Pondering The Archers: fat paul

Fallon’s first night at Jaxx

She’s got themed cocktails. She’s got themed music. (Halloween, of course). She’s got most of Ambridge in for her first night.

(Actually, could this hurt The Bull’s profits? That’d be a tad ironic)

The cost of dentures today

Is not making Joe a happy chappy.

It’s a year since Ivy died

[Emma] “Everything’s gone wrong since then.”

That’s strange.

Emma never struck me as very close to her granny.

Joe’s not a fan of trick or treat

[Joe] “That, eh, treat or trickin, it’s demanding sweets by menaces.”

I quite agree, Joe.

We used to go guising. With a turnip (not a pumpkin – you have to work a turnip for days to get it hollowed out). And with a practised party piece (not just a naff joke, or an outright demand for sweets).

Back in Joe’s day, it was also a bit more gothic.

He used to be scared to look in the mirror at Halloween in case he saw a ghost.

Ed and Emma in, with the lights off

They can’t afford sweets to give to the kids.

Though Joe thinks the lights are off for a decent reason:

[Joe] “Some things are still free, eh.”

[Ed] “You got a long memory granddad!”

Cheeky of Joe.

And a bit disturbing, considering Ed’s his grandson.

Emma and George get stranded

As Emma’s driving George home, smoke starts coming out of the car.

She has to pull over, and get George up the bank. They’re on a rather busy bypass.

Eddie came to save them, but Emma’s fuming with Ed.

She blames him for not getting the car fixed. And that’s it too old anyhoo.

[Emma] “Me and George could have died on the dual carriageway.”

(could’ve - didn’t … not need for drama)

[Ed] “You don’t half mollycoddle him you know!”

(eh?)

So the car’s knackered. They’d just put £20 of petrol in hit. And they need a new car.

Which they don’t have the ready money for, so Ed suggests a loan.

[Emma] “No more debt, we’re drowning in it.”

[Ed] “If you were better at managing …”

[Emma] “Don’t you dare out this on me.”

[Ed] “It was you who spent all the money we put aside for the water bill.”

[Emma] “You expect me to leave money in a drawer when we’ve run out of food?”

Emma reckons she’s proud she’s just about managing to cope. Ed’s angry at himself for not providing.

Such anger.

Oh. So. Grim.

Fat Paul had cardboard AND a pen!

Well done Fat Paul.

It meant that when Eddie went to his to get to tow sorted for Emma, they were proper and legal driving back.

Folks were poorer back in the day

According to Joe.

[Joe] “People ain't poor like the old days, though.”

[Eddie] “Maybe, but they’ve got bigger debts.”

Friday, 18 March 2011

The Archers Tues 15th March 2011: Eddie’s 60th birthday

A treat after milking
Emma’s toys are out of the pram
Punctures, Chinese lanterns and other strange objects
Lynda’s fallen for Joe
A grand day out
“It’s just one thing after another”
Elizabeth does want to live, after all

A treat after milking

Eddie maybe a cheeky chappy at times, and doesn’t quite seem to realise how much of a drudge Saint Clarrie’s is (often because of himself and Joe), but he is a man who knows how to enjoy the simple pleasures of life.

He’s absolutely made up that Clarrie has made him bacon – and even more overjoyed that she’s also made him tomatoes AND mushrooms.

He even doesn’t grumble about having to do the milking first thing, even though it’s his 60th birthday.

And – Eddie makes all the right noises over Clarrie giving him a new tie for his birthday.

[Eddie] “Felpersham races, a picnic and a hundred quid just for betting with … today just gets better and better”

What a mighty good man.

Emma’s toys are out of the pram

Emma doesn’t go with the rest on Eddie’s birthday treat.

Clarrie doesn’t seem too fussed, but is starting to feel a teeny bit of guilt over giving her the cold shoulder at times.

[Clarrie] “I think she’s still a bit fed up with me. I’ll send her some party food back with Edward”

Punctures, Chinese lanterns and other strange objects

David’s not having a good day.

His trailer has a puncture, and he’s found a foreign object in one of the hedges which one of the cows has had a nibble on.

[David] “Stupid Chinese lantern … people have no idea”

A very calm and understanding Ruth gets David to talk about what’s really annoying him (actually – I think he already did have real reason to complain).

The real reason David is so on edge is because he’s worried about Elizabeth not making the tight decision about whether to get her pace-maker thingy fitted.

[David] “I just don’t get all this hesitation … It’s a no brainer, surely … she’ll have this procedure and she’ll never have another episode like the one on Friday ever again … why is she hesitating?”

[Ruth] “It’s a big thing for her … to get her head round. She’ll have this strange object inside her body … something that’s not part of her that she has no control over”

David reckons Elizabeth should only think of how this device is going to help her – and he was downright dismissive of Ruth touching on the fact that she knows exactly how Elizabeth feels.

[David] “(I want her to) see sense and go ahead”

Lynda’s fallen for Joe

That’s not like our Lyndee!

Joe’s managed to wangle an invite round to Sunday lunch at the Snell’s for himself and Eddie (so that they can avoid Clarrie’s meagre offering of bread and cheese, because of lent).

I’m surprised at Lynda being so easy to persuade.

Wonder if we’ll get to eavesdrop on that dinner conversation … the mind boggles!

A grand day out

And it just get better and better for Eddie – his birthday is turning out to be the gift that just keeps giving!

[Eddie] “That whisky fruitcake was a proper treat, that’ll brighten up me lunch boxes for the rest of the week”

Lilian brought champagne. Joe got a new cap. Clarrie chooses horses by colour (black and gold stripes), but doesn’t really want to have too much of a flutter:

[Clarrie] “It’s a bit too exciting when you put you hard earned cash on the line”

Eddie started off the day excited to have £100 just to bet with, but after losing £60, and dumping Lenny as his “tipster”.

But Fat Paul’s advice isn’t any better. Despite all their talk of being experts, Fat Paul, Lenny and Eddie haven’t had a winner between them all day.

Until the last race.

Eddie had sent Clarrie to put his money on a horse, but she went and choose the wrong one.

After the one Eddie thought he’d bet on fell over (but it’s okay – the horse was just fine …), Mine’s a Pint romped it home 20-1, giving Eddie a grand winning of £200.

Nice.

Think he’ll spend any of that on Clarrie?

I wouldn’t bet on it.

“It’s just one thing after another”

Johne’s disease is confirmed at Brookfield.

(nasty – here’s more info http://www.johnes.org/history/index.html)

Seemingly, the cow confirmed to have it could have had it for a while without showing any signs, and is likely to have had it since a calf. They pick it up from contaminated dung, straw or water

[David] “So that’s her down the road I suppose”

As well as slaughtering that cow, they’ll also now have to collect a dung sample off of every other cow.

Bollocks!

This really isn’t a good year for that side of the Archer clan.

Elizabeth does want to live, after all

And wasn’t David overjoyed to hear it!

After talking to the doctors and nurses, Elizabeth has decided to go ahead to have the operation.

[Elizabeth] “The nurse said to think of it like having my own little guardian angel on my shoulder”

[David] “Or your own hidden jump leads …”

[Elizabeth] “I decided nothing could be worse than putting mum and the children through that again”

Hmmm. Bit suspicious that Elizabeth sees herself doing this for the sake of others rather than herself, but I suppose the end result is still the same.

Friday, 18 June 2010

16th June 2010

Caroline’s kept awake all night by bikers, but turns it to her advantage … Bikers had a ‘barney’ … Brian wins round 1 with Matt

Bales to separate a fight?!?
Who’d expect Caroline to be so canny?
Why fruit pickers can’t have relationships
“Alright matt – struck any good deals lately?”

Bales to separate a fight?!?

Hmmm. Not sure that’d work all that well. Surely they’d just set fire to it and hurl bit at each other?

Anyway, Eddie and Joe may be taking their money-spinning too far.

Rival bikers, in one field, with temporary membership of the cider club was only ever going to end one way.

That’s a massive stereotype, but the proof was definitely in the fighting!

So Caroline and Oliver were kept awake all night when the ‘Borchester Burners’ met their rivals, and Eddie’s can’t understand where they’re all coming from considering Fat Paul only has 8 Facebook friends.

*snort*

Who’d expect Caroline to be so canny?

Much to Eddie’s detriment, Caroline pulls a blinder and steals some of his customers away to Grey Cables.

Easy to forget that she’s not as drab as she might seem.

Why fruit pickers can’t have relationships

Because they fall for each other, then leave the job.

And, because Brian Aldridge has said so.

“Alright matt – struck any good deals lately?”

Oo-er Brian. That’s fighting talk, that is.

“could be quite interesting with Matt on the loose again”

Indeed. But aren’t you forgetting that Matt also has Lilian well and truly revved up for action?

That’s not a lady I’d like to mess with.

And is it just me, or is Matt warming Lilian up for a suggestion that Brenda should be working with them?