The Archers: Jamie's punishment … Jazzer needs a bed
- What was the Red Admiral on?
- "Jill never wants to eat again"
- Whoever forgot to switch mics should be flogged ...
- "bad teenage behaviour can be the sign of a healthy personality"
- What were the obscenities?
- Jazzer's eye got in the way of a big, hairy ...
- "I've naewhere to lay ma we heid"
What was the Red Admiral on?
I didn't quite catch what Lynda said the Red Admiral was on, but it sounded very impressive.
Anyone?
"Jill never wants to eat again"
So Lynda says that Jill said (!) after her delightful 80th birthday treat in Bath.
Steady on there Jill! I know you said that the family gathering must be "the last time", but no need to rush the process!
Whoever forgot to switch mics should be flogged ...
Now I know Robert isn't the most exciting of Ambridge residents, but he normally can be relied upon to be a bit eccentric. Quirky. Witty with the odd quip.
What on earth was he thinking tonight?!?
Someone, somewhere, was obviously meant to switch the microphone over from following Robert and Jamie, to something far less droll instead.
Maybe flogging is taking it a bit far, but they certainly should be very ashamed of themselves. Very much so Indeed!
Robert had taken on the task of repairing the damage to the bird hide, forcing Jamie to be his "apprentice", as well as Jamie having to foot the bill for the materials.
All fair and good. The Bird Hide gets fixed. Jamie learns that there are consequences to 'fun'. And Robert gets someone to lecture.
But my word - did he ever lecture!
Starting off at the timber merchant, Robert went on, and on, and on, and on, and on, and on ....(seriously - if you haven’t heard this particular eavesdropping instalment, Robert had a good 6 minutes of waffling about wood, stain, cutting etc etc).
Then, suddenly, not content with sending Jamie into a finely polished coma, Robert then seemed to lose all sense of tact.
What on earth was in his Earl Grey this morning?
He started reminiscing about baby Oscar - how empty the house feels with just two of them - started asking Jamie about how much he misses Kenton - on and on about this that and the next, all of which would have been painful topics/memories for Jamie.
It seems that Robert and Lynda had decided to try and get Jamie to talk To show some emotion. To let it all out.
Which seemingly involves mind-numbing chat about wood, followed by rather aggressive twenty-questions.
No wonder Jamie was "pretending not to care".
Since when did punishment, followed by boredom, topped off with an inquisition ever make anyone feel like offloading?
[Robert] "how do I to get through to the lad without sounding like an old git"
[Lynda] " You only one year older than Sid was, you know"
Maybe Kathy is right. Maybe Sid was a Saint who really understood Jamie. Maybe he was a prince amongst old gits?
Either way - Bad Robert and Lynda. Bad, Bad, Bad. Never, ever, let me catch you doing that again. It greatly disturbed my evening.
"bad teenage behaviour can be the sign of a healthy personality"
As Robert pointed out, Lynda's certainly changed her tune!
She wanted to lynch the 'yobs' who had damaged the Bird Hide, but utterly changed tack when she knew Jamie was involved.
There's nothing like having consistency in one's belief, eh Lyndy?!?
What were the obscenities?
Odd that Ambridge should shy away from outright saying what the obscenities were (carved into the Bird Hide's bench).
Especially considering the language of some of the residents as of late.
I’m personally not offended by colourful language, but we must remember that some of our fellow eavesdroppers are simply not exposed to such vulgarities in their daily lives.
Still - we should really be told ...
Jazzer's eye got in the way of a big, hairy ...
... fist.
(I know. And I'm sorry for being so childish).
Jazzer's need for a bed to sleep in, and a lady to share it with, has landed him in trouble yet again.
This time, the lady in question's husband was an army chap who returned from his tour to find Jazzer with more than his feet under the table.
Jazzer's excuse was that he thought the husband was just a businessman.
Hmmm.
Have you seen how businessmen can cat fight over even the smallest of margin? Not necessarily chaps to dismiss out of hand, my fine friend Jazzer.
"I've naewhere to lay ma we heid"
With no room at The Bull, and an angry husband in Jazzer's temporary accommodation, it's Tom's turn to be emotionally blackmailed by Jazzer.
After sleeping rough at Camp Grundy (did Eddie and Joe know about that? Surely they'd have charged him?!?), Jazzer's desperate.
(which can be the only reason for anyone wanting to share a house with Tom. I’m still waiting on a good reason why Brenda puts up with the tediously arrogant Tom's Sausages).
"It's bad public relations to keep your pigmen in this state"
"I've a robbing brother, and a hardboiled ma"
Tom caves quite easily, though he'll now have to "sell" the (already agreed) arrangement to Brenda.
It's alright Tom. Brenda will respond nicely to a well designed flyer ...
The Archers: The Snells take revenge on The Harris' ... Helen's tired ... Jill buys a vase
- Bless the Snells and their wicked ways
- Pip's back at College
- Free the Pargetter One!
- A friend in need ... doesn't need Kirsty
- Thank god for that!
Bless the Snells and their wicked ways
Catching the Harris' children in the dining room eating breakfast, Lynda and Robert realise that it the Harris kids, and not the Harris parents, who've been making such a mess in their bathroom and stealing toilet roll.
The kids should have been camping at Camp Grundy, but they've been sneaked back in to use the Snell's facilities. Which they haven't paid for.
That they're now eating their cereal is just not on.
Robert creates a cunning plan, which is basically overcharging for a packet lunch in lieu of the extra costs.
Naughty!
But wait - there's more!
Cereal will now be brought to their table rather than be self services.
And next time the Harris' try to book a room, the Snells will ... wait for it ... tell them they have no room! Even if they do have!!!
Jinks! Who would ever have thought that such a nice couple would stoop so low ...
Pip's back at College
And no one harassed her about Jude.
So now she just has to work really hard to catch-up.
Think she'll do a Corrie Tracey and not come down from her bedroom for a few years?
I can but live in hope.
Free the Pargetter One!
There's poor Freddie frantically worrying about having to go a boarding school that he'll now not be sent to.
Tell the wee lad! He deserves to have a panic free childhood.
A friend in need ... doesn't need Kirsty
What is Kirsty thinking?
Or is she just not thinking?!?
I find her a very strange lass at times. She obviously cares for Helen, but why did she (a) give Leon Helen's number and now (b) tell Tom things about Helen that Kirsty knows she won't be happy about.
And as for her behaviour with Kenton ...
Spilling all to Tom about Helen feeling tired, and having been a bit freaked out by having the tests, was (in a round about way) a good thing. At least it got Tom talking to Helen about her pregnancy.
But when you have to out a proviso like
"don't tell her i said this - she would hate it if she knew we were talking behind her back"
onto a conversation, you know you're doing something a tad disloyal.
Either way, this could mean more support for Helen - or more 'I told you so' from Tony (after Tom also inevitably blabs to him as well).
Not sure about having to hear the 'love in the room' between Tom and Helen though ...
Thank god for that!
The chiller cabinet recording book was found in time, the chiller was at the right temperature, the cookery demo was well attended and sold lots of books, and more veg box orders were taken.
Good.
Just like Helen, I couldn't sleep for worrying.
The Archers: Josh helps Pip … Alysha and Kerry arrive in Ambridge
- If Eddie had been to College …
- Nope. Pip is still a madam
- Joe’s veg isn’t selling
- Four large tommies, two new ladies
If Eddie had been to College …
… he “might not have ended up hauling compost”
There’s always shit to shovel Eddie, no matter what you do for a living.
Nope. Pip is still a madam
Jude may be gone, but that doesn’t mean Pip isn’t still an annoying teen.
How cheeky was she, trying to guilt Ruth (while she was milking) into helping her to do her college assignment? The one which she left to that last minute. After trying to leave College. For a manboy.
At least she knows Josh has to see the hard cash before he’ll relent to help her. Even though she does seem to veer between ‘you’re doing really well’ and ‘you’re an idiot’ without warning.
Joe’s veg isn’t selling
Only £10 in one day, but at least he’s annoying Susan.
And at least Bartleby has shade and grass. It’ll be a nice change for him to be out and about on the green.
Four large tommies, two new ladies
And there was me thinking Joe was about to be busted for illegal veg trading, but it turned out to be a New Zealand sheep shearer (with her quiet mate).
Bert waxed so lyrical about Ambridge to Alysha and Kerry (our new New Zealand sheep shearing ladies), that they decided it must be experienced.
While it didn’t sound like Bert gave Camp Grundy a good review, and after initially seeming quite unimpressed about the campsite, it looks like they’ll be around for a week or so.
Not sure why they changed their mind and stayed – but the Grundy’s are taking the utter mick with their prices.
£10 a night! Outrageous when the only facility they have is a cold water tap.
Anyhoo – that’s another New Zealand connection (Kenton hooks up with one of them, then emigrates to be with them and his daughter?), and two potential love interests for all the single men of Ambridge.
Ruth’s worried about the fete’s beer tent … Eddie’s latest plan to make his fortune … Jude doesn’t sound all that pleased … Josh is quite literally taking up the reigns … David and Ruth might have to give way to Pip’s travel plans
- Eddie has a ‘real’ clairvoyant in his ‘real’ campsite
- If Jude thought that Pip was about to tell him she was pregnant …
- “Miserable little weasel”
Eddie has a ‘real’ clairvoyant in his ‘real’ campsite
Oh dear Eddie. Can you not see what’s about to happen? I’m sure your clairvoyant does, and it’s not because she has any special powers.
Seemingly, she
“Senses a horse’s cosmic aura”
and proved it by picking a winner.
Eddie reckons he’ll be able to turn up to work at Brookfield in a roller, now that he’s being more spiritual.
I can foresee a scam, Joe and Eddie losing money and Clarrie in a fearsome mood …
If Jude thought that Pip was about to tell him she was pregnant …
… that means Pip has not only let the slimy manboy get especially intimate with her AND she’s been daft enough to not take proper precautions.
Could that lass be any more stupid?
First off she’s now believing that Jude did call or answer her texts because he was getting drunk with his uncle (he must surely have a few more ladies on the go, despite me being unable to see why any woman would fall for his nonsense),
and she really can’t see that he doesn’t really want her to travel with him. Despite having to ask him that he does really want her, she’s easily satisfied with a few grunts from Jude.
But wait – she’s given him another excuse to not let her tag along. If she can’t get into America without her parent’s permission before she’s 18 (or at least not be able to do it as easily), surely he’ll grab onto the opportunity to bang on about how dull and tedious Europe is, therefore desperately needing to go to America without delay?
Or, will David and Ruth actually make it all so much easier for Pip?
“Miserable little weasel”
Despite David’s best intentions to thwart Pip’s plans to go away with Jude, Ruth is the ever present voice of reason.
Ruth is terrified at the thought of Pip having no money, and therefore being utterly dependent on Jude.
So, while neither of them like the idea of having to “bank roll” Pip’s travels, they also can’t cope with the idea that Pip wouldn’t have her own money – especially if her and Jude spilt up while on the other side of the world.
It’s a shame they don’t realise how lukewarm Jude is to Pip. If they did know, they’d be able to actually work with him to stop Pip leaving her education. As it is, they’re actually going to help Pip do the exact opposite of what Jude (seemingly) wants her to do.
Just when Jude thinks he can escape, mum and dad step in.
Whoops.
Caroline’s kept awake all night by bikers, but turns it to her advantage … Bikers had a ‘barney’ … Brian wins round 1 with Matt
- Bales to separate a fight?!?
- Who’d expect Caroline to be so canny?
- Why fruit pickers can’t have relationships
- “Alright matt – struck any good deals lately?”
Bales to separate a fight?!?
Hmmm. Not sure that’d work all that well. Surely they’d just set fire to it and hurl bit at each other?
Anyway, Eddie and Joe may be taking their money-spinning too far.
Rival bikers, in one field, with temporary membership of the cider club was only ever going to end one way.
That’s a massive stereotype, but the proof was definitely in the fighting!
So Caroline and Oliver were kept awake all night when the ‘Borchester Burners’ met their rivals, and Eddie’s can’t understand where they’re all coming from considering Fat Paul only has 8 Facebook friends.
*snort*
Who’d expect Caroline to be so canny?
Much to Eddie’s detriment, Caroline pulls a blinder and steals some of his customers away to Grey Cables.
Easy to forget that she’s not as drab as she might seem.
Why fruit pickers can’t have relationships
Because they fall for each other, then leave the job.
And, because Brian Aldridge has said so.
“Alright matt – struck any good deals lately?”
Oo-er Brian. That’s fighting talk, that is.
“could be quite interesting with Matt on the loose again”
Indeed. But aren’t you forgetting that Matt also has Lilian well and truly revved up for action?
That’s not a lady I’d like to mess with.
And is it just me, or is Matt warming Lilian up for a suggestion that Brenda should be working with them?
That’s where the fire engine went … Matt’s nice to Brenda … Camp Grundy has a new plan … welcome to ‘Bruce the relief manager’ …Sid - not out of sight, out of mind
- How clean was their cage?
- I think I’d have preferred the Grundy’s Open Farm Sunday
- Do we think Clarrie was embarrassed or murderous?
- Has Brenda been taking ‘street talk’ lessons off of Jude?
- Camp Grundy Plan B
- Kenton’s only the boyfriend
- The best shin dig The Bull’s ever seen
How clean was their cage?
Wasn’t that lovely hearing Eddie go all soft over his and Joe’s ferrets, Kim and Aggie.
They sound like happy, clean ferrets indeed.
“Give daddy a cuddle”
Aw – cute Eddie!
I think I’d have preferred the Grundy’s Open Farm Sunday
Arguments with punters – kids falling into compost - handbrake left off tractor – which then rolled into Clarrie's cake table - punters having to dive out the way – Barbarella (the sow) got spooked – took off and knocked over their only camper’s camping stove – who was luckily away for a piddle – tent goes on fire – Barbarella nearly becomes “smoky baking” – fire engine on the scene – and Clarrie “yet to see the funny side”
Or – a “squeaky clean” “wholesome family event” at the Archers?
Do we think Clarrie was embarrassed or murderous?
She warned them. She baked for them. Then they ran over her baking with a tractor.
I reckon Clarrie will definitely have murder in mind.
Has Brenda been taking ‘street talk’ lessons off of Jude?
“Must be a bummer”
“Whatever. I’ve moved on”
Hmmm. You must really ‘wow’ the clients with that grasped of the English language, PR guru lady!
Is Matt really being nice?
So, has Matt really changed, and is an all-round nice chap with a conscience?
As I heard him apologising to Brenda – I thought maybe.
But, then she made much lightness of Brenda’s belief that she’s more than a lackey
(“they really valued my input” *snort*)
And his interest in her was a bit suspicious.
What does Matt have in mind?
Camp Grundy Plan B
So Camp Grundy has gone from a rural retreat, to a biker’s meet
(see what I did there)
So Fat Paul’s biker mates are heading to Ambridge.
“It’s been put it onto the computer and everything”
Oh I hope Lynda gets her voice back soon. She’s not going to be a happy bunny …
Kenton’s only the boyfriend
So that’s why he didn’t drive them to the airport.
Huh?
The best shin dig The Bull’s ever seen
From an initial Thursday night minute silence … to making some noise!
Sounds grand.
I just wonder who might reappear to toast Sid …
Open Farm Sunday … Kathy sorts it out … Elizabeth still won’t leave it be
- “This little tube. It don’t look much. But down it goes when lambs won’t suck.”
- Oo-er – what’s gone on at the Grundy’s?
- Kenton has a lot to learn from Kathy
- And your point being what, Elizabeth?
“This little tube. It don’t look much. But down it goes when lambs won’t suck.”
Ah – the dulcet tones and rhymes of Bert. Bound to leave you better informed (though can offend some!).
Oo-er – what’s gone on at the Grundy’s?
It doesn’t sound good, whatever’s happened.
It would seem that the fire engine was on its way over (or was that a red herring?), but certainly the reports were that the Grundy’s Open Farm Sunday were in a bit of a “muddle”.
Still, David and Ruth’s clan seemed to fair well, with Pip returning to old form. For one day only?
Kenton has a lot to learn from Kathy
Kathy not only sorts out Fallon being able to fly to New Zealand, but also makes sure that the pub is covered.
See Kenton – that’s how you can support and think about other people.
Kathy’s in mourning, and also has to support poor Jamie, but still finds time to consider Fallon.
Funny that Kathy can do all of that, while you only seem to give a hoot about Jaxx.
And your point being what, Elizabeth?
Not content with trying to sort out the rift between Pip and her folks, Elizabeth seems to now be getting involved in Pip and Jude’s travel plans.
Why, oh why, oh why?
Is Nigel not doing his job as a husband properly (by getting the gorilla suit out on a regular basis)?
- Ebenezer Archer
- Do it Pip
- I’d go to see one pig and a few ferrets!
Ebenezer Archer
Joe Grundy wouldn’t be Joe Grundy if he wasn’t outraged at being charged for something.
I can see David’s point (that he’d be subsidising their profits if he didn’t charge), but have the suspicion that it’s more about not having to deal with the Grundy’s at Open Farm Sunday, rather than the cash.
Do it Pip
What on earth is wrong with Elizabeth?
Why all this interest in Pip?
And why should Pip have to tell her folks about missing an exam? Isn’t she old enough to be coping with her own mistakes? I think Pip is right that it’ll just make them more angry (though if that results on a new assault on Jude, that’s fine by me).
I know Elizabeth has had a checkered past, but this is all a bit too odd. Leave them be Elizabeth. They’ll manage to implode without your assistance.
Bless David for welling up when he was telling Pip that they have a lot of faith in her, and know she won’t let her down. Though, of course, that made it impossible for Pip to tell them about the missed exam.
Still, David and Ruth shouldn’t be putting that kind of pressure onto Pip. I think they shouldn’t be as involved in her College work as they are. She’s not a school kid anymore
(and as an aside – hurrah to the lack of Jude!)
I’d go to see one pig and a few ferrets!
The Grundy’s Open Farm Sunday sounds marvellous.
Especially if they do also have their compost, digger display and their mystery tour of their field.
Though why they think Tom’s sausages are foxy, I don’t know (or did I just hear that wrong?).
And also spare a thought for those campers who are expecting ‘peace and quiet’ but will get ‘fun and frolics for free’ (if Joe doesn’t get his way in charging them extra).
The war over Open Farm Sunday has begun …
- Also an Edwardian gem – but with less cars
- Lynda’s being funny
- Helen’s in a good mood
- Pat was right
Also an Edwardian gem – but with less cars
Brian and Jennifer are also interested in the same property that Matt and Lilian went to see yesterday.
They must’ve also gone at a time when the roads were less busy (far more quiet).
So shall commence a fresh new argument between Matt and Brian – with Lilian and Jennifer bound to fall out again.
Will Brian be sneaky enough to try and scupper Matt and Lilian through trying to show that Matt is the real ‘head’ of their business?
Lynda’s being funny
But we don’t get to hear it.
She can’t really think that the Grundy’s Campsite is any threat to her business?
Or is it just the principle of the thing?
Helen’s in a good mood
Hurrah!
How long until the rest of Ambridge find out that she’s pregnant?
And what will the reaction be?
Pat was right
Admitting you were wrong, and Pat was right, must’ve really hurt, Brian.
Still. Good to see everyone is happy with the new Village Shop.
Now, what can Susan do wrong in her new job at Bridge Farm? Clarrie seemed to be a bit odd when showing her the ropes. Did she miss something crucial which will lead to Clarrie ruining the yoghurt?
The anticipation …
- Grundy’s Field Campsite
- It’s not worth it Eddie!
- South Africa just doesn’t compare to Felpersham
- “Oh thank God” that’s Jude’s car
Grundy’s Field Campsite
For once, the Grundy’s are right and Brian is wrong.
Though I doubt that have done the Health and Safety checks – you can set-up a campsite with minimal facilities.
So what’s next?
Someone hurts themselves and they get sued? Wild stag parties that create havoc by trying to cow tip? The cows revolt and stampede through the campers? Floods? Joe selling his cider then getting arrested for having no licence?
It’s not worth it Eddie!
You’ll get caught – fired – then in major trouble with Clarrie.
Your dad Joe is just like having a devil on your shoulder.
South Africa just doesn’t compare to Felpersham
Sorry Kate. But it has to be utter bollocks that only Felpersham has the right course.
Still, can’t wait for the fireworks on your return!
“Oh thank God” that’s Jude’s car
Well that was something I didn’t see David ever saying.
I can see why he and Ruth felt they needed to compromise, but am truly gutted Jude is being let back onto the farm. The little swine will only think he’s won.
Still, it’s a good sign that Pip wanted to come home, and was heard to utter “my own fault.”
Maybe there’s hope yet? Or, now that she’s back at home, there’s always the ‘lock ‘em in’ solution.
- Stereotypes about builders
- Kenton tries it on with Kirsty
- Camp Grundy
- Wife Swap anyone?
Stereotypes about builders
Shame on you Kirsty. Of course they can help it!
And don’t builders now have to go on equality training?
Kenton tries it on with Kirsty
He’d better watch his step on that one. Cheesestraw will not be one to cross if she has yet more work to do (and lest we forget that her hormones are probably about to shoot through the dairy roof soon!)
Camp Grundy
Joe has a point about ‘back to basics’.
Folks do pay good money to be in the middle of a field, with no facilities. And they’d pay even more good money to have Joe’s barn within cider-goggles stumbling distance.
Wife Swap anyone?
What a wee shame that was on Peggy.
She’s been nervous about bumping into Ted again (after he invited her to lunch), but Jack gets in their first by refusing to be separated from Ted’s wife.
I know. It’s not funny. But maybe it’s time for Peggy to accept her Jack is no longer there?
