- All because of badgers?
- Lynda takes advantage of Fallon (and she likes it)
- Molly and Tilly Button’s coconut dance
- Now Lynda’s making Fallon scream!
- Pat and Tony will get to meet Rich
All because of badgers?
There’s a slurry leak at Brookfield.
[David] “If it’s going in the brook as well, it’s a disaster”
Seems ‘something’ has given way in the slurry lagoon, and its leaking slurry.
[Clem – some bloke who know about fixing slurry lagoons] “You might be right about the badgers”
It hasn’t reach Hayden Brook as yet (well, there’s no dead fish to be seen at the moment). They’ll need to drain the lagoon to see where the problem is.
[Bert] “It could be worse David. At least the herd’s only been inside for a couple of weeks. A similar thing happened in your father’s days …”
(David stops Bert there – they don’t have time for reminiscence)
Clem rings round other farms to see if they can take on extra slurry so that David can drain the lagoon, but has no luck. Something to do with new NVZ regulations, which means everyone wants to be sure they have enough capacity for their own slurry.
So – David will now have to phone the Environmental Agency for an EA for deregation (or something like that – not my area of expertise). He needs to have their agreement that he can spread slurry, as long as it’s well away from water. He’s got to be able to drain the slurry somewhere.
[David] “You know what gets me, even if I do play by the book, I still might end up getting fined … Don’t you just love dairy. At the moment it’s just one problem after another.”
David also made another mention of badgers:
[David] “The damn badgers got busy!”
As if badgers needed any new bad press with David.
Though how badgers got into a slurry lagoon to make it leak, only David can explain.
Notice to all badgers: stay away from Brookfield. Grange Farm is a safer bet …
Lynda takes advantage of Fallon (and she likes it)
[Lynda] “I hope you don’t feel I’m taking advantage …”
Fallon says she isn’t, but is also more than happy to be roped into sorting out the scenery and staging of Christmas Around the World.
Poor Fallon.
She seems to have a lot of time on her hands.
Molly and Tilly Button’s coconut dance
Is that an appropriate dance for two children to do in public?
More worryingly:
[Fallon] “Have we got extreme event insurance?”
Now Lynda’s making Fallon scream!
Lynda seemed very keen for Fallon to go into her and Robert’s living room.
Which Fallon does.
And screams when she does so.
[Lynda] “Oh no. Not her as well!”
Later on, once Fallon has calmed down:
[Fallon] “Sorry about the little scream earlier … it was that hideous gleam in his eyes when I walked in”
[Lynda] “Hideous, rather than endearing?”
[Fallon] “Terrifying”
[Lynda] “Oh, what if I have him peeping over a little holly hedge, perhaps with a jaunty red ribbon tied to one tusk … doesn’t conjure up images of the frozen north and Santa’s workshop”
[Fallon] “He’d only go there to eat the elves!”
[Lynda] “Oh dear … never ,mind, you’re not alone in your opinion … unfortunately no-one’s taken him to heart”
[Fallon] “Table decorations are very subjective, Lynda”
[Lynda] “Far from it. Everyone seems to like Vicky’s effort, whereas they all seem to think my centre piece is thoroughly repulsive”
And with Oscar (and his parents, of course) coming up for Christmas, Lynda also doesn’t want to risk scaring the beejesus out of him as well.
[Lynda] “So I’m afraid it’s back to the attic for my little walrus”
Aw. That’s a shame.
Bless Lynda and her creative quirks. She really isn’t appreciated.
Pat and Tony will get to meet Rich
Tony gets a shock with Eamon calls him.
Seems Eamon has talked to Sharon:
[Eamon] “You can imagine how she reacted …”
[Tony] “So it’s a no?”
[Eamon] “That’s up to you Tony … first of all, you need to know that I’ve sweated blood over this, okay …
“me and Sharon talked it right through. To be frank, we wished you’d never got in touch. But, we’re prepared to let you and your wife see Rich once and once only .. and there are conditions Tony.
“You need to understand we’re not really doing it for your sake, we’re doing it for our boy. Like I told Sharon,. He won’t be happy if he does ever want to know about his blood family and he finds out we stopped his grandparents getting in touch. That is the only reason we’re saying yes … and it’s got to happen on our terms, or not at all”
The terms are that Sharon and Eamon will be with Rich the whole time. That it’ll be a very short meeting, in public. And that Tony and Pat can only say they’re old friends of Sharon’s – they’re expressly forbidden from saying that they’re Rich’s grandparents.
[Eamon] “If you ever look like you’re going to talk about his blood father, we’ll walk away … I’m not having him shaken up … it’s not only your wife suffering here, Sharon’s completely ripped up by this, and we didn’t want anything of this remember
"That’s it. A one shot deal. So make you mind up Tony, yes or no?”
[Tony] “Yes”
So, Eamon will call back with a when/where when he and Sharon are ready.
Tony was right to say yes straight away, before they changed their minds, but wonder if Pat will be happy with that?
Even if not – surely this can only help? It’ll at least stop Pat wondering.
Or, will it be a case of a little is most definitely not enough?
- That Tristam Hawkshaw!
- The walrus doesn’t impress Vicky
- Don’t mess with Neil’s armchair
- The Ambridge Organics prelims are in
- What Scottish ditty will Jazzer sing?
- Mince Pie related failure
- Worried about Peggy
That Tristam Hawkshaw!
Seems all of FLOSS (Felpersham Light Opera Society) are pulling out of Christmas Around the World. Well, the few that had agreed to do it in the first place.
[Lynda] “Tristam Hawkshaw has been ringing with excuses all week … and now the only two tenors who can hold a tune have fallen out over a mezzo soprano”
But not to worry – Alan and a group of parishioners to the rescue, with a selection of carols.
The walrus doesn’t impress Vicky
[Vicky] “It’s a very small walrus Lynda, for a stage prop”
[Lynda] “ It was meant to be basking on a distant flow. To give a sense of perspective while we girls danced the seal sarabond”
[Vicky] “Well it’s certainly eye catching, the way the tusks seem to fallow you round the room”
Lynda’s table decoration won’t be entered into the competition, as that wouldn’t be fair. She’s the organiser, after all.
And she has a walrus.
Don’t mess with Neil’s armchair
Neil is livid.
[Neil] “Without even asking, Susan. I nearly let rip … The armchair is there for a reason!”
[Susan] “To be fair Neil, she hasn’t moved it that far … it’s been in the same spot since we bought it”
[Neil] “I lined it up perfectly. So when I do get a chance to sit down the sun isn’t in my eyes, it’s at a good angle for the telly and if I want a can I just reach out to the side table”
Susan is trying to reason with Neil, until she finds out that the kids had been using her new (new!) rose lampshade for a hat!
She is not amused.
[Neil] “We worked hard all our lives to enjoy living here Susan, and now we’re being crowded out of our own home”
[Susan] “I like having her around, she’s better company than any of my brothers”
[Neil] “So are most of my pigs … I feel mean, but they’re driving me crackers!”
Susan concurs (I mean to say, that new rose lampshade might be marked!), and wants them to move into No.6 The Green with her dad and Gary. That’d mean they’d have somewhere to live that isn’t the Carters’, and Susan wouldn’t have to look after both households.
Perfect.
Neil wonders whether No.6 is big enough – but, as Susan points out, Bert and Ivy managed to bring up their brood in it. Which gets Neil thinking about how he can help modify the house to cope.
[Susan, warmed by Neil’s generosity] “Going to all that trouble for my sister”
[Neil] “Believe me, I’d go to a lot more trouble if it means getting them out of the house”
Neil isn’t too happy that they won’t start their plans to move on Tracey until after Christmas, but it is fairly close now. Will they all survive in the meantime?
And more importantly – will we ever know if that lampshade was harmed in the making of the kids’ dressing up?
The Ambridge Organics prelims are in
Pat couldn’t care less.
Helen seems to think they’re okay. As does Tom.
[Helen] “At least it feels like we’re slowly making some sort of progress”
Pat’s disinterest hasn’t gone unnoticed.
[Tom] “I feel sorry for her … it must be really difficult opening up old wounds”
But he hasn’t changed his mind about getting in touch with Sharon. Much to Helen’s relief.
Pat to reveal the truth at Christmas dinner?
What Scottish ditty will Jazzer sing?
Lynda has got Jazzer to agree to sing rather than recite (she’s very low on musical acts). He’s going to sing a traditional Scottish Folk Song.
It could be as lovely as the one he did at Ambridge Has Talent.
Or, it could be a slightly earthier ditty …
Mince Pie related failure
The point of Lighting Up is that the start with The Bull, then work through all the houses around the green – each turning on their Christmas lights in turn.
As we know, Joe’s doing Jim’s while Jim is comparing.
But Joe literally lets the side down. Jim’s light are late in coming on, so hold up that whole side of the green.
[Jim] “Mince pie related … fortifying himself with some free ones from The Bull”
And, Joe dropped one of the pies onto Jim’s carpet in his haste to try and get the lights on.
Tsk tsk Mr Grundy elder. You only had one job to do…
Worried about Peggy
We haven’t heard from her in a while, and mentions of her sprained ankle seem to be on the increase.
Silence and any sort of illness is never a good sign …
- Christine and Jim, still a happy couple
- Christine loves Ambridge at Christmas
- Robert’s domain …
- That Walrus
- Kathy agrees there is a likeness
- A reduced display at Christine’s
- Pat won’t leave the leeks
Christine and Jim, still a happy couple
Or non-couple as they like to see it.
They having elevenses while tacking the crossword together.
[Christine] “We seem to do better working as a team”
[Jim] “Well, there’s no sense both of us struggling with the same crossword”
Just because two adults like each other’s company, doesn’t mean they have to be romantically involved. I know that.
But wouldn’t it be nice for them both?
Christine loves Ambridge at Christmas
Which she reckons means she hasn’t outgrown Christmas, but I think it quite natural.
She doesn’t envy Jennifer and Brian for their holiday away. She prefers it right where she is. Especially decorating the house with green foliage. Which used to disturb George.
[Christine] “Woods all day, and comes home to a forest!”
And, when the band plays on the green as the Christmas lights are turned on, Christmas has started for Christine.
Robert’s domain …
Is the loft, according to Lynda.
But that doesn’t mean he’s left to rule in it. Lynda has a say right throughout his search for Christmas decorations.
They have their own needs, and “the village hall swallow decorations”, according to Lynda.
That’s when Robert stumbles across …
That Walrus
It’s a plastic walrus, which Robert reckons they should throw out.
Lynda is horrified.
[Lynda] “It’s a piece of personal history. My spell with the Sunningdale players was a golden time. Especially our dance interpretation of our Nanook of the North …”
And anyway. Lynda thinks they just don’t know when it might come in useful.
And lo – just Robert is getting a bit short with Lynda (brave man), she comes up trumps – a table decoration competition at Christmas around the World!
And three guesses what will be Lynda’s centrepiece?
A plastic walrus.
Lynda tried to justify why a walrus would be appropriate for a table centrepiece.
[Lynda] “Well, reindeer are popular at Christmas”
[Robert] “He looks rather sinister. Like a walrus with a murky past”
Later on, when Jim sees the walrus:
[Jim] “There’s a walrus who knows where the penguins are buried!”
You never know.
A sinister walrus might just be what the judges are looking for.
Kathy agrees there is a likeness
Unlike the rest of Tony’s clan, Kathy doesn’t seem as sure that there’s a striking likeness between Rich and John.
She agrees there is a definite likeness.
[Kathy] “He’s certainly very like him, in some ways”
So whereas Pat sees the same smile, the way he holds himself and his eyes:
[Kathy] “Only one photo, one angle …”
[Pat] “It’s all I need, Kathy”
Kathy doesn’t think pat is wrong wanting to know, but:
[Kathy] “I just wonder … perhaps going over and over it isn’t really helping”
Pat does admit that she was “clumsy” when she told Tom and Helen. Which didn’t really help. She’s sorry about that, but still can’t really understand their reaction.
[Pat] “Just to forget about it now. How can they stand not knowing?”
Kathy reminds Pat that she’d said before she’d need to move on. Pat may have said that, but it’s not where she is now.
[Pat] “But if I don’t get in touch, how can I stop myself thinking about the boy, every single day?”
A reduced display at Christine’s
Seems Christine, despite her love of all things Christmas, won’t be doing her usual Christmas display.
Seems there’s clips missing from some of her gutters. So, she can’t hang all of her lights.
But not to worry – Jim’ll Fix them!
[Jim] “It’s a problem. It’s a challenge. And I like challenges”
And off he pops to see Robert, a man who “knows his way round a toolbox”.
I feel a sense of worry about Jim, up a ladder, during winter.
(Nigel, on a roof, during winter)
Pat won’t leave the leeks
[Tony] “There’s no need to wear yourself out”
[Pat] “Actually there is , every need. Because at the moment it’s the only way I can see of getting through the whole day without screaming. So if you don’t mind Tony, I’ll just carry on as I am!”
Ouch.
