30th July 2010

The Archers: Joe’s boycott is over …Kathy calls Jamie’s teacher … Vicky discovers Tom’s no longer interested in making Veal and Ham Pies

• Energy Bars and working out
•  What’s a Millennium Wood?
•  £4.50!!!
•  Goodness me Kathy. Stop it!
•  That’s it Brenda. We’re truly over.
•  You won’t get away with that one, Tom

Energy Bars and working out

What’s Josh up to then?

Jamie’s right that all this preening must be for something other than to relieve boredom.

First he finds his voice, not he seems to have found his …


What’s a Millennium Wood?

I know there was lots of projects and 'stuff’ built and done to celebrate the millennium, but how does a forest figure?

Am I just being dense, or can a forest be created in inly 10 years???


£4.50!!!

When I was Josh’s age, I had 25p on a Friday to go to the local shop. I got a magazine, a juice, a packet of crisps and a wee poke of sweeties.

I also walked to school in the snow, had chance from 5p after going to the pictures and had second hand clothes until I was 18 …


Goodness me Kathy. Stop it!

I think we can all sympathise with Jamie in his frustration over Kathy.

We’ve all had enough. We all need a break. Please!!!

I do agree with Kathy that you have to watch what you post, say and do on the internet – but can’t she wind her neck in for just a second? Does doing the ‘right thing’ have to always come first?

“Mum – but that’s crazy”

Especially when Jamie’s teacher (Jackie Osborne) doesn’t really give much of a hoot about her picture being up and out.

But, even after Kathy knows that Jacky finds it rather funny. She still can’t let it go.

At this rate, she’ll lose a son as well as a partner.


That’s it Brenda. We’re truly over.

I may think you’re a bit dim. I may not understand what on earth you see in Tom’s Sausages. But, you’ve never irked or upset me. So I thought we were rubbing along quite nicely.

BUT that was before you uttered:

“See the amount of cosmetics she needs to stop her falling apart”

You were laughing at our Lilian. Unforgiveable.

Quite simply, you’re not good enough to even collect her shopping.


You won’t get away with that one, Tom

And while I’m on about Brenda, she surely isn’t going to let her dad’s wife spend her time and money on a venture she knows won’t work?

Hopefully she’s letting Tom wind her up (by saying that he isn’t going on with the veal and ham pies because it “didn’t feel right somehow” and that he’s let her down), but I’m not quite sure.

And lest we forget that we haven’t as yet seen the full version of Vicky’s nasty side.

I know who’d my money would be on …

28th July 2010

The Archers … Tom decides on whether to go ahead with Veal and Ham Pie … Jamie’s Facebook causes problems … Picture of Helen’s baby … Brian’s steams ahead with his business project

• Brian tells Tom
• First it sounds like they don’t know how to switch a computer on …
• … then they’re on Facebook
• Ouch! The pitfalls of social media for teachers
• Three words I’d never thought I’d hear put together – Helen, healthy, happy
• Only 30-40 pies a week?

Brian tells Tom

Brian really knows how to wind Tom up, and make him feel like a wee schoolboy who doesn’t know his cash flow from his profit!

Telling Tom that his veal and ham pies would be too niche a market – a gamble – and that he doesn’t have the capital to even start up – Brian’s reminding Tom that he ‘could have had all this’ if he hadn’t gone it alone.

As annoying as Brian can be at time, he certainly does know how to make money.


First it sounds like they don’t know how to switch a computer on …

Which was Kathy and Pat talking about printing “thingys”, thinking it’d take 10 minutes to print off one sheet of A4 and wondering how on earth they can find out what’s on for teenagers by using the internet


… then they’re on Facebook

Kathy then jumps onto the computer, and starts using Facebook.

Which is yet another mention of Facebook in Ambridge.

Think Mark Zuckerberg has shares in the village shop, so they have to play nice?


Ouch! The pitfalls of social media for teachers

I think Kathy is right to tell Jamie to take his teacher’s picture off of his Facebook page, but it’s only natural that he’d want it up there. And isn’t it Kenton’s fault for having it on his website? But ultimately, people in the public eye (even if that’s just a very local eye).

I’d be surprised if Kenton even knows what Jamie’s teacher looks like. So I suppose all Kenton was really doing was showing that Jaxx is a fun place to be. If fun is looking totally wasted …

And Jamie shouldn’t really have his mum as a friend. Isn’t that just asking for trouble? Where’s the fun in mucking around with mates online if mum can check up on what you’ve been saying?

Either way, Kathy will blame Kenton, so we’re due another shouting match over the next day or so.

Ah, the joys.


Three words I’d never thought I’d hear put together – Helen, healthy, happy

Pat was showing Tom a ‘sneak preview’ picture of Helen’s baby (which he just about managed to muster a smile over), and all seems well.

Helen was just coming in as we moved on from Bridge Farm, but if Helen is indeed happy- maybe we’re all about to experience a completely new Helen.

Still, there’s plenty of time for something to go awry. That’s be far more in character …


Only 30-40 pies a week?

Despite desperately wanting to go ahead with the veal and ham pies to prove a point to Brian – Tom’s found his own sense, and won’t be going ahead.

Seems that the feedback only suggested that he’d sell 30-40 pies a week, so it’s “not worth the hassle”

That should make Vicky a happy lady again (albeit still very bitter at him), but what’s next?

Who else can Tom steal an idea from?

26th July 2010

The Archers: Tom’s on about pies … Shula! … Brenda makes mistakes … Kathy’s on about Kenton

• Tom, let your pies cool down first. Let them cool down …
• Ooh – catty Brenda
• I nearly got as big a shock as Susan!
• Joe’s cartful
• A ploy or just dim?
• Kathy “just seems to be an irritation”
• “You don’t go into my counter!”
• Will Kenton rise to the occasion?

Tom, let your pies cool down first. Let them cool down …

As @JunkyardSoul mentioned on Twitter – Tom is now just all about the pies.

Will no-one think of the sausages?


Ooh – catty Brenda

That’s why Brenda’s doesn’t care that Tom’s ‘stolen’ Vicky’s veal and ham pie idea.

She can’t stand Vicky. I’d totally forgotten about that.


I nearly got as big a shock as Susan!

Shula!

You’ve been so quiet of late. And then you walk back into the most controversial, hotly debated, excruciatingly political Village Shop. I think you could have chosen better …


Joe’s cartful

Well, it’s better than the one man boycott. He’s at least making a point, and making a few pennies at the same time.

Naughty naughty Shula for buying his veg, then being daft enough to let it be seen in the Village Shop.


A ploy or just dim?

So do we think Brenda is deliberately trying to play Lilian, or is she just really that stupid?

As Lilian said, all she had to do was remember (and say) three simple words when answering the phone.

Infact, almost any combination of words would have been okay, except

“ Matt’s Crawford office”

And later, it turns into “Lambside Properties”

She knows Lilian doesn’t want her there, so why not be extra careful to avoid any confrontation?

Or does Brenda think (or know?) that Matt’s the real boss of the business?

Somehow, I don’t think Lilian is going to be walked over by Matt this time. Brenda better become Sweden quick sharp.


Kathy “just seems to be an irritation”

Her words, not mine, but oh so true.


“You don’t go into my counter!”

That’s seemingly “not allowed”, but it sounded like Susan was more angry about “her space” being violated, than any Post Office regulation being broken.

Volunteers stealing, swapping shifts, mucking up the till, buying veg off of Joe … and now going against all of Susan’s Post Office principles.

Susan is going to blow up properly, any second now …


Will Kenton rise to the occasion?

Probably not.

Well, not at his joint birthday party with Shula. He’ll likely miss it by being at Jaxx, then spend another night at Kirsty’s while Kathy gets a head of steam nicely worked up.

“ I can’t keep up appearances anymore”

says Kathy

But she again turns this into Jamie’s issue (that he needs a “man around”, but Kenton just isn’t there for him).

The split surely has to come soon, it’s just whether Kirsty is going to be cited as the reason for the acrimony …

14th July 2010

The Archers: Jolene forgets the cream and the beer tent … The Strange Affair at Ambridge Towers takes shape … Alan advises Fallon

• Freda’s got trifles to make this afternoon
• Inspirational headstones
• Poisoning by veal and ham pie
• Jim’s in a ponderous mood
• Who did Jim meet on his cruise?
• Both Kathy and Kenton should get advice from Alan

Freda’s got trifles to make this afternoon

And she can’t be doing that without cream.

Jolene’s taken a complete break from reality, which leaves Fallon with a lot to cope with.

Fingers still crossed that the will reading doesn’t have something in it which pushes Jolene completely over the edge …


Inspirational headstones

You have to hand it to Lynda – she certainly doesn’t do anything half hearted.

So The Strange Affair at Ambridge Towers is going to include many names which are familiar to us all, simply because Lynda took her inspiration from the churchyard’s headstones (which Beatrix Potter also used to do, apparently).

Tom Gabriel – which I reckon is Tom Forrest and Walter Gabriel

Raith Fairbrother – stumped on Raith (anyone?), and I think that the only Fairbrother to be buried in St. Stephen’s was Grace (so maybe her gravestone has a ‘nee’ on it?)

Also no idea about who ‘the wife Lette’ could be,

Although ‘mother Doris Perkins’ has to be Doris Archer, with Mrs P (Polly Perkins).

I though Jill might have been a bit miffed to be asked to play that part …


Poisoning by veal and ham pie

Tom’s either trying to wind Vicky up, or he’s just a bit dim. That’d be a 50:50 split for me.

Why on earth did he send Vicky his questionnaires about veal and ham pie?

He may care tuppence about what she thinks, but what goes around comes around. Especially when you’re winding up your finance’s step-mum.

Vicky’s going to harangue Mike, who’ll join in with her to hassle Brenda, who ultimately have to try and stop Tom if she wants any peace.

Is the profit that Tom will makes out of these pies really worth all the domestic strife?


Jim’s in a ponderous mood

“Young love … one of the consolations of growing old is one will never have to experience it again.”

“It is not so much our friends help that helps us, as the confident knowledge that they will help us”

Who did Jim meet on his cruise?

And there was me thinking that The Strange Affair at Ambridge Towers was usurping the yearly search for a celebrity to open the village fete.

Just who could Jim have met? Will it be a biggie? Or will it be someone who only Jim thinks is of celebrity stature?


Both Kathy and Kenton should get advice from Alan

He’s a vicar and a darn good sage.

His advice to Fallon was ultimately to

“let things run their course”

But that she’s been doing everything right in trying to support Jolene.

“gentle loving support”

“ be there when she needs you”

“let her talk when she wants to”

“let her cry”

“ don’t hurry her”

Sound advice. If only Kenton could do that for Kathy – Kathy for Kenton – Kathy and Kenton for Jamie …

15th June 2010

Jill’s veal and ham pie … Ambridge finds itself host to bikers …Tom behaves ‘dishonourably’ to Vicky over the aforementioned veal and ham pie … The Village Shop gets a tad mixed up

• Jill finds Tom a recipe, then drops him right in it
• Tyre marks on the grass
• A Guardian instead of a Telegraph
• Brenda gets it tight from Vicky …
• …then Tom’s a ‘little traitor’

Jill finds Tom a recipe, then drops him right in it


After being so helpful to Tom, will Jill rue the day that she got involved in the great Veal and Ham pie shenanigans?

It wasn’t her fault that she unwittingly let Vicky know what Tom was up to. But, with Tom’s demands for a pie to feed 20-25 people – will Jill, and her range, cope?

Better off out of it, methinks.


Tyre marks on the grass

Vicky’s a right one to talk. She’s not quite whiter than white when it comes to judging people by their appearances.

Mike and Jill are right that it can be hard to challenge someone about their behaviour these days (I hate saying it was ‘better in the old days’, but it’s absolutely true that you could stop someone doing something naughty, without being scared that you’ll end up six feet under).

But these bikers don’t exactly sound like Hell’s Angels.

Dropping crisp packets and making marks on the grass – isn’t that like your average group of school kids?!?


A Guardian instead of a Telegraph

Susan won’t be happy that Oliver got the wrong paper.

But just who gets the Guardian? I’d have pegged most Ambridge folks as either Telegraph and Times for broadsheets – The Sun for tabloid – and local for a gentle read.

But then again, the odd liberal attitude does sometimes find its way into the village.

More importantly – where’s all these shift swaps going to end?

Susan in a right shouty mood, I reckon.


Brenda gets it tight from Vicky …

Which she doesn’t need, especially when she has to get her own cappuccino.

Still, it’s a good strategy on Vicky’s part to go to the one person who Tom actually has to listen to!


…then Tom’s a ‘little traitor’

But does Tom actually give a hoot?

Despite all of Vicky’s please and administrations:

“Very disappointed”

“all my hard earned research”

“what a fool I’ve been”

“ dishonourable”

“shabby”

“industrial espionage”

“How am I going to tell the bull calves?”

Tom just came back with:

“things change”

“It’s a different product – mine will be organic”

Tom is right that this can just be the way business is done, but he’s an idiot for thinking he’ll get away with it.

In the first place, it isn’t good local business practise (local folks are fast to take sides), and he is also forgetting that Vicky could be his mother-in-law one day.

As much as Brenda dislikes Vicky, she’ll surely take the side of her dad – who will be right behind Vicky.

And just wait until Ed kills the bull calves for not being profitable.

Tom will wake up to find “bull cow murderer” sprayed on his burger van.

“It’s all gone horribly wrong”

It’ll get far, far worse before it’ll get better.

7th April 2010

• Vicky needs Gok Wan ... and has something different to offer to Ian
• Veal pie? 
• All because the lady loves leeks

Vicky needs Gok Wan ... and has something different to offer to Ian

You can say all you like about Vicky, but when she wants something, she’s like a terrier after a rat.

Ed’s onto a hiding to no-where if he thinks Mike will do anything other than meekly comply to Vicky’s demands.

And what a temper Mike has when someone dares to challenge his wife!


Veal pie?

Hmmm. Not sure it’d ever be sold at Greggs, but am sure there foodies out there who would relish it.

Watch this space for the dairy round being slowly overtaken by Vicky and her Veal .


All because the lady loves leeks

Fair do to Jazzer for keeping up the effort.

Though, leeks, rapeseed oil and dodgy yoghurt doesn’t sound like the most romantic way to show a lady he cares.