Pondering The Archers: elona makepeace

Darrell’s got a new job, but …

Darrell’s (nearly, possibly) got a new job, at a Church. It’ll use his specialist carpentry skills (and also obviously get him away from Matt!).

Darrell’s already celebrating with cans of lager. Even before he’s been told he definitely has it.

Later on, he’s told he has got it.

Darrell is over the moon. Though it doesn’t last long.

While Darrell wants to quit Amside now:

[Darrell] “I thought it might be sensible to diversify.”

Elona’s worried about the bills.

[Elona] “And there is Rosa’s scooter as well.”

That bloomin’ scooter!

If Darrell can stand up to Matt, why can’t he stand up to his own family?

When collusion isn’t collusion?

When Lilian is only lending a hand …

She’s off to help Peggy with her Flower and Produce Show craft entry. Matt claims they’re cheating.

[Lilian, snapping his head off … metaphorically. Obviously] “It’s not collusion Matt, mum just asked me to pick up some materials she needed!”

Oh dear.

Lilian really (really) isn’t happy with Matt at the moment.

Just imagine how delighted when she hears that Darrell is leaving … and why!

Vicky’s baby will be beautiful

Vicky has been finding solace online. She’s found a lot of other people who are going through, and have been through, everything she (and Mike) are experiencing. She’s wondering how on earth anyone coped before the internet:

[Brenda] “I guess they just had to write letters and telephone people.”

[Vicky] “Now you feel like you’re plugged in right away”

Vicky tells Brenda about a post another mum had written about how there was lots of information for a couple having a Down’s Syndrome baby, no one told them how beautiful their baby was going to be …

[Vicky] “You stop thinking so much of what’s wrong, and you start getting excited again.”

She and Brenda coo over photos online of children with Down’s Syndrome.

Which was delightful to hear.

Thank goodness for Brenda!

Lilian really hates Matt right now …

Adam stumbles across Lilian, who is trying to look incredibly busy in a café.

[Adam] “Been doing your Greta Garbo act were you?”

Lilian just wasn’t in the mood to make an effort for anyone else.

But Aunty Lil doesn’t need to make an effort when it comes to her beloved nephew Adam.

Shame can be said for her (allegedly) beloved Matt.

She really does have a downer on him at the moment. Odd, when there’s be so many better times (when he’s behaved even worse) to turn the cold shoulder.

Everyone wants Ian!

Not just Pavel, it would seem.

The rest of the men in and near Ambridge also want Ian for his taste in bread.

(only in Ambridge!)

Jaxx can do blast freezing

Tom has managed to persuade Kirsty and Frank (Jaxx’s chef, one assumes) to do their ready meals for a “bit extra” money.

Tom’s also well chuffed that they can cook it, then blast freeze it as well.

[Tom, pulling himself up without prompting for once] “Sorry Bren. I’m rattling on again.”

(I wonder … is Brenda excited about the baby because it’s a baby, and her new sister or brother. Or, is she ready for one of her own …)

Friday, 31 August 2012

Darrell ate the last of the bread: Fri 31.08.12

The Archers Friday 31st August 2012

Just fix the bloomin’ washing machine!
Matt sends Lilian out for cigars
Darrell’s caught between a washing machine and a Police record
Adam had a pasty
Lynda tries to recruit Elona
Vicky tells Lynda

Just fix the bloomin’ washing machine!

Elona is not a happy bunny with Darrell.

First, she’s suspicious of a cake.

[Elona] “What’s this? … this sponge cake?”

It’s from Joyce.

Then, Elona is suspicious of a sandwich.

[Elona] “What was in your sandwich?”

Only cheese. Which there is more of. But Darrell’s finished all of the bread.

Oh dear.

Seems Elona is upset because Mrs Gloria Hamilton died in the night. Mrs Hamilton hadn’t even been ill. Elona found her dead when she’d brought her morning tea.

[Elona] “She used to laugh big … hearty. And today, no more Gloria. No more laugh. I would have liked to say goodbye.”

So, death. No bread. A suspicious cake. And the washing machine is also broken.

To top that, Darrell’s off to speak to Matt rather than sort the bloomin’ washing machine.

Later on:

[Elona] “Darrell, you are a carpenter not a philosopher. All your walking around won’t get the washing machine fixed!”

Seems Anna needs some clothes for a weekend with her pals. Her weekend will be ruined if she can’t have them washed and ready.

[Elona] “I have two jobs, and I still manage to cook for you, clean this house, and do the washing when I have a washing machine that works!”

*sigh*

Elona is right.

But she’s putting Darrell into an impossible situation.

If only Darrell would tell her what’s happening.

Matt sends Lilian out for cigars

When Darrell comes round to see Matt, Matt makes sure that Lilian isn't around to hear what Darrell has to say.

[Matt] “Didn’t you say you need some fags? Can you get me some cigars while you’re at the shop?”

[Lilian, incredulous] “You want me, to get you, some cigars?”

Though Lilian is far from amused, she does Matt’s bidding.

Even more bizarre, Lilian also doesn’t blink when she’s charged £24.05 for 40 of her “usual”, and 10 of Matt’s slim cigars.

Ad a smoker myself, I always want to burst into tears when I buy my tobacco.

(I know. There’s allegedly an easy solution to that)

Darrell’s caught between a washing machine and a Police record

Darrell wanted to tell Matt that what he’s been asked to do is “not fair”. Not only did Matt make him try and force Joyce and Arthur out of their home, Matt then blamed Darrell for the problems at their house in front of Lilian.

Matt is entirely unrepentant,

[Matt] “If you’ve got a problem with the tasks I set you, you’re free to take your tools elsewhere.”

Darrell reckons he might just do that.

Then Matt reminds Darrell of his prison record.

Damn him!

Darrell’s basically a good chap so needs to grow a backbone. To both Matt, and Elona.

Adam had a pasty

Lilian bumps into Adam coming out of the village shop.

He’s clutching a pasty.

[Lilian] “Isn’t that a bit eh, whatever the opposite of haute cuisine is?”

[Adam] “I know, living with a chef is great, but sometimes I get a craving for food wrapped in cellophane tasting of cardboard.”

Adam tells Lilian that he’s coping with Brian, now that he’s back working at Home Farm. “Rubbing along” was the way he put it.

[Adam] “Well, he’ll never change will he Lilian … so it’s really down to me how I choose to deal with him.”

[Lilian] “Working with Matt, he always sails close to the wind, but sometimes he doesn’t know where the wind is … maybe I need to choose how I want to react.”

Ah – Lilian has her cigarettes – and she’s been inspired.

Mind the step, Matt.

Lynda tries to recruit Elona

To show during the Flower and produce show.

[Lynda] “It’s a wonderful way to deepen your involvement in village life.”

Hmmm.

Best stay clear for a few years, I reckon.

Vicky tells Lynda

During her shift in the village shop, Vicky bursts into tears.

She almost tells Lynda what’s the matter, but doesn’t.

However, she does tell Lynda, later on, when Lynda visits her after sending her home from the shop.

[Lynda] “You must be devastated.”

[Vicky] “I am. You always picture, when you think about having a baby in your head, it’s always perfect. I know I’m going to love it, but …”

[Lynda] “You’re going to have it then?”

[Vicky] “Oh yeah, I couldn’t so anything else, I couldn’t …”

[Lynda] “It’s very brave of you Vicky. And Mike, he feels the same way?”

[Vicky] “I don’t think he does. But I can’t do it without him. I love him so much, I have to have this baby …I’m just desperate for him to … he’s got to want it as well. He has to.”

Sunday, 15 July 2012

Sandwich fillings: Mon 09.07.12

The Archers Monday 9th July 2012

Seriously, sandwiches was as exciting as it got!
Jennifer approves of Phoebe’s new room
Sobbing in the Tucker household
Brian to evict the Swifts?
Brian on the fiddle?

Seriously, sandwiches was as exciting as it got!

[Elona] “The salami’s off, you’re having ham … you may not care what you’re having in your sandwiches, but I do.”

And there. Ladies and gentleman, was the highlight from today’s Ambridge.

Elona was making Darrell’s sandwiches, but Darrell was distracted by thoughts of Bernie (the bloke who’s selling him and Matt knock off kitchen furniture, and the like).

Makes it worse that Elona is very glad Matt is being “fair” with Darrell. Paying him formally. And being generous with a “bonus”. She’s delighted the bonus has meant Anna can get a keyboard. Later on, after Anna got her keyboard, she says she also now wants piano lessons.

All of which adds pressure onto Darrell. Who knows that Matt isn’t exactly on the level.

Jennifer approves of Phoebe’s new room

She thinks it’s very pretty and grown up.

Phew!

Hayley must be so relieved …

Sobbing in the Tucker household

Seems Abbie was sobbing all night about Phoebe not coming home.

And Vicky’s also upset. It’s put a right damper on her and Mike’s anniversary plans.

Though Phoebe sent Hayley something that sounded like a musical text with a message on it (couldn’t tell you exactly what, though) saying she loved her, Hayley wasn’t exactly cheered.

We left Ambridge this evening listening to Hayley playing the text back, laughing, then crying.

Brian to evict the swifts?

Brian’s been given first option on buying Valley Farm.

That’s the farm he wants to turn into accommodation for the Super Dairy workers. And the one which is currently home to some swifts.

[Brian] “Seems the owner got pestered by BAFF at a farmer’s market … that rabid Hattie person probably. Bet she unloved as a child …”

[Jennifer] “Oh Brian!”

[Brian] “Come on Jenny, they’re just attention seekers … they’ve started to believe their own publicity … that everyone agrees with them. There’s nothing worse than arrogance, is there?”

[Jennifer] “Well …”

[Brian] “The good thing is that it’s all starting to backfire … got right up his nose, suddenly he’s offering it at a very fair price.”

Ah – so Hattie has unwittingly helped Brian, and damned the swifts.

Funny Jennifer hasn’t mentioned them again. So was so adamant Brian couldn’t evict them.

Maybe she’s saving that as a round 2 argument.

Brian on the fiddle?

Possibly so.

Gerry has asked to see the contract between Home Farm and BL for the arable part of the Super Dairy.

Annabelle seems deeply concerned he’s looking into it. Brian doesn’t seem to give a hoot. He reckons Home Farm got the job after tendering.

[Brian] “I’m completely bomb proof on this one”

Hmm.

Odd that Brian never seems to listen to Annabelle. She’s more than often right.

Maybe the Super Dairy will still be scuppered, from the inside.

Thursday, 31 May 2012

Adam’s been thinking 30.05.12

The Archers Wednesday 20th May 2012

Elona hopes Lynda gets her 60 sponges
The Queen is deemed a good ‘un
A new supermarket!
Jim and Christine still estranged
Adam’s in a reflective mood
Lilian sorts the wages
Kenton and Jolene New Zealand bound?
Two years since Sid
Peggy still gets (junk) mail at Grey Gables
Kenton’s new cocktails
Jolene’s an ardent ex-smoker

Elona hopes Lynda gets her 60 sponges

[Lilian] “Or she’ll be a few sponges short of a jubilee!”

The Queen is deemed a good ‘un

[Elona] “She’s a marvellous woman”

[Lilian] “Well, she’s lived the good life”

[Peggy] “And worked very hard, Lilian!”

During the war:

[Peggy] “I was only a lowly stores orderly; while she got to drive a jeep … I could have fancied to learn to drive in a convoy”

A new supermarket!

And no one seems to give a hoot. Odd.

It’s on the site of the old mart, so I suppose it was a done deal. Lynda (and her like) must be too busy with Jubilees, Britain in Bloom, and a Super Dairy on the way …

Jim and Christine still estranged

[Peggy] “Oh, have you heard, Jim and Christine have fallen out. Did you know he was an anarchist and a republican?”

But I though Jim was a Royalist. Wasn’t he quite excited and supportive about Camilla’s visit?

Adam’s in a reflective mood

Not working, at home recuperating, Adam’s got time the time to ponder.

He’s been reading his dairies from when he was travelling through Senegal. Some of it’s quite poetic. Some of it isn’t.

[Ian, reading the diary aloud] “Stubbed my big toe on a fence post, swore like a docker”

[Adam] “It’s like I’m reading about someone else”

[Ian] “All very different from an English Country Garden”

(Adam sighed at that)

When Adam later went out for hack with Lilian, he told her he’d phoned his mate Vince, with whom who’d been in Kenya. Vince is just about to go to Malawi to do some charity work, helping to fit fuel efficient cooking stoves.

[Adam] “It’s made me nostalgic … for my younger self. I sometimes wonder if I shouldn’t have stayed”

[Lilian] “But then you would have met Ian. And he’s worth a thousand fuel efficient cooking stoves”

[Adam] “He’s the one bright spot at the moment … what do I do that makes any impact at all … I’m a cog in a corporate machine .. it’s not why I wanted to be a farmer”

[Lilian] “Everyone needs food, and you produce it … don’t sell yourself short”

When Lilian later has a wine with Ian, she tells him Adam is brooding. And needs taking out of himself.

Lilian sorts the wages

Lilian checked with Elona to see how Matt paid Darrell. It was cash. Again.

Lilian then later phones Elona to tell her it’s all sorted. She claims she took the “thumb screws” to Matt, and Darrell will be on formal wages by the end of the week.

Wonder if Matt knows?

Kenton and Jolene New Zealand bound?
Meriel has emailed Kenton a new photo:

[Kenton] “Suddenly she doesn’t look like a tiddler anymore”

(Meriel’s 11)

Kenton wants Jolene to meet Meriel – Jolene wants Kenton to meet little Sidney.

But, Jolene can’t see how they can afford to go.

[Jolene] “Let’s park it for now”

Ha! Knowing Kenton, he’ll buy the tickets and have Jolene off to New Zealand in a matter of weeks.

Two years since Sid

On the mention of Sid’s grandson Sidney:

[Jolene] “It’s almost two years now. I can hardly believe it”

Peggy still gets (junk) mail at Grey Gables

Must be a very long age such Peggy stopped working there.

Kenton’s new cocktails

Include a Presidential Pick Me Up and:

[Kenton] “Can I interest you in our republican cocktail or you the man for our royal flush?”

Ian declines. Wine is just fine.

Jolene’s an ardent ex-smoker

[Jolene] “I wish people wouldn’t stub their fags out in the tubs. Filthy habit”

[Lilian] “Time was, darling”

[Jolene] “One day you’ll see the light an all”

I very much doubt that. How can Fagash Lil by Fagash Lil without the fags?

Broken sensor lights and cash in hand 24.05.12

The Archers Thursday 24th May 2012

Elona’s a doormat
Lilian takes Darrell’s side, but wouldn’t marry him
Ben’s help build the silage clamp
Scary times at Brookfield

Elona’s cutting Tom’s hedge

After Darrell has already cut their lawn. He thinks Tom and Brenda are taking advantage.

[Elona] “No. They’re friends”

[Darrell] “Only sometimes can you try too hard, then you become a doormat”

[Elona] “There is a law in life Darrell. If you give out, you get back”

Actually – Tom and Brenda should be ashamed of themselves. Adam, mere weeks after being attacked, is getting on with his own garden.

Lilian takes Darrell’s side, but wouldn’t marry him

Darrell gives Elona £50 to put to the fund they’re saving for one of their daughters. Which means Matt gave Darrell cash in hand again. Elona isn’t happy about that, as Darrell knows.

[Darrell] “We should be grateful someone’s taken a chance on me … Elona, it’s the build trade, not the civil service”

[Elona] “I just don’t want you slipping back (to prison) … You accuse me of being a doormat, being eager to please, but you are just the same … stand up for yourself … I won’t accept this way of living. Go back to Matt and tell him to make you official. From next week … I’m not living in the shadows. Think about your girls”

[Darrell “This is going to be embarrassing”

[Elona] “That’s your choice, isn’t it. Embarrassment or shame”

Darrel chose embarrassment. He went to round to Matt's to ask to be paid on the books, just as Matt and Lilian are off out in the car.

Matt says he’ll get back to him.

[Lilian] “I wish you wouldn’t do that … where’s my lighter … tell people you’ll do things when you haven’t the slightest intention of doing them … we should think about it, you know. Darrell’s a damn good chippie. I’d be sorry if he walked away”

[Matt] “With his record, in this climate, are you kidding?”

Matt reckons he doesn’t want to complicate what’s an easy casual arrangement.

[Lilian] “It obviously took a lot for him to summon up the nerve to ask you”

[Matt] “Ah, that’s just his pushy wife, innit”

[Lilian] “She needs to be pushy. He’s very sweet, but not husband material”

[Matt] “How very old fashioned you are sometimes, pussycat”

[Lilian] “I can’t stand a wishy washy man, though considerate would be nice … If we upset Elona, we’ll have mum to answer to …You should pay for quality, Matt. Surely I’ve taught you that”

Matt tells Lilian to leave “the workforce” to him, but Lilian is far from done.

Ben’s help build the silage clamp

Well done Ben.

Scary times at Brookfield

David has to go to an NFU meeting tonight, which means Ruth’s home alone.

[Ruth] “Well I’ll just barricade myself in with the kids”

When David gets back (he needs to have his breaks check, by the way. They were very squeaky), it’s gone 10.30pm. Ruth’s in a flap, even though David texted.

David’s also a bit perturbed that the security lights didn’t come on when he drove back in. He goes to check. At first he thinks the glass is blown, but if it has, it’s more than one light that’s gone. They’re all shattered.

[David] “I reckon this is kids, Ruth. They’ve seen the kitchen is dark and taken their chance”

[Ruth] “This light’s just below Ben’s room … what if he’d been at the window … I want you to ring the Police”

[David] “I don’t think we should assume the worst”

[Ruth] “It’s a priority to me … we need to report it. Just do it. Please”

Lynda goes on a Bloomin’ rampage 15.05.12

The Archers Tuesday 15th May 2012

Poly tunnels excite Tom
The pig arks need moved … again!
Adam and Jennifer give Darrell their thumbs up
Prison or the mother of your victim?
Don’t worry about the farm
Lynda is doing odd things in the cemetery
Grubbed pasture
Harry didn’t get his shirt off
An elder statesman or stateswoman required
Lynda’s badly misbehaving
Elona’s definitely an honest ‘un

Poly tunnels excite Tom

[Tom] “It’s arrived!”

[Jazzer] “My delivery for the playboy mansion? … aye, I saw the grin on your face. Only you could look that excited about a ploy tunnel”

The pig arks need moved … again!

Really – anyone know if pig arks need moved every other week?

It seems to be the only thing Tom ever tells Jazzer to do.

Jazzer’s none too happy about having to do it today. Tom suspects he has a hangover, but Jazzer reckons it’s just because he’s been up early doing the mil round (surely he does that most days?).

Adam and Jennifer give Darrell their thumbs up

[Darrell] “Takes more than a whack over the head to see this one, eh!”

Adam is out having a slow wander with Jennifer, stopping to have a chat with his near neighbour Darrell.

Adam reckons he’s sweet, Jennifer that he seems like a good chap.

Wonder if Jennifer would still think that if she knew he had a record …

Prison or the mother of your victim?

I reckon most would choose prison every time. Especially when that mother happens to be Jennifer Aldridge.

The nasty blokes who attacked Adam are on remand. They’ll face a court trial fairly soon.

[Jennifer] “Well, when they get one, I hope they throw away the key!”

[Adam] “Perhaps we should set you on them mum, then they’ll get what they deserve”

Don’t worry about the farm

Is what Brian and Jennifer keep telling Adam – but they’re the ones who keep mentioning it,

Seems the bloke who’s been hired to help I settling in well. Two of the deer have had calves, and the herd’s ear tagging is going well.

Lynda is doing odd things in the cemetery

Really, is there anything Lynda could do that would surprise us?

She’s been gathering broken eggshells. The broken eggshells mean the peregrines’ eggs are hatching. Lynda’s trying to work out how many chicks they have from the shells.

Well, that’s reasonable enough, I’d say.

Grubbed pasture

[Tom] “Ed had his pasture grubbed up, he thought one of the pigs might have escaped”

But no, all of Tom’s pigs are present and correct.

What could be doing that then? The Ambridge Beast …?

Harry didn’t get his shirt off

What a horrid man he is! Sabrina’s been on heat for months and months … all for nothing.

[Jazzer] “Did I tell ye, about Harry and Sabrina Thwaite? He did his lady Chatterley act for her … on her flower beds, for the promises auction, made sure his husband was away … not that she got her money’s worth, he kept his shirt on, mair fool him”

Poor Sabrina.

Though a good day for her husband Richard, I’d say.

(and again, why isn’t Harry speaking at the moment? Not like him to leave Jazzer to tell his business)

An elder statesman or stateswoman required

To cut the giant cake at the Jubilee.

Apply to Lynda Snell.

Lynda’s badly misbehaving

Lynda had earlier tried to corner Adam, but he and Jennifer had pleaded that he was tired and needed rest.

So, Lynda later went round his house. She didn’t take the hint, then.

He tells her again that he’s tired. But she’s not listening.

[Lynda] “Have you any plans for your front garden? … do you think you might spruce up? … It needn’t be too taxing. And gardening can be wonderfully therapeutic”

We didn’t get to hear Adam’s reply …

Next, we can hear Lynda and Tom having a rather loud and terse discussion, while we’re actually over at Elona and Darrell’s eavesdropping on their conversation.

[Lynda] “You see, I’m only referring to the parts of your garden that face the Green”

Lynda points out that The Bull and the Village shop will be perfect. Tom points out that they’re businesses. She then points out that Christine and Jim will also be perfect. Tom points out that they’re retired. He and Brenda work, and work all hours.

(well, Tom does. I’m sure Brenda could spare a few hours after she’s done making Matt and Lilian’s coffee)

[Lynda] “Even Adam’s agreed. Yes Tom. Even Adam. And I’m sure you wouldn’t want to be the one to spoilt it”

Tom tries to use Tony’s heart attack as an excuse (actually, it’s a fair one. Tom has to work extra to allow Tony to ease himself back into work gently).

[Lynda] “Maybe you should think of it as time to relax!”

Relax? Tom reckons he barely has time to breathe.

They’ve hit an impasse – until Darrell and Elona pop over. I thought they were about to complain about the noise, but they’re over to offer to do Tom and Brenda’s garden for them. Seems Elona has green fingers (but she also has at least 2 jobs … the busier helping the busy, it would seem).

[Lynda] “That’s what Britain in Bloom ought to be about, people pulling together to help one another, even when they’re still relatively new to the community. Upstanding citizens”

That’s the third resident to give Darrell and Elona their okay today. This must be heading to a great reveal of Darrell’s past.

Elona’s definitely an honest ‘un

Darrell’s chuffed that Matt is going to give him some regular work, 2 or 3 days a week at least.

Elona’s not so chuffed. Though they need the work, she’s not happy that Matt only pays Darrell cash in hand. She wants Darrell to talk to Matt about it, to make it a proper arrangement.

[Darrell] “I can’t. It’s none of my business”