The Archers Monday 8th October 2012
- Even the guinea pig doesn’t want those biscuits
- Fallon’s still depressed
- Lynda’s (forcibly) recruiting
- Jim’s had a late night
- David tries to support Ed
- Britain in Bloom rumbles on
- Ed has chocolate, and remembers the carefree days
Even the guinea pig doesn’t want those biscuits
Things are still very grim and Ed and Emma’s.
There’s not enough bread. Now not enough soup. And only just enough cheese for Ed to have a tiny wee bit.
But he can have some biscuits.
The horrible ones that neither Ed nor George like – even the guinea pig doesn’t want them.
For pity sake – GO BACK TO WORK EMMA!!!!
Fallon’s still depressed
Now that Jolene and Kenton are back, Fallon no longer has the freedom to manage The Bull as she’s wish to.
Though I suspect her depression might have something to do with Rhys being away in Wales.
Lynda’s (forcibly) recruiting
Lynda’s after both Kenton and Fallon to star in her village extravaganza.
[Lynda] “Marvellous, I can kill two birds in one bar.”
[Kenton] “I hope not, we’ve only just the carpet cleaned.”
I think (especially Kenton) will take a heck of a lot of persuading.
He doesn’t sound keen at all.
Jim’s had a late night
He and Jazzer sat up late last night watching their film. And drinking lager.
And doesn’t Jim feel awful today!
He reckons Jazzer and he are “brainwashing” each other.
David tries to support Ed
[David] “I don’t think it’s ever been tougher than this year.”
Though David admits both Phil and Dan would have also said the same about any of their years.
Only difference is the sheer cost of living these days.
Obviously spotting that not all’s well at Ed and Emma’s, David tells Ed he can talk to him anytime he likes.
[David quoting Dan] “And may the weather be kinder to farmers.”
Well, think Ed needs more than a bit of sunshine.
Britain in Bloom rumbles on
It may be over for the rest of us, but Lynda still has Britain in Bloom very much in mind.
She’s giving Kenton a row about not keeping The Bull’s outside as tidy as it could be.
After all, Ambridge is going to get a plaque for placing this year.
Ed has chocolate, and remembers the carefree days
Fallon catches Ed coming out of the village shop, gulping down a chocolate bar.
[Fallon] “And they make out chocolate’s a girl thing!”
Seems Ed is wishing for more carefree times. They get onto how he used to sing in their band. Now he doesn’t even sing in the shower.
[Ed] “I can’t believe we were in a band … young, free, single.”
[Fallon, not exactly revelling in being single] “You can have too much of a good thing.”
[Ed] “You can too little as well …”
Though Ed loves Emma, and being a family, it’s not exactly a barrel of laughs at the moment.
[Ed] “It’s just, it’s tough working it all out, right now, it’s … look, don’t say this to anyone … right now the business isn’t paying its way. I’ve had to cut what I’m I;m paying myself and things are pretty tight … I hate feeling I’m not providing for them. I hate letting them down … if working harder would make any difference, it’s what I’d do … and Will, he just flashes his money all around …”
Oh dear.
Ed really is hitting rock bottom.
- Clarrie doesn’t want to have to go
- A ventouse is a kind of suction thing you put on a baby’s head
- Amy and Alice tattie picking
- Joe’s cider
- Glamorous Clarrie?
- Alice and Amy get vertical
- Harvest supper venue problems, again
- Jim’s sense of fun
- Mike wants green burial, Alistair wants Josh
- A thought for those departed
- Did Jim have a point to make?
- It’s also David’s birthday
Clarrie doesn’t want to have to go
She’s doing the food (Christine’s puddings are in the van, and the pork just need sliced), but even seeing a very helpful David doesn’t make Clarrie any more keen to go to Joe’s party.
[David] “Ninety years old, eh, that’s a bit special … Oh Clarrie, um, just wanted to say, well, it’s great to see you back. After your trip”
Eddie tries to bluster that Clarrie was just away for Rosie’s birthday, but I think Eddie’s attempts to cover up Clarrie going on a wander is backfiring.
[Clarrie] “Well that were nice of him. Don’t know what he were thinking … I wish I didn’t have to face everyone so soon”
But of course, Clarrie being Clarrie turns out for Joe’s birthday at the Cider Club.
A ventouse us a kind of suction thing you put on a baby’s head
So says Amy.
Amy and Alice tattie picking
Alice has persuaded Amy to help do tattie picking at Bridge Farm.
[Alice] “Their business is heading for the buffers, seemingly”
Which makes Alice feel that her and Chris’ economy drive is rather small fry in comparison.
Joe’s cider
[David] “Not a bad drop of stuff that, Joe”
[Joe] “Well take a proper swig then … finest tonic known to man, this is”
Seems Joe is starting on the 2011 vintage soon. And he has permission from Oliver to take the fallen apples off of his land.
[Joe] “Oliver Sterling … a great supporter of local enterprise”
Jim’s sense of fun
[Jim] “I don’t see much going on at this table”
[Joe] “That’s cause we’re enjoying ourselves”
[Jim] “Well, that can stop right now!”
Jim’s determined to stick to his and Bert’s plan of ye oldie fashioned games. So, Joe’s tables has to crack on with dominoes or cribbage.
Jim has even drawn up a fixture list. And:
[Jim] “A series of conversion factors allowing comparison of the point’s total of the various games, I think it’s pretty self-explanatory”
Right barrel of laughs, is our Jim.
Glamorous Clarrie?
[Jim] “Well we’re delighted to see you Clarrie. It’s what the cider club’s needed for a long time. A bit of glamour”
What is Clarrie wearing to Joe’s party???
Alice and Amy get vertical
Oo-er missus!
[Alice] “Hang on a bit. Cam we try being vertical for a couple of minutes? … Ooh. Doesn’t half get your back when you’re not used to it “
Blimey!
Harvest supper venue problems, again
Amy was asking Alice for an empty barn that her dad could use for the harvest supper.
As Amy herself said, Alan always seems to get let down last minute.
Didn’t they hold it in The Bull last year?
What’s wrong with going there again?
Mike wants green burial, Alistair wants Josh
(it’s almost as if Frankie Howard was alive and well)
David reckons Mike’s interested in managing the green burial site.
And Alistair wants Josh for the cricket team.
A thought for those departed
[Joe] “Shame some of the old uns aren’t here to see it …Tom Forrest, Walter Gabriel, used to like a game of cribbage”
And as David reminded him, Dan Archer was also quite partial to a game of cribbage.
Did Jim have a point to make?
Jim seemed to be trying to say to Clarrie that it’s not her fault about the E. coli.
But, in a very cack handed way.
He complemented her on her egg and ham pie.
The started waffling about how everything it made in far too hygienic conditions these days, afy6er he’d noticed that Clarrie was drinking wine rather than Joe’s cider.
[Clarrie] “I wouldn’t touch that, I’ve seen how he makes it”
[Jim] “Which is precisely why it’s so beneficial in my opinion, it challenges the immune system which makes us all the stronger”
Seems Jim was trying to somehow say that Clarrie had done folks a favour by giving them E. coli.
Hmmm. Taking that a bit too far, Jim, methinks.
It’s also David’s birthday
Not that you’d have noticed amongst all the glory of Jim’s 90th.
But then again, suppose it would be very tasteful for David to have a big celebration, considering Nigel …
- Josh or Pip?
- Business for Matt’s birthday
- Matt’s also pondering Paulhill
- Fond memories and hopeful future at Brookfield
- Pat’s on the radio
Josh or Pip?
Astonishment at Brookfield as Josh is out of bed at a decent hour (during his holidays) AND he wants to helping with the milking.
In fact, he wants to do the milking everyday while he’s on holiday.
Of course, that’s somewhat about an increase in his pocket money – but also:
[Josh] “I’ve got a lot to learn if I’m going to be like you (David), Mum and granddad”
Josh is even worrying about what would happen if they ever had to get rid of the cows (unprofitable milk yields, and so on).
So now David has something new to worry about.
Pip wants to be on the farm. And would seem Josh also wants to be on the farm. That would mean Brookfield having to support a potential of three families.
[David] “I was hoping Josh would become a premiership footballer and keep us all in the lap of luxury”
Nae luck!
Business for Matt’s birthday
Classic Pusscat and Tiger moment:
[Matt] “you were dead to the world”
[Lilian] “Slumbering peacefully, I think you’ll find”
But back to business – which is what Matt wants to do on his birthday, rather than go to the Snells’ party.
Seems some bloke called Ken Dickinson (who happens to use golden tees during golf) is having a barbeque on Sunday. He’s a major developer, has invited Matt and Lilian – so Matt’s only too glad to insist they go to his shindig instead of Lynda’s.
[Matt] “Finally, I’ve been buttering him up for months”
[Lilian] “Do you really want to spend your birthday doing business?”
[Matt] “More so than having me brain numbed by Lynda”
Lilian really does want to go to the Snells – James (and Leonie) will be there.
[Matt] “He might be disappointed you can’t go, but it’s the first time he’s wanted to come within spitting distance of me”
But sounds like Lilian will give up James and the Snells for Matt’s business networking.
Well, it is his birthday …
Matt’s also pondering Paulhill
The plot does thicken.
Matt’s remembered that Darrell (the bloke who also wants to buy the Farrier business) is the brother of one of the contractors he and Lilian know. After a wee bit of digging, he finds out that Darrell is going through a messy divorce, and is having to sell his house.
[Lilian] “Well done Tiger, that’s very interesting news”
Indeed.
Can we assume Darrell also isn’t in a financial position to outbid Chris?
Fond memories and hopeful future at Brookfield
Ruth’s telling Josh about how his granddad (Phil) brought the black and whites to Brookfield, replacing the shorthorns that Josh’s great-grandfather (Dan) had.
Ruth also remembers her view from Nightingale Farm, when she first moved to Ambridge:
[Ruth] “I never imagined that view would become my life”
[Josh] “You really love the cows, don’t you mum?”
[Ruth] “Yeah, of course. I’ve put a lot of hard work into them … I suppose it’s those moments when you stand back and see a strong, healthy herd producing value food, it reminds you why you do it, you know”
Pat’s on the radio
Pat’s having her interview with Wayne Folley at Radio Borchester.
She finally gets her chance to say her heartfelt piece about the kiddies:
[Pat] “Genuinely, it’s been the worst aspect of all this. We’re a small family run business, my daughter has recently had a baby, it really does break all our hearts to imagine how worried those parents must be”
When she gets back from the interview (which wasn’t live – so it’s still to air), Pat finds out that they’ve definitely lost Underwoods as an account. It’s their biggest customer, so not good news.
Especially now that they’re able to start production again.
Will there be anyone to produce for?
- Susan can manage her own jugs
- At least Vicky has sympathy
- Freddie and Lily back to school
- They’ve let Helen out
- Tom and Brenda to leave the country!
- “I’d like it to be a big one”
- Phoebe’s being very good about it
- Elizabeth can now hear Nigel
- Dan or Ian?
- Should the kids be there?
Susan can manage her own jugs
So says she, but she’s still happy to have Vicky around to help out elsewhere.
At least Vicky has sympathy
[Vicky] “What a tragedy … those poor children”
All Susan can find to say about Nigel dying is that she’ll have to re-arrange the Village Shop rota, as Jill’s too busy with Elizabeth.
(and I don’t mean this to be an anti-Susan posting – she just sets herself up sometimes!)
Freddie and Lily back to school
Seemingly the biggest problem was that they seemed more worried about leaving Elizabeth.
Which has, in turn, helped Elizabeth to realise that they are better off in the ‘real world’, rather than looking after her.
So, Jill was right (again!).
And bless Ruairi’s wee socks – he made sure Freddie joined in his football game. Because he “knows what it’s like”.
Aw. How’s a nice, sensitive chap like that being brought up by Jennifer and Brian?
They’ve let Helen out
We didn’t get to hear her having to say her goodbye to Henry (for the time being).
Helen still sounds perfectly happy and sane (I’m still hoping it lasts), and is still acknowledging that she was a bit of a madam to Tony and Pat during her pregnancy.
It’s Pat’s birthday today, and Tom reassured:
[Tom] “But, you can do no wrong know that you’ve presented them with Henry!!”
Later on, Helen’s proving again that she’s changed.
[Helen] “I don’t expect everyone to find him as interesting as I do”
Cripes! Helen. Not expecting someone else to be as obsessed with something in her life as she is. There’s a change and a half.
Tom and Brenda to leave the country!
They will return – as it’s only a treat for Brenda’s 30th birthday – but I’m amazed they’re actually going anywhere. They generally don’t venture beyond The Bull
“I’d like it to be a big one”
So says Vicky!
She’s decided it’d be a great idea to throw Brenda a surprise party.
The guest list so far includes Susan, Neil, Chris and Alice (all great friends of Brenda’s … hmmm), and Vicky’s enlisted Susan’s expertise to make sure the party is spectacular.
Which means games.
Sounds like Tom managed to put Brenda off of the idea of having Brenda’s baby pictures on the walls of the party.
[Tom] “It’s a nice thought, but honestly? No.”
‘Party on down’ indeed!
Do we think this will be a birthday Brenda won’t ever forget – for all the wrong reasons?
Phoebe’s being very good about it
I’d totally forgotten about Phoebe and her heartache over Kate leaving her. Again.
Vicky reckons she’s putting a brave face on it, but Susan isn’t impressed.
[Susan] “More than Kate deserves, if you ask me”
Did anyone actually ask Susan?
Elizabeth can now hear Nigel
First she was feeling, and nearly seeing, Nigel – now Elizabeth can hear him:
[Elizabeth] “I could her Nigel talking to me. ‘Come on Lizzie, you’d know I’d like a wicker one’”
Later on, coffin chosen, Elizabeth is also planning Nigel’s “final journey”
[Elizabeth] “Ideally, of course, he’d have linked to go on his bike… the next best thing would be to have the coffin on the wagon and to have Cranford Christie pull it.”
Elizabeth is doing superbly well, organising Nigel’s coffin, funeral, letting the kids go …
But as always, it’s the calm after the tragedy that often proves the most difficult.
Dan or Ian?
Having a look through some of Tony’s many (many!) photographs of Henry, Vicky and Susan are playing ‘spot the grandfather and father’.
Reckoning that there’s no Tony to be seen,
[Susan] “something of Dan Archer about him …Oh, he was a nice man. Gave my Neil his start in life, really”
[Vicky] “It’s strange isn’t it … he might just look like his father and we’ll never know”
[Susan] “Well, I think he looks like his father …”
[Vicky] “But we don’t know who that is!”
[Susan] “Don’t we? I’m surprised at you Vicky .. .you’re usually quick about these things … what’s his name?”
Vicky is still, at first, a bit slow. After Susan told her to think of Ian rather than Henry …
[Susan] “I never bought that name about the sperm donor … it was a cover story”
[Vicky] “Do you think they actually …”
[Susan] “All I can say, is they are close friends”
Yikes! Close friends. Ian likes kids. He painted the nursery. AND Susan reckons Henry has his chin.
Case closed. Though I’d imagine they didn’t actually …
It’s always hard to take Susan and Vicky seriously, but others have mentioned Ian as the potential father.
I’m not convinced.
Though the speed with which Helen was accepted and then got pregnant was extraordinary fast – if she did get a chap to assist directly, I’d doubt it was Ian.
Ian’s devoted to Adam. Adam was against Ian being a father last time. And Ian wouldn’t hide this from Adam.
And surely his reaction to Henry would have been different if he’d actually been his child?
Nope. I think there might be something in the idea that Helen didn’t have an anonymous donor, but Ian’s not the chap.
I also think there’s a bit of assumption based on Ian’s sexuality. There’d be nothing to stop a straight man (single or attached) ‘helping’ Helen out. Having a baby with a friend isn’t just the reservation of gay men …
Should the kids be there?
Jill’s very upset to hear Elizabeth say that Freddie and Lily won’t be at Nigel’s funeral.
Elizabeth’s just as upset that Jill assumed they would be there.
[Jill] “They need to say goodbye to their father”
[Elizabeth] “Not like this. Not at a huge bewildering public occasion … I don’t want those to be their last memories of Nigel”
[Elizabeth] “Mum – I don’t want to be there. I’m certainly not going to out the children through it … I don’t know how I’m going to be like on the day … I don’t know what I might do … They’re my children and I don’t want them there”
Another tricky one.
Deny your kids the chance of saying goodbye – or put them through the fairly scarring experience of seeing their mum through herself onto a wicker coffin …
By default, I’d just do what Jill says!
