunting, he then takes on the untamed, obnoxious little beastie that it Jamie.

And Kenton didn’t tread too lightly either.

[Kenton] “It’s time you stopped living in never never land”

Kenton tells Jamie all. That Jolene “isn’t cool” about Jamie living at The Bull indefinitely. That she isn’t his mum. That he needs looking after. That £10 a week isn’t really contributing. And that he belongs with his mum.

Jamie gets a tad tense, so Kenton says his bit, then leaves Jamie to “work the rest out” by himself.

I wonder if Jamie is capable of managing anything by himself? And if he’ll get the message? Finally??



David – that’s just not cricket

It would seem that David wants to quit the cricket team.

So that gives Shula a reason to send Alistair over to speak to David about his post-traumatic stress (as diagnosed by Shula and Ruth, unbeknownst to David).

Alistair does try. But he’s as bad as trying to get David to speak as David is as speaking.

David was evasive, Alistair got nowhere and David is quitting the cricket team.



Jamie. Home. Being polite.

Looks like Kenton did manage to get through to Jamie after all.

My word.

Not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing. Our last experience of Jamie living at home was shouting, shouting, shouting, shouting.

He walks back ‘home’ and starts quite well. Attempting to first just head to his room, he stops to say:

[Jamie] “Yeah I’m staying … I mean … if that’s okay with you?”

[Kathy] “You don’t have to ask”

I’ll say this quietly so that I don’t scare it away … but could this be Kathy and Jamie finally talking to each other like decent human beings?



Did I hear mention of a silage clamp?

I think I did.

Hurrah! It’s silage time already!!


Ambridge on Kate and Will

[Kathy] “Hope they look as happy in 10 years’ time”

(does that woman every feel any joy? Then again, she did end up watching it alone at home …)

[Shula on Alistair what Alistair reckons to the wedding] “has better things to do than watch daytime TV”

[Jolene] “Didn’t they look happy … proper happy”

[Kenton] “The royals can put on a god show, I’ll give them that”

[Jolene] “Raise your glass please … the happy couple. Kate and William!”

Clarrie and Kathy cried buckets. Those in their separate homes. Then told each other on the phone.

And that was that.

Quite a relief, really, after the rest of the BBC was 24/7 wedding!

But, seems a nice time was had by all, which I won’t be cynical about. For once …


Thursday, 28 April 2011

Ambridge Extra Thursday 28th April 2011: The Royal Wedding … eh???

click the title above, or the 'read more' link below the bullet points, to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

  • Still can’t get the hang of Ambridge Extra’s alternate universe
  • Marty “would” Fallon
  • “whatever”
  • Larger and chips for Alice and Chris
  • Chris is a genius
  • Finding Pip and Spencer quite endearing
  • Jamie goes to the toilet, can’t afford pizza and suffers Polly
  • The Royal Wedding (a day before the rest of humanity)
  • Chas: the not very scary loan shark



Still can’t get the hang of Ambridge Extra’s alternate universe

I really can’t work it out.

One minute, it’s behind ‘normal’ Ambridge days – then it jumps forth in time.

Hard enough working out which teenage lad is talking, without having to cope with time travel theorem.

It has to be a conspiracy.

How can the secret microphones be recording on Friday when it’s Thursday, unless something strange and sinister is afoot.

Maybe that’s why the Barwick Green version is so damn terrifying … setting the tone.



Marty “would” Fallon

[Jamie – saying he prefers no Jolene] “It’s just me and Fallon. We have a laugh.”

[Marty] “I would …”

Seems “I would” means that Marty would quite like to set his cap at Fallon.

He reckons he was talking hypothetically, as Fallon’s way out of his league.

I don’t know, but. Fallon might welcome any male attention after her very long drought.

Whatever did happen to Harry? Why’s he not speaking? Did he and Fallon fizzle out as fast as they fizzled on?


“whatever”

I’m a bit perturbed that Ambridge Extra is starting to make me think and sound like an old grumpy person.

Jamie was talking to Marty about how he also doesn’t like Kenton’s overtones:

[Jamie] “He’s always on my case. Trying to buddy up and take an interest. Well he can forget that”

So, Marty, hearing that Jamie was now not entirely happy at The Bull came up with a fairly reasonable suggestion:

[Marty] “If you do go home. I reckon your mum would be so desperate, you’d have her right where you’d want her”

To which Jamie only said a quick ‘not really what I want to do’ – to which Marty replied “whatever”.

I don’t get it.

They were having a conversation – Marty suggestions something – Jamie doesn’t entirely agree (but isn’t argumentative or dismissive) – so why the “whatever”?

I thought that was just (by young ‘uns) to mean that they were bored or disagreed with what you were saying, and didn’t have the vocabulary to express themselves in a more traditional way.

Fair enough.

But “whatever” during a matey chat?

Lost on me.

And damn you! Damn you all!! I don’t want to sound like my granny used to (give me a few more decades, at least).



Larger and chips for Alice and Chris

Brilliant. That Chris knows how to show a lass a grand time.

(I’m actually just jealous)


Chris is a genius

He gets extra chips. And then lands major brownie points for watching something he doesn’t want to, in a place he wants to be.

Chris tells Alice he’ll watch the Royal Wedding (well, “Kate and Will” to Chris) for her sake, and quite ungrudgingly, as long as they do so in the pub.

Nice.

Alice’s happy that her man cares enough to think about what she wants to do, and her man is happy that she’s happy, in the pub with him.

Evelyn Waugh would have a tough time finding something to write about with those two as his only inspiration …



Finding Pip and Spencer quite endearing

Just as Ted and Peggy in Ambridge proper are really sweet, Spencer and Pip are being quite heart-warmingly tender.

[Spencer] “I always enjoy skittles night”

Bless them.

They have a jolly nice time at skittles, then Spencer mentions that he has a cunning plan instead of watching the wedding (which Pip is none too bothered about).

And Spencer’s a farmer.

That’ll be Brookfield’s future sorted, then.



Jamie goes to the toilet, can’t afford pizza and suffers Polly

Not sure why Marty was hanging round the toilets while Jamie was in there

[Marty] “You’ve been a while mate”

I thought it was just women who shared public toilet experiences. Well, apart from the occasional gentleman’s-gentleman.

Jamie’s having a bit of a rubbish time. He thought he was going to Spud’s house (whoever Spud is), but they end up in a Pizza place.

He can’t afford a pizza. Marty offers him some of his, but he doesn’t like pepperoni. And Polly is in the corner “with some stupid rugby player”.

Goodness me. As if Jamie needed anything extra to moan about.


The Royal Wedding (a day before the rest of humanity)

Rhys reckons she’s run off and married Gavin Henson …

[Rhys] “ realised she’s got to go to Wales to marry a real man”

The Bull is serving Royal wedding lager:

[Rhys] “I sing Rule Britannia while I pour it”

Pip and Spencer avoid the wedding to find a quiet spot. He’s used orienteering calculations to:

[Spencer] “not be seen for miles … the changes of anyone not interrupting us should be very slim … bride and groom should be appearing on the balcony of Buckingham Palace, and you know what everyone’s hoping for … what I’ve been hoping for for days …”

(and they kiss)

Alice wouldn’t say no to their 10th year anniversary blessing happening in Westminster Abbey.

And:

[Rhys] “Are you going to hang around now then? Spend the rest of the afternoon in a romantic alcoholic daze?”

(no. Chris and Alice went back home)

And that was that.

What a brain freeze.

Wonder if the microphones will be caught out? Will something extraordinary happen tomorrow? Would serve those microphones right for being so un-Ambridge.



Chas: the not very scary loan shark

You find me in a very negative mood with Ambridge Extra, and I do apologise.

But I couldn’t help but think that Chas sounded a bit weak as he was trying to pressure some bloke called Reggie into paying back his loan.

I think most folks would have laughed at his attempt at ‘I’m a Mitchell!’ routine. Or bounced him out of their house.

Maybe he’s picking on particularly weak/vulnerable people, as Reggie certainly seemed to be scared.

[Chas] “Come on Reggie. I know you’re in there. I can see you, you fool”

[Chas] “Believe me, old chap, ask around. You really don’t want to let me down.”

I’ll start a fund to raise Reggie’s £400, if only not to have to suffer that insufferable twerp Chas playing the big man again.


Wednesday, 30 March 2011

The Archers Friday 25th March 2011: Elona and Brian

  • Cliff is the right choice
  • Jill has a mocha
  • Jolene’s thinking about weddings
  • Elizabeth has to get her batteries changed every five years
  • All this talk of puddings …
  • No-one has warned Elona?
  • Jamie needs space
  • The Bull’s Royal Wedding
  • Just tell them!



Cliff is the right choice

Brian and Annabelle have chosen the Project Manager for the Mart – some bloke called Cliff who has ‘done’ a shopping centre.

Hmmm.

The only interest I have in the mart is Lilian. She manages to liven up even the dullest of Ambridge happenings!


Jill has a mocha

And also finds the seating in Jaxx to be to her liking.

[Jill] “Oh yes, this is comfortable. I’m never sure about leather furniture”


Jolene’s thinking about weddings

[Jolene] “Hello sailor!”

[Kenton] “What you thinking about”

[Jolene] “Weddings”

Steady!

Before we (and Kenton) have a heart attack – Jolene’s talking about the forthcoming Royal nuptials.

Actually … Kenton didn’t sound too upset to hear Jolene say weddings.

And, ‘what are you thinking about’ isn’t the words of a man taking it too slow …




Elizabeth has to get her batteries changed every five years

And she doesn’t sound too perturbed by it.

Progress indeed.

However, Jill is in a ponderous mood.

[Jill] “It’s made me step back and ask some really big questions … indulge me … is the effort of running Lower Loxley worth the risk to your health … it crossed my mind, you don’t have to run the place, you could walk away”

Course – Elizabeth isn’t interested.

Jill does make some sense – Lower Loxley is in Trust, so it wouldn’t be lost to a hotel chain.

[Elizabeth] “It’s not what Nigel would have wanted.”

[Jill] “I don’t think Nigel would have wanted you to suffer”

[Elizabeth] “It’s Freddy’s future”

(my word – does that sort of thinking still really exist? That it’s automatically the boy who inherits?!? What a difference between Elizabeth and David – Pip looks like the chap for Brookfield).

[Elizabeth] “It’s not just bricks and mortar … his vision … it is Nigel”

But, where Jill loses one argument, she gains a small victory. Elizabeth is thinking of getting someone in to help cope with the office.


All this talk of puddings …

… has gained a great result.

[Jill] “I’m making a treacle pudding for the children … and Lewis”



No-one has warned Elona?

Peggy introduces Brian to Elona as he arrives to collect her from seeing Jack.

Elona’s Jack’s favourite staff member. I wonder if Brian can also see her charms …

While Brian takes a business call, Peggy settles down to find out more about Elona.

She’s from Albania.

[Elona] “I was brought up on a farm … modest, you know … there was no so much land for us both to stay there, and I not interested”

Elona then worked in a bar, where she met hubby-to-be Darren (or Terry – I heard Darren, but the BBC reckons Terry – anyone else hazard a guess?), who is from Coventry. She married him, settled in the UK and has two girls.

Her husband is a builder, who often works away from home. For weeks on end at a time.

Hmmm.

Not sure how ‘pretty’ she is (according to Brian’s standards), but high-time he was making jiggy again with someone other than Jennifer. Just for a bit of light relief … for us all.


Jamie needs space

Kenton and Jolene decide to keep giving Jamie space until he gets used to them.

After all, he is still speaking to Fallon.

Lucky, lucky Fallon!


The Bull’s Royal Wedding

So far – we have the wedding shown on a big screen and union jack bunting round the outside.

The menu is proving a bit tricky.

Kenton reckoned Coronation Chicken. And Windsor soup.

“Thin brown soup, followed by cold curry”

So that was quickly kyboshed.

Jolene had a fair few good ideas – roast beef and horseradish sandwiches – lamb – treacle sponge …

[Jolene] “I do like a nice trifle, though. Or how about queen of puddings”

[Kenton] “Ah, but she’s not the queen. As yet.”

(or ever!)

But what was Jolene on about when she mentioned Rhys’ idea of Anglesey eggs for the veggies?

Prince William being stationed there is a bit of a tenuous link for a wedding celebration, even though they sound quite nice indeed (leeks, boiled eggs, cheesy mash).

Tell you what – Ambridge knows how to celebrate a Royal Occasion! Bunting, beef and boiled eggs – oh my!




Just tell them!

Kenton had popped in to see Jolene, but had to go with Brian and Peggy to sit down as they assumed he was at a loose end.

Just tell them, for goodness sake!

Brian may have chocked on his non-alcoholic beer and korma – Peggy may have dropped her tuna sandwich – but you’re two adults who can choose to be together regardless of what anyone else thinks.