Pondering The Archers: sticky wicket

Tracey makes more moves on Ifty

Tracey’s managed to get a deckchair next to Ifty, and is trying to show her cricketing knowledge. Which includes shouting at the Umpire that he got his decision wrong (Neil out to Harry):

[Tracey] “I’ll have a word of it later. He proper muffed it … problem is, I take my cricket seriously me. Reckon if brad and Chelsea hadn’t come along,. I’d have joined the barmy army … captain of the netball team in the juniors, wing attack …”

She then gets hot. Has to take her cardigan off. And asks Ifty to rub in some sun lotion …

[Ifty, sound exasperated] “Tracey, we’re in Ambridge, not Ayia Napa”

Later on, Ifty doesn’t even want Tracey’s prawns:

[Tracey] “…and they’ve got cheese. Cheese never harmed anyone, did it?”

Probably not. But scalding hot tea does harm one when it’s dropped onto their knee.

Which Tracey does to Ifty.

Yup. He’ll be hers in no time.

The pollen count keeps Lynda away

I’ll bet the rest of the Ambridge residents wish they’d know it was that easy years ago!

Elona and Darrell’s daughter Rosa

Rosa started speaking near the secret microphones today. And made quite an impact.

She first got told to “joy off to the rest of the kids” when she interrupted Tracey’s attempted flirtations with Ifty.

[Rosa] “I’m not a kid. I have a job!”

Indeed you do. With Mike, bottling. When she later has a chat with (at!) Mike about Ifty:

[Rosa] “I heard looked like he was in a boyband … that’s the old bloke who gave me a deckchair!”

But, Rosa definitely does like Jamie:

[Rosa] “I’ve enjoyed watching you play, I er, haven’t been able to keep my eyes off you”

Jamie sounded quite pleased to hear that. Not sure his girlfriend Natalie will be …

Ambridge cricket team won!

Against the Borchester Old Boys by 4 runs.

Good good.

Jamie and Roy in the final

Jamie won!

Well done Jamie. Well done indeed. Sid would be bursting with pride.

Mike gave Jamie a job

Clearing and logging timber on the estate with Mike. He seems really chuffed about that.

It also means he’s working for the same boss as Rosa:

[Rosa] “He can be a bit gruff, but he’s a big softy really.”

Monday, 23 May 2011

The Archers Sunday 22nd May 2011: Neither Kenton nor Jill can persuade Elizabeth

How long does it take to fix a waste bin?
“I should have waited before blundering in”
Elizabeth threatens Kenton
Come on Neil – it’s got Almond icing!
“Barry still gets his hair cut from the 1980s”
Ambridge lost at cricket
Jolene wants to prove herself to Kathy
Clarrie’s useless at keeping family secrets
Ambridge … the new Cranford?
“If David hadn’t goaded …”

How long does it take to fix a waste bin?

Only five minutes, according to Elizabeth.

She’s turning into a bit of a Victorian factory owner, though.

Fancy expecting Aaron (her employee – probably on rock bottom wage) to come in on his day off to fix it.

Almost as if she’s lady of the manor …

[Elizabeth] “I want things running smoothly when I’m off. I won’t be taken advantage of …”

But it’s okay to take advantage of a poor salary monkey? You’ll be first against the wall with that sort of talk, Elizabeth

“I should have waited before blundering in”

Kenton tried to talk to Elizabeth about David, but she was having none of it.

Then launched into an almighty rant:

[Elizabeth] “How do you think it felt? Finding out that David was responsible for what happened. That was dreadful enough, but what I can begin to get over … to admit he’s been lying about it ever since …my own brother, here coming here virtually every day to help out, and saying nothing

“How about having a bit of courage and opening his mouth … to be so deceitful … well damn him!”

[Kenton] “Then be mad with me as well. It’s as much as my fault as his … I mean, it was my idea to put the banner there in the first place”

[Elizabeth] “You didn’t taunt Nigel … you didn’t work beside me … knowing what you’d done, saying absolutely nothing about it”

[Kenton] “I’m sorry. I should have waited before blundering in”

Elizabeth threatens Kenton

After ranting about David, Elizabeth then warns Kenton off trying to even begin mending the rift.

She basically said that he’d better not talk about it again to ensure:

[Elizabeth] “we’re going to be alright in the future”

Hmmm.

Elizabeth could end up with no family if she carries out threats like that.

[Elizabeth] “Just accept I never want anything to do with David again”

She’s only going to make it easy for the rest of the clan to choose sides …

Come on Neil – it’s got Almond icing!

Neil is very non-plussed about his birthday.

He’s only 54 (by my reckoning), but his cricket mates seem to be taking the Michael that he’s now a bit over the hill.

But Susan is still planning a “few sandwiches and a bit of cake … with almond icing”

Now there’s an offer a birthday boy can’t refuse – no matter what age!

Neil’s also got fire in his belly about the Single Wicket. He reckons he’ll prove himself by winning.

My money is on Jamie.

“Barry still gets his hair cut from the 1980s”

So says Neil.

Ambridge lost at cricket

To Paxley.

Jolene wants to prove herself to Kathy

At last – Jolene’s taking Kathy seriously.

Kathy was in The Bull, “not in the best of moods” according to Jolene.

She wasn’t happy that Jamie was still working in The Bull during his exams. Jolene had to explain that Jamie simply hadn’t told her that he’s agreed with Kathy to talk about it.

[Jolene] “She said she felt let down … she’d been counting on my support”

So, Jolene’s going to trim down Jamie’s hours so that Kathy knows she’s taking notice of her wishes.

There ya go Jamie – pincher movement. About time!

Clarrie’s useless at keeping family secrets

While working with Susan, Clarrie’s let slip about the whole Will wanting to procreate with Nic issue.

[Susan] “ … and she said both her boys are natural fathers … that’s when she let it slip …’our William would love another one’ …”

Whoops.

Susan bided her time before pushing Clarrie on what she’s just said (and tried to ignore she’d just said)

[Neil] “Don’t tell me you actually got on with some work””

[Susan] “Waited a few minutes, until we’d made some headway with fruits of the forest … turns out she (Nic) didn’t like the idea at all … I can’t help it if Clarrie confides in me”

So, Clarrie has told Eddie and Susan when she shouldn’t. Clarrie has now told Neil and Emma (!) when she shouldn’t.

Seemingly Emma was fascinated about the news (I’ll bet!), though Susan reckons that when she said to Clarrie she wouldn’t tell anyone, it didn’t meant she wouldn’t tell family.

And in amongst all of that, Neil can’t get to his pigs for Susan getting in the way.

Ambridge … the new Cranford?

Susan seems to be slowing down in her new found passion about reading.

While she claims that she’s ‘savouring’ Cranford (the next Book Club book), it just sounds like she’s finding it a bit of a bore.

[Clarrie] “Jennifer’s right. It’s a landmark of 19th century literature … all that seems to happen in it is all the women in Cranford get together and spend their time gossiping”

[Neil] “Oh. Nothing like Ambridge then”

“If David hadn’t goaded …”

Jill is having a go at talking to Elizabeth about David.

Elizabeth isn’t having it. But Jill isn’t one for giving up on her family.

[Jill] “Elizabeth, we mustn’t let this tragedy because even worse … what happened to Nigel … there’s no logic or reason to it … there’s non-one to blame either … you mustn’t’ let it break up the family … it’s not about fault .. what happened was a tragic, meaningless accident … that’s the awful truth”

But, Elizabeth reckons that it is squarely David’s fault. He “goaded” Nigel into going up on that roof, and has

[Elizabeth] “destroyed my family”

Jill’s going to have to do more than tea and cake to heal this one …

Sunday, 15 May 2011

The Archers Friday 13th May 2011: Eddie’s in trouble

click the title above, or the'read more' link below the bullet points, to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

Ruth’s refreshing the shearers
Exams are good for Shula
At least the puppy show is on track
“On the bypass, having me sarnies”
“worse than the riddle of the sphinx”
Sticky Wicket #2
David’s better?

Ruth’s refreshing the shearers

Bless Ruth and her cans of lemonade.

Exams are good for Shula

Daniel’s studying hard. Which is great news for Shula.

[Shula] “At least it means exams don’t turn me into some kind of nagging harridan”

Well, that’s one instance we can all remember …

At least the puppy show is on track

Caroline is too busy to spend time with Oliver, so he’s often to be found riding by himself.

At least this time Shula joins him – and she’s agreed to do the catering for the puppy show.

[Ruth] “You know what they say. If you want something done, ask a busy woman”

(I still want to know what thus puppy show is all about)

“On the bypass, having me sarnies”

Clarrie calls Eddie in a bit of tizzy:

[Clarrie] “Don’t you Clarrie love me Eddie Grundy. Where the heck are you?”

[Eddie] “On the bypass, having me sarnies”

Wrong answer, Eddie.

You were meant to pick Clarrie up at lunchtime, so that she could get home to make Joe his dinner. She hasn’t got a very long lunchtime as she’s having to make up time at work for taking the time off for the dentist.

So fair do that she’s annoyed with Eddie for forgetting – she’s having to rush round after everyone else, and asked him for one thing!

She’s also still annoyed with him for falling asleep at her birthday dinner last night (Eddie was seemingly also “loud … embarrassing … tipsy”).

On top of that, she’s worried about Nic and Will …

“worse than the riddle of the sphinx”

Clarrie can’t quite put her finger on what she thinks is wrong between Nic and Will, but there’s something she’s picking up on that she’s not happy about.

Eddie gets a bit frustrated that she’s basing her concerns on ‘atmosphere’ (which is the sphinx reference).

[Clarrie] “Something just didn’t feel right between them.”

Eddie reckoned it was nothing more than an argument they must have had before they all arrived for Carrie’s birthday dinner, which had created the odd atmosphere:

[Eddie] “And it was there. Like a damp sock. Hanging at the back of things”

But that doesn’t satisfy Clarrie. She knows Nic wasn’t herself (“guarded … not like her bubbly self”).

Sticky Wicket #2

Shula is hassling David about the sticky wicket – Harry has already signed up, as has Tom and Alistair. Tony is the Umpire, and Jim’s doing the scoring.

And David is also happy to sign-up.

Oooh – exciting times!

David’s better?

The aeration machine has arrived at Lower Loxley, and Ruth is fine with David taking a couple of days away from Brookfield to help out.

Even more than that – she thinks Alistair’s chat with David has worked wonders.

David is more positive and has more energy.

But we, of course, know better than that. We eavesdropped on Alistair’s chat, and it was fairly useless (through no fault on Alistair trying).

Oh dear. The worse can happen if no-one knows everything isn’t okay.

Friday, 4 June 2010

1st June 2010

“The Mother flaming Theresa Botham”

Being gay makes you tidy and a good cook

“You gave me quite enough help last night”

Ragged Trouser Philanthropist

“The Mother flaming Theresa Botham”

Hmmm. Nope. That one doesn’t work, Jazzer.

So the vicar fixed the Sticky Wicket for Harry. Not a likely one either Jazzer.

I am getting a tad irritated with Jazzer. You now know exactly what to expect when he opens his mouth. If it isn’t a rant about Harry, it isn’t Jazzer speaking.

How long can we expect this to go on for? Isn’t there a point when Harry just walks up to Jazzer and gives him a jolly good tap on the chin?

“Her imaginary love life is none of your business”

Quite right too Tom.

But is ‘Harry and Fallon’ always just going to be in Jazzer’s imagination?

Being gay makes you tidy and a good cook

So all’s well with Brenda sharing a flat with a bloke because he’s gay.

Did I miss Tom slipping back a few decades to pick up his archaic attitudes towards relationships?

Does he not realise that while Brenda’s flatmate isn’t a ‘threat’, there are other men in the city? And, that Brenda might actually leave the flat and go out of an evening?

I’ll forgive Tom nearly being a complete arse about being gay – but he really has to stop this nonsense over not trusting Brenda.

Or, is he just picking up on vibes that Brenda’s sending out? Remember the time she went on a girly razzle minus engagement ring???

“You gave me quite enough help last night”

*snort*

Course, it was just Harry helping Fallon out in the Bull.

So far.

The Ragged Trouser Philanthropists

Nice mention of The Ragged Trouser Philanthropists by Robert Tressell (especially timely as I’d just finished reading it the other week!).

And love that all Lilian got from it was the often below par quality of Edwardian building.

You simply could expect our Lilian to take the abject poverty on board.

Oh no. Where Jennifer saw socialism, Lilian saw bad workmanship. Marvellous.

Monday, 31 May 2010

31st May 2010

It’s a wicket that’s sticky

“She’s got her reputation to consider”

It’s a wicket that’s sticky

Oh the drama! The excitement! The Sticky Wicket!!!

Hotly anticipated (!), it’s finally time for the sticky wicket competition.

Actually, it was made a bit more of an event with Harry’s move into the Bull to make sure he could play – which, of course, has resulted in an even more surly and angry Jazzer.

“How English can you get? Sportsman like! Get out there and win!!!”

Said a rather over enthusiastic Jazzer to Tom. Desperate for Tom to beat Harry, Jazzer had backed the wrong mule this time.

So Harry romps it in front of a huge club of fans, and gathers a few new fans on the making.

“Harry is just what this village needs - did you see that boy play?”

Looks like Harry won’t be leaving Ambridge anytime soon. Sorry about that Jazzer.

“She’s got her reputation to consider”

And you’re clutching at straws, Mr McCreary.

Tuesday, 18 May 2010

18th May 2010

The gift that keeps on giving

The corkscrew has moved, but brandy upstairs ….

Ask Kenton about the Sticky Wicket

Did I hear silage mentioned?

The gift that keeps on giving

Never mind Eddie and Joe – the good was going while David didn’t know about it.

Of course he has right on his side, but didn’t he seem a bit pompous?

Casting up is never a good thing, and telling someone they only got the job because of you doing a good deed is a tad off-hand. Didn’t Eddie have a part to play in it?

Still – one cannot step on the reputation of Saint David, and he did at least pre-warn Eddie so that he wasn’t fired.

Yet.

The corkscrew has moved, but brandy upstairs …

I know Matt doesn’t have that many fans out there, but I was glad to see him back at home with his Pusscat.

New robe, long shower, good food, a garden to relax in and a lovely woman to share it with.

A happy, fruity sounding Lilian. Just as we like her.

Ask Kenton about the Sticky Wicket

Seriously, I’ve said it before – but does anyone ever say anything nice about Kenton, or take an interest in him?

Did I hear silage mentioned?

That, and the Sticky Wicket, must mean that summer has started.

16th May 2010

Sticky Wicket Bullying

Seriously. You can’t say ‘no’ to Vicky

The bull or an early night?

Matt scores the decider, with only one night to go

Sticky Wicket Bullying

Yup. It’s Alistair bullying about the sticky wicket. Again.

Seriously. You can’t say ‘no’ to Vicky

Mike couldn’t.

Brenda failed.

Ed’s going to hate to use that adjustable spanner to make her listen.

And even the normally self-serving Tom couldn’t stop Vicky’s march forwards.

The bull or an early night?

Tom wants the bull, Brenda wants an early night – but it’s all academic as Brenda has to do the cooking for the week.

Fast forward 20 years into their marriage. Tom is down the pub. Brenda is doing the dishes after cooking Sunday lunch, coping with their 5 kids, wondering where he career, opportunity and life went …

Mind you, that’s assuming Tom even managed to get Brenda down the aisle. Doesn’t look too good at the moment.

And Matt scores the decider, with only one night to go

Was that me, or did Matt sound like a completely different man?

Not sure if he has a great councillor, priest or cellmate inside, but he must be talking to someone who is helping him to notice his mistakes, and apologise for them before he causes any real damage.

And it appeared to be heartfelt.

He’s an idiot. Realised his mistake. Called himself an idiot. Told Lilian that it was her he wanted to come home to. And even realised that he couldn’t take Lilian for granted.

Whether that was all for real or not, Matt could have just grasped Lilian away from Paul, with only seconds left of injury time.

Wednesday, 12 May 2010

9th May 2010

Can’t Tom do the cooking?

Give it a wallop

Your Sticky Wicket needs you

We just don’t like Jude

Can’t Tom do the cooking?

Did I hear Brenda just say she’d done all of the cooking for the week?

I know Tom has expressed rather dated attitudes towards what he expects of a wife, but surely Brenda needs to make sure that they both share the domestic burden that her new job has created?

Not so much the modern woman after all.

Give it a wallop

And that makes for great video footage.

Jill does seem to be a natural, though. Following on from her stellar performance at Lower Loxley’s Christmas, she seems to have taken to the small screen with gusto.

Maybe she is the new Delia/Nigella/Fanny after all.

Your Sticky Wicket needs you!

It’ll be an on-going theme until the Sticky Wicket actually takes place, but, yet another year – and no-one is signing up for the sticky wicket. Again.

We just don’t like Jude

I think all of us are behind you on that one, Ruth.

“Mindless and irresponsible”

Spot on. While I don’t think he’s doing any of it on purpose, Jude is indeed deficient in all the important areas that would make him even a half decent person. No character at all.