The Archers Monday 6th June 2011: Phoebe reckons Kate’s her “real mum”

• Harris Hawks are co-operative
• “What this, a bonk buster?”
• Ed is such a gent
• “Jo’burg isn’t like Ambridge”
• Oliver laughed like Walter Gabriel
• Ed’s being watched over?
• David has a nice bit of hay
• “a collective outburst of soppiness”

Harris Hawks are co-operative

I also “didn’t necessarily” know that, so Roy was quite right to mention it on the Falconry bit of the Lower Loxley website.

And seemingly Eleanor came out best in the photographs.

AND Jessica breeds all her own Falcons herself. So none are ‘taken’ from the wild for the great unwashed’s entertainment.

Well done Eleanor. And well done Jessica.


“What this, a bonk buster?”

Emma still has Susan’s copy of Mistress of the Paddocks, when Ed spots it.

Seemingly Emma can’t get even get passed page one.

She reckons it’s because she hasn’t got time.

I just don’t reckon Emma is the book type, regardless of the subject matter.


Ed is such a gent

He and Emma were just settling down for a bit of a sit, when Oliver turns up.

The last thing they wanted was a visitor, but Ed was a good enough chap to not mention that to Oliver, instead made him feel completely welcome.

Good boy, is our Ed.

Sometimes.

As long as it doesn’t involve his brother’s wife …


“Jo’burg isn’t like Ambridge”

Phoebe tells Roy what’s what over a cappuccino.

Roy is trying to persuade her just to go to South Africa for the summer. And how much everyone will miss her if she goes for a whole year. And how Abbie will forget her if she does go for the year. And her mates.

Fairly hefty emotional blackmail, if you ask me.

What does Phoebe reckon?

[Phoebe] “It was really hard saying goodbye … they’re my family too, you know … Lucas’ family really rate me, you know … you could all come over and see me for Christmas!”

But Roy pleads poverty.

[Phoebe] “I want an adventure, right, and all you’re doing is slapping me down !”

[Roy] “I can’t promise … it’s Hayley. She just loves you so, so much, Phoebe, she’d worry every day if you’re away for so long.”

(naughty Roy, blaming Phoebe)

[Phoebe] “I love you both dada and that’s never going to change… you’re my mum and dad … but I’ve got two families … I need to spend time with my real mum now… I want to get to know everything about her. Surely you can see that?”

Well, I think phoebe has a point. She does need to spend time with Kate if that what she feels she needs to do. If only to discover exactly what Kate is like …

… which is why Hayley is so determined that Phoebe shouldn’t find that out while she’s so far away from her and Roy.

Would seem Roy is weakening, though.



Oliver laughed like Walter Gabriel

And woke up Keira.

Quite bizarre.


Ed’s being watched over?

Ed thinks Oliver is keeping an eye on him – that he doesn’t trust him to run the herd properly.

[Emma] “That’s what retired people do, holding you up when you trying to work. Joe’s always doing it”

Eh Emma? What work would you be doing, then?

(I know – she does plenty. But boy, does she make sure we all know about it)

Anyhoo, Ed doesn’t need to be worried.

Oliver is just bored.

As he later mentions to David, he has little desire to return to work:

[Oliver] “If I’m honest, the worrying was the reason I gave up the herd”

David has a nice bit of hay

According to Oliver.

[David] “ …(I have) a sneaking nostalgia for hay making, I must confess”

He sounds a bit happier in his work. Even though it’s 6 months since Nigel died …


“a collective outburst of soppiness”

Has occurred at Brookfield, according to David.

And it’s all Tigg’s fault.

Ah well. Anything to lighten the mood.

The Archers Wednesday 1st June 2011: Tigg arrives at Brookfield

• Why no memory stick?
• “The sponge rubber people aren’t our biggest clients, but they do go back a long way”
• Of course Jessica has perked up!
• Get a puppy – problem solved
• The waterpark isn’t as good as a puppy
• Open Farm at Home Farm?

Why no memory stick?

A presenter, doing a presentation at Lower Loxley, is panicking in case his laptop fails him. So Roy has another one lined up for him.

Any presenter worth his salt surely takes another copy of their presentation on a memory stick?

Planning, people. Planning.


“The sponge rubber people aren’t our biggest clients, but they do go back a long way”

So says Elizabeth. So Roy takes good care of them.


Of course Jessica has perked up!

It would be sometimes easy to think that Elizabeth is just a bit dim.

She seems surprised Jessica is happier since was told that the Falconry wasn’t closing.

But – it’s not being Elizabeth dim – she’s just being her usual self-centred self.

She has no idea that her making a decision can impact on someone else. And that some folks actually depend on their jobs to earn a living.

Silly moo.

But at least Roy got a nice moment.

[Roy] “When Jessica hugs you, you stay hugged”

Get a puppy – problem solved!

David sounded so happy with Tigg.

In fact, that’s the happiest David has sounded since Nigel died.

Tigg is short for Tigger, as they reckon he “bounces all over the place”.

And he also listens. David was already getting him to respond to some basic commands.

Right. So we leave David in a room with Tigg for a few months, and problems solved?



The waterpark isn’t as good as a puppy

According to Freddie.

He’s miffed that he thought he was going to Brookfield to see Tigg.

But Elizabeth takes them to waterworld instead.

They take ages to get there (bad traffic), and they have to leave early as it’s too busy, and Freddie is still in a grump.

Or at least, Lily reckons that Freddie spoiled it for everyone.

Roy offers to take Freddie over to Brookfield, Elizabeth doesn’t sound keen, but eventually relents

(during their conversation, Lily was playing up a bit:

[Lily] “Does anybody care that I’m starving?

“Oh dear, I’ve just fainted. Nevermind …”)

And Lily doesn’t want to with Roy and Freddie to Brookfield. She reckon she’s had enough of Freddie’s company already …



Open Farm at Home Farm?

David pops over to Brian’s. He has the ulterior motive of trying to persuade Brian to take on Open Farm Sunday, instead of Brookfield.

After chatting about mice hiding in combines, the initial signals from Brian aren’t good. He thinks David is asking for his usual help at Brookfield for Open Farm Sunday – namely taking machinery over

[Brian] “So the great unwashed can see what a real combine is like”

And when David eventually asks him outright:

[Brian] “You’re must mo0re trusting than I am … you’re happy to have all and sundry clamouring around your farm, working out the best way to come back and pinch your diesel or nick a tractor”

David reassures that it isn’t all that bad.

Nobody steals anything (if they’re marshalled), it means cash in the pocket from folks signing up to buy meat (and such direct), it creates goodwill and educates, and there’s also good PR to be had.

Brian still seems unconvinced. Seemingly the venison virtually sells itself.

But, actually, the fishing lake numbers are down this year … so Brian is at least going to ask Adam …

Yup.

You heard it.

Brian has to ask Adam about a Home Farm decision.

He said himself it was going to take time to get used to – but how very odd that Adam is now taking over the reins, bit by bit.

The Archers Monday 16th May 2011: Kate drops a clanger

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• Kate hasn’t even done anything yet
• Elizabeth is also back to herself
• Roy is also cheerful
• Eddie’s not going to let it lie
• Oliver prefers letters to emails
• Now the birds leave Freddie!
• That was particularly evil. Even for Kate.

Kate hasn’t even done anything yet

But Hayley is already in a mood with her.

[Hayley] “Kate just winds her up, that’s the trouble … wish she’d just let her be sometimes … what state Phoebe will be in when Kate goes off again, I don’t know”

Then Kate calls to say that she’s going to collect Phoebe from school, and take her out for tea. She and Phoebe seemingly have something to talk about.

[Hayley] “She just wades in and hijacks her again and again”

Oh Hayley – the worse is still to come.


Elizabeth is also back to herself

Looks like all of the Jill/Phil side of the Archer clan are all bouncing back at the same time.

After David feeling a spring in his step yesterday, both Lewis and Haley reckon Elizabeth is also a bit more like herself.




Roy is also cheerful

It’s joy abound in Ambridge at the moment.

Roy is also feeling chipper, as he’s getting up in the morning to something new.

He and Hayley are also looking to getting their new car (which comes with Roy’s new job). Especially as Hayley had to “really yell” at her current “old banger”.


Eddie’s not going to let it lie

[Eddie] “It doesn’t seem fair”

Eddie’s on about Will again. Though Will doesn’t know it as yet, Nic isn’t going to have a baby with him.

Eddie reckons it’s really rough on Will. He looks after Jake and Mia as if they were his own, and he has to cope with his son only being “on loan” to him.


Oliver prefers letters to emails

Despite having the puppy show to organise, Oliver seems to be at a complete loss with himself at the moment.

Seems to be wandering about Ambridge, randomly banging into other residents, who then (randomly) ask his advice.

Today it’s Kenton. He wants advice on what present to get Jolene for not smoking for a whole month (ah … more like a couple of weeks, unbeknownst to Kenton).

Anyhoo, Oliver was chuffed that some of his puppy show invitations were answered by emails, not sounded not so chuffed that Caroline seems to be thriving with her new increased workload at Grey Gables.

He’s taking her away for a short break, to remind her that there’s a world beyond Grey Gables, but looks like he might have to continue wandering Ambridge on his own for a bit longer …



Now the birds leave Freddie!

I didn’t spot this until Roy found Freddie in the Falconry (as Roy was going to have a word with the very despondent Jessica).

But, Freddie is surely going to fall to pieces when they take the birds away from him. His dad, the horse, some of the cattle … not his birds.

Everyone leaves Freddie.

Freddie was telling Roy about how he and Nigel used to work a lot with the birds.

[Freddie] “It seems like they’ve always been here”

Oh dear.

Freddie could even reassure Roy that Hector (the bird) wasn’t really angry:

[Freddie] “it’s just his normal expression”

That was particularly evil. Even for Kate.

Kate’s at Roy and Hayley’s, after having dropped Phoebe back:

[Kate] “She’s just loads more confident since she came to stay with us over Easter …”

(meow!)

[Kate] “Oh, by the way, Phoebe was telling me how she’s like to come over to South Africa to live me with for a while. I said it was a great idea. We’ll talk it through when I have more time. I’ll see myself out. Thanks for the coffee. Bye”

What! What what what!!! I know Kate is an evil witch sometimes, but that was pure, cold, evil.

What a female dog she is!

[Hayley] “Can you believe her, because I can’t”

[Roy] “I’m afraid I can, yeah”

[Hayley] “She’s actually encouraged Phoebe in this fantasy … she shoots her mouth off without a second thought … I mean how irresponsible is that. I don’t want her to go and live in South Africa, Roy”

[Roy] “Look, Hayley, this is Kate, remember. She’s full of talk. She flits from one thing to the next. It’s never going to happen”

I don’t know why Roy reckons he’s not surprised by Kate’s behaviour, yet can so grossly underestimate her.

Hayley reckons that, even if Kate goes off the idea, Phoebe will still be impossible about it.

[Hayley] “Honestly, if she hasn’t gone when she did,. I don’t think I could have controlled myself”

We’d all have been there with you Hayley!

The Archers Thursday 12th May 2011: Clarrie’s birthday

click the title above, or the'read more' link below the bullet points, to read the full post on this eavesdropping episode

• Who will give Jessica and her birds a home?
• Nic’s not herself
• At least Will appreciates Nic (sometimes)
• Joe is haunting the mobile library
• Clarrie doesn’t approve of book clubs
• Regional Wine status
• No Ed and Emma

Who will give Jessica and her birds a home?

So Elizabeth has made her final decisions about the Falconry:

[Elizabeth] “We’re just not going to be able to offer her and the birds a home after summer”

Roy is concerned about what will happen to Jessica (though they are checking other stately homes), and reckons there will now be a gap. Seemingly a Falconry is well liked by visitors – giving an air if aristocracy, and a link with heritage.

(so why doesn’t it make more money?)

Couldn’t they try and make the Falconry make money, rather than just ditch it?



Nic’s not herself

It would seem that all Will’s talk of he and Nic having a baby has put her right on edge.

She seems to be frightened of Will arriving with flowers (which were actually for Clarrie).

Then was again very nervous when he brought out the champagne.

She must have thought Will was about to announce he wanted a baby – but it was all fine. It was ‘just’ for Clarrie’s birthday.

Then, while Eddie has a nap in the corner, Clarrie talks of babies. That she reckoned George looked like Will when he was born. And the day she Clarrie fell for Will – not long after he was born, when she saw him with his finger in his mouth.

Nic can’t take it.

She literally runs away from the room.


At least Will appreciates Nic (sometimes)

It’s an odd relationship, that Nic and Will.

He’s such a boorish, ignorant man at times. But she’s very good at calming him down, making sure he can’t always force what he wants through.

Will often takes Nic for granted, but was very grateful to her for making a cake for Clarrie. He actually said thanks.



Joe is haunting the mobile library

Which is a tad premature (!), but he’s ever so keen to make sure he doesn’t make a fool of himself at the next Book Club.

That involves actually reading the book. Which it would seem he is doing.

Wonders will never cease.


Clarrie doesn’t approve of book clubs

Clarrie is a tad dismissive of Susan’s efforts to read the book, and join the Book Clun:

[Clarrie] “Ain't so much keeping up with the reading, it’s keeping up with the Aldridges”

And also reckons “once a book is read, it’s done with” – so what’s the point in talking about it.

Years of drudgery mean Clarrie sometimes (just sometimes) doesn’t get anything beyond the kitchen sink.


Regional Wine status

So while parts of Lower Loxley aren’t faring so well, at least the wine is fine.

It’s got Regional Wine status again – and English wine week is approaching.

Make money out of the wine, give it to the birds.


No Ed and Emma

Very odd that Ed and Emma weren’t at Clarrie’s birthday party.

Even more odd that non-one seemed to notice. Or care.

The Archers Tuesday 10th May 2011: Ed put his foot down

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• Ed’s not having Will have his will be done
• Meriel is 10
• Bye bye blackbird
• Single Wicket!!!!
• Nic’s never bored working in The Bull
• Ed’s a coward
• Shula is in the ménage all afternoon
• Puppy Show
• Nic wears the trousers

Ed’s not having Will have his will be done

Ed’s a very unhappy chappy about George spending more time at Will and Nic’s.

As he tells Oliver:

[Ed] “It’s not good for him. He’s not spending enough time at home to get to know his baby sister properly”

Ed reckons he needs George at home, as he wants George and Keira to be a “proper” brother and sister. Oliver agrees that them spending time together is “essential”

[Ed] “Should I put my foot down?”

[Oliver] “You should do whatever’s right for your family”

So, off Ed trots, to sort it all out. For the family. Which doesn’t include what his brother may want. Who is family …



Meriel is 10

Wonder if we’ll ever met her or hear from her mum?

They both are surprise guests at Kenton and Jolene’s wedding? (if they ever do get married).


Bye bye blackbird

Well – bye bye hawks (and co.), to be absolutely correct.

Jessica from Lower Loxley’s Falconry needs Elizabeth to invest more in the Falconry to bring it up to scratch.

Elizabeth had been avoiding the Falconry, as she had a suspicion that it wasn’t paying for itself. As one of Nigel’s pet projects, she didn’t want to have to make a financial decision about it.

But there’s no avoiding it now that Jessica has spoken up.

Elizabeth goes through the books, and finds that yes – the Falconry is a money pit. Nigel has been shielding it.

So, despite Eleanor (Nigel’s favourite bird – a Harris Hawk), all the other birds and Jessica – Elizabeth has decided.

[Elizabeth] “the birds will have to go”

That’s a shame. I bet Jessica will wish she just made do, rather than asked for more money to refresh the falconry …


Single Wicket!!!!

Hurrah! Single Wicket time is back with us.

Shula’s putting up posters, and Nic reckons that Harry is “dying” to get signed up, so that he can defend his title.

(where oh where is Harry? He’s been quiet for so long, one does wonder if he and the currently also silent Jazzer have eloped).



Nic’s never bored working in The Bull

I quite like Nic, but one does have to wonder at her enjoying The Bull even when it’s deadly quiet.

I suppose anything is better than an evening in with Will. Especially when he wants to procreate.



Ed’s a coward

Ed putting his foot down, and sorting out matters on behalf of his family, is to go and be form with Nic, rather than Will.

What a wuss!

Of course, Nic is very understanding. She can see that Ed wants Keira and George to be close:

[Ed] “I think it’s best all round, don’t you?”

[Nic] “Actually. Yes. Yes, I do”

So after gaining Nic’s vote, Ed then asks Nic to tell Will.

She’s a tad reluctant, but agrees. Nic can be too nice for her own good sometimes.

We all know what can happen to the bearer of bad tidings.



Shula is in the menage all afternoon

That sounded like a wife-swapping session to me, but seemingly it’s something to do with horses.
Puppy Show

Oliver is organising the puppy show.

What puppy show?

I recall no puppy show from previous years.

Anyone else know what he’s on about?





Nic wears the trousers

On telling Will that Ed has said George had to spend more time at home:

[Will] “He said what? What right has he got to go marching into The Bull giving you orders …who does he think he is …”

[Nic] “Oh please don’t take it personally”

[Will] “Of course I’m going take it personally when it’s my life he’s interfering with”

[Nic] “He really didn’t come over as someone who wanted to interfere or stir things up”

[Will] "Don’t you know him by now … and why are you sticking up for him”

(at which Nic slightly loses her temper, and shouts at Will that she was only trying to pass on what Ed had said, and she agrees Ed should have done it himself)

[Nic] “I do think he had George’s interest at heart”

I agree that it’s important that George does have a home. I agree that he shouldn’t be passed around. And I agree that he needs stability.

But why does that have to all be with Ed and Emma? Surely he could have all of that by staying at Will and Nic’s?

Considering Emma is such a selfish wee madam, why not let George stay with his dad?

Anyhoo – Will does eventually agree that this is all in George’s best interest. But I think we can hardly expect it to end there.

I’ve said it before – where there’s a Will, there’s a way.