The Archers Wednesday 21st March 2012
- Vicky Vs Eddie
- Helen visits Sharon
- Helen’s inconsolable
Vicky Vs Eddie
Most definitely results in a 1-0 home result for Vicky.
He’s “squeezed” Vicky in between jobs, to do her water feature (as promised under the promise auction).
But, as we all know, Vicky (and Mike) feel Eddie pulled a fast one:
[Vicky] “When I joined the bidding at the promise auction I never imagined we’d be scammed!”
Eddie claims it was clear as day that he was offering just to fit a water feature, not to buy and fit one.
[Vicky] “But that’s what you made it look like!”
[Eddie] “Always read the small print … terms and conditions apply”
And moving swiftly on …
[Eddie] “Any chance of a cuppa before I start?”
[Vicky, quite angry] “You’ve got a nerve!”
[Eddie] “And a biccy if you’ve got one”
Ah – but Eddie isn’t chuckling at Vicky’s expense for very long.
Vicky’s decided to change her mind about where she wants her water feature. She now wants it further away from the house. Which, as Eddie is quick to notice, is “miles away from the electric supply”.
[Eddie] “It’ll take me hours to just dig the trench for the cables!”
[Vicky] “Oh dear. Well, perhaps you’d better forget that cup of tea then and get cracking!”
Once Eddie has finished, and the “grand switch on” went off without a hitch, Vicky has a final sting to make.
[Vicky] “It’s lovely. And it’ll look even lovelier when you lay those slate chippings”
Eddie is not pleased, but hasn’t got much choi8ce,. Vicky said it had something to do with Abby being safe around the new water feature.
Ah – that Vicky’s a wild yin!
Helen visits Sharon
They got off to a good start.
At least Sharon opened the door to Helen (though she only half-heartedly offer her a cup of tea or coffee, and didn’t even ask her to sit down).
Helen explains the rough year Bridge Farm has been through. And that Tony has had a heart attack.
[Sharon] “Yeah, I was sorry to hear about that … I wouldn’t wish that on anybody”
Helen talks about Ton having out his own feelings to one side to be able to support Pat, and that just when they thought things were turning for the better, he collapsed.
Sharon doesn’t see what it has to do with her.
[Helen] “They’ve been left with so many regrets”
[Sharon] “I can’t help with any of that”
[Helen] “You can”
[Sharon] “I can’t. How your mum and dad feel is up to them. It’s always up to them”
Helen tells Sharon that Pat and Tony deeply regret what happened in the past, that they want things to be different and that they want to get to know Rich, and he them.
[Sharon] “Kylie said you’d want to talk about Rich and I knew this is what you’d ask”
Sharon still doesn’t want to upset Rich. He’s doing grand at school, is settled, loves his dad. She doesn’t want his live changed.
[Helen] “Just to let him know there are other people that love and care for him too, and who he can turn to if he ever needed us … my dad my die without ever seeing Rich again”
[Sharon] “I’m sorry, but I can’t help that”
[Helen] “The thing is, you can. If you let bygones be bygones, if you could just bring yourself to forgive mum and dad and let it go”
[Sharon] “Let it go!”
[Helen] “Oh that sounded crass … I lost someone I felt very deeply for too … but those feelings of hate and blame gnaw away at you too, if you don’t forgive …”
[Sharon] “That’s enough! Oh, you’re your mother’s daughter alright. If you think you can come into my house and start patronising me … I think you better leave”
[Helen] “I’m really sorry if I've offended you ... if you can’t do this for mum and dad's sake, do it for John's. ... I know you loved John, you called your son after him”
[Sharon, almost whispering] “Oh John ... I did love him”
[Helen] “I know, you loved him just as much as you did”
But Sharon is now beyond upset, and asks Helen to go. Which she does.
Helen’s inconsolable
Helen really does take things hard.
When she gets home, and goes to see Tom (after settling Henry), she’s already sobbing.
[Helen] “It was a disaster … I tried everything I could think of … tried to connect with her … I felt like I antagonised her from the off”
[Tom] “None of that had any affect?”
[Helen] “It was like she’d put on protective armour, and she wasn’t going to let anything get through that might touch her”
(Helen is now sobbing even harder)
[Tom] “At least you tried, eh, and it took a lot of guts”
[Helen] “No. No it’s much worse than you think”
[Tom] “It’s not your fault that she’s so hard faced and unforgiving”
[Helen] “It was awful, I brought John into it. I was desperate … she wasn’t angry at all, just so hurt, so wounded. I didn’t want to cause her any pain … that was my one chance, our one chance, and she won’t let any of us anywhere near her family again … I've failed them when it really, really mattered”
[Tom] “You mustn’t worry about mum and dad. They don’t know about this and we won’t tell them … I’m so proud of you, and you couldn’t have done anything more”
You know – for once I’m going to actually give Tom credit.
He may be an a*se 99.9% of the time, but he does look after his rather emotionally fragile sister.
- Fallon’s starting to worry me
- Lynda’s not good on step ladders
- Pat’s panicking
- Lynda doesn’t seem impressed with Nic’s hen do
- When Tony and Pat met Rich …
Fallon’s starting to worry me
She really doesn’t seem to have any life beyond working at The Bull. So much so that she’s willing to give all time possible to helping Lynda with Christmas around the World.
[Fallon] “It’s nice to get away for a bit. Manic Christmas parties all the time”
What about a night out? Go round a mate’s? Band practice?
At least she does have Nic’s hen night to look forward to.
Lynda’s not good on step ladders
Lucky she has Fallon.
Today, they’re digging out staging from under the stage and hanging it ahead of rehearsals.. Lynda particularly wants stage flats to mock up marble columns.
[Lynda] “It will give a whole thing a touch of grandeur, perfect for Jim’s recitation”
Seems Ian has the food well in hand.
[Lynda] “He says I should think of the food courses as performers, writing their cues and their exits”
Fallon even now offers to help Lynda with the favours for the performers. As well as doing the staging and serving the food.
Too much time weighs heavily on a young lady …
Pat’s panicking
In case she and Tony have got the wrong owl.
She also wants to stay put until Sharon, Eamon and Rich arrive. But that’s an hour away.
Tony manages to drag her round the market stalls. He finds some “little glass angels” for the tree, which he reckons Henry will adore.
[Tony] “Henry’s first Christmas make it a good one, though Henry won’t remember”
Seems like Pat also has a bad memory.
She already has one grandson …
Lynda doesn’t seem impressed with Nic’s hen do
Fallon's telling Lynda about Nic’s do, and that it’ll involve a pink stretch limo with a bar, music:
[Fallon] “Plus a poncy driver”
[Lynda] “Oh, how delightfully vulgar”
[Fallon] “Yeah! … Poor girl’s about to marry a gamekeeper. She deserves a bit of glitz. It will be all mud and feathers from now on”
(even though Nic already lives with Will, so mud and feather feature heavily in her life. But point taken)
When Tony and Pat met Rich …
2.30pm.
Sharon, Eamon and Rich arrive at the golden owl.
(tony did have the right one)
[Tony, trying to act surprised] “Hello. Hello Sharon”
[Sharon] “Pat and Tony Archer. I don’t believe it”
Tony does then direct a few questions at Rich. Rich seemed like a nice lad who was happy to natter. He’s an overview of what john’s son said:
[Rich] “Hi – yeah, she’s loads older than me – Lancaster, she likes it there – yeah, I go to training, some of have been in the county trials – thanks, it was great – bowler – any sport really, and science, biology mainly, quite like to be a wildlife conservationist – can we get on now – good, I’m starving”
Eamon takes Rich off to get some food.
[Sharon] “There, You’ve seen him. Are you happy now?”
[Pat] “He’s a lovely boy”
[Sharon] “You don’t have to sound so surprised!”
[Pat] “We’re not. He’s a credit to you”
[Sharon] “Me and Eamon”
[Pat] “Oh Sharon, thank you”
[Sharon] “I don’t want thanking. It’s done now anyway”
[Pat] “I don’t suppose there’s any chance …”
[Sharon] “Don’t play games with me Pat, you agreed with Eamon, one meeting only …”
Which Tony quickly concurs with to shush Pat and not annoy Sharon any further.
Pat asks Sharon if Rich took Eamon’s last name – which he did – Phillips.
And Sharon drops a bombshell.
Rich is just his nickname.
His real name is … John.
- What to do with Bartleby’s trap?
- Hen and Stag nights
- It’s all Sharon’s fault, really
- Roy misses Phoebe
What to do with Bartleby’s trap?
Fallon’s had an idea. Though Nic can’t use Bartley’s trap before the wedding (she’s will be getting ready at Grey Gables so will be there already), Fallon reckons Roy and Will could use it to arrive.
Seems it’s a canopied trap, bright orange, made out of an old tent.
No-one wants to upset Joe. As Fallon says, he’s such a softy:
[Will] “Yeah, under all the smoke and grumpiness”
But, it’s not practical for Nic, and it also sounds like the trap isn’t exactly a work of beauty:
[Will] “It’s dead nice of him but, yeah, it glows so much you can see it from space!”
Will also isn’t convinced about him and Roy using it.
[Will] “No one cares what me and Roy look like when we get to the wedding”
But, Nic later comes up trumps. They’re going to use Bartley and his special trap as a “lap of honour” round the village Green after they’ve been married.
Aw.
Bartleby will be pleased.
Hen and Stag nights
Fallon and Nic are planning the hen night, so Roy and Will have to go to the pub.
[Roy] “Fantastic, first no one cares what I look like and then I can’t sit down!”
Will mentions that if the girls aren’t going for a nurse theme, air hostess would do just as well …
The hen night seems to be sorted, apart from one small problem … Emma.
Nic doesn’t want Emma there, Emma won’t want to be there, but Emma will see it as a snub if she isn’t at least invited, and will hold a grudge.
Fallon to the rescue!
She called Emma. Told her about the hen night and that Nic wanted her to come. But also said that they knew it was late notice (it’s next Thursday), so would understand if she couldn’t get Ed to babysit. And right enough – Emma said she’d love to come, but that Ed was out that evening so she couldn’t go out.
[Fallon] “There you go, family honour satisfied and everyone gets what they want”
Roy’s organised for Harry, Tom, Pete, Chris, and Jono (who is a probable until his “missus gets out of her wrestling class” – some sort of new fitness routine thingy) to go to a comedy club, then onto Felpersham tandoori.
But they don’t seem to worry about not inviting Ed.
Quite right too, considering what he did at Will’s last finance’s hen night …
It’s all Sharon’s fault, really
Pat and Tony have decided not to tell Helen and Tom that Pat called Sharon, that Rich is definitely John’s son, but that Sharon won’t let them be involved with him.
Not so sure they shouldn’t tell all. Surely it’ll come out sooner or later, with Tom and Helen furious (suicidal, in Helen’s case) that they weren’t told?
Anyhoo. Now that the dust has settled since Pat spoke to Sharon, Pat’s moved on from entirely blaming herself to blaming Sharon.
[Pat] “]It’s the way Sharon … ever since I spoke to her I keep thinking about when she came here … obviously now I wish we hadn’t been so short with her … but for her to make out that it was all so one sided … always the same … she simply took advantage from the word go …”
They’re still angry about the way Sharon played cat and mouse with John (starting when he was but a lad of 14).
[Pat] “She was so cynical about it … so clever at it, time after time … when things weren’t working out, back she’d come”
Pat and Tony think they were just trying to protect John from being heartbroken time and time again, but also realise that he didn’t want protecting.
[Tony] “He thought it was a great lark living on the Green with her …Whatever we think of Sharon, we’re only torturing ourselves”
[Pat] “What really bothers me, I mean you should have heard her Tony, talking about coming here after we’d lost John, like she was the victim in a Victorian melodrama, the innocent Maiden turned away by the heartless gentry … no awareness, none at all, that she might have been at fault …
“what I can’t get out of my mind though … I think John and Hayley would have stayed together if it hadn’t been for her, there wouldn’t have been that terrible upset in his mind, he’d have been more careful, might still be with us Tony, he might not have died … and yet she can still stop us, the one thing that could help, seeing Rich
“It’s as raw as if we’d lost him yesterday. But you're absolutely right. It can’t be helped. So we’ve got to move on. Somehow”
But – they’re going round in circles, with little chance of making Sharon change her mind about them seeing Rich. So:
[Tony] “We have to try and jog on as normal for their sake”
Which means going out for an anniversary meal tomorrow (at The Bull), so that Tom and Helen think all’s well.
Roy misses Phoebe
I’d completely forgotten about her!
Roy is especially missing Phoebe in the run up to Christmas. It’s too quiet at home.
[Roy] “I mean Abby’s great … but you want your whole family there”
Abby is just about old enough to now get Christmas – but Roy wants both his girls there.
Bout time for a Skype.
- Josh likes cleaning
- Little Drummer Boy is “seriously weird”
- Now Henry looks like someone else …
- Pat finds out about John’s son
Josh likes cleaning
But only the dairy.
[Josh] “This is proper work. And you get paid for it … well sort of paid, I get an allowance”
He reckons he needs proper wages at Christmas time.
Josh seems to gate school, as he wants to be doing more about farming. Like Pip.
She recently did a project about Brookfield’s Herefords which her tutor, Tim Wainwright, reckoned was a good, efficient model. But Josh just gets stuff like poetry.
[Josh] “But it’s so boring. Why can’t poets just say what they mean?”
As David said, don’t let Bert hear you say that!
I’ve said it before, but there will be more to Brookfield’s future than just Pip. Time for David and Ruth to be working out inheritance.
Little Drummer Boy is “seriously weird”
According to Josh. Eddie always listen to music when milking, and
[Eddie] “The girls like a few carols this time of year”
Josh doesn’t concur.
And David doesn’t seem to think it does much goo neither. The girls still aren’t producing enough.
Now Henry looks like someone else …
Pat really is on one.
She’s looking after Henry while Helen has a night out with Kirsty (here’s hoping Kirsty doesn’t give Helen’s number out to another bad ‘un like Leon).
Tony is trying to get pat to agree for them to also have a night out, but she’s too busy watching Henry’s expressions.
First, she thinks Henry looks like Tom when he’s concentrating.
[Tony] “His hair still amazes me. None of ours had a flop like that at his age. Sometimes I wish … be interesting to see what his father looks like, you know, to put all the piece together … you can’t help wondering”
But he wouldn’t, of course, ever say that to Helen.
And when Henry falls over, pat thinks he’s the spit of someone else.
But she doesn’t say (before the hidden microphones are moved on elsewhere).
Oh dear. Wonder who Pat is going to pin Henry on?
Pat finds out about John’s son
Despite Tony saying just the other day that they shouldn’t call Sharon. And despite knowing how badly this affecting Helen, and worrying Tom, Pat calls Sharon.
[Sharon] “What do you want?”
[Pat] “I’ve seen a photo of Kylie’s brother”
[Sharon] “Oh”
[Pat] “He looks so like … he’s John’s son, isn’t he?”
[Sharon] “I’ve been half expecting you to call since Kylie went to the funeral”
[Pat] “Please, is he?”
[Sharon] “Biologically yes …”
[Pat] “The moment I saw him I knew!”
[Sharon] “… in every other way, no. Eamon’s his father”
[Pat] “But he’s John’s son!”
[Sharon] “Eamon’s been there for him since he was a baby. He’s brought him up as his own. Rich calls him dad. He loves Eamon’s parents. He’s a very happy, sorted out young man and I’m not going to let you or anyone else change that”
[Pat] “I don’t want to”
[Sharon] “No? Then why you calling?”
[Pat] “Does he know about John?”
[Sharon] “He knows his birth father died before he was born. And he knows that Eamon is the only father he needs. He’s perfectly happy with that … “
[Pat] “And he’s never asked?”
[Sharon] “No. Is that all you wanted?”
[Pat] “Why didn’t you ever tell us?”
[Sharon] “Why do you think?”
[Pat] “I know things were difficult between us …”
[Sharon] “Difficult!”
[Pat] “Because John was so young when you got together. You seemed to have so much power over him”
[Sharon] “He knew his own mind”
[Pat] “There’s no sense in going back over it”
[Sharon] “No, there isn’t, so if that’s all …”
[Pat] “But when John died, why didn’t you tell us you were carrying his child?”
[Sharon] “Because you and your husband always treated me like dirt. You did everything you could to split me and John up. And it worked”
[Pat] “We felt you were driving a wedge between us”
[Sharon] “And then I heard he’d been killed. And you didn’t even have the decent to tell me … you knew what we’d meant to each other … I didn’t want to have anything to do with you after that”
[Pat] “We were going through hell!”
[Sharon] “And I wasn’t? I wasn’t going to tell you or anyone in Ambridge about him … “
But there’s worse to come. Sharon tells Pat that even when she was angry with them, a “little voice” kept nagging at her that she should tell them she was pregnant by John. She also wanted to say her goodbyes to John, and see his grave. So, she want to Ambridge to do so, and to see if John dying had change Pat and Tony:
[Sharon] “Made you kinder. Someone who’d treat me and my child with decency …”
She was terrified in going back to Bridge Farm, but made herself do so:
[Sharon] “You looked disgusted as soon as I went into the shed … ‘why’ve you come here?’, you spat at me … all your husband said was we don’t want any trouble … one word of kindness then, that’s all I wanted … ‘I’ve nothing to say to you, Sharon’, I’ve remembered that all these years … you didn’t want to hear”
So, because Pat told Sharon to go away:
[Sharon] “You decided for me. You didn’t deserve to know that I was carrying your grandson … you made your choice back then. You didn’t want us to be part of your family and we’re not”
Sharon tells a distraught Pat to never get in touch with them again.
So – if Pat had treated Sharon as someone else who had lost John, Sharon would have told her everything.
But, because Pat treated Sharon so badly, she didn’t get to know then, and she’s not welcome to be part of John’s son’s life now.
Ouch.
Hate to say it, but Tom (and Helen, Tony and Kathy) was right. Pat should have left well alone.
But – in her shoes – would any of us have left it without knowing?
- Elona’s moving into No. 3
- All’s well with the Mart
- Harry is off to Poland
- Knickers in John’s bed
- Tony still isn’t being nice
- Kylie calls
- Jennifer’s dysfunctional family
- Falls to Lilian
Elona’s moving into No. 3
Let’s see if she does turn out to be a good ‘un …
But I am still hoping her teenage daughters play loud music to keep Tom up at night …
All’s well with the Mart
I was very worried about those electrics (!)
Harry is off to Poland
To see Zofia.
Not that we hear it from the man himself. It’s Susan, back gossiping (but obviously still very sad) at the village shop.
Knickers in John’s bed
Susan mentions Kylie and Sharon to Lilian, who takes a while to remember them. Then:
[Lilian] “Oh Sharon! The one who left her knickers in John’s bed … family legend!”
Tony still isn’t being nice
Jennifer bumps into Tony, and gives him a brace of pheasants (which she’d been intending to take to him anyway at Bridge Farm).
But, he’s not very forthcoming with gratitude. In fact, he’s downright rude to her.
Very similar to the way Helen behaved to him in the exact same spot (outside the village shop) before Henry was born.
Must run in that part of the family – not being able to forgive and forget.
To rub salt into the wounds:
[Tony]”I expect you’ve seen Tom’s pig video on the internet, it’s been a huge success, getting thousands of hits … it all shows what you can do, how much you can achieve when the family works together to help each other out”
Tony! That’s shocking behaviour!
As if any of what you said was true – and it was hurtful enough to send Jennifer off very upset.
Enough already. You should have known not to expect much of Jennifer anyway when it comes to money – and she is your sister.
Kylie calls
She sounds alright.
Kylie was calling Susan to sort out her coming down for the funeral. As Kylie is coming down from Lancaster, she’ll need to stay overnight.
She was going to ask her granddad, but wasn’t sure if there would be room – and, of course, Susan offers her a room at hers.
Which is all fine and good.
So – nature or nurture?
Will Kylie be a good ‘un for real?
Jennifer’s dysfunctional family
That exchange with Tony has really hurt Jennifer.
She’s worried about her family not pulling together (as Tony claims his does).
Brian is rowing with Adam (well, Brian reckons it’s a “frank exchange of views”). Adam and Debbie are also rowing. And, Debbie is coming over this Friday but isn’t staying. Jennifer would have preferred her overnight so that they could have a family meal.
She brings up to Brian what Tony said:
[Jennifer] “How they’ve united in the face of adversity, while we’re all at each other’s throats”
Ah Jennifer, if only you knew. All you Archers – just the same when it comes down to it.
Falls to Lilian
Tony’s round at Lilian’s to talk about Peggy’s seating plan for her birthday lunch,.
Tony doesn’t want to sit next to Jennifer.
[Lilian] “Can’t we all try and behave like grown-ups, You’ve got my little loan to help you out, and it’s time to move on … If that what mum wants,. You’ll just have to deal with it darling”
But, Lilian is easily persuaded by Tony, so agrees to talk to Peggy. Without telling her that to9ny doesn’t want to sit next to Jennifer. So that she doesn’t have to explain what the fallout is about.
Ach well. A couple of gins first, and Lilian will wing it perfectly.
- Sharon’s back
- We missed Bonfire Night
- Snorting about a baby alarm
- The Tom Archer’s V Henry Archer’s argument in (nearly) full
- Hello Ambridge Organics
Sharon’s back
(not really)
Susan’s trying to get hold of Kylie, at Clive’s insistence, but she isn’t sure if the number she has for Sharon is even the right one anymore.
[Neil] “Kylie is Clive’s daughter, he’s the one that should be calling her, not you …”
[Susan] “I don’t want to talk about it!”
When Susan does get through, it sounded like some young lad answered. When Sharon came on, she told Susan that Kylie is away at University.
After a bit of back and forth – Sharon didn’t want to give Susan Kylie’s number, and most certainly didn’t want to come to the funeral herself:
[Sharon] “Not all that way. Not back to Ambridge …”
Sharon gives in and gives Susan Kylie’s number.
Susan speaks to Kylie later on (we don’t get to hear it) and she reckons Kylie is a nice girl, friendly, sad to hear about Ivy and was interested in the family.
[Susan] “Not like Sharon at all”
(well, can you blame her? Kylie won’t remember anything of Ambridge)
We missed Bonfire Night
That was a shame.
But seems it did go ahead at the Village Green, so Hilary Noakes didn’t get her wish after all.
Mind you, there’s always next year to try and ruin …
Snorting about a baby alarm
That’s really the level he’s sunk to.
He hasn’t even got the patience to wait for Helen to get the monitor on before they start their family meeting.
I’ve said it before, but what an a*se!
The Tom Archer’s V Henry Archer’s argument in (nearly) full
So, D-day for what the next step is for the Bridge Farm brand.
Here’s what happened over the kitchen table …
First, Pat had the good news that Morgan’s have also started ordering again (as well as Grey Gables) – in fact, Morgan’s have upped their order.
[Pat] “Early days … but it shows that the bridge Farm brand has some life in it”
[Tom] “Come on, let’s stay real here, two customers out of how many? It’s hardly a turnaround”
[Pat] “It’s a beginning”
[Helen] “Here we go …”
[Tony] “We’re got to start somewhere!”
[Tom] “All I’m saying is it’s been how long now? We all know how dire the situation is financially … we can’t afford to wait … if we need to save the business, we really have to go for a radical change”
[Helen] “Whoa, whoa, let’s just stop right there shall we … I might as well say this right now, I’m not going to work under the Tom Archer brand”
[Tom] “What! … well that’s just great, isn’t it. So what exactly are we here for?”
[Helen] “It’s quite simple. This isn’t your business Tom, it’s the whole family’s … so whatever name we choose, it should reflect that”
[Tom] “Okay, if you just let me explain the reasons why …”
[Helen] “No. I’m sorry,. It just wouldn’t be fair to market our goods under any one of our names. You can see that, surely?”
[Tom] “Well fine. If you won’t even listen to my point of view”
Tom wonders aloud if there’s a “hidden agenda” to try and veto his suggestions - Helen calls him paranoid.
[Tom] “Maybe I should take my business and go somewhere else and startup on my own”
[Tony] “Oh for goodness sake!”
So Pat interrupts to calm everyone down, and tells everyone to start again.
[Tom] “Actually, if you think about it, it’s quite a big thing I’m trying to do here”
[Helen] “What, take over the business!
[Tom] “No!”
[Pat] “Alright, calm and sensible, remember”
Tom reckons he’s doing everyone a big favor by giving them a “slice of his success”.
And that he is suggesting they use a family name – it may be Tom Archer’s – but it’s the Archer bit that’s important
(*snort*!)
[Helen] “Yes, and ooh look, it just happens to have Tom in front of it”
Tom then launches at Helen for her wanting to have Henry Archer’s as the brand. She reckons it’d make no difference to Tom (after all, he did just say that the important bit was Archer) and that it would also work well in focus groups.
Eh? I don’t follow Helen on that one.
And it gave Tom the opportunity to poi8nt out that Brenda should be at this meeting.
[Tony] “if you’d both shut up for a moment and let me say something …”
Tony, quite calmly, reminds Helen and Tom that this is a business he and Pat have spent years building up. And they did that to be able to hand the business over to their kids. If there isn’t a business sot hand over, then he reckons they’ve failed.
[Tony] “The Bridge Farm brand means everything to me … it’s been a very hard decision, but I do accept that things are so desperate that we do have to rebrand …”
And here’s where Tony has had a moment of genius.
He suggests that they rebrand – and that they rebrand everything to be Ambridge Organics.
It’s already in existence. It’s netural to all the family. And, it has no associations to the Bridge Farm brand.
Very clever indeed.
Hello Ambridge Organics
Tony reckon Tom seemed happy enough when leaving their meeting.
[Pat] “Well happy might be overdoing it … that was a skillful bit of mediation Tony, well done”
They both reckon Tom will go along with compromise – so that’s done and dusted then.
[Pat] “It definitely feels like the end of something. An era”
[Tony] “Well no point in being sentimental … it’s not about us anymore. It’s the kids. Their future. So it’s goodbye Bridge Farm and hello Ambridge Organics!”
- Oliver’s elixir helps badgers
- Who let Ed’s cows out?
- Kenton wants Tom’s spicy sausages
- Damn that Shelly Brazil!
- It’s still all about Clive …
- Brenda is not happy
Oliver’s elixir helps badgers
It’s TB test time for Ed. While he is quite nervous about.
His cows are shiny and milking well. And Oliver reassures hum that they’re not in a “hot spot” area, nor one which is an official badger culling area.
In fact. Olive has been doing his bit as well.
Seems he’s been outing an “elixir” down at the badger sets to help their immunity.
Nice Oliver.
Later on, Ed wonders whether they should take part in the badger vaccination. They can do so voluntarily, though they would need a group of local farmers to also take part. So, Ed’s off to ask David (with his NFU hat on).
[Oliver] “Well you can try. But he’s no friend of the Badger!”
Who let Ed’s cows out?
Ed was called out to Waterly Cross Road to round up some of his young ‘uns that had got onto the road.
Oliver seemed quite excited about it.
[Oliver] “Right, what are we waiting for!”
But once they get there (and get the cows back in with Tom and Brenda’s help), Ed reckons they’d got out through the gate.
[Tom] “Stupid walkers. You’d think they’d know better”
[Ed] “It was deliberate though. Someone meant to let them out”
Seems the gate is hard to lift open, so it couldn’t have just been nudged by the cows or blown open by the wind.
Wonder who would have done that?
Kenton wants Tom’s spicy sausages
Brave Kenton.
Especially as talking to Tom means you get a free half hour lecture on how Tom is right and his folks are wrong.
[Tom] “We need to change the branding and move on … until Mum and da come to terms with the digital age”
Ah, shush there Tom.
Damn that Shelly Brazil!
Seems she has 8,000 Twitter followers.
(which is a surprisingly large number for a local, minor version of a celeb chief, but I shall not quibble)
And she has Tweeted out Tom’s pigs playing football.
And when he checks it later on, his video has had over 23,000 hits.
[Tom] “That’s 23 thousand my boy. Piggy football is going viral!”
Damn it!
Tom is going to be insufferable.
It’s still all about Clive …
I’m starting to wish he’d do something psychotic to stop his constant moaning.
He offers to take Bert to the pub.
Which is (I suppose) helpful.
But then:
[Clive to Susan] “Yeah well, he’s lost his cook and cleaner. Poor old boy. He won’t know where he is … Still he’s got you … you’ll be popping round with the odd stew I’m sure”
[Susan] “One of us has got to. Don't see anybody else rushing to help!”
But no – Clive reckons he would help, it’s just that he always gets elbowed out of the way.
He’s now also annoyed that no-one has asked him about the funeral.
[Clive] “Well. Let me know. I wouldn't want to miss it …And what about Kylie? Has anyone been in touch with her. She’ll need to know. She’ll want to be at her nan’s funeral”
And classic Clive – he leaves it to Susan to call Kylie. He reckons he hasn’t got her number, and he can’t call as things aren’t good between him and Sharon (Kylie’s mum).
Then, once he’s been to the pub with Bert, he hardly sounds sympathetic to Bert being in shock.
[Clive] “Rambling … Remember that time we all went down to Weymouth … something about the old girl stepping on a crab … then for no reason at all he started burbling about the council putting him on half time”
Where Susan sees Bert as finally breaking down and showing his grief, Clive:
[Clive] “I wouldn’t count on it. He’s probably just missing having his meals cooked for him”
[Susan] “You don’t change, do you. You have to see the worst in everyone”
Clive calms down and says to take no notice of him. He’s just used to “ducking and diving”. Susan tells him that he can change.
Then he asks her for a bacon sarnie and a lift to Felpersham.
Which she agrees to.
Looks like Susan can’t change either.
Brenda is not happy
About not being seen as an official part of the Archer clan by Tony (as yet), and that she can’t add her valuable expertise and wisdom to the meeting about how to market Bridge Farm.
[Brenda] “The only thing that’s going to get bridge Farm out of the mire is good marketing, and who knows all about it … and what constitutes family? You can see why I feel hurt. After all the effort I made!”
And worse still – someone else has had an idea!
[Brenda] “You’ve heard Helen’s latest idea on rebranding. Everything goes under the brand name Henry’s”
[Tom] “You’re not serious!”
[Brenda] “She is. I think …”
[Tom] “No way!”
[Brenda] “It’s got a certain ring to it …”
[Tom] “I don’t care if it chimes like big ben. It’s not going to happen”
Hark him!
Feeling threatened by a baby …
